10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It - Family - Nairaland
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| 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by DanjaNinja(m): 10:01am On Oct 19, 2014 |
[size=14pt]10 ways you are being unfaithful to your spouse — and you don't even know it[/size] Having an affair is not even on your radar. Never gonna happen. You love your spouse and you'd never be unfaithful to her or him. However, you may be unaware of other ways you are being unfaithful. If these actions continue, you may find yourself on the slippery slope that leads to that never-intended affair and a sorrow you never wanted in your life. Unfaithfulness usually creeps in through the back door, disguising itself as harmless fun or innocent behavior. If you want your marriage to endure and be filled with happiness you may need to check this list to see if you have fallen prey to any of these unfaithful behaviors. 1. Flirting Having a little playful fun at the office with a co-worker can't be too bad, you may rationalize. After all, flirting is fun. Avoid it like the plague. It's dangerous. If someone flirts with you, ignore it. What falls into the category of flirting? Here's one explanation of what flirting is. "[It] usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though within the rules of social etiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest. This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony... Body language can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, etc." Married people should never engage in this type of behavior with anyone other than their spouse. It is a full-on form of unfaithfulness that leads to no good. The one you're flirting with may take it as an invitation and pursue a relationship you never intended. 2. Confiding in the opposite gender When you pour out your troubles to someone of the opposite gender you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. It may seem harmless. After all, you just needed a shoulder to cry on. If you've got a problem, talk about it with your spouse. That's your best-ever shoulder to cry on. If that's not working for you, try a trusted relative, clergyman, or therapist. Not someone who may consider this an invitation for intimacy. Even if it doesn't start that way, too often it ends that way. It's a form of unfaithfulness. 3. Spending time alone with someone else What appears to be an innocent lunch out with someone of the opposite sex or stopping by for a chat at that someone's home without your spouse is definitely in the category of unfaithful behavior. You or the other person may say, "Hey, we're both adults. Nothing's going to happen." Well, things do happen. It's not appropriate. Go home and spend that time with your spouse. 4. Talking negatively about your mate When you are a true friend to someone you never say bad things about them to others. Your mate is your best friend and is the last person you should ever talk about negatively. If you have a beef with your honey, talk it out with him or her. Let your conversations with others focus on the good things about your spouse. That's being faithful. The exception here is abuse. If abuse is happening it needs to be reported to a trusted friend, counselor, and the police. You must keep yourself safe. 5. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex If you think this is harmless, think again. It may start out that way, but it definitely won't end that way. Some have engaged in what they considered innocent talk with a former boyfriend or girlfriend from high school or college days, or even a stranger. One thing can lead to another and before you know it, your marriage is in jeopardy. Don't do it. It will only end in sorrow and heartbreak for your family. 6. Dressing to attract the attention of someone other than your spouse If you're dressing up to look good for someone else, you need to reexamine your motives. Trying to attract someone else by wearing a sexy looking outfit is one more way to jump into unfaithful waters. 7. Writing personal intimate notes or letters to someone else If you're writing a letter of condolence or congratulations, or other good wishes, let it be from both you and your spouse. Then there will be no misunderstanding about your intentions. 8. Not being a willing sexual partner with your spouse Being faithful to your spouse means giving yourself over to him or her to enjoy the intimate side of your marriage. To withhold sexual intimacy from your spouse if not doing your part in keeping your marriage strong and fulfilling. It creates sorrow and even suspicion. Being a faithful spouse means doing your part to make it a beautiful relationship in all aspects. 9. Putting your parents before your spouse Your spouse must always be the number one person in your life. If something wonderful happens to you, like a promotion, a confirmation of a pregnancy, or any other good news, you may be tempted to immediately call a parent to share in the joy. Resist. Let your spouse be the first to know your good news. Then share it with others. 10. Putting your children before your spouse Kids matter. They are very important people in your life, but not more important than your spouse. If you knock your spouse off the top of your priority list you are not showing total fidelity to him or her. Your mate must come first. Not only does it cement your marriage and make it stronger, it gives your children the best security blanket they will ever have. Check yourself on these points and make sure you are being 100 percent faithful to your spouse. By doing this you will create a genuinely happy and fulfilling marriage. Source: http://familyshare.com/10-ways-you-are-being-unfaithful-to-your-spouse-and-you-dont-even-know-it
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| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by vanbonattel: 10:06am On Oct 19, 2014 |
because you have spouse you now become enemy of all, primitive mentality 1 Like |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by walexGodson(m): 10:06am On Oct 19, 2014 |
Ok |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by DanjaNinja(m): 10:11am On Oct 19, 2014 |
vanbonattel: You miss the point of the post. The idea is not to isolate yourself but to prevent possible circumstances that may lead to infidelity. You can argue all you want, but we both know the truth.  4 Likes |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Jnrbayerno(m): 10:12am On Oct 19, 2014 |
I hear |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Jnrbayerno(m): 10:12am On Oct 19, 2014 |
I see |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Wittylens(m): 10:23am On Oct 19, 2014 |
