Earlier this year I brought an issue here concerning my gf and her decision to quit our rElationship for another guy.
Though the attack on Nairaland wiped my account and the topic off the radar but I wish to update this room on the happenings and for this to serve as a lesson to every body especially our female folk.
our relationship would ve being 2yrs,8months . for the benefit of all, lemme give an insight on what happened. She's from a not well to do family. I helped her got admission into the university. I do send her money while in school. I took care of her hair and other financial requirements though I didn't spend extravagantly, I was articulate and careful. we had a plan that we will marry at a certain level in her academic life so that she will not lose focus. We do have problems and we resolved them without anyone knowledge. My family knew abt our relationship. friends were all waiting for our IV. late February, we had issues and I ignored her 2days. when I called her for us to hang out after d days work, she broke d news that she was no more interested. I thought it was a joke, days passed n she started behaving like non gf. I involved my friends to talk to her, she refused. I involved her spiritual director, she refused me, I involved my family via my 2 sisters but she was adamant again. I got to know she was seeing some other guy. I put up a fight to get her back, d more I fought, d more wosrt it became. I was devastated. I became thin. couldn't eat or sleep. couldn't concentrate on my job. my family rallied around me and passed through that pains. she had her trad wedding. Now, she is calling me to forgive her. she has been disturbing my phone with calls. I've not taken her calls since I let her go. She has resorted to sms n whatsapp msg begging me to forgive her. that she has made mistake.
my advice to our ladies. all that glitter re not good. what you see on nollywood re not real especially d part Ramsey noah, emeka ike etc acts the lover boy. watch nollywood as entertainment. I give this advice cos she complained that I don't act like guys do on movies. the other guy call her every minute, hang out with her. he made her feel on top of the world. he deceived her with sweet mouth. told her what he has achieved without help, which re all lies. I told her that a guy can act that way to get inbetween her legs or get what he wants then he will start be his real self. I was very real with her. didnt hide any thing from her. was interested in her future and I denied myself d pleasure of going out every Sunday but she saw it then that I'm anti social.

our ladies, be wise. I'm sorry for the long story, just pick the lessons and forgive my errors typing.

U re ryt bro, not all that glitter are gold.

I didnt get the bit where you said that she has done her traditional wedding but still contacts you asking for forgiveness. What does she want from you?
My advise is to nip it in the bud. Stop ignoring her calls. Cos she wont stop. Pick up her call ONCE and sternly tell her its over and to stop contacting you.


"does not behave like men in the movies" . . . . . .LOL Nollywood has a lot to answer for.
The same Nollywoood where everyone drives a jeep and lives in a duplex How real is that?

In the mean time in your quiet time. Look inward. She may have had a few other reasons. No one is perfect, but broken relationships no matter how they broke are an oppourtunity to look at ourselves again

Wish you all the best for the future.

So your girlfriend broke up with you because you were not like the men in Nollywood movies?

You must have felt deeply betrayed sorry about that. I guess she wanted to see what was out there now you she knows better.

LWKMD!!! Ramsey Noah and Emeka Ike you people have succeded I'm making our girls believe in Love in Tokyo. Alwayz having a happy ending. Chaiiii!!! Diaris God oooo... All these fake love you people are sharing in Nollywood, diaris God oo...

Bros abeg tell the babe 'ya gbara ogwu ya nuo'. If she know wia she baf make she go there carry her wrapper.

Shikena!

chaircover: I didnt get the bit where you said that she has done her traditional wedding but still contacts you asking for forgiveness. What does she want from you?
My advise is to nip it in the bud. Stop ignoring her calls. Cos she wont stop. Pick up her call ONCE and sternly tell her its over and to stop contacting you.


"does not behave like men in the movies" . . . . . .LOL Nollywood has a lot to answer for.
The same Nollywoood where everyone drives a jeep and lives in a duplex How real is that?

