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My Conversations With The "Mber" Months: A New Month Short Story - Literature - Nairaland

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My Conversations With The "Mber" Months: A New Month Short Story by Nobody: 4:45am On Nov 01, 2014
grin grin

Just finished having conversation with November and his friends. It goes thus...

NB: The following conversation takes place between 3a.m to 4a.m November 1, 2014.

November: Hi, Sammy, come and mount on my back.
Sammy Hoe: For what?
November: So I can carry you.
Sammy Hoe: To where?
November: To greater height.
Sammy Hoe: Greater height?
November: Yeah, sure.
Sammy Hoe: (speaks pidgin) Hope say me nor go fall down from there sha?
November: (shakes his head and responded in Igbo(mba)
Sammy Hoe: Because me dey fear great height o, especially mountain top.
November: (grins and speak pidgin) Me nor go let you fall. From today till next 30 days you go jus dey jolificate so tey...
Sammy Hoe: After 30 days nko?
November: Na my elder brother go fit answer that one o(calling...)
December: I am here.
November: Handing Sammy over to you, he has a question to ask you.
December: Hi Sammy.
Sammy Hoe: Hi December, how your side?
December: Well, fine in advance sha.
Sammy Hoe (with mouth wide agape) Why you say in advance now.
December: Because my time has not come yet.
Sammy Hoe: Okay o(clears throat) November talk say na you go carry me after 30 days. So I wan ask you which height you go carry me reach.
December: Where I go carry you reach is immesurable o.
Sammy Hoe(grins) The sky is the limit abi?
December: (shakes his head) Mba.
Sammy Hoe (grotesque) what!!!
December: The sky is just the beginning o.
Sammy Hoe: Ha! Me dey fear great height o.
December: Na normal thing(laughing). If your dreams don't scare you then it is not a big dream. u never read the motivation wey tok say, our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate... bla bla bla...
Sammy Hoe (slightly annoyed) Please finish the quotation nah.
December: September and October suppose don teach you that one nah.
Sammy Hoe: I don't think they taught me anything o.
(September and October shouts from off stage)
September & October: We sat you down to teach you but you were too busy to listen!!
Sammy Hoe (grins and scratches head) Can I come back now?
September&October (speaks in Igbo) Mba!!!
December: Opportunity knocks but once Sammy. What you can do is face the future ahead of you, and face your present with November.
Sammy Hoe: Eem....er...erh(scratches head. Sammy Hoe changed the topic) But why all of una like to dey say mba instead of 'no'?
September, October, November and December: Because we are all Mber months!!!
Sammy Hoe: But people tok say na una time bad bad things dey happen, eg..accidents, etc.
Mber Months: (Laughing) Don't mind them jare. Whatever you believe is what you will achieve now. Na dia belief be dat nah; Na why most of them no go fit live to see January be that.
Sammy Hoe:So...anything I say go happen to me?
Mber Months: Exactly!!!
Sammy Hoe (soberly) MBER months are My Best Ever Recorded months oooooo!!!
Mber Months: Amen!!!
Sammy Hoe: MBER for me is Months of Big Excellent Reward.
Mber Month: Amin o Jesu!!!
Sammy Hoe (observing) But October...bros, you nor suppose dey among the Mber Months nah!
October: Biko! Why you kon hate me like that nah? Wetin I do you nah?
Sammy Hoe: Your own name nