No but except she willing to do it on her own.

MarvellousGod:
hehehehehehe, do I really deserve all these?? .... I'm just going to let it pass anyway..

Good night.

Awww mama, but I meant them in a nice way na
Oya a cup of ice cream with hot crispy chips at KFC then?
Please do not take me serious. Its always fun breaking words with you miss

MarvellousGod:
I don't stand anywhere! !!!!

I want to work and contribute to my family projects/expenses. .

AND

I must make decisions with my husband, I must have a say.. we must talk things over, he can't just decide alone.... Nobody has the final say in a marriage, decisions should be reached by both couples. ..

QED

Thank you for this. Decisions have to be made by mutual agreement. They say marriage is about 2 people becoming one, not one adopting someone he can control, simply because he is a man.

I believe both parties have to contribute financially and do the household chores together and also decide on matters that concern the family together. Its suppose to be teamwork

She shld assist d husband based on his financial strengths

A wife shld b a helper and nt a leech. I can only respect a woman dt helps me in everyway possible as we live as husband and wife. If I bring 10 naira u shld bring 3 naira. If u bring nothing to d table (no problem) then u ll b more like my servant n u dnt talk while d boss is talking n everytin must b done my own way else u ll go back to ur fathers houz wit dt ur selfish self

Any woman dt is working and not contributing to her family upkeep is d devil incarnate I mean even if his husband is dangote. It shld give u joy to b contributing to ur family as a woman esp wen u ve. Ur family is ur number one on earth

she should also get ready to inpregnate me or hell no...she will also make a suguestion,,tim ba like i will take it, ti mo ba de like i wont....period

simplyOJ:
My wife works and keep her salary. I take care as I should as the husband and father of the house. We have gotten to know ourselves to the point that she steps in to make her own contributions by assisting in taken care of some very essential expenses from time time.

Marriage is not a competition between the wife and her husband, but rather two loving individuals who have agreed to come together to build a home. The man should understand he is responsible for the upkeep of his home, irrespective of whether his wife is working. He should not enforce it that the wife will have to contribute to the upkeep of the home. He should just focus doing his bit and take his nose off his womans purse, trust me majority of wives that are respected by their husbands need not be told, they know when to come in from time to time. It works for me.

Interesting! However, if a kid is gonna be deprived of an adequate parenting cos both mum and dad are career ppl, then, she has to make near and equal contribution to the upkeep of the house.

I mean, ppl don't get married to be man and "man" in the house. There are places of "such" for the woman to actively dominate. Things like the kitchen and the kids.

Of course we are in the modern day world were women are no longer house wives as we used to have back in the days. And just before you get me all wrong, I belong to the team that says YES! women are not just to sit around and make no contributions. In fact, I salute brave women who pick up the challenge to make meaningful contributions.

Now, this, is one damn thing that is splitting homes on daily basis. If a married man no longer feels like a king in his own home (it doesn't matter if the woman makes 70% contribution), that moment, that instant he feels he lost that respect (which is an inborn error say to say of every male - man and animal alike) from his wife, the supposed mother of his kids, he finds no amusement in her anymore then, a mistress who does understand and sees and respect him as a king becomes the preferred.

Last bullet :@ all ladies, the secret to keeping your home is making your man feel like a king. No matter the job or career you path, wisely applying this to your home is a sure way of guaranteed "happily ever after".

Peace!

sammieguze:
Yes but at her discretion. Not mandatory.

My opinion though

She dey crase abi? But her discretion tell her to marry abi? Nigcuhh,its a team sport. I no won hear dat discretion matter o.

greatgod2012:
It's obvious and unfortunate that many don't really understand what marriage is all about.
Marriage is all about partnership, teamwork, in everything, every aspect and every area in love, understanding and empathy.
Marriage is not about one-man battalion, it's about two people working as one in every area that involves their marriage and lives.
If, as wife, you really love your husband, with understanding and empathy, you will realise that it's "unmarriage"(formed by me) to saddle your husband with all the financial responsibilities, apart from the fact that it isn't good for his health, it shows that you yourself aint committed to being teamed up with your husband, (selfishness)which sooner than later, may brings up unhealthy marital relationship to spring up.

Similarly, if, as a husband, if you really love your wife and see her as part of you, you will involve her in every decision to be taken at home, and in your life, when it comes to household matters, you will know that you're both one and act accordingly. You will see her as part of you that mustn't be neglected or abandoned.
At the end of the day, both parties enjoy their commitment towards each other and peace reigns absolutely.

