Please this is not a gender bashing thread


I read the family section and realised that while talking about a family, some of us still picture the family as the traditional father working and mother sitting at home. This thread is just a reminder of how different families are run SUCCESSFULLY. I would like to think that a couple agree on what type of way to run the family before getting married. I would like to also think that when something unfortunate happens like one party loosing a job, that they can run the family in another way pending when things gets better.



A family where both man and woman works fulltime.

In this type of family, both man and woman work fulltime. Somehow the couple should make time to do their other duties together. The couple should plan how they will both take care of the kids, cook for the family and generally run the family. Nobody is helping each other here.


A family where one works fulltime and the other part time

In this case, the partner working part time takes up more house chores while the partner working fulltime should help out.



A working father and a stay at home mum.

In this type of family, the man works and takes care of the financial needs of the home while the woman takes care of the children and the domestic duties at home. As the woman is the one that stays at home, she does most of the domestic chores and run the home but nothing stops the man from helping out when he can.

A working mother and a stay at home dad

In this type of family, the woman works and takes care of the financial needs of the home while the man takes care of the home and the domestic duties at home. As the man is the one that stays at home, he does most of the domestic chores and run the home but nothing stops the woman from helping out when she can.

I guess we are a mish mash of all of the above. I'm a stay at home mum at the moment and my hubby brings home most of the bacon. But I do chip in with a bit of ebaying. Pretty much responsible for my child's wardrobe ( I do not joke with it) so all decisions about what he wears is left to me
Chores, we both share it not equally but still shared. He does dishes and taking out the trash, I do everything else.
Raising our son, we both have input. I'm more of a push over, he's firmer. One thing we do is whatever one says infront of the kid goes, we do not override each other's decisions before that sharp boy starts playing us against each other.
He's very hands on, so am I but generally decisions about my sons welfare is left to me not because I'm in charge but because he trusts me to make sound ones( how can I not ? I'm obsessed with the little man),

@ shaybebaby,

You have a good husband. God will continue to bless your home. The most important thing is that it is working for the two of you and you both are happy. I actually believe couple should always do what works for them.

I hope my post does not come across like I am giving a to do list. It is not my intention neither am I saying couples should follow any of them.I wrote this post because I think some posters is nairaland keeps making it look like families have their father working and mother staying at home. This post is not to debate which system is better. It is just a post to remind us that some families are run differently.

babygirlfl: @ shaybebaby,

You have a good husband. God will continue to bless your home. The most important thing is that it is working for the two of you and you both are happy. I actually believe couple should always do what works for them.

I hope my post does not come across like I am giving a to do list. It is not my intention neither am I saying couples should follow any of them.I wrote this post because I think some posters is nairaland keeps making it look like families have their father working and mother staying at home. This post is not to debate which system is better. It is just a post to remind us that some families are run differently.

Oh absolutely. We are different human beings and as such our needs vary.
I have chosen the person best suited to who I am as an individual. The same goes for everyone else.
Different routes to happiness so it's up to families to decide what works best for them. As long as they are content with their choices, that's what counts.
Ofcourse it doesn't seem like you have made a to- do list. You've simply highlighted some of the various paths families might employ, heck someone might read one of your points and think" hey I'd give that a go".

Beautiful theory of family patterns and constituting values.

The reality is always distantly different. The average married man/woman who looks at this will just laugh.

Love fundamentally alters so much between two people. Either to one extreme of each of the stated patterns or the other.

Well done!

On nairaland it's black and white.
No room for grey areas.
Lol

Its not possible to prescribe a family structure or unit as variety abounds

Your list is not exhaustive and rather conventional considering alternate family forms exist

babygirlfl:
.I wrote this post because I think some posters is nairaland keeps making it look like families have their father working and mother staying at home. This post is not to debate which system is better. It is just a post to remind us that some families are run differently.

Good thread. Now compare to the man that is asking who greets who first in the morning in 2014. Nonsense.

cococandy: On nairaland it's black and white.
No room for grey areas.
Lol

Hahaha

pickabeau1: Its not possible to prescribe a family structure or unit as variety abounds

Your list is not exhaustive and rather conventional considering alternate family forms exist

You can tell us the other forms.

Stillfire:

You can tell us the other forms.

Due to economic or immigration realities, we have families where one spouse is located away from the family
This type too is very real

What do you think

pickabeau1:

Due to economic or immigration realities, we have families where one spouse is located away from the family
This type too is very real

What do you think

If it the man that is located away from home, that means he sends in upkeep money as agreed and the wife(if a stay at home mummy) takes care of the home front. If wife is a working woman, she gets a paid help/maid to help with the home care and support whatever hubby sends to them for upkeep.

But come to think of it, who helps those husbands located away from home with house chores? #just curious

Godmystrength:
If it the man that is located away from home, that means he sends in upkeep money as agreed and the wife(if a stay at home mummy) takes care of the home front. If wife is a working woman, she gets a paid help/maid to help with the home care and support whatever hubby sends to them for upkeep.

But come to think of it, who helps those husbands located away from home with house chores? #just curious

Ok..

I think nothing is wrong with any of the OP's examples. Where i have a problem is when

A working mother and a stay at home dad
In this type of family, the woman works and takes care of the financial needs of the home while she also takes care of the home and the domestic duties at home. Though the man is the one that stays at home, he doesn't do any of the domestic chores nor run the home because he is the king of the house.

A working father and a stay at home mum.

In this type of family, the man works and takes care of the financial needs of the home while the woman is too lazy to care of the children and the domestic duties at home. Though the woman is the one that stays at home, she doesn't do any of the domestic chores nor run the home but expects the man to help out by force because in her mind, she is the weaker vessel.

A family where both man and woman works fulltime.

In this type of family, both man and woman work fulltime. Somehow the hubby expects the wife to make time to do home duties alone, take care of the kids, cook for the family etc. While wife expects the hubby to be 100% responsible for bringing in the finances for running the family while she pockets hers. Nobody is helping each other here.

and many other kinda structures that will amaze you.

From the stories i read on NL, i see all this a lot. In all, whatever rocks your boat no ni.

Nice Thread Op. Well thought out analysis.

cococandy: On nairaland it's black and white.
No room for grey areas.
Lol

hahaha funny but true

Godmystrength: I think nothing is wrong with any of the OP's examples. Where i have a problem is when

A working mother and a stay at home dad
In this type of family, the woman works and takes care of the financial needs of the home while she also takes care of the home and the domestic duties at home. Though the man is the one that stays at home, he doesn't do any of the domestic chores nor run the home because he is the king of the house.

A working father and a stay at home mum.

In this type of family, the man works and takes care of the financial needs of the home while the woman is too lazy to care of the children and the domestic duties at home. Though the woman is the one that stays at home, she doesn't do any of the domestic chores nor run the home but expects the man to help out by force because in her mind, she is the weaker vessel.

A family where both man and woman works fulltime.

In this type of family, both man and woman work fulltime. Somehow the hubby expects the wife to make time to do home duties alone, take care of the kids, cook for the family etc. While wife expects the hubby to be 100% responsible for bringing in the finances for running the family while she pockets hers. Nobody is helping each other here.

and many other kinda structures that will amaze you.

From the stories i read on NL, i see all this a lot. In all, whatever rocks your boat no ni.

spot on

Omo that thread had me ROTFL.

Stillfire: Good thread. Now compare to the man that is asking who greets who first in the morning in 2014. Nonsense.



Hahaha

Nice thread

There should be no hard and fast rule as to how a family should be run, couples should simply adjust as circumstances demand.

Nice thread btw, Op!

babygirlfl: Please this is not a gender bashing thread


I read the family section and realised that while talking about a family, some of us still picture the family as the traditional father working and mother sitting at home. This thread is just a reminder of how different families are run SUCCESSFULLY. I would like to think that a couple agree on what type of way to run the family before getting married. I would like to also think that when something unfortunate happens like one party loosing a job, that they can run the family in another way pending when things gets better.



A family where both man and woman works fulltime.

In this type of family, both man and woman work fulltime. Somehow the couple should make time to do their other duties together. The couple should plan how they will both take care of the kids, cook for the family and generally run the family. Nobody is helping each other here.


A family where one works fulltime and the other part time

In this case, the partner working part time takes up more house chores while the partner working fulltime should help out.



A working father and a stay at home mum.

In this type of family, the man works and takes care of the financial needs of the home while the woman takes care of the children and the domestic duties at home. As the woman is the one that stays at home, she does most of the domestic chores and run the home but nothing stops the man from helping out when he can.

A working mother and a stay at home dad

In this type of family, the woman works and takes care of the financial needs of the home while the man takes care of the home and the domestic duties at home. As the man is the one that stays at home, he does most of the domestic chores and run the home but nothing stops the woman from helping out when she can.

Interesting thread. I'm in supporting of working together to build the home. Nobody is above anything. A Man who stays @ home should take care of the homefront, domestic duties and all with the support and guidance of his Wife and a housewife should also get some support from the husband whenever he can. And working class couples should support one another to get things going or get assistance.