“Police is your friend,” an officer would proudly say.

“Go tell that to the marines,” is the likely reply he would get anywhere outside a
police station.

We are now outside a station, specifically at Maryland junction, where the men-in-
black/blue/camouflage/orange are going about their ‘duties’.

Some are controlling traffic but our ‘specimen’ for experiment are those flagging
down vehicles and asking for their particulars and other ‘things’ of interest.

We spot a rather cheerful one in their midst and conclude he would be our ideal Man
Friday – the one to tell us the reason for the seeming animosity between the police
and the policed. We are right.

Note: We narrowed our ‘research topic’ to altercation during ‘stop and search’ for ease
of…writing!

So, here are the six things you do that annoy a police officer on ‘stop and search’.

1. NO ‘HELLO’ OR ‘HI’

If we stop you for routine check while driving or walking, we don’t like you calling a
so-called superior officer of ours on the phone. The worst part is handing us the
phone to continue a conversation we didn’t initiate. Imagine this awkward chat:

So-called Superior Officer: Yes, who are you please?

Me: Who are you too, please SIR?

SSO: It seems you want to lose your job. Do you know who you are talking with?

Me: I don’t know; that’s why I’m asking SIR

SSO: The person you are harassing…

Me: (cuts in) Harassing? I’m just doing my job…

SSO: (cuts in) Which job? The job you are about losing? My friend, will you release
him immediately before I call Alausa?

Me: Ok sir. Ok sir.

I hand over the phone as well as your incomplete papers. You smile but I know it
deserves a punch in return. Who am I to do that in broad daylight? I mark your face
and car, though.

2. USE, MISUSE, AND ABUSE OF ‘ESPRIT DE CORPS’

You, a bloody civilian, just blurt out those words ‘Esprit de Corp’ once we flag you
down. You are not a police officer. Neither are you in the navy, army, or air force.

You are not even in the civil defence or boys scout. Perhaps I could forgive you if
you are a staff of LASTMA!

“Esprit de Corps, Esprit de Corps,” you look so learned and educated yet you don’t
know the meaning of the words.

Let me educate you.

When we say those words, we are referring to the common spirit existing among
members of a group that inspires enthusiasm, devotion, and strong regard for the
honour of the group. It’s like feelings of loyalty, enthusiasm, and devotion to a
group among people who are members of the group.

You and I are not in the same category, sorry, group.

3. GALLANT MOPOL AND OTHER FUNNY BANNERS AND
STICKERS

Related to the point above are the funny banners and stickers you hang on your
front mirror and windscreen.

Gallant Mopol! Navy! Army! They announce.

Sometimes, we are magnanimous enough and listen to your explanation that the
vehicle actually belongs to your father’s uncle’s son in the army, but most times,
you allow your ‘Gallant Mopol’ to intoxicate you with Dutch courage and challenge
our ‘audacity to stop’ you.

That’s when we remind you that you are a bloody civilian after all!

4. ‘DON’T YOU KNOW I AM A LAWYER’ AND OTHERS WHO KNOW
THEIR RIGHTS

“Don’t you know I’m a lawyer? I know my rights and if you infringe on my rights, I’ll
sue you. Sue the IG; sue the federal government.”

We have no problem with you being a lawyer or knowing your rights as a citizen of
the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

In fact, we love relating to learned gentlemen and women who have a copy of the
1999 Constitution resting above their dashboard. It shows you read and we know
readers are leaders.

What we don’t like is you acting ungentlemanly; screaming like a drug peddler in a
commercial bus just to pass your message across. We love your energy but we
believe it can be put to better use – like in the courtroom.

5. TOUCH NOT MY ANOINTED
…and do yourself no harm!

Sorry, for corrupting Ist Chronicles 16:22, but it best explains how I may react if you
go beyond using your speech organs in our interaction.

It’s so disrespectful touching an officer on the chin, shoulder, waist, wherever, just
because you want to buttress your point.

I could choose to ignore your insults, stare, and any other ‘tactic’ you adopt as
survival mechanism while with us.

I won’t ignore your touch.

6. IT IS MY OFFICE FOR PETE’S SAKE

However you view it, I’m in my office when on the road and you must respect my
office, notwithstanding that it’s on the road.

When you go to a bank, do you fill deposit slip when withdrawing cash?

When you go to a hospital, do you prescribe drugs and injection that the doctor and
nurse will administer on you?

Why then do you treat my office with contempt? Why can’t you obey simple
instructions?

What’s difficult in comprehending: ‘’Can I see your vehicle particulars?’’

You know your vehicle insurance has expired, so why wait until you are asked?

We are here to serve you and believe me: ‘’Police is you friend

Copyright 2014 The Cable.

www.thecable.ng

They are not our friends jare.

One angry Army man asked my friend a simple question, my friend was like "I know my right and i...." Army hausa man didn't allow him finish his statement, see many many slaps like seven-in-one knockout (banger) sound.

Furious Army man shouts at him "you see those 500 blocks across this gutter carry all of them cross over back here now"
Politely my friend started carrying the blocks.

