TEACHER: Why are you late?
Lauryn: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
Lauryn: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”


TEACHER: Lauryn, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
Lauryn: You told me to do it without using tables!


TEACHER: Lauryn, how do you spell “crocodile”?
Lauryn: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
Lauryn: Maybe it’s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!


TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
Lauryn: “HIJKLMNO”!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Lauryn: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!


TEACHER: Scorpio, go to the map and find North America.
Scorpio: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Lauryn, who discovered America?
Bamendaboy: : Scorpio!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER: Lauryn, why do you always get so dirty?
Lauryn: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Lauryn: Don’t bite any.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER: Lauryn, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
Lauryn: I is,
TEACHER: No, Lauryn. Always say, “I am.”
Lauryn: All right, “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
Lauryn: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime.”


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
Lauryn: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Lauryn: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair of the same at home

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Lauryn: Brotherly love.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: Now, Lauryn, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Lauryn : No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: Lauryn, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did u copy his?
Lauryn: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Lauryn: A teacher .

Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school.
Lauryn: I heard the milkman say to my mum,"After your kid leaves for school, I'm going to eat your p#$@y".

is this a joke? is it for someone?

too funny

this shiit is so funny culdn't stop laughin

roflmao *dies*

lmao, na so crase dey start ni

very funny

hilarious, the last one almost threw me outt@ my chair wit laughter

omg!, dis is funny

the last one is a killer

@ leftee nice work dude

The last one -

this is so funny _{*laughing till in tears*}

i had tears in my eyes.

Now this is funny. SCorpio found america!

lol

@ Leftee
abi e ti fa gbo yo ni, ti m ba gba yin mu. U dey try my patience o, u dey do your own naw o. Scorpio, u be witness and some other Nairaland members.


Even  though most of them are actually things I would say, doesnt mean u should expose me on a Public forum aiight,,,we were'nt all born equal, aiight?.
Na only Amadioha go deal with your case, seriously

5:0
I suggest you get even

@ Kajad
U bet I will

Way to go girl!
_{Will be waiting by the side to hail you}

Maybe not on NL. But I'll tell u all about it later, aiight

Sure darling knew I could depend on you anytime anywhere.

men, this is funny, I couldn't stop laughing, nice one

Hotstepper:

men, this is funny, I couldn't stop laughing, nice one

yo! wat's gud with u?

This is really hilarious,
Well lauryn was honest enough

Oh mi god!! I can't stop laughing. Are u a born-comedian?

lauryn:

@ Leftee
abi e ti fa gbo yo ni, ti m ba gba yin mu. U dey try my patience o, u dey do your own naw o. Scorpio, u be witness and some other Nairaland members.


Even though most of them are actually things I would say, doesnt mean u should expose me on a Public forum aiight,,,we were'nt all born equal, aiight?.
Na only Amadioha go deal with your case, seriously

Its so unfair of leftee to do a thing like this to lauryn. The fact that both of u attended the same school doesn't mean u should expose her like that.

Thank u oh my sista , _{but u know its a joke right?}

Dere I:

Its so unfair of leftee to do a thing like this to lauryn. The fact that both of u attended the same school doesn't mean u should expose her like that.

lmao

Jus saw diz --it's so funny

I'v got dis jokes too in my colectns, n can't stop goin thru it al ova. Its kul.

Too funny

i lyk the last one