It started when I was in the university. While my friends were having partners and getting into relationships I was breaking up with guys and not feeling a bit bothered by it.
When they talk about marriage I'm hardly interested. I thought maybe I was young that was why. Now I'm 25 and still not feeling like getting married. Infact the thought irritates me..I go to church programs and see children everywhere and am like why r these people getting married?? For what? Purposeless marriages. Just bring children into the world and leave them to overpopulate the nation. Hungry looking children everywhere.

Sometimes I hate myself for not understanding these things and why i can't be happy for others. I don't see any good in it. Can someone tell me why marriage is important? And please don't say companionship, chidren, or society. I care for none of those.


Secondly I began to think I might be (please don't judge me for this) homosexual. I know with nigerian culture and christianity, this is wrong. Even I hate the thought of it and will condemn anyone involved but lately I'm beginning to think it might be natural. If there is any possibility that I am one, I want to know so I can pray about it, do deliverance or something.

You're just not ready. I was like you during my NYSC days but as years dey go no be person tell me so just take your life as it comes, you will be ready when the time is right

ur just a mean person. look at the words you chose to describe people living their lives and barring you from nothing. if you had power or enough forces under your control, u would be hyperactive with your hatred and bring people down to misery. are you doubtful of your sexůal orientation... have you been involved with or attracted to your sex before? even at that, u have no reason to think stupìd of other people's steps to personal fulfilment

I just dnt knw what to say to this Op.

spotit:
ur just a mean person. look at the words you chose to describe people living their lives and barring you from nothing. if you had power or enough forces under your control, u would be hyperactive with your hatred and bring people down to misery. are you doubtful of your sexůal orientation... have you been involved with or attracted to your sex before? even at that, u have no reason to think stupìd of other people's steps to personal fulfilment

Heyyy. Am the one in a fix here and looking for help. I'm being honest about my feelings and in no way am I justifying them. I cant help it okay?

preshuzpearl:


Heyyy. Am the one in a fix here and looking for help. I'm being honest about my feelings and in no way am I justifying them. I cant help it okay?

I'll be very honest with you now. what you have related on here are early signs of mental health trouble. mental health diagnoses cover a very large spectrum, so i wouldn't instantly conclude you're likely getting depression. meet a counsellor, first be open to higher advice and relocate as quickly as you could

preshuzpearl:
Can someone tell me why marriage is important? And please don't say companionship, chidren, or society. I care for none of those.

if those importance of marriage you listed above doesn't seem to be important enough, I see no other explanation that will help you. Like the FTC said, You are not ready yet, the thought of marrying go soon flash you.

preshuzpearl:


Heyyy. Am the one in a fix here and looking for help. I'm being honest about my feelings and in no way am I justifying them. I cant help it okay?

I was really right. I once talked about people who arent captivated/fancy the idea of marriage at all. Perhaps you are just among the very few breed of humans. You know just like Oprah and the rest. I just feel like if you dnt fancy it at the Mo, then you shouldnt go into it and make your spouse suffer. thats all. Go into it when your mentality changes.

preshuzpearl:
It started when I was in the university. While my friends were having partners and getting into relationships I was breaking up with guys and not feeling a bit bothered by it.
When they talk about marriage I'm hardly interested. I thought maybe I was young that was why. Now I'm 25 and still not feeling like getting married. Infact the thought irritates me..I go to church programs and see children everywhere and am like why r these people getting married?? For what? Purposeless marriages. Just bring children into the world and leave them to overpopulate the nation. Hungry looking children everywhere.

Sometimes I hate myself for not understanding these things and why i can't be happy for others. I don't see any good in it. Can someone tell me why marriage is important? And please don't say companionship, chidren, or society. I care for none of those.

You are a bitter person. You need healing.

The homosexual thing is a projection from your bitterness. You see no reason to engage in a meaningful relationship with members of the opposite sex and as the years go by you have begun to seek comfort in members of your own sex.

The issue now is...what happened to you? Was it emotional or physical? Were you bullied, raped, emotionally abused, beaten, etc, or did you see any of these happen to someone you cared deeply about?

Finding the root of the problem is the first step to solving it.

Of course in a faceless forum like this you will find people that will tell you everything you are feeling is normal. That there is nothing wrong with you. That is to be expected.

But you know there is something wrong hence your complaint and wanting to share your thoughts.

Find the root of the problem. From there it can be tackled and uprooted and things will slowly but surely become normal for you again.

^^ this post of yours actually made me check her profile now...i was right about her pointers to a disturbing mental health.