In the mean time in your quiet time. Look inward. She may have had a few other reasons. No one is perfect, but broken relationships no matter how they broke are an oppourtunity to look at ourselves again

Wish you all the best for the future.

I'm not perfect, I have my issues too . she wants to quit the marriage I guess dt. I came here to let our ladies to be more careful. the devil u know its d beta than angel u don't know.

Well, i think you should take a step back and access yourself.

From all you said, you, my Guy needs to appologise to your girl just as she has done the same to you.
Yes, she left you and went for another man, but have u found out why?..... From all you said, you were more intrested in the "future" you imagined, that you forgot the present. Maybe, at some point you yourself dulled the whole relationship, you can't blame a human (your girl) for wanting more...
#ma_opinion

Life goes on. You should know it's a 50/50 thing. Until you sign the papers she's just still out there and you both could be grabbed by anyone.

Please stop hurting and move on. She's a forgone issue and i guess her eyes were wide open before she did the traditional wedding. She's made a choice. She should stick to it.

001ng:
I'm not perfect, I have my issues too . she wants to quit the marriage I guess dt. I came here to let our ladies to be more careful. the devil u know its d beta than angel u don't know.

A marriage of a few months
Please this is the more reason why you should nip it in the bud ASAP
What if her hubby starts seeing all these outgoing calls/messages in her phone
Next time she calls you know what to tell her.

As for your advise, some will hear & some wont. These kinds of things have been happening for years but some gullible & greedy ones will still fall into the net.

krazydave: Well, i think you should take a step back and access yourself.

From all you said, you, my Guy needs to appologise to your girl just as she has done the same to you.
Yes, she left you and went for another man, but have u found out why?..... From all you said, you were more intrested in the "future" you imagined, that you forgot the present. Maybe, at some point you yourself dulled the whole relationship, you can't blame a human (your girl) for wanting more...
#ma_opinion

what's care and love? is it taking u to club, eateries, sightings or providing for ur future through education and assistance? I'm into a relationship now, she so much appreciate me that she adores my person. I'm not perfect but I don't lose focus on what I want in life and in my relationship. from ur view, I should ve been taking her to clubs,hotels etc to make it fun and she will be a no body morrow.
I'm not regretting my actions then, thats my standard and I can't go below that with any lady.

001ng:
what's care and love? is it taking u to club, eateries, sightings or providing for ur future through education and assistance? I'm into a relationship now, she so much appreciate me that she adores my person. I'm not perfect but I don't lose focus on what I want in life and in my relationship. from ur view, I should ve been taking her to clubs,hotels etc to make it fun and she will be a no body morrow.
I'm not regretting my actions then, thats my standard and I can't go below that with any lady.

What this lady did was bad but That's past Oga. However you need to understand ladies love attention and all those tiny bit of things. It's what they actually call love. Lol. That's how MANY of them are wired.

This one is past but just for the future. Loosen up a bit. Life is too short to be strong faced always. Doesn't have to be expensive and daily.. Once in a month or as it fits your schedule would do.

Just a late evening stroll, visit a friend, small outing under a tree and sit and count the number of cars passing(lacasera and gala won't cost more than N200) or you may want to indulge Nairalanders fav. Popcorn and pepsi. Lol. Just loosen up for goodness sake.


You would need more of those to spice up your married life. Good luck

Tell the girl in a stern and firm voice not to call you or text you again.

Leave the lesson and face the danger lying in your backyard. You need to stop the girl, its the most important now.

onegig: What this lady did was bad but That's past Oga. However you need to understand ladies love attention and all those tiny bit of things. It's what they actually call love. Lol. That's how MANY of them are wired.

This one is past but just for the future. Loosen up a bit. Life is too short to be strong faced always. Doesn't have to be expensive and daily.. Once in a month or as it fits your schedule would do.

Just a late evening stroll, visit a friend, small outing under a tree and sit and count the number of cars passing(lacasera and gala won't cost more than N200) or you may want to indulge Nairalanders fav. Popcorn and pepsi. Lol. Just loosen up for goodness sake.