One hour later, The Army commandant was driving past and saw my friend, who happens to be his Lawyer carrying blocks. Commandant scolds Army man seriously then turns to my friend and asks "my brother don't be angry please, how many blocks have you carried so far?"
My friend says 300 blocks. Commandant says "don't mind that fool, take the 300 blocks back" LOL!!!

You see, POLICE oh, Army oh none of them is our friends at all

A Priest was dying in a hospital. Then he
tells the doctor to call a Nigerian Police
Officer and a Politcian. Within minutes, a
police officer and a poliitcian poped in. He
told them to sit on either side of the bed and
he says nothing. The priest holds both the
hands of the police officer and the politician.
The guys get so Touched and at the same
time feel important for being summoned by
a priest in his dying moment. Then finally
the politician asks, ''But why did you call
us?'' The priest gathered all his strength and
said, ''Jesus died between two thieves.... I
want to go the same way..........

I hate police men with passion.

Na naija we dey

Lol

Really? Police is my friend?
1) Why is it that after checking all my papers and seeing that they are complete, you still want me to bribe you?

2) Why is it that when I give you a distress call that my life is in danger, you take ages to get to my location?

3) Why is it that when robbers attack, you are the last set of people to get there?

4) Why is it that some of you think since you've got the guns, you can talk to civilians however you like?

5) And most importantly, why do you guys keep saying 'Police is your friend' when we all know it just isn't true?

Noted!!!

lmao

.

Hmm..Oga officer we have noted what annoys you, l hope you also have a very good idea of what annoys law-abiding motorists, remember if the road is your office, we are the ones paying your salary.....let the respect be mutual!

Ok ooo





Oyakhilomes To Church Members- Please Pray For My Wife
>>>> http://nigerian-education-news..com/2014/09/Oyakhilome-and-his-wife.html

What of 10 things dat our Friends Police do wen d flag u down n ur papers re complete, den d started luking for excuses dat don't exist just to extort u? Kaiii! I hate Police dem eeeh!
.
#Police is ur friend indeed.
Mtchewwww

lionduke:
4. ‘DON’T YOU KNOW I AM A LAWYER’ AND OTHERS WHO KNOW
THEIR RIGHTS

“Don’t you know I’m a lawyer? I know my rights and if you infringe on my rights, I’ll
sue you. Sue the IG; sue the federal government.”

We have no problem with you being a lawyer or knowing your rights as a citizen of
the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

In fact, we love relating to learned gentlemen and women who have a copy of the
1999 Constitution resting above their dashboard. It shows you read and we know
readers are leaders.

What we don’t like is you acting ungentlemanly; screaming like a drug peddler in a
commercial bus just to pass your message across. We love your energy but we
believe it can be put to better use – like in the courtroom.

This got to be the most annoying,,
You're a Lawyer, so fvckin what
You ran a red light still saying I'm a lawyer(so that gives you the right )
You driving drunk,still saying am a Lawyer(ok this doesn't even make sense)....

Police is your friend.

Good Morning Nigeria

mitcheew....wetin concern us






Early morning...

ebelebe na our frnd oo


e get wan wey dey site clean cars fr ma area
if u park bad n ur car de luk somehw he go jst dirct u to pk bside d rod n gt d keys frm bt fr clean cars he go rush into ur pssenger's seat n strt advicing u on trafik laws

Okay


But OP, can a corps member, NYSC, use the 'Espirit de corps' language?

CharlieMaria: I hate police men with passion.

police is your friend..
Though Nigeria police have plenty of unprofessional corrupt officers, they are working hard for the society.

Claming right and Refusing to give them bribe is another 1

The No.2 Point: USE OF ESPIRI DE CORPS reminds me of a story.

There were these two guys, they were students of UNIBEN. They had interest in two girls in their dept, and so to impress these girls, one of 'em came with his father's car to school one day and they told the girls that they are big shots. That they can drive from Benin to Warri without any disturbance from policemen/soldiers.

So they all got into the vehicle and started their journey thru Sapele road. At every checkpoint when they were stopped they hailed ''Espiri de corps''. And that worked like magic, as they were immediately told to move on.

The girls were really impressed!

Na so my brothers move on, they passed every road-block. As they were getting close to Warri, they were stopped at round-about by a group of soldiers. And they used the normal magic word ''espiri de corps''. Haaaa! It worked again, the soldier in question made a curt salute and said ''plz move on sirs''..

Nobody knows what changed his mind though, and he was like ''excuse me sir, from which battalion''?
The guy on the steering replied ''UNIBEN mano war''.
Soilder: What? C'mon get down here now all of you! God punish you.

... The rest is history....

When people be like, "Do you know who I am?" fucking idiots who ain't worth shite.

Canme4u: Good Morning Nigeria

Good morning. God bless you.

Anybody may be your friend BUT the Nigerian Police is NOT your friend. Period!!!

You forgot to add, REFUSING TO OPEN YOUR WALLET and standing on your "right" when obviously you understand and can see apparently he needs a little cash from you but too authoritative to ask. #policearenicepeopleifyoupressthenicebuttons#

Let FG change their uniform,d black outfit makes dia heart so black,some of dem dnt evn wash dia uniform,,,let dem introduce anoda colour to dia uniform it will definetly come good of them!