In a piece titled Singleton ,
comedian Alibaba expressed his views on the
challenges single mothers in Nigeria face and how
they can overcome these challenges.
Read the article below:
Every now and then, I meet and get messages,
from ladies, who either lost their jobs, widowed,
pregnant and no job, the guy who impregnated
them absconded, or is around but doesn’t give a
hoot, or working but can’t meet the financial
demands of raising kids on their own, or the guy
agreed to having the babies and to support with
their upkeep… But things happened and he
couldn’t come through with the promised
support.Single mothers are increasing in numbers
consequent on one or two of the reasons
mentioned above. And this always makes me ask,
is it not possible to avoid being caught up in
some of these tough situations? I know its
impossible to know if you will be a widow and left
with 2 or 3 kids to raise by yourself, as a mother.
But when it happens, what is the solution?
Some ladies just want to have kids, because they
attended a birthday party and they saw Kemi with
her 2 lovely kids. They also know Kemi has no
visible source of income. Wake up!!!!! Kemi has
sources of income. Ruff n Tumble DOESNT dash
kids clothes weekly… To be honest, you don’t
want to know what she does to make those kids
look desirable enough to make you want to have
yours. Maybe Kemi has a job. Maybe she has a
rich husband. Or maybe she has a loaded
boyfriend. Saved up wealth. She could be the
“saving grace” of a guy who has been looking for
a child. She may have rich parents. She could be
a surrogate mum. Who bore the kids and is
caring for the kids for the true parents…. Maybe,
just maybe…
But, hey, nobody can stop you from wanting to
have your own child or children. You ought to.
And if they don’t come naturally, adopt. There is
no issue with that. Only problem is, WHAT HAVE
YOU DONE TO PREPARE YOU FOR THE CHILD OR
CHILDREN YOU PLAN TO BRING INTO THE
WORLD? What are your plans towards taking care
of them as they grow… Knowing that it cost more
to bring a child up now than it did when our
parents had us. That is not to say it was any
easy on our parents. But hey, kids’ fees these
days for a single school term, is a total of
alllllllllllllll our primary up to university fees, plus
allowances.
So lets say your bobo agrees to you getting
pregnant. And you got pregnant. And he bails on
you. What will you do? Lets even suppose you
have a job. What will you do when you resume
after your maternity leave… Good Nannies cost a
lot. Bad nannies even cost more. Minimum
subscription for a nanny now is about 25k… That
DOESNT include her upkeep and consumables…
Abi she no go dey chop for the house?
Okay… Before you guys begin to say WHATS ali
baba’s own sef… Let me just say, I get whatsapp,
twitter, Facebook and text messages from single
ladies who are pregnant or have kids, but do not
know what to do to take care of themselves, not
to mention the kid or kids they have… Because of
some of the reasons I mentioned in my first
paragraph. I have helped when I could and
advised when it’s advice they want. But, with the
access and opportunities social media has opened
up, these request for assistance based on the
challenges of raising kids by single mothers, have
become a regular feature in my inbox, DM,
whatsapp and even one on one.
So I ask again, what can single ladies do, that
will prepare them for when the kids come and
there is no bobo, sugar daddy, father, husband or
the equivalent… Or do to support what she earns
even when there is such a person who is a
significant other?
DONT get me wrong o… There are ladies who can
hold their own and even still put the guy who they
are with on a monthly allowance. They are not
“among of” what I am about here. So zip it.
I know someone will think I have nothing to do,
that’s why I am writing this… But trust me. There
is an epidemic out there. It’s not EBOLA but
single ladies are going through this daily. And
it’s how to be a single mum and still hold your
head high in the face of school fees, house rent,
parental demands, sibling responsibilities, looking
good, career pursuit, peace of mind, remain sexy
and responsible,…
You may call me whatever… But soon you will be
wondering why abandoned children are flooding
orphanage homes..


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