You would need more of those to spice up your married life. Good luck

thanks for ur contributions. but in all sincerity, I did the little u mentioned and even went far ahead of wat u called little. but she wanted it big. she wanted me to chat her every minute and leave my job. she wanted me to call her every seconds where she will be walking n taking calls. is that rationale?

Forget about her past actions now. Do the needful and concentrate on your tomorrow.

She is now in your past.

001ng:
I'm not perfect, I have my issues too . she wants to quit the marriage I guess dt. I came here to let our ladies to be more careful. the devil u know its d beta than angel u don't know.

how did you come to the conclusion that she wants out?? That she's seeking for your forgiveness doesn't translate to her marriage going bad, could be her conscience hurting her...

Too late an advice. Move on. Seems you haven't moved on. People will continue to fall in this. Bad people and good people will continue to exist whether you advise from now until eternity.

I'm sure you are not here to advise but to kind of make your self feel good she came begging.

Move on before you land yourself in another wahala from her. Cut off your communication with her and let her know you have moved on. Stop hanging on the past. You deserve better.

op am just FÜCKING happy for you
Once again another FÜCKING lesson to learn

MarvellousGod: how did you come to the conclusion that she wants out?? That she's seeking for your forgiveness doesn't translate to her marriage going bad, could be her conscience hurting her...

from her sms to me, she wants out. Her spiritual director who advised her not to make d mistake she's facing now,called me and informed me abt the marriage going down.
I ve moved on with my life. I came here not to rejoice at her woes but to caution our young ladies to be more careful.

001ng:
from her sms to me, she wants out. Her spiritual director who advised her not to make d mistake she's facing now,called me and informed me abt the marriage going down.
I ve moved on with my life. I came here not to rejoice at her woes but to caution our young ladies to be more careful.

chaiii, it's well...

Only if ladies will listen and look beyond money...

a beg name which one be spiritual director again!

hian!

meanwhile you dey answer anoda man I'm wife call!

abi your director no warn you!

It seems everybody but you can learn from the situation. Your standard is good but you can still make room to accomodate the other person's desire. Kind of think had you indulge her a little she would have taught twice before leaping. She has admitted making mistake so might learn from the experience but you think you were faultless all through and might not learn anything like chaircover suggested. Prove me wrong by not coming with your defensive mode.

Nigerians, especially women take their decisions mainly on d advice of others. It's either a friend or a pastor. When u take decisions yourself, u don't begin regretting unnecessarily. What is a young lady doing with a 'spiritual director', whatever that means.
Move on bro. Pick the call, forgive her or whatever but whatever you do, don't go back or even give room for friendship. It isn't worth it.

Spiritual director? Na music director?

Well ladies learn from experience. That is the way they function.
Haven't you realized from ages past that every 18 year old girl wants to wait till wedding night. They say I will never ever do it. It's for my husband alone. All the girls here can testify. Who among them didn't say it? But lo and behold at 21, the little apartment that God gave them has turned into duplexes and even Babangidas mansion with over one hundred rooms.

It is well.
I get calls from my married friends that are girls too. Few marriages nowadays are really sweet. Most are just enduring. Married folks here would testify.
Why is this so? Everybody don spoil.

Op, thank you for this testimony, let me look for that guy complaining of his gf so he can come read your story.
Ehee, cephas14, cephas14, cephas14, how many times did I call you? Pls, forget that girl, she would be the one to come begging, but dont wait for her oh, becos there are girls who would cherish you more than gold out there. Be blessed.

teeo: Am happy for you joor, where is the celebration taking place. Me Na two bottles I want.
Enjoy your life, no woman is worth dying for. Highest one week the pain go die.

One week ke! Mine lasted 3 months and YES, No woman is worth dying for.

