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"7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" (36706 Views)

In Marriage, You Must Be Blind And A Mumu To A Lot Of Things. / How Would You React If Your Newly Married Wife Told You This / 10 Painfully Obvious Truths Everyone Forgets Too Soon (2) (3) (4)

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Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by egopersonified(f): 1:07pm On Jul 30, 2014
Bigsteveg: FTC

U no dey taya for this dance?
op, thank you for confirming number 2, hope the singles take note.
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Chrisbenogor(m): 1:48pm On Jul 30, 2014
ihedinobi2:

1. Marriage is not about you and what you like.

grin grin grin Sweeping statement, you and what you like is a huge part of deciding to spend the rest of your life with somebody.
Tell that to the wife that does not like to be flogged like an ogbanje geh because of sex. grin grin grin grin

2. The perfect person is the person with whom you achieve the purpose of your existence. Their flaws are as perfect for you as their strengths.
Yet another sweeping statement. Knowing and deciding whether or not we can live with a flaw is more important than trying to force people to live with things they cannot live with.
Tell that to the woman whose husbands serial flaw is thinking he is mike tyson, the only perfect thing would be her chopping igbati grin

3. Marriage is hard when you marry for the wrong reasons and have the wrong expectations. It's like trying to dig with a fork or a pin.
Oh finally something better, but can you connect to number 1 and 2? Lets try this shall we,
The reason for marriage is not about you or what you like, accept the evander holyfield flaw of your partner because it is as perfect as your strength of chopping igbati grin grin grin



4,5,6,7...........
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Boomark(m): 1:54pm On Jul 30, 2014
Nice writeup but I disagree with the context of No 6.

10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: 12 For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”

Marriage is not for everyone in the sense that those who have the gift to remain unmarried will remain so and also those who have chosen not to marry should try and remain in their choice. If your spirit did not tell you so and you have not made that choice, then you are good to go.

The same chapter he quoted also said,
1Cor 7:2
But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

You should marry if you don't have the gift to overcome sexual immorality.

From verse 7-9, Paul understood that gifts are different, so he urged those who have his kind of gift to remain like him but those who don't should go and marry.

Those who are of age to marry should know that they are not condemned not to marry since they are not yet married. You need a little patient.

For my Ladies, if you see someone you like, don't bother about the outcome, approach him, tell him and leave. If he is interested he will come for you. Remember "don't bother about the outcome." or start thinking what he is going to think of you. Do play hard-to-get angry when he is coming, do it when you are already in.

This is better than waiting and dreaming. Dreams wount attract them. For those who want to marry in their church only, instead of in the Lord, no problem.
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Boomark(m): 1:58pm On Jul 30, 2014
@BluIvy read^
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by anukulapo: 1:58pm On Jul 30, 2014
ihedinobi2: Ever wish you had the answers to a test before you walked into the classroom? Maybe some of you did have the answers, but you better keep that to yourself. I took some really hard tests during my college tenure. An engineering curriculum will do that. And if you spent time in college you remember review days. The professor would walk into a class full of students (some of which I had never seen) and give some insights about the impending test. Miss review day, and it would be foolish to expect a passing grade. But it never failed. I would follow the guideline. I would study the handout. But on the day of the exam, the professor would put the exam on my desk…and there it was. A foreign formula or equation I had never seen. At least one I did not see on the study guide. Looking back, I realize something…the teacher did not intend for the study guide to be comprehensive. It was simply not possible to include everything from the required reading, class notes, and lectures. Such is the case with the church and marriage. I am grateful for the foundation the church gave me in regards to marriage. It was a good study guide. But there some things on the test I did not learn until marriage began. So, I am going to give you some answers to the test that some of you might not expect to see. I grew up in church. I spent most of my time with Christian people. I was told much about marriage. But these 7 truths about marriage I never heard in church.



1.) Sex is a gift from God. Explore It.

Make no mistake…God created sex. But through the years, God’s people have allowed Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight. I was never educated about sex…and I grew up in a Christian family. My framework for sex was built by my friends at school and the movies I watched. Big UH OH. I still struggle with enjoying the fullness of sex today because of the cloud of lies formed during my teenage years.

It is time for God’s people to take back the gift of sex. The lies surrounding it are ruining lives and ruining marriages. If you are married, let me challenge you to explore sex. Explore the fullness of it for the glory of God. Pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.

Parents…it is time to stop allowing Satan to define sex for our children. Educate them. Start early. The average child is exposed to pornography at age 11. Eleven!! And many parents wait until high school to have “the talk” with them. At that point, you are not building a foundation for sex, but trying to destroy a foundation Satan has already built.


Church leaders…I am convinced of this. The situation in our culture today is too dire to allow parents to override you here. Talk about sex. If parents refuse to educate their children, then you do it. Do not let Satan beat you to the punch. A false understanding of sex is destroying our young people. It is destroying our nation. It is destroying our world. And we are doing nothing! Sex is a beautiful gift created by God for a man and a woman that have vowed to spend the rest of their earthly lives with one another. If you are married…open this gift and enjoy the fullness of it.




2.) There is more than one person out there for you.

Soul mates are made…not born. I am not sure where this idea of soul mate originated, but it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than perfection. Every person on earth has imperfections. And the reality is we could spend our lives with more than one person.


Tiffani (my wife) is not perfect. There are nuances about her that frustrate me. But I have realized these frustrations are really a result of my imperfections. I love her so much. And I love her more everyday. I am committed to her.

I meet too many young people that are waiting for something that is not real. “I just couldn’t marry her because she smacked her food.” “He just wasn’t the one…he had this weird twitch when he smiled. But I know my soul mate is still out there. I just have to keep looking.”

Or you might have just missed him or her. What if God does not want you to find a perfect person, but find an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a person with flaws to expose yours?

What if God wants to teach you the value and life found in committing to one person forever, not the exhausting pursuit of searching your entire life to find the perfect person?

Soul mates are made…not born.




3.) The first year of marriage is hard…really hard.

What have we done? Are we going to make it? Why is this so hard? All questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage. We were arguing. We were fighting. It was really hard. And every day I thought something was wrong. I thought we had a bad marriage. Nobody warned me about the first year. But take this as a warning…the first year of marriage is difficult. If you are in the first year of marriage and thinking about giving up…congratulations. You are now…married!

But let me encourage you…do not give up. Everyone struggles. You are not unique. Persevere. There are better days coming. Your marriage will get better. Do not walk out. If you walk out now you disqualify yourself (and your spouse) from years of joy. Stick with it.



4.) A spouse does not complete you

I hate you Jerry Maguire. You have brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie. Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love her. Until then, I was always frustrated. I expected Tiffani to do something she was incapable of
doing.

If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your problems…buckle up. It will be a bumpy ride. Only God can fill those voids. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s job is to complete you.



5.) Marry somebody with similar goals, dreams, and passions.

Marry somebody that is a Christian, yes. But I would go even further. Marry somebody with similar passions and dreams. Now, I understand this breaks down at some point. People are not machines. No two people are going to want exactly the same thing in life. However, if you love foreign missions and your potential spouse hates going overseas, some tension will arise. Synergy is extremely important in a marriage. If your spouse has the same vision as you, they will understand your struggles and support your pursuits. They will encourage your walk. They will be empathetic. There is much power in two people living life with the same goals, dreams, and passions for life.



6.) Marriage is not for everybody.

Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 7. He tells the church at Corinth to remain in the situation they are in. If unmarried, then stay unmarried. If married, then stay married. He later says this… Even better? I never heard that in church. Maybe it is time for God’s people to accept the reality that God has not called everyone to marry. I have talked with young men and women that are so concerned with finding a spouse. It consumes them. And most of the pressure comes from…US. The church. Once a person reaches mid- twenties, we assume something is wrong with them if they have not married. They must have a terrible flaw.

“Bless your heart. You are almost 30 and not married? I know this must be hard!?”

Shame on us. I am worried many failed marriages are a result of people allowing the pressure of marriage to draw them into something God did not design them for. Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus without a spouse.



7.) The wedding day is a lie…don’t buy it.

I love weddings. I love officiating them. It is a rare moment where I get to make a divine proclamation that forever changes the status of two people. Powerful.

But in an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation. “Every girl lives for her wedding day.” It is all about the bride and groom. Everyone looks at them. Encourages them. Congratulates them.

Many couples have bought the lie of the wedding day…it is all about me. But marriage is at odds with this mindset. A successful wedding day is one where everyone serves you. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. The wedding day is a day where the spotlight is on you. Marriage has no spotlight. The wedding day is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously. Marriage is about putting the words into action. The wedding day is joyous and celebratory. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go through the storms.

Embrace your wedding day. Prepare for it. Celebrate it. But do not make the mistake of believing the lie. After your 20 minutes of fame, the spotlight is gone forever. It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing…you will see).


[url=frankmatthewpowell.com/truths-sex-marriage-never-learned-church/]Source[/url]
A dairy entry. Life saving opinion he's gat there
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Chienex24(m): 2:03pm On Jul 30, 2014
@OP you deserve a special gift!!!! Wherever you got this from, wonderful piece I must say!!!!!!
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by tylesh(f): 3:40pm On Jul 30, 2014
Bigsteveg: FTC

All the girls them dey dance galala
But this new dance don cause casala
For this dance you no need shakara
Oya whine your hips like a this
Like a that
Like a this
Like a that
To your right
To the front
And your yansh to the back
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Oh girl what is the plan
We are planning to love your demands
Shey you want to dance…dance
You wan collect money from my bank
Oya scatter the town
Na the baddest wey dey in the town
When they see me around
Them dey scatter the dance like clown
Oya fi jo gba owo
Oya so jo di owo
Oya dance to the sound
like a this, like a that
All the girls them dey dance galala
But this new dance don cause casala
For this dance you no need shakara
Oya whine your hips like a this
Like a that
Like a this
Like a that
To your right
To the front
And your yansh to the back
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Ileke idi yen o..idi yen o
Esu bo ko yoko….esu bo ko yoko
Owa degbo so na….owa degbo so na
Bebe idi yen o
Oya fi jo gba owo
Oya si jo di owo
Oya dance to the sound
like a this, like a that
All the girls them dey dance galala
But this new dance don cause casala
For this dance you no need shakara
Oya whine your hips like a this
Like a that
Like a this
Like a that
To your right
To the front
And your yansh to the back
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
But this new dance don cause casala
Shizzi…shizzi
Oya whine your hips like a this
Like a this
To your hand o
And your yansh
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu
Skelewu…ske le le le le
Ske le le le le le…lelele lelele
Ske le le le le le…lelele lelele
Ske le le le le le…lelele lelele

Who is dis undecided ?
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Nobody: 3:41pm On Jul 30, 2014
Pls what is meaning of odolondolo and okidika.thanks
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by olasmith10(m): 3:43pm On Jul 30, 2014
ChiJenyfa: do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers else u'll face de consequences alone. God won't come to ur rescue.


what of dos guys that wants to win soul for Christ.. are they unequally yoked too.. if Yes, will God come to their rescue.. if no, what is d essence of evangelism...

sometimes, so many people misinterpret the Bible.. Go and read about Christ who we follow, his teaching encourages bringing people to Christ, and marriage isn't an exception.
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Nobody: 3:46pm On Jul 30, 2014
tylesh:

Who is dis undecided ?
is me,u are so sweet....hmmmm
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by nonjebose(m): 4:18pm On Jul 30, 2014
dagentility: I'm so happy because today is my birthday. Nairalanders show me some love. *winks*
HBD to you. Where is my cake* gets a plate quickly*
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by ebundash(f): 4:32pm On Jul 30, 2014
Awww...how sweet. But SERIOUSLY!!! My bro,u get issue. Again,isssssssssssssuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeee!!! 1stly,i'm sure u aint a christian.
2ndly,it shows u dnt blv in God @ all
3rdly,u'v shown us dt u r a nobody...o yea,as we say...LOOOOSSSEEERRRR!!! 4 not blvin in God.
4thly,u shld av just said u dnt like marriages. U jst wanna av sex with every girl dt accepts untill ur dick will look like an ugly mushroom due to all d diseases of d world!
Lastly,pls dnt bring ebola in2 ds awesome country cus of ur ignorance and GET AWAY 4rm hr and let sensible ppl post sensible news. Kapish!?!
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Ephramed(m): 4:56pm On Jul 30, 2014
Men wuna never see anything..

Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by defendedvictim(m): 5:05pm On Jul 30, 2014
date1816:

This is a Chapter from the Glorious Qura'n titled Al-Furqan (The Criterion), sent by Allah to his Noble Prophet Muhammad Peace and blessings be upon him, 1400 years ago to relay to mankind of all generations.
na d explanation b dat?
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by rezzy: 5:08pm On Jul 30, 2014
dagentility:
Thank yoouuu, may ur day be filled with joy also.

Thanks
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by defendedvictim(m): 5:19pm On Jul 30, 2014
zeepatoprick: I believe in d days of old life was far much simpler... To the fact dat u don't need a barrage of possessions in other to marry.... Dat is y u marry at a considerable young age.. basically jst as all ur hormones are acting up.. Logically is not like dat anymore....how can a man of 30 who is not married as a result of situations of d country... Av d tenacity to abstain 4rm sex.. It beats me cos @ dat age basically from 25 upwards...u are a full fledged adult.. Who all reproductive organs are fully functional to do what dey are mandated to do... It a usually a challenge... Wen it comes to d christian faith... I'm 27 still looking for a befitting Job.. So as to build my life and get married.... But der is one sin I struggle with everyday... And dat is d sin of fornication.. Brought abt by basic sexual urges... I feel dat if it was wen life was simpler in societal terms.. I would be married....already.. And I won't av to mind sexual intercourse at all..... Its really hard.. Dou I'm winning d battle.. But to tell u the truth it is exhausting....
I understand..buh u jst v to hold on a lil more. God z Nt tired of helping u; trust Him n work hard! more grace bro
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by date1816: 5:31pm On Jul 30, 2014
defendedvictim: na d explanation b dat?

YES.
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by defendedvictim(m): 5:35pm On Jul 30, 2014
ebundash: Awww...how sweet. But SERIOUSLY!!! My bro,u get issue. Again,isssssssssssssuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeee!!! 1stly,i'm sure u aint a christian.
2ndly,it shows u dnt blv in God @ all
3rdly,u'v shown us dt u r a nobody...o yea,as we say...LOOOOSSSEEERRRR!!! 4 not blvin in God.
4thly,u shld av just said u dnt like marriages. U jst wanna av sex with every girl dt accepts untill ur dick will look like an ugly mushroom due to all d diseases of d world!
Lastly,pls dnt bring ebola in2 ds awesome country cus of ur ignorance and GET AWAY 4rm hr and let sensible ppl post sensible news. Kapish!?!
who z dis one bashing
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by defendedvictim(m): 5:38pm On Jul 30, 2014
date1816:

YES.
well, I think u were asked to explain wat d write up z all abt n Nt d history or whr u got it Frm. I'm actually interested in knowing abt it too
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by VIPICO(m): 5:48pm On Jul 30, 2014
Great
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Odunharry(m): 5:57pm On Jul 30, 2014
ihedinobi2: Ever wish you had the answers to a test before you walked into the classroom? Maybe some of you did have the answers, but you better keep that to yourself. I took some really hard tests during my college tenure. An engineering curriculum will do that. And if you spent time in college you remember review days. The professor would walk into a class full of students (some of which I had never seen) and give some insights about the impending test. Miss review day, and it would be foolish to expect a passing grade. But it never failed. I would follow the guideline. I would study the handout. But on the day of the exam, the professor would put the exam on my desk…and there it was. A foreign formula or equation I had never seen. At least one I did not see on the study guide. Looking back, I realize something…the teacher did not intend for the study guide to be comprehensive. It was simply not possible to include everything from the required reading, class notes, and lectures. Such is the case with the church and marriage. I am grateful for the foundation the church gave me in regards to marriage. It was a good study guide. But there some things on the test I did not learn until marriage began. So, I am going to give you some answers to the test that some of you might not expect to see. I grew up in church. I spent most of my time with Christian people. I was told much about marriage. But these 7 truths about marriage I never heard in church.