5minsmadness:

You are a bitter person. You need healing.
The homosexual thing is a projection from your bitterness. You see no reason to engage in a meaningful relationship with members of the opposite sex and as the years go by you have begun to seek comfort in members of your own sex.
The issue now is...what happened to you? Was it emotional or physical? Were you bullied, raped, emotionally abused, beaten, etc, or did you see any of these happen to someone you cared deeply about?
Finding the root of the problem is the first step to solving it.
Of course in a faceless forum like this you will find people that will tell you everything you are feeling is normal. That there is nothing wrong with you. That is to be expected.
But you know there is something wrong hence your complaint and wanting to share your thoughts.
Find the root of the problem. From there it can be tackled and uprooted and things will slowly but surely become normal for you again.

This.

Op,did you grow up with your parents and was there harmony between them?

I peeked at your profile and I can conclude you are showing early signs of depression.

preshuzpearl:
It started when I was in the university. While my friends were having partners and getting into relationships I was breaking up with guys and not feeling a bit bothered by it.
When they talk about marriage I'm hardly interested. I thought maybe I was young that was why. Now I'm 25 and still not feeling like getting married. Infact the thought irritates me..I go to church programs and see children everywhere and am like why r these people getting married?? For what? Purposeless marriages. Just bring children into the world and leave them to overpopulate the nation. Hungry looking children everywhere.
Sometimes I hate myself for not understanding these things and why i can't be happy for others. I don't see any good in it. Can someone tell me why marriage is important? And please don't say companionship, chidren, or society. I care for none of those.
Secondly I began to think I might be (please don't judge me for this) homosexual. I know with nigerian culture and christianity, this is wrong. Even I hate the thought of it and will condemn anyone involved but lately I'm beginning to think it might be natural. If there is any possibility that I am one, I want to know so I can pray about it, do deliverance or something.

Please can u explain the bolded
You cant see any good in what,,..marriage or men?

^ that is a loner's way of saying "i'm ultra antisocial, i will be better off left in my solitary misanthropy"

but the goodnews is, there's a solution. find it. it's way better than reaffirming to yourself what lies the darkness is wispering in your ears.


btw, I'm not touting any particular religion to her

Both.

pickabeau1:


Please can u explain the bolded
You cant see any good in what,,..marriage or men?

preshuzpearl:
Both.

Men i understand

Marriage - strange .. even homosexuals and lesbians want to marry hence the basis of their campaign for marriage equality

So this is a man issue
Is the isue that strong that u harbour such anger towards innocent kids...product of marriage

The kids are innocent I know. Thats why I believe they shouldn't be brought into the world and allowed to suffer. U get what I mean?

By the way for those who talk about mental issues. I might agree that I Get depressed alot and am usually sad. But that has nothing to do with this. And I dont think its that disturbing @spotity

I have no serious traumatic experience so far that I can remember.

preshuzpearl:
The kids are innocent I know. Thats why I believe they shouldn't be brought into the world and allowed to suffer. U get what I mean?

By the way for those who talk about mental issues. I might agree that I Get depressed alot and am usually sad. But that has nothing to do with this. And I dont think its that disturbing @spotity

I have no serious traumatic experience so far that I can remember.

if the kids are innocent, why refer to them as hungry looking

thorpido:
Op,did you grow up with your parents and was there harmony between them?

I peeked at your profile and I can conclude you are showing early signs of depression.

I wouldnt say she is depressed. More of antisocial behavioural type C, or paranoia secondary to post traumatic stress disorder. Such people are shy, reserved, not interested in social mingling, might view others as discussing or thinking about them in a negative light, exceedingly apathetic i.e they don't care at all , or exceedingly empathetic i.e they care too much.


Its not a mental illness pls. Just a social dysfunction.

preshuzpearl:
The kids are innocent I know. Thats why I believe they shouldn't be brought into the world and allowed to suffer. U get what I mean?

By the way for those who talk about mental issues. I might agree that I Get depressed alot and am usually sad. But that has nothing to do with this. And I dont think its that disturbing @spotity

I have no serious traumatic experience so far that I can remember.

@bolded, it has everything to with it, I suggest you seek help maybe from a psychologist or counsellor before you get worse...Goodluck

preshuzpearl:
The kids are innocent I know. Thats why I believe they shouldn't be brought into the world and allowed to suffer. U get what I mean?

By the way for those who talk about mental issues. I might agree that I Get depressed alot and am usually sad. But that has nothing to do with this. And I dont think its that disturbing @spotity

I have no serious traumatic experience so far that I can remember.

What do you think the children are going to suffer when they come into this world?

5minsmadness:

I wouldnt say she is depressed. More of antisocial behavioural type C, or paranoia secondary to post traumatic stress disorder. Such people are shy, reserved, not interested in social mingling, might view others as discussing or thinking about them in a negative light, exceedingly apathetic i.e they don't care at all , or exceedingly empathetic i.e they care too much.


Its not a mental illness pls. Just a social dysfunction.

dysfunction.

OP needs a long and thick Preek to reset her brain. ....

preshuzpearl:
The kids are innocent I know. Thats why I believe they shouldn't be brought into the world and allowed to suffer. U get what I mean?