Point of correction!!!When it comes to some decisions there are some that would unequivocally be decided by the man,in such situations,even the wife would opt out of such so not all decisions. A man remains a man in the family no matter what...

Debonair01:
It beats me a times how marriage has become so broken and everyone trying to make it scientific. I paint another scenario, one which i am very conversant with.

My dad and mum both were working, but no formulae was used for anything (per say), Granted, my dad takes care of the MAIN responsibilities, and my mum the minor ones but these roles were easily interchangeable whenever the need arose.

Pops pays our fees, gives us some upkeep money, Mums usually gives us additional money for other frivolities (clothes, shoes.. just playing around money). In them of house hold stuff, my dad would usually buy the bulk food (bags of rice, beans, yam), but my mum takes care of most additives and fruits and the likes. Some months, moms wld go out and buy the bulk foods (looking back now, she is usually very excited when ever she does, maybe because of exra money she just made or just the joy of buying them) and other times my dad comes home with the food additives. Clothings, each buy for themselves and for one another. (mums real did like buying for my my dad tho).

DECISIONS WERE ALWAYS TAKEN TOGETHER, with few exceptions where apologies are made and efforts to make it up, like my dad buying my mum a gift to apologise or my mum preparing a special delicacy

WHAT IS MY POINT

As much as it might sound quite idealistic, but if my parents could do it for almost 50yrs, any sincere couple can. Just do things sincerely for one another, contribute when you can. and this includes even house chores. it surprises me when pple talk about whose responsibility it is to do what; the answer is.. its both yours, Just do them with joy and love.

ps: i remember when my dad started a building project, and all house hold purchases went to my mum, even our fees a times. But even then, She would contribute some to the building and He some to house. There was no clear cut lines.

I think this best sums it up.

davide470:
Hmmm.. Not nice.

You are heading to the gallows by the time ur eyes are open. Pls apply ur brakes.

Google it

mascot87:


I would like you to explain this better

The problem is not about contributing to the family . The problem is men treating their wives like they have no right in decision making, like they have no right to ask questions. Many of this men want independent women but cannot stand the character of an average independent woman. If she adds value to ur life financially, she also has every right to know everything that happens inside and outside the home especially wiv her money involved.



But Nigerian men are used to dominating women. That is what many of them grew up to see. Their mothers could not question their dad. How he spends the money. Etc. You can not behave that way to a woman who adds value to your life. She will revolt and then ud say she is disrespectful. Did u respect her when u removed money from joint account and did not tell her what u did wiv it? Or that some of these men use the money to cheat and wine wiv friends. No woman will take that.

If u want an independent woman who will share in responsibility. You must respect her as much as she respects u. The respect u give to her is what will make her submit to you. But everything na just word of mouth. I have noticed that marriages that are breaking recently always involves two independent partners. Does it mean that men cannot truly stay wiv an independent woman or independent women have suddenly grown wings?.


Who knows??

Whichever model you have chosen, ensure your decision is for the good of everyone and not mere selfish interest. Make sure your marriage works no matter your choice. Find out the reasons why your spouse wants to contribute or do not want to contribute financially/decision-wise. Find a way to convince/negotiation your stance. Do not turn your home to WWF! Though, it may take time but with patience and peaceful-persistence you would get there. Though biblically, man is the head of the family but as a wise wife you should understand and support him where he needs help. Just ensure it does not lead to more problems! I wish you the best in your home!

OP: Atimes when people don't do their homework before marriage, they end up with these scenarios

1. Faith Should have have married Beatrice's or Tamar's husband

2. Beatrice Should have married Faith's husband

3. Tamar has no problem whatsoever. She only has to ensure that hubby takes the occasional vacation

Its ideal for a woman to share every secret she have with her husband. Some women hide some secrets because they do no know the meaning of marraige.

emusmith:
Go and marry first or let them marry you first...You're still single...

Are you saying that this mentality is what is still keeping Marvellousgod single? It might be true sha.

funky41:
Pls I nd answers quick shuld a wife work cos her huby insist she shuld nt work rather she shuld stay at home n train d kids answers pls

If you both have discussed it and it is not yielding any fruit, then try to find a middle ground.
Work is a relative term. There are many things you can do in the comfort of your home that will bring you some cash and will still give you time to take care of your kids. You can do some buying and selling, especially daily need stuff that neighbours can buy. If he doesn't want you to get a salaried job, fine. Just find a way of making some money.