1.) Sex is a gift from God. Explore It.

Make no mistake…God created sex. But through the years, God’s people have allowed Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight. I was never educated about sex…and I grew up in a Christian family. My framework for sex was built by my friends at school and the movies I watched. Big UH OH. I still struggle with enjoying the fullness of sex today because of the cloud of lies formed during my teenage years.

It is time for God’s people to take back the gift of sex. The lies surrounding it are ruining lives and ruining marriages. If you are married, let me challenge you to explore sex. Explore the fullness of it for the glory of God. Pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.

Parents…it is time to stop allowing Satan to define sex for our children. Educate them. Start early. The average child is exposed to pornography at age 11. Eleven!! And many parents wait until high school to have “the talk” with them. At that point, you are not building a foundation for sex, but trying to destroy a foundation Satan has already built.


Church leaders…I am convinced of this. The situation in our culture today is too dire to allow parents to override you here. Talk about sex. If parents refuse to educate their children, then you do it. Do not let Satan beat you to the punch. A false understanding of sex is destroying our young people. It is destroying our nation. It is destroying our world. And we are doing nothing! Sex is a beautiful gift created by God for a man and a woman that have vowed to spend the rest of their earthly lives with one another. If you are married…open this gift and enjoy the fullness of it.




2.) There is more than one person out there for you.

Soul mates are made…not born. I am not sure where this idea of soul mate originated, but it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than perfection. Every person on earth has imperfections. And the reality is we could spend our lives with more than one person.


Tiffani (my wife) is not perfect. There are nuances about her that frustrate me. But I have realized these frustrations are really a result of my imperfections. I love her so much. And I love her more everyday. I am committed to her.

I meet too many young people that are waiting for something that is not real. “I just couldn’t marry her because she smacked her food.” “He just wasn’t the one…he had this weird twitch when he smiled. But I know my soul mate is still out there. I just have to keep looking.”

Or you might have just missed him or her. What if God does not want you to find a perfect person, but find an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a person with flaws to expose yours?

What if God wants to teach you the value and life found in committing to one person forever, not the exhausting pursuit of searching your entire life to find the perfect person?

Soul mates are made…not born.




3.) The first year of marriage is hard…really hard.

What have we done? Are we going to make it? Why is this so hard? All questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage. We were arguing. We were fighting. It was really hard. And every day I thought something was wrong. I thought we had a bad marriage. Nobody warned me about the first year. But take this as a warning…the first year of marriage is difficult. If you are in the first year of marriage and thinking about giving up…congratulations. You are now…married!

But let me encourage you…do not give up. Everyone struggles. You are not unique. Persevere. There are better days coming. Your marriage will get better. Do not walk out. If you walk out now you disqualify yourself (and your spouse) from years of joy. Stick with it.



4.) A spouse does not complete you

I hate you Jerry Maguire. You have brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie. Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love her. Until then, I was always frustrated. I expected Tiffani to do something she was incapable of
doing.

If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your problems…buckle up. It will be a bumpy ride. Only God can fill those voids. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s job is to complete you.



5.) Marry somebody with similar goals, dreams, and passions.

Marry somebody that is a Christian, yes. But I would go even further. Marry somebody with similar passions and dreams. Now, I understand this breaks down at some point. People are not machines. No two people are going to want exactly the same thing in life. However, if you love foreign missions and your potential spouse hates going overseas, some tension will arise. Synergy is extremely important in a marriage. If your spouse has the same vision as you, they will understand your struggles and support your pursuits. They will encourage your walk. They will be empathetic. There is much power in two people living life with the same goals, dreams, and passions for life.



6.) Marriage is not for everybody.

Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 7. He tells the church at Corinth to remain in the situation they are in. If unmarried, then stay unmarried. If married, then stay married. He later says this… Even better? I never heard that in church. Maybe it is time for God’s people to accept the reality that God has not called everyone to marry. I have talked with young men and women that are so concerned with finding a spouse. It consumes them. And most of the pressure comes from…US. The church. Once a person reaches mid- twenties, we assume something is wrong with them if they have not married. They must have a terrible flaw.

“Bless your heart. You are almost 30 and not married? I know this must be hard!?”

Shame on us. I am worried many failed marriages are a result of people allowing the pressure of marriage to draw them into something God did not design them for. Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus without a spouse.



7.) The wedding day is a lie…don’t buy it.

I love weddings. I love officiating them. It is a rare moment where I get to make a divine proclamation that forever changes the status of two people. Powerful.

But in an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation. “Every girl lives for her wedding day.” It is all about the bride and groom. Everyone looks at them. Encourages them. Congratulates them.

Many couples have bought the lie of the wedding day…it is all about me. But marriage is at odds with this mindset. A successful wedding day is one where everyone serves you. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. The wedding day is a day where the spotlight is on you. Marriage has no spotlight. The wedding day is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously. Marriage is about putting the words into action. The wedding day is joyous and celebratory. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go through the storms.

Embrace your wedding day. Prepare for it. Celebrate it. But do not make the mistake of believing the lie. After your 20 minutes of fame, the spotlight is gone forever. It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing…you will see).


[url=frankmatthewpowell.com/truths-sex-marriage-never-learned-church/]Source[/url]
gbam
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Tinyemeka(m): 8:28pm On Jul 30, 2014
3. First year of marriage is hard... really hard.

Hmmm... Lord knows, I really thought there was something wrong somewhere.
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by ihedinobi2: 9:20pm On Jul 30, 2014
Chrisbenogor:
grin grin grin Sweeping statement, you and what you like is a huge part of deciding to spend the rest of your life with somebody.
Tell that to the wife that does not like to be flogged like an ogbanje geh because of sex. grin grin grin grin
A sweeping statement is a generalization. How is my statement a generalization?

Indeed, who you are determines who you should spend your life with. But deciding who to spend your life with is not the same as actually spending your life in a contracted relationship with them. Up to the point of the decision it's all about you and what you want out of life. Once you enter the contract, you forfeit your right to do whatever you please and have whatever you want where your partner is concerned. That is how marriage is defined. If you know any other definition, go on and tender it.


Yet another sweeping statement. Knowing and deciding whether or not we can live with a flaw is more important than trying to force people to live with things they cannot live with.
Tell that to the woman whose husbands serial flaw is thinking he is mike tyson, the only perfect thing would be her chopping igbati grin
Again, a sweeping statement is a generalization. How is my statement a generalization?

What in my statement forces people or suggests that people should be forced to live with any flaw at all?


Oh finally something better, but can you connect to number 1 and 2? Lets try this shall we,
The reason for marriage is not about you or what you like, accept the evander holyfield flaw of your partner because it is as perfect as your strength of chopping igbati grin grin grin
I'm afraid I don't understand the above at all.
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by ihedinobi2: 9:22pm On Jul 30, 2014
Boomark: Nice writeup but I disagree with the context of No 6.

10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: 12 For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”

Marriage is not for everyone in the sense that those who have the gift to remain unmarried will remain so and also those who have chosen not to marry should try and remain in their choice. If your spirit did not tell you so and you have not made that choice, then you are good to go.

The same chapter he quoted also said,
1Cor 7:2
But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

You should marry if you don't have the gift to overcome sexual immorality.

From verse 7-9, Paul understood that gifts are different, so he urged those who have his kind of gift to remain like him but those who don't should go and marry.

Those who are of age to marry should know that they are not condemned not to marry since they are not yet married. You need a little patient.

For my Ladies, if you see someone you like, don't bother about the outcome, approach him, tell him and leave. If he is interested he will come for you. Remember "don't bother about the outcome." or start thinking what he is going to think of you. Do play hard-to-get angry when he is coming, do it when you are already in.

