Should secrets be kept from a loved one? Or is it a matter of privacy? Here is what an expert has got to say:

“First of all, let me explain the difference between privacy and secrecy.  Privacy is about defining healthy boundaries.  For example, there is a part of a marriage/ relationship that only the couple share.  It might be their financial information, sexual life, or other sensitive matters.  It doesn’t belong to either partner, but rather, to the couple.  The couple keep that part of their relationship private by establishing boundaries around it.
On the other hand, secrecy is about guarding information you would never want anyone else to know.  A secret isn’t something you typically share with other people, especially those close to you.  Secrets carry tremendous energy and require constant efforts to keep them guarded.   Secrets also carry shame.
This distinction is important because a marriage should have no secrets.  When a couple commits in marriage to become one, they agree to live a life of openness and transparency.  Secrets create walls and kill intimacy.
Marriage should be a secure base where both people know that the other person will be accessible and responsive.  When there is a block with accessibility and responsiveness it creates insecurity and mistrust.
Marriage/relationship feels the safest when there is full transparency available to each partner.  True intimacy is built on a shared trust and respect that requires vulnerability.”- Geoff Steurer


From another perspective, some people argue that there’s no privacy in this modern age…people use Facebook to stalk you, Picasa to see your pictures, FourSquare for your location and some mobile tracking devices for your locations. A man asked if I could install an app on his wife’s phone. The app will send updates to his own phone whenever she receives a call or an email. The app will also send him pictures from his wife’s phone including her phone contacts…that’s the crazy world we live in.
Despite all these technologies at our disposal, the issue remains a major problem for many relationships. When a man has password that is unknown to his wife or fiancée, it sends a stroke of distrust. I mean what sort of life should a man or woman live that should be exclusive? Except for health workers like doctors who may feel the desire to protect delicate information about their clients, keeping password to your phone or tab may pose a great trust issue even if we pretend it’s not there. Personally, I would recommend that if you’re in a ‘passage relationship’ or a relationship that’s obviously leading nowhere, you would put yourself at risk by exposing your deepest secrets.
There’s a thin line between secrecy and privacy. For those who strongly desire to request to know their partner’s password to emails, Facebook, tabs… You also need to look at your own reasons for wanting to check his/her phone.  Have there been suspicious behaviours that need to be discussed?  If so, talk about those concerns and work to understand the truth behind the observations.
We should NEVER create an avenue of doubt in the mind of our partner.

What's your take?

I use password cos of ny kids though hubby can unlock my fone.

GodsDivinefavor: I use password cos of ny kids though hubby can unlock my fone.

Yes, my fiancee and I have passwords to our devices and we both know the passwords.

It's always advisable to lock your phone for security and privacy. Married folks however should know their spouse's password and ATM PIN

Privacy.