OK.. I agree with 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 But 5 & 10  5 - Chatting on the internet with opposite gender dosent mean I'm cheating. The person could be my business partner or old time colleague or my sister. Or is it bad to chat with my sister just because I have a spouse? 10 - As long as I'm not giving much of my attention to someone else outside the family , I don't see why she should bother if I give my children too much attention. Afterall , its also her children. |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Lumyboi(m): 10:34am On Oct 19, 2014 |
vanbonattel: So nt flirtin or confiding in d opposite sex mkes u an enemy? |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by farano(f): 10:46am On Oct 19, 2014 |
Ok spouse |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by gistmelove(m): 11:08am On Oct 19, 2014 |
Comfam!!! Mod before i open my eyes.. Move to front page |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by mesoade(m): 11:26am On Oct 19, 2014 |
I don't agree with that number 2(confiding in the opposite sex) if i have a serious issue and i know my spouse isn't in the best position to meet for advice . . I'll rather ask my friend of the opposite sex for advice than my male friends. Male friends don't usually take things serious.tell them a serious issue and you'll end up laffing with the joke they'll make out of it. But friends of the opposite sex tends to be more serious. And that your no.5 is flawed 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by sammieguze(m): 12:00pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
I disagree completely wit items 5, 9 and 10. |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Nobody: 3:16pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
Summary: Stay away from the opposite sex after marriage |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Agrika: 4:43pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
Hmmmm |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by EmmaOgbu(m): 4:48pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
. |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by DanjaNinja(m): 7:24pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
Wittylens: Like i said earlier, the essence of this post is not to isolate yourself after marriage but to serve as a guide to prevent possible circumstances that may lead to infidelity. You don't have to agree with the post, neither do you have to follow the above instructions to the letter. Just be open-minded and objectively consider the above recommendations. Apply "common sense" wherever you deem necessary. 5 - Chatting on the internet with opposite gender dosent mean I'm cheating. The person could be my business partner or old time colleague or my sister. Or is it bad to chat with my sister just because I have a spouse? We both know there's nothing wrong with chatting with the opposite sex on the internet. To prevent communication with the opposite sex is both immature and unrealistic. However, the post recommends that after marriage, be cautious of "continuous" communication with members of the opposite sex, ESPECIALLY those you once a romantic relationship with. This issue begs the question "can a man and a woman just be friends"? While a man and a woman can definitely be "just friends", you have to acknowledge it takes caution and maturity. 10 - As long as I'm not giving much of my attention to someone else outside the family , I don't see why she should bother if I give my children too much attention. Afterall , its also her children My friend, Balance is the key. In otherwords, there's is time for everything. Excessive focus on your kids without considering your spouse would definitely lead to problems with your spouse. You married your spouse because you love him/her and you decided to spend the rest of your life with them. I repeat, "Spend the rest of your life with them" and not ignore them because of "the kids". In summary, spend all the time you want with the kids but remember to honor "couple time". Talk with your spouse and spend lots of time together. Failure to do so will result in problems. An inconsiderate spouse would look elsewhere to satisfy the gap your lack of attention has created. Did i make sense? 1 Like |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by DanjaNinja(m): 7:52pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
mesoade: I don't completely agree with you. If all your male friends make jests of serious matters, then i believe you need new set of male friends. Truth is, your spouse cannot and will not know it all and you will definitely have good female friends. What you need to remember though is to be mindful of your relationship with your "close" female friends - especially those you confide in. |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by DanjaNinja(m): 7:52pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by DanjaNinja(m): 7:53pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
Odilafta: Not necessarily. Just be cautious. Thats all. |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by sammieguze(m): 9:51pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Wittylens(m): 10:14pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
DanjaNinja: Hmm.. You try.. I understand you 1 Like |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by DanjaNinja(m): 11:42pm On Oct 19, 2014 |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Kimikazi2: 5:08am On Oct 20, 2014 |
Odilafta:So all friends of opposite sex should turn to enemies because someone is feeling insecure? Remember that I chose my spouse over everyone else so there is no need for that. What you people need to preach is moderation. |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Nobody: 7:32am On Oct 20, 2014 |
A female friend could exert a positive impact on my life, as much as anyone would, so why try to avoid her chit-chats and views? It doesn't make sense to me. You lot need to stop fanning the embers of this prevelant notion that men are sex pigs who'll phuck anything with a hole. There are still great husbands out there who knows what they want. And yes, given the percentage of people who fall somewhere on the bisexual spectrum, all people should be EQUALLY concerned about their spouses having friendships with people of any sex not just the opposite sex. 1 Like |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Nobody: 7:34am On Oct 20, 2014 |
Kimikazi2: Moderation and keeping the right opposite sex friends. 2 Likes |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by MizMyColi(f): 7:57am On Oct 20, 2014 |
Oh well, everyone's agreeing and disagreeing. My Take? I neither disagree nor agree. I'm a strong proponent of the following sayings: There is a spirit in man, the inspiration of the almighty gives him understanding.....understanding of what qualifies as emotional infidelity and what doesn't. WISDOM is always profitable to direct. |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Nobody: 12:29pm On Oct 20, 2014 |
AirborneLacer:+1 |
| Re: 10 Ways You Are Being Unfaithful To Your Spouse — And You Don't Even Know It by Nobody: 12:31pm On Oct 20, 2014 |
DanjaNinja: |
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