Happy indepedence and new month everyone!

is it good/wrong to keep secrets? Is it bad/good if you tell it?

This is a question that just came to my mind some days back when talking to someone.

Of course it is quiet a controversial question. The answer can be yes and no from different perspectives.

I myself find this question a bit complicated, getting a precise answer seems difficult.

If it is good to keep secrets and sometimes bad to tell them then
The saying some things are better left unsaid E.g secrets Is true.

But then again 'nothing is hidden under the sun'. If nothing is hidden under the sun is not better you say it than for it to reveal itself and possibly end up causing problems?

Then again it depends on what the secret is about. If its something that might not cause any problems then
is it still okay to keep one?
If its something that might cause an uproar
is it better to keep it and die with it?
Or just say it and bare the concequences?

So what's your opinion nairalanders?
Is it wrong/right to keep secrets?
Is it bad/good to keep it?

it depends on the kinda secrets we are talking about....shed more light!

It depends on the secret tho. Some secrets are so sensitive that a third party should keep ears off.

some things r better left unsaid
btw a lie is simply a good answer sometimes

It's good not to do anything that will become a secret but once there's a secret. Some secret are better not talked about, that is why it is called SECRET. But make sure your spouse knoes everything in case the shadows will still hunt you.

coogar: it depends on the kinda secrets we are talking about....shed more light!

Let say a terminal illness, psychological traumar like rape or domestic violence, revealing you are homosexual or bisexual, turned atheist, doing something evil like murder,cheating on spouse etc

anyhow you do it, it will still be exposed at the end.
so you better tell it to avoid it being heard from another source.

joywendy:
Let say a terminal illness, psychological traumar like rape or domestic violence, revealing you are homosexual or bisexual, turned atheist, doing something evil like murder,cheating on spouse etc

if a woman has experienced any of these things in nigeria, she should keep her mouth shut. the saying - nothing is hidden under the sun is the biggest fraud in the world.

nigeria is a highly judgemental society. if a woman tells her spouse she once cheated on a partner then she can as well forget about her marriage or her relationship. you only say such stuff when you are tired of a relationship - hoping it would eventually lead to the break up.

keep mum at all times(safer bet)

krall: anyhow you do it, it will still be exposed at the end.
so you better tell it to avoid it being heard from another source.

i'd take my chances with the secret. what will expose my secret? what can? voodoo or juju?

There's neither right or wrong. What's most important is applying wisdom in all situations.
Who you are telling, why you have to tell,when to tell and the consequences of telling or not all have to be considered....

kolinz: some things r better left unsaid
btw a lie is simply a good answer sometimes

what happens when the truth reveals itself? Won't it be worse?

Arva: It depends on the secret tho. Some secrets are so sensitive that a third party should keep ears off.

Mmm....it reveals itself one day nko?

adebayour26: It's good not to do anything that will become a secret but once there's a secret. Some secret are better not talked about, that is why it is called SECRET. But make sure your spouse knoes everything in case the shadows will still hunt you.

Yes true but in the case of rape, and some others that might probably ruin and cause some troubles in the home. Is it not better you don't say a word? If you tell your spouse and he/she takes it differently what would u do?

krall: anyhow you do it, it will still be exposed at the end.
so you better tell it to avoid it being heard from another source.

Mmmm...what if it probably ends up breaking the family and tearing it apart? Something you can't bear to lose? What would you do?

For me its only the fickled mind that keeps secrets. But is noteworthy to archive your experiences

Let ,me ask before i drop my keypad .what is the secret of keeping secret/s in the first place or the essence of keeping secrets

Lmao! Coogar thanks for your contribution.
If it were a guy in nko? You seem to skip the other instances I gave

Chiboy429 heya! Bday boy

Anyways to the topic at hand
I don't really know the answer to that question has it has different answers to people.

I think that people keep secrets because they don't want others to look down at them and judge them for what they did in the past,what they are doing presently and what they are about to do either bad or good.

joywendy: Lmao! Coogar thanks for your contribution.
If it were a guy in nko? You seem to skip the other instances I gave

men(in naija) get away with waywardness in their youthful days as long as it's not borderline criminality like murder or ritualism.

a guy that has slept with 500 babes is a king....a player. matter of fact, girls would even want him more because of his virility.

coogar:

men(in naija) get away with waywardness in their youthful days as long as it's not borderline criminality like murder or ritualism.

a guy that has slept with 500 babes is a king....a player. matter of fact, girls would even want him more because of his virility.

your opinion though
Thanks anyway

slimyem: There's neither right or wrong. What's most important is applying wisdom in all situations.
Who you are telling, why you have to tell,when to tell and the consequences of telling or not all have to be considered....

Wow a different perspective there!

[quote author=joywendy]

Yes true but in the case of rape, and some others that might probably ruin and cause some troubles in the home. Is it not better you don't say a word? If you tell your spouse and he/she takes it differently what would u do?

Knowledgeable opinion but the spouse should be ready to accept him/her for who he/she is, it wasn't her fault she had that experience.

