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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / The Birth Of A Poet (2226 Views)
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The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 12:48am On Oct 14, 2014 |
Rough Edge (By Adeola A. Odukoya) Sometimes I feel like dropping out of the race To put an end to all the pain All the effort without gain But if so be the case Then I’ll have lived without a mark Drawn of this globular track No no no I want to go My threshold is now zero But what I know about the ‘to’ is just as dicey as the ‘fro’ The likelihood of ending in pain Is just as much as that of gain But what if all is null And the other side is an illusion A fable passed to my generation Then as the giant dwarfs fall All that is left is the mark Made on the surface of the track Oh! Is this game really controlled? Or has the controller left the field? For all I see on this land; Are innocents’ eyes filled with sand, The just reaping injustice And the unjust buying justice I want to get up from this stampede But my crucial bone hurts And my mind is filled with thoughts Was it my fault that I concede? Should I have risen to fight? Or was I really in the tight? Then even if all is a dream? Do I lie there in anguish? Or swim out of the bloody stream? To revamp all that I wish Make that mark on this track And transform my remora into shark Spontaneously I stood Feeling like a log of wood All my pains forgotten My rough edges smoothen I jumped over my hurdles And broke through my obstacles. |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 12:18am On Oct 19, 2014 |
Tag: samflexxy, pure Ivory AD30LA, deejaybond07 Larrysun Sammyhoe/ Sammy hoe Audrey Timm Princesa Prettyspicey Davep Temitope Daniel Texanomaly Firestar Justice enam/Justiceenam Spiceyeva/Spice eva Queenxstar Noble4d Flakkydagirl TiffanyJ Missyhorlah Tpia5 AdebayoOmolara Timpaker Dorisbest Lorlaahlorzz D9ty7 TheRock5555 Royver Orikinla OmA4u Dammygoody Kingphilip Dygeasy, Here's a poem for review guys, what do u think? |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by texanomaly(f): 2:07am On Oct 19, 2014 |
Your poem was worth the read. Thanks for tagging me. |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by OMA4U(m): 7:02am On Oct 19, 2014 |
Nice poem. I want to read more. |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by noble4d(m): 8:42am On Oct 19, 2014 |
Wow a lovely poem written in SESTET. In the fourth stanza, line 3-4 where you wrote: For all I see on this land; Are innocent eyes filled with sand Since is an enjambment, using this punctuation ( ; ) is not necessary. You are good, keep on writing them. |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by daveP(m): 1:21pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
Hmm(smooches beard) this is a very good good poem. Poems take hours to think and perfect. |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 5:07pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
Thanks for pointing that out noble4d.... daveP, texanomaly, thanks a lot too. OMA4U here's another. |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 5:16pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
The herds wandered around the field Hoping for a hand to increase the yield Then you came with your hand of deceit And a false oat to rid the herds of filth Promising to make the rags smile With your intent as bitter as bile Playing a tone that the ears long Meanwhile crooning a sorrowful song You appeared with a façadic noble cause but Why have you beseeched us? had you not preached to ease our pains? And turn around to make of us, gains? You promised to soothe our wounds But then you’re nothing but hounds Who maniacally seek goodies Regardless, what it does to the masses You took our seed of treasury see not you the seed as seed! sacrificed it for your myopic luxury Had you humbly sown the seed? Then your seeds will probably reap The product of the seed you sow But so little do you know That the seed you sow are your seeds' to reap |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 5:27pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
Can someone suggest a title? |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by daveP(m): 6:54pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
AD30LA:U welcome. Keep the flow. |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by daveP(m): 6:58pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
AD30LA:it all pointing to someone who is not what you expected-IMPERSONATOR!! Deceit is the main of the poem. And it kinda have a political undertone. 1 Like |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by LarrySun(m): 7:48pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
Thanks for the mention, Ad3ola, but I'm not a poet. I can't review it. |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 10:00pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
LarrySun:Oh! I saw you on a poem thread, am sorry for mistaking you for a poet ..... But you can always read, who knows you may eventually discover the beauty of poetry |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by OMA4U(m): 1:17am On Oct 20, 2014 |
daveP:I love that, DaveP. Mood: Lamentation Tone: Deceit Wow! 2 Likes |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by OMA4U(m): 1:18am On Oct 20, 2014 |
daveP: |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 9:47am On Oct 20, 2014 |
OMA4U:Suggest a title |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by texanomaly(f): 3:13pm On Oct 20, 2014 |
politician |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by noble4d(m): 4:45pm On Oct 20, 2014 |
According to the poem, the poet is sad,lamenting on the inability of the politicians to keep and fulfill their promises. In the first stanza, the prayers of the masses in any society is to have a good leader.The politicians campaigned with deceitful humility so as to seek the votes of citizens. Their speech is as sweet as honey, wearing smiley mask, giving out food and cash to win their heart, not knowing their largesse is all pretense. In the second & Third stanzas, After achieving their goals, they removed their smiley mask, filling their various bank accounts with cash, buying private jets, employing their love ones to offices not minding if they are qualified, and visiting places they desire...meanwhile, they forgot those who vote for them, keeping them in the dark. The masses were sad and vociferating with the tone of regret, knowing fully well that the politicians used them for their political ambition. The masses held on tight to faith and optimistic that the table will turn. Hmmm! As for the title, I have many by heart but " Stain on the masses" fit in. 1 Like |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 8:23am On Oct 22, 2014 |
noble4d:thanks, for the content analysis. |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 8:27am On Oct 22, 2014 |
OMA4U, Dave, teaxanomaly, noble4d. Thanks... |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 8:28am On Oct 22, 2014 |
THE TREACHERY OF TIME. (by Odukoya A. Adeola) When the sight becomes blurry When the light becomes history When darkness engulf the sphere When the most vivid becomes unclear Normalcy changes its hides Nocturnal become prevailing Even the lousy man hides Gently under the shield of his ceiling Darkness at the peak of dominance Birds enmute their songy vocal chords In fear of the foggy occupance A fear strong enough to chase the mighty sun But despair not the tyranny of darkness For its reign depends solely on time Whose loyalty’s modified by clime It’s perfidy cleanse the air of hoplessness For once the traitor strikes The dark tyrant becomes forgotten Replaced by the sovereign light The sphere ridden of burden But how long can this reign hold For the traitor has not been ridden How long can this light reign The treachery of time … behold |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by noble4d(m): 9:33am On Oct 22, 2014 |
AD30LA: what type of poem is this? it appears like Horatian ode... |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 1:08pm On Oct 22, 2014 |
THE TREACHERY OF TIME. (by Odukoya A. Adeola) When the sight becomes blurry When the light becomes history When darkness engulf the sphere When the most vivid becomes unclear Normalcy changes its hides Nocturnal become prevailing Even the lousy man hides Gently under the shield of his ceiling Darkness at the peak of dominance Birds enmute their songy vocal chords In fear of the foggy occupance A fear strong enough to chase the mighty sun But despair not the tyranny of darkness For its reign depends solely on time Whose loyalty’s modified by clime It’s perfidy cleanse the air of hoplessness For once the traitor strikes The dark tyrant becomes forgotten Replaced by the sovereign light The sphere ridden of burden But how long can this reign hold For the traitor has not been ridden How long can this light reign The treachery of time … behold |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 1:14pm On Oct 22, 2014 |
That was a typographical error, its all in quatrains. |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by beegurl(f): 1:24pm On Oct 22, 2014 |
Lovely poem. U re good, nice work |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by OMA4U(m): 4:30pm On Oct 22, 2014 |
https://www.nairaland.com/1954571/nairaland-collaborative-poetry-competition-season#27358574 You are welcome to Nairaland Collaborative Poetry Competition Season One. Click the link above to join us. It's gonna be fun! |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 8:04am On Oct 23, 2014 |
noble4d:That is the product, when ballad quatrain, is mixed with heroic and memoriam quatrains. 1 Like |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 1:53pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
beegurl:thanks |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 1:55pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
I was banned because of a word I used in the poem I was trying to post. I never knew football without foot was flagged. |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by texanomaly(f): 1:59pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
AD30LA: Lol...depends on what you mean by "ball". 1 Like |
Re: The Birth Of A Poet by AD30LA: 2:30pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
: texanomaly:actually I meant it literally, but I added 's' try adding 's' and see if it won't get flagged |
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