FNN gathered that the congregation of Our Lord Jesus is a Ladder Ministry was in a state of joy and intrigue on Sunday when their Pastor disclosed that he went to heaven over the weekend. This joy of expecting an illustration of heaven was immediately disturbed by confussion and side talks when he narrated what actually transpired.

According to the pastor, who survived a cardiac arrest on Friday evening and was in coma for few hours expressed his displeasure for coming back to earth, and broke down into tears when he said.

“una no go understand how eee dey pain me, because I dey speak grammar…

Asin, as I reach the gate of heaven, everywhere just white, dey shine, fine like heaven.
Nai Angel appear with white iPad, begin dey flip through wetin dey like my records on earth.
As I see d Angel dey smile, dey nod head, I begin happy, I feel like say I don hammer, I go enter enter heaven.

“well I’m a pastor, I pay my tithes, help the poor, live a holy life and lead people to Christ etc, so I wasn’t too surprised.”

Nai Angel say ” You have done well, you fought a good fight” as I wan jump up….
Angel say “but wait we have a new update, I haven’t checked”

“At about 12:30pm today, you drove accross an interjunction despite the traffic light showing ‘Red’ on your lane, and it shows here that you have several of this traffic light/road traffic offences on your records”

“Na I cry..dey shout, Angel Gabriel dat one sef follow? But eee no dey for bible na, you dey mind Nigeria traffic light, police and road safety? Chaii!!!! Angel abeg I beg u in d name of God

“With cognisance of the good work you’ve done in the body of Christ, You won’t be sent to hell, but you’ll be sent back to earth to pay the fines for your traffic offences and hopefully if and only if you remain steadfast in your work in Christ and stay clear of traffic offences, you’ll be allowed to enter heaven, the next time you get here” those were the last words of the Angel.

As I dey beg dey talk “but opportunity comes ones” nai I wake up from wetin una call coma, the thing pain me reach my blooood.

Although the pastor went further to express his happiness in rejoining with his family and church members, he pointed out that he wished he had entered heaven and not returned.

FNN hereby use this medium to call on all and sundry not to only strive to live in accordance to the stipulated of their faiths but also try to obey the laws(eg. Traffic laws) of the land.

BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.

#DontMissTheNextFunnyThing