The only c*ck in the churchyard was missing and the reverend father was worried as it meant no eggs or more chickens from the hens. So he decided to announce it during the Sunday service, and it went thus
Father: Who has seen my co*k?
Some women in the church stood up.
Father: No, that's not what I meant. I mean, who has seen the c*ck in this church?
Half of the women stood up.
Father: No. I mean, who has seen a co*k that does not belong to him?
All the men and women in the church stood up.

A mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.
“What happened ?” she asks anxiously.
“What happened! I’ll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip. I get home, and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my wife, with a guy in our marital bed!
This is unforgiveable, the end of our marriage. I’m done. I’m leaving forever!”
“Calm down, calm down!” says his mother-in-law. “There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I’ll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.”
Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.
”I told you there must be a simple explanation...she didn’t receive your E-mail !”