This is better than waiting and dreaming. Dreams wount attract them. For those who want to marry in their church only, instead of in the Lord, no problem.
I fail to see how you disagree with the context of #6.
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by bukatyne(f): 9:43pm On Jul 30, 2014
ihedinobi2:

Thanks for endorsing me smiley But I only shared someone else's work which I found useful. I didn't author that work.

Actually, there are "soulmates", but, like he said, they are made not born. I would add that it isn't just one person that can be made into your soulmate. There are lots of people out there whose lives resonate with yours so if the first and second and third don't work out for some reason, you will find a fourth, a fifth, a sixth and so on. I personally would define a potential soulmate as someone who can share your life, your goals, dreams, hopes and ambitions. Only people who can enter your experience that easily can really spend every moment with you even when the chips are down because they "get it".

And the cool thing is that they are not hiding under rocks or in the bellies of fishes. They surround us because having the same desires and goals and passions as we do, they generally are in the same or similar pursuits with us and will undoubtedly cross our paths from time to time. That has been my experience, at least.

The mistake that popular culture makes is its concept of a soulmate. It is generally a sexüal concept. If someone triggers your hormones (or what people like to call emotions) in a particular way it means that they are your soulmate and every other thing will work itself out. Needless to say, that is wholly silly.

Second, if marriage were to itself be hard work, its purpose would be defeated, would it not? Imagine that a business partnership requires so much work to keep together, would any work be done by that partnership on anything else? Or if an army unit spends all of its resources trying to establish and maintain cohesion, is it possible to also carry out missions successfully? Marriage was meant to make the work of life easier for the people involved. So if the two spend the whole time trying to work out, they will accomplish very little together. It doesn't make sense that marriage should be hard. The first year can be because that is when we learn to adjust our expectations of each other and ourselves but after that we should have begun to work more and more fluidly.

I am so sorry that that happened to you. Many people are caught in that kind of trouble. Today's world is very badly confused.

I actually believe that anyone can be married if they want but people should be sure that they want to be.

@bolded, I quite agree

I do not understand the marriage is 'hardwork' concept

The OP is nice
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Bigsteveg(m): 10:16pm On Jul 30, 2014
tylesh:

Who is dis undecided ?

ME
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Bigsteveg(m): 10:16pm On Jul 30, 2014
egopersonified:

U no dey taya for this dance?
op, thank you for confirming number 2, hope the singles take note.

Noooo
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by ihedinobi2: 11:20pm On Jul 30, 2014
bukatyne:

@bolded, I quite agree

I do not understand the marriage is 'hardwork' concept

The OP is nice
Thank you.

Marriage is a selfless relationship. Selfishness ruins it. Human beings have real problems with selfishness. Thus marriage is pretty tough for us. But we aren't completely hopeless though.
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by Nobody: 5:56am On Jul 31, 2014
.
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by davidif: 5:58am On Jul 31, 2014
chidyhels: Marriage is for everybody.

Why are you contradicting scripture?
Re: "7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Be Told" by davidif: 6:02am On Jul 31, 2014
tandj: Do not be unequaly yoked with an unbeliever is what is keeping many people single today,especially ladies.

Pls go back and reread ur bible very well.
Don't pick one verse like most of us do and give it a vague interpretation.

Pastors will tell ladies don't marry outside ur church,rather bring him to us.
Catholics will tell their gals don't marry non catholics. Infact,catholics case is the worst. Ur mum whom happened to be a christian mother(catholics know what I mean)is excommunicated from receiving holy communion and membership of christian mothers association(d inside caucaus of CWO). And since they value their membership more than their daugher's happiness, they will compel their daughters not to marry outside catholic church.
That's why we have so many of them littered everywhere.
Anglican, infact all d churches are very guilty of this.

So my question is, is marrying a christian outside ur church violating that so called verse"do not be .............

I pity gals that have fallen victim of this.
A man can afford to marry at 50yrs. So gals, go figure.

Wow! So this abuse really takes place in the church? Na wa o.

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