bossmini84: I had sex with our house help wen I was eight she was so darn beautiful her name was favor. Then with the neighbors house help. Pretty igbo gal She always called me when no one was around buh I noticed she was neva satisfied. Of course u know na my jhonny was still little. Which did not make me enjoy d exercise. Now they call it child molestation. Chai I want to be molested ova nd ova.

Mind was always in the bush. When mom leave for work, this fully matured girl in our neighborhood will come and carry me into the bush and ...you know the rest.

skillzbae: hmmmmm. One day i was nt feeling too well, so my sis took me to the hospital(Im so scared of injection,til date). D moment i saw d doc wit syringe n needle, i dashd out of his office nd started runnning, d doc n my sis were running after me, den i saw a man wit blue uniform, going into a rum holding bucket,(@ d extreme end of d hospital), i pushed the man inside d rum nd ran into d rum, i heard d doc tel my sis dat "dnt worry,she wil soon b out", i shouted @ him dat im nt coming out, i locked d door nd threw d key away smwhr inside d rum. I turned back,lo nd behold, i ws standing inside d mourtuary,wit lots of bodies, oh gawwwwd,i started crying, screaming, biting nd kicking d man to open d door for me, d man ws so confused, looking for d key inbtw d bodies i ran bak to d doc immediately d door ws opend nd ws begging him to give me fifty injections,so dat i can forget d xperience

gosh! Dats a hell of an experience,way too horrifying dan d injection u were running from.

UjSizzle:
I ate my bread with toothpaste; lots of toothpaste


I'm doing good. Trust you are too

buhahahahaha that's real crazy lol.. Wat was u thinking?

Lmao, I dey ok.. I use to lick maclean toothpaste wen moma is trna brush my teeth then.. Na slap she dey tek put me for manual reset

I remember when we had a toy snake at night we would drop it in d middle of d road come see as old mama dey run like Lamborghini

seagullbabz:


Lol...now I am a good boy o

I hope so o

experimentist: buhahahahaha that's real crazy lol.. Wat was u thinking?

Lmao, I dey ok.. I use to lick maclean toothpaste wen moma is trna brush my teeth then.. Na slap she dey tek put me for manual reset

I don't know. Flourish gel toothpaste...followed my big bro around like a shadow. We did odd things and got punished together. We'd add cubes of sugar to a cup of water and call it flavored water


Kids still swallow toothpaste a lot. You say 'spit' and show them how to spit. They swallow and then make the spitting noise

I locked toothpaste so much that my folks began rationing the paste for us. Mine was the size of a full stop
On the plus side, today I'm very good at conserving toothpaste

Eddlad: Well here goes..

I used to take up flash light to the top of our house and throw it to the sky.......hoping to see what was behind all that darkness.

This is a good idea for a cartoon scene

Had a good laugh dis evening,going tru most posts here,been trying hard to remember a fragment of ma childhood,sadly nfn popped out,ts like dat part of me has been erased cuz i was practicaly living in solitary backden,no frnds,less or no adventures atall,mum always told me bout my elder bro,how mischievous he was wen he was growing up,he'd pour hot tea on himself,exchange bibles in church wen d final prayer is being said n everyone is standing,he was so troublesome he had a name tag around his neck,dads name,his,n our address,d list goes on.......too bad i cudnt remember any of mine but childhood was fun,cuz i had no worries.

I don't know what gave me the gut that I could beat my elder ones o especially my immediate elder brother, I will be rude to them and stand to fight them, something I don't know kept assurring me that I'm the strongest, and they will beat me until my mum or dad comes to my rescue, I gave up that gut when my brother carry me show God and and use my head hit ground, I just thank God my neck didn't break

Eddlad: Well here goes..

I used to take up flash light to the top of our house and throw it to the sky.......hoping to see what was behind all that darkness.

serious CURIOUSITY! ...thank God you have survived to tell the story.