@joywendy in Deut 29:29 "The LORD our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable
forever for all that he has revealed to us, so that we may obey all the terms of these instructions" (New living Translation). Does God have secrets, the answer is yes because he has not revealed to anybody, the day, the time of the second coming of Jesus Christ. The only thing we know is that he said it would be like the days of Noah. It's good to have secrets but do not be over secretive, you have to really trust the person you are sharing your secret with. You have to ask yourself, I hope this person I'm telling this my secret will not use them against me? I hope he would not divulge them to my enemies? once you can answer the questions convincingly, you can share but if not, don't share.

adebayour26: Knowledgeable opinion but the spouse should be ready to accept him/her for who he/she is, it wasn't her fault she had that experience.

Mmmm, very true! Thanks for your contribution.

if I may ask d OP, do u keep secret?

joywendy:

Mmmm, very true! Thanks for your contribution.

you are welcome...keep it up ma'am

bennyrazz: @joywendy in Deut 29:29 "The LORD our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable
forever for all that he has revealed to us, so that we may obey all the terms of these instructions" (New living Translation). Does God have secrets, the answer is yes because he has not revealed to anybody, the day, the time of the second coming of Jesus Christ. The only thing we know is that he said it would be like the days of Noah. It's good to have secrets but do not be over secretive, you have to really trust the person you are sharing your secret with. You have to ask yourself, I hope this person I'm telling this my secret will not use them against me? I hope he would not divulge them to my enemies? once you can answer the questions convincingly, you can share but if not, don't share.

mmmm....I agree with you on some of this points

The thing is people change, the fact that you can trust someone today won't mean they won't change tomorrow. Human beings are unpredictable.

What if the not sharing is eating you up inside?

adebayour26: if I may ask d OP, do u keep secret?

lol, why do you ask?

joywendy:
What if the not sharing is eating you up inside?

it you are itching to share it then its not worth keeping to yourself.

krall: it you are itching to share it then its not worth keeping to yourself.

I don't get it?
If its disturbing you it means its not worth keeping? Even after you have looked at the advantages and disadvantages? Knowing the disadvantages passes the advantages?

joywendy: lol, why do you ask?

I just wanna know how it affects you as the original poster of this topic....lol.

but am serious.

We learn d act of keeping secret from God d father. He cannot reveal some secrets to u. Know when a situation demands airtight secrecy. Itz wisdom and it shows inner spiritual strength.If u are one dat can't keep secrets, u may run into real turbulent waters someday. Use your mind not yur head. Bye-bye

joywendy: I don't get it?
If its disturbing you it means its not worth keeping? Even after you have looked at the advantages and disadvantages? Knowing the disadvantages passes the advantages?

subconscious weakness can cause a secret worth keeping become a disturbance. Ignorance, easylife antecedents and immaturity among others are d milk of subconscious weakness.

adebayour26:
I just wanna know how it affects you as the original poster of this topic....lol.

but am serious.

lolz

it's just a random thought that came to my mind. Btw people keep secrets once in a while, don't you?

nairalife2013: subconscious weakness can cause a secret worth keeping become a disturbance. Ignorance, easylife antecedents and immaturity among others are d milk of subconscious weakness.

Mmmm so you are saying those with a weak subconscious are the ones who can't keep secrets to themselves?
What exactly do you term/mean as a weak subconscious?

joywendy: Btw people keep secrets once in a while, don't you?

Once in a while.

joywendy: lolz

it's just a random thought that came to my mind. Btw people keep secrets once in a while, don't you?

Mmmm so you are saying those with a weak subconscious are the ones who can't keep secrets to themselves?
What exactly do you term/mean as a weak subconscious?

subconcious is connecterd wid feelings dat influence your behaviour even tho u are not aware of them. U become resolute in d outside due to experiience in life and d resultant effect it has on yur inner mind.a few folks are born wid selfcontrol over mundane issues, to act or not to act. Many learn this by hard experience. Self pity and peuril or kid-like compassion for others do inspire inabilty to keep secret, cos d eyes of d beholder is shrouded in fogged tears or apprehension, and their tell-happy tongues in d long run can bring more chaos than peace. A weak mind is a mind dat cannot stand alone due to certain underlying trait incapabilities. Such minds shy away from leadership roles or they fail at trial. Real men know there are some secrets worth dying wid, especially if telling might creat an uncertain situation whose end u are not sure of.

adebayour26:
Once in a while.

okay

nairalife2013: subconcious is connecterd wid feelings dat influence your behaviour even tho u are not aware of them. U become resolute in d outside due to experiience in life and d resultant effect it has on yur inner mind.a few folks are born wid selfcontrol over mundane issues, to act or not to act. Many learn this by hard experience. Self pity and peuril or kid-like compassion for others do inspire inabilty to keep secret, cos d eyes of d beholder is shrouded in fogged tears or apprehension, and their tell-happy tongues in d long run can bring more chaos than peace. A weak mind is a mind dat cannot stand alone due to certain underlying trait incapabilities. Such minds shy away from leadership roles or they fail at trial. Real men know there are some secrets worth dying wid, especially if telling might creat an uncertain situation whose end u are not sure of.

Mmmmmm....nice one there. Thanks

Keep your secrets to yourself, the person you are confessing to has his neatly tucked in.

beeevan: Keep your secrets to yourself, the person you are confessing to has his neatly tucked in.

mmmm....true that! But is it everyone that has one? Or just a few?