OP, she's regretting what? You were not explicit enough. That she's calling to apologize is not to conclude that she's regretting breaking up with you. You can determine that if you only you gave her a chance to explain which you may also learn from in case of future relationships.
Quit feeling like a "stud" and be matured enoughto respond to her calls/sms.

001ng: Earlier this year I brought an issue here concerning my gf and her decision to quit our rElationship for another guy.
Though the attack on Nairaland wiped my account and the topic off the radar but I wish to update this room on the happenings and for this to serve as a lesson to every body especially our female folk.
our relationship would ve being 2yrs,8months . for the benefit of all, lemme give an insight on what happened. She's from a not well to do family. I helped her got admission into the university. I do send her money while in school. I took care of her hair and other financial requirements though I didn't spend extravagantly, I was articulate and careful. we had a plan that we will marry at a certain level in her academic life so that she will not lose focus. We do have problems and we resolved them without anyone knowledge. My family knew abt our relationship. friends were all waiting for our IV. late February, we had issues and I ignored her 2days. when I called her for us to hang out after d days work, she broke d news that she was no more interested. I thought it was a joke, days passed n she started behaving like non gf. I involved my friends to talk to her, she refused. I involved her spiritual director, she refused me, I involved my family via my 2 sisters but she was adamant again. I got to know she was seeing some other guy. I put up a fight to get her back, d more I fought, d more wosrt it became. I was devastated. I became thin. couldn't eat or sleep. couldn't concentrate on my job. my family rallied around me and passed through that pains. she had her trad wedding. Now, she is calling me to forgive her. she has been disturbing my phone with calls. I've not taken her calls since I let her go. She has resorted to sms n whatsapp msg begging me to forgive her. that she has made mistake.
my advice to our ladies. all that glitter re not good. what you see on nollywood re not real especially d part Ramsey noah, emeka ike etc acts the lover boy. watch nollywood as entertainment. I give this advice cos she complained that I don't act like guys do on movies. the other guy call her every minute, hang out with her. he made her feel on top of the world. he deceived her with sweet mouth. told her what he has achieved without help, which re all lies. I told her that a guy can act that way to get inbetween her legs or get what he wants then he will start be his real self. I was very real with her. didnt hide any thing from her. was interested in her future and I denied myself d pleasure of going out every Sunday but she saw it then that I'm anti social.

our ladies, be wise. I'm sorry for the long story, just pick the lessons and forgive my errors typing.

Sounds to me that you didn't give her any breathing space and your expectations of her were too high.

I'm assuming when you started funding her education, she was in her late teens, right? Just because you funded her through school was no guarantee that she had to marry you come what may. She probably desperately wanted her education and even though she felt boxed into that situation with no other options, she decided to play along with you, just till she graduated and could be independent of you. It's a common story that's been retold over and over again.

Anyway, what's happened has happened. It's in the past. What you need to do is to let go. She probably isn't that bad as a person, hence her calling you up on the phone and asking for your forgiveness.

Remember the saying: To err is human but to forgive is divine? Find a place in your heart to forgive her and focus on your new relationship. Pick up her call and tell her you forgive her. However, you're in a new relationship and have moved on. Suggest to her that she should do the same and focus squarely on her relatively new marriage.

Take heart and all the best, man.

OP, listen to whatever she has to say. Forgive her like evryone said. Let her knw u're doing gud and wish her well. Biko dont welcome personal issues from her.

isokey: OP, listen to whatever she has to say. Forgive her like evryone said. Let her knw u're doing gud and wish her well. Biko dont welcome personal issues from her.

personal issues re wat I'm trying to avoid by not taking her calls, cos definitely she Will want to get closer. we went very far during our tym together, any slight closeness might flare up d emotions which is very bad to do Another man's wife.

Yes, it'll be pretty difficult if not impossible having flings with her, thats why u have to define it, she'll appreciate n respect u even more. Let her know once more that u think Long terms. But except u want her back or u dont mind sleeping with her.