By the way for those who talk about mental issues. I might agree that I Get depressed alot and am usually sad. But that has nothing to do with this. And I dont think its that disturbing @spotity

I have no serious traumatic experience so far that I can remember.

u don't have to be a full-blown psychotic or schizophrenic to pass in that category. your thoughts patterns are of utmost importance....again u might have used or still be using moodiness/passive aggressiveness to disrupt social stability/happiness amongst people you interact with.

if it's not conventional, then it's open to questioning...and it has to be disturbing (even if to the slightest degree) to be examined or to give you enough personal concerns to bring it up here

BrunoMads:
OP needs a long and thick Preek to reset her brain. ....

kolo
This is also something i thought of...i think she needs more of companionship and understanding..She seems to be alone/lonely

The Op is obviously depressed and needs help pronto! I hope she starts communicating more instead of bottling all inside; it really helps.

@op: There is nothing wrong with you. And please, pay no mind to people that are calling you crazy or bitter.

It is okay for you not to fancy marriage. Marriage is not compulsory. It is acceptable if you don't want to have kids either, it's your choice to make.

I will recommend that you search deep within yourself, it's important to know if this decision came as a result of something. What did you witness growing up? How was your parent/guardian's marriage? Did you witness a lot of failed marriages?

You seem to be irritated at marriage because of the idea of bearing kids. I'm not sure but that's what I got from your post. You don't have to have kids when you get married, just find a spouse that shares your sentiments.

Do not let anybody make you feel batsh1t crazy, there is not wrong with you. You just need to understand yourself more; It's advisable you talk to someone that can help you understand yourself better, like a psychologist.

Another thing I can say is, you might not want to be in bondage of the norm. You might not want to end up having kids because that is simply not the life you envision for yourslef. You have a dream and marriage doesn't fit in it. That is fine.

I, personally, will not advice anybody to get married at the age of 25.

5minsmadness:

I wouldnt say she is depressed. More of antisocial behavioural type C, or paranoia secondary to post traumatic stress disorder. Such people are shy, reserved, not interested in social mingling, might view others as discussing or thinking about them in a negative light, exceedingly apathetic i.e they don't care at all , or exceedingly empathetic i.e they care too much.


Its not a mental illness pls. Just a social dysfunction.

You could be right but she obviously needs help.

Preshuzpearl,have you ever had a boyfriend?

BananaBender:
@op: There is nothing wrong with you. And please, pay no mind to people that are calling you crazy or bitter.

It is okay for you not to fancy marriage. Marriage is not compulsory. It is acceptable if you don't want to have kids either, it's your choice to make.

I will recommend that you search deep within yourself, it's important to know if this decision came as a result of something. What did you witness growing up? How was your parent/guardian's marriage? Did you witness a lot of failed marriages?

You seem to be irritated at marriage because of the idea of bearing kids. I'm not sure but that's what I got from your post. You don't have to have kids when you get married, just find a spouse that shares your sentiments.

Do not let anybody make you feel batsh1t crazy, there is not wrong with you. You just need to understand yourself more; It's advisable you talk to someone that can help you understand yourself better, like a psychologist.

Another thing I can say is, you might not want to be in bondage of the norm. You might not want to end up having kids because that is simply not the life you envision for yourslef. You have a dream and marriage doesn't fit in it. That is fine.

I, personally, will not advice anybody to get married at the age of 25.

i find this a tad funny that you would recommend a psychologist for someone who is according to you, perfect.

a mature 25year old uni graduate who has had a working experience with people. her mind is obviously educated and enlightened/liberated enough to sort out the identity issues reminiscent of unlearned teenage...

spotit:
i find this a tad funny that you would recommend a psychologist for someone who is according to you, perfect.

I never called her perfect, no one can claim to be perfect. You don't have to be crazy to see a psychologist.

spotit:
i find this a tad funny that you would recommend a psychologist for someone who is according to you, perfect.
a mature 25year old uni graduate who has had a working experience with people. her mind is obviously educated and enlightened/liberated enough to sort out the identity issues reminiscent with unlearned teenage...

loool
I love nairaland

preshuzpearl:
The kids are innocent I know. Thats why I believe they shouldn't be brought into the world and allowed to suffer. U get what I mean?

By the way for those who talk about mental issues. I might agree that I Get depressed alot and am usually sad. But that has nothing to do with this. And I dont think its that disturbing @spotity

I have no serious traumatic experience so far that I can remember.

the kids shouldn't be brought to suffer?
who told you all the kids in the world are suffering?
if you feel it is better for those kids not to exist or to die, I think it would pay you more to take your life, at least show them a good example and also help the society from this your hatred (since you hate anything with life in it so much)
those kids deserve life and the choice to live.
and for the men hatred, here is a suggestion, since you can't kill all the men and little male children, why don't you just kill yourself and be at peace?