Abduletudaye: Kai..I love this thread! There was reconstruction happening in my house so I picked up a chisel and chiseled my knee by accident and my mumu self could only stand up and start jogging up and down thinking blood wouldn't come out..guess what? Blood oozed out like say I wan donate. .. Mama came home to treat and to beat me..

Thanks. A lot of crazy things happen when we were kids. Time for retrospect.

parrotibaba: as in eh ,its kinda frustrating ,even d tiniest of details will be duly reported n there u will be,staring to d ground ,expecting d worst whilst she walks away with a packet of biscuits ...but nw n ma bros ,we d discipline her when we had d chance ...I even reported her my self when she stole 50bucks from my mum's purse den,felt like a king but gotten nothing as a reward

Loooooool... Pay back is a b?tch... Loool

The grasshoppers in my school was happy that I grew up, back then I used to remove my school uniform and hunt for grasshopper with it. Back when we play we have mummy and daddy and we cook sand.

Eddy2010: I Liked Palm Fruits Then eeeeeeeee! To such extent that one day, when I was 5 yrs, Mama bought some for the soup of the day, kept inside store. Boy o Boy snicked out, inside Store gbam. lock up everywhere, started dealing with them as if tomorrow no deh.. My people searched and searched for Boy o Boy like Chibok Girls, no way. For 30 minutes. Until they force kitchen door open. The kind shout way me I hear for ma head that day prompted me to proclaim with every audacity, "Akwu(Palm Fruit) is a Mother". Chaiiiiiiii... Meeennnnh! For that whole year, that was my new name!

Kai! I no fit laugh! *rolling on my bed, hitting my head on d pillow*
Drops of tears are still rolling down my cheek as I type. Oboy ur own too funny. "Akwu is a Mother"

mine was telling my mom anything my brothers did in her absent, and the minute she leaves the house I always get by them, but that never stopped me from talking about, then one I was taunted by them and their friends, was called radio without battery, telephone wire, abc, etc, I cried and promised to stop gossiping, few months later my elder bro did smfin, my grandma told my mom, she asked my immediate elder bro, he said he didn't know, then she called me and said she trusts me to tell her the truth, I had to think twice, and told her I didn't knw o, after that day I became a sealed lip girl oo.

noah24: Had sleepless nites afta watchin wiliwili...

So I'm not alone on that? Refused to go to my room after watching one Nigerian movie like that (sisters on the run). And I kept imagining snakes crawling round my bed after watching that superstory (the grass cutter)...it got so bad that I had to run from the room to my parents'

noah24: Had sleepless nites afta watchin wiliwili...

So I'm not alone on that? Refused to go to my room after watching one Nigerian movie like that (sisters on the run). And I kept imagining snakes crawling round my bed after watching that superstory (the grass cutter)...it got so bad that I had to run from my room to my parents'

virtuousMe: I don't know what gave me the gut that I could beat my elder ones o especially my immediate elder brother, I will be rude to them and stand to fight them, something I don't know kept assurring me that I'm the strongest, and they will beat me until my mum or dad comes to my rescue, I gave up that gut when my brother carry me show God and and use my head hit ground, I just thank God my neck didn't break

This got me cracking

due to d way i comsume naw, my mum do tell me wen was a kid i dont eat and afta sum tym i started eatin food that re much and biga than my age and any visitor then cant help but to comment on me then and named me 'PARIOLODO' dia iz dz day dat my uncle visited us, my mum's yunga bro, and he started teasin me cos its bn long he saw i guess those days wen i dont eat much, and its tym for dinner they brought my food as i always sing any tym d food is almost done, so my mum brought my food and my uncle asks will he be able to level dz mountain of amala, my mum said ha, wait and see, i trust my boi he will finish it... Afta d whole family had finished eating, i ate and ate and the evil food keeps multiplyin and i started crying, the whole family was lyk wats wrong with u, afta so much question i managed to explain to them dat, wen i ate and ate and d food refuse to finish why wont i cry... They started laughing at the little me.

