After being with her all evening, the man couldn't stand another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone an hour into the evening so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim statement and said, "I have some bad news. My grand- father has just died."

"Thank God," his date said. "If yours hadn't, mine would've had to."

BEARDED MAN

A married man was visiting his mistress when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she'd kill me!"

"Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice.

"Oh, really, I can't," he replies. "My wife loves this beard!" The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in.

That night, James crawls into bed with his wife while she's sleeping.

The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies, "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon."

HAIRY ARMPIT

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.

She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

YOUNG GOLFER

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not wanting to be rude, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.

Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree." With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."

EX- HUSBAND

This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.

The husband asks, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"

"Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."

"That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."

the first one is not so cool but hahahahahahahahahahaha to 2nd and 3rd and 4th

thanks bro. have a smashing day

good mornin 2 yu

hahaha

hehehe

hohoho, cant wait for lunch.

Thank you my man

this ur Good Morning thread, he get as he be o

let it be a good afternoon for you then.

nice jokes ituen, send us more

brilliant boiz

atleast we finish nursery school na.

am very proud u did

so am i

abegi wetin

good morning Ituen

gudmorn tyty

princesa:

gudmorn tyty

soory i opened my 'beautiful set of white teeth encased in a sexy luscious lip that men are willing to die for' to say good morning to you


you are not worth it

you want a taste

good midnite house

smashing jokes iteun , keep em rowln in, now am convinced ur funny bone is still intact.

but i thought he had a bone removal sugery

princesa:

you want a taste

Log out, let have fun

@Clem,

Thanks yo

Ituen, those are some hot jokes