Yes. A fair percentage is appropriate !!!!

The man you are going to end up with would be unfortunate .. very greedy, self centered mindset.

jumzzy448:
model 3. let me work and keep my money. so if anything comes up and hubby is not readily available, i can shoulder the responsibility.

Lightening:


Are you saying that this mentality is what is still keeping Marvellousgod single? It might be true sha.

...

These guys with fragile ego that think making decisions alone makes them a man and in control don finish me today

Truth is bitter shaaa, deal with it

OMG! I love Tamar's husband.... That's the perfect man.A real man suppose to work for his own money off than waiting and depending on a woman's money....He is a rare gem........For me,my money is my money! The best I can do is to spend it on myself,parents and kids.... Not assisting a man in projects such as building house or buying cars...Tomorrow he may kick me out n bring in a new wife to enjoy my sweat or use the car to cruise his bevy of girlfriends...... Men are unpredictable creatures!

Nah... She alone should provide that... I bet the hubby pays the essential bills like groceries and the children's school fees

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blaise26abj:
OP: Atimes when people don't do their homework before marriage, they end up with these scenarios

1. Faith Should have have married Beatrice's or Tamar's husband

2. Beatrice Should have married Faith's husband

3. Tamar has no problem whatsoever. She only has to ensure that hubby takes the occasional vacation

I disagree with you on (3). Tamar has a problem because she's not happy. She wants to help economically but she's not allowed to. What's more, she's already worried about the future in case he dies prematurely. Pride probably won't allow her husband take adequate holiday.

All are dysfunctional homes, 1 & 2 even more so.

MarvellousGod:
...

These guys with fragile ego that think making decisions alone makes them a man and in control don finish me today

Truth is bitter shaaa, deal with it

No mind them. I pity the woman they married/ will marry. When it is time for projects, they call you partners. When it is time to make decisions they start shouting I am the man

I prefer/ enjoy providing her every need if I have the capacity, even paying her salary monthly irrespective of her been gainfully employed. In decision making I must get her input first.
That I am the one providing for the family doesn't make my wife a push over.
A man that wait on his wife's income to run his home is not ideal. A good wife must also know when to step in. My 2cent

I don't expect a woman to contribute to household expenditures, as a matter of fact, I don't want her to. I grew up in a household where my mum was working but never had to contribute financially, she did however but mostly on very minor things which which my dad shouldn't be bothered by. I think that structure is perfect, it ran like clockwork.

I don't subscribe to the fallacious idea of gender equality so I accept household expenditure as my exclusive responsibility as I will expect you to graciously accept your responsibility.

You make money, you keep your money!!

AreaFada2:


I disagree with you on (3). Tamar has a problem because she's not happy. She wants to help economically but she's not allowed to. What's more, she's already worried about the future in case he dies prematurely. Pride probably won't allow her husband take adequate holiday.

All are dysfunctional homes, 1 & 2 even more so.

There are a lot of ways that she can be a helper when his health is concerned. Medication, Food and vacations. Why would he be proud to take a vacation? is it a lowly thing to do? just a trip downtown to a hotel with madam for only a week can do a lot to reduce stress.

I read some comments, and all I did was SMH.

I know how I'd run my home, and I'd only get married to a woman who reasons like I do as related to building a family.

greatgod2012:
It's obvious and unfortunate that many don't really understand what marriage is all about.
Marriage is all about partnership, teamwork, in everything, every aspect and every area in love, understanding and empathy.
Marriage is not about one-man battalion, it's about two people working as one in every area that involves their marriage and lives.
If, as wife, you really love your husband, with understanding and empathy, you will realise that it's "unmarriage"(formed by me) to saddle your husband with all the financial responsibilities, apart from the fact that it isn't good for his health, it shows that you yourself aint committed to being teamed up with your husband, (selfishness)which sooner than later, may brings up unhealthy marital relationship to spring up.

Similarly, if, as a husband, if you really love your wife and see her as part of you, you will involve her in every decision to be taken at home, and in your life, when it comes to household matters, you will know that you're both one and act accordingly. You will see her as part of you that mustn't be neglected or abandoned.
At the end of the day, both parties enjoy their commitment towards each other and peace reigns absolutely.

God is Great

The question is why did you get married Though very sensitive topic, its simple. I think we should try read what Debonair01 wrote.... Its a lovely one. However before getting married these are issues that should be discussed........

Yes she is supposed to support the husband