Elypsis: This thread draws me bck reminiscing when I was a toddler.....my frnd and I,nuffn delights us more other than deflating my dad's car tires.....Meeeeehn the sound thrills us wella....I no wan remember the day dem catch us sha.....its was "world's beating day"naso I go call am

This one funny die. I don laugh tire...

McWhillion:
Reminds me of a day I tied that black tiny rubber used in plaiting hair to my sister's baby walker and tied the loose end to my bicycle. I was just 4 then. We lived upstairs then and we were at the balcony.
I put her in the front and I was using my bicycle to push her from the back, all of a sudden she began somersaulting down the stairs, I didn't know she was that close to the stairs. How it happened I don't know but she landed uprightly as if someone brought her down the stairs on purpose, she was not hurt and funny enough she wasn't crying. I was just there on my bicycle looking down at her, like a fool!
Things that kids do!

Honestly I can only imagine the folly look you had at her. Hilarious.

Not me though, but a neigbour's son who just love to cry for no reason. If they beg him he won't listen to anyone until he is satisfied crying. On this fateful day, he cried and cried no one attended to him, later he stared begging please tell me to sorry.

hmmmmm,it ws during long vac., my mum sent me to help her buy a crate of minerals,i ws 12. I hit my feet on a stone and bottles came crashing, 14 broke outta 24 come see as i fall for crowded street dey roll for ground "yeee e gba mi o,haa mummy a lu mi pa leni ooo,mi o lo 'le wa mo o" (pls hlp me,my mum will beat me to death,i'm nt goin home again). I refused to stand up till my crate ws filled with new bottles,pple on d street had to contribute coke bottles dat day o,twas nt funny.
I tld mum wen i got home,all she did was laff @ me. Ech time i remeba dat scene i jst laff @ mysef.

UjSizzle:
I don't know. Flourish gel toothpaste...followed my big bro around like a shadow. We did odd things and got punished together. We'd add cubes of sugar to a cup of water and call it flavored water


Kids still swallow toothpaste a lot. You say 'spit' and show them how to spit. They swallow and then make the spitting noise

I locked toothpaste so much that my folks began rationing the paste for us. Mine was the size of a full stop
On the plus side, today I'm very good at conserving toothpaste

lmao!

How does it taste with bread?

rapmike: Very Hilarious.......



I remember hating bathing in cold weather( Immediately after early morning rain in school), It was force that was used to make me bath. The dislike for it was so strong that I hate it up til now. ( As in, i struggle to bath during cold weather.)

Then I hated injections.... There was a day that they wanted to give injection to every kid in the house( Immunization I think), I ran to my room and locked it. Then they begged me with cake, I still refused to open the door. They had to lie that the Immunization people have left and immediately I opened the door, Some strong hands dragged my poor self and held me tight to make sure I struggle as little as possible as they gave me injection. I remember how I cried, the pain of it! They sha give me cake...lol

You were raped lol

;

softsparkyy: I didn't do any, my younger brother dealt with me then . That guys head is very big that anytime we had a fight the guy go just headbutt me.

Hahahahahahahaha!

we shall see d last person to comment on this trend.... So hilarious, those comedians shud visit dz trend for more jokes...

pussypounder: I usually disturb our neighbor pressing there bell and running away, till it got faulty and i pressed it and it shocked me, i decided that not only me was going to get the electric shock so i called my short friend to press the bell, he was not able to reach it so i carried him and it shocked the both of us

I laff sotey I fall 4 chair.... Hahahahahahahahaha

Patiently awaiting the time when we'll all be in heaven laughing at the things we couldn't do when we were human

stealing meat from mums pot

Ifecoded: we shall see d last person to comment on this trend.... So hilarious, those comedians shud visit dz trend for more jokes...

Really hilarious. Please they should visit oo. Am really looking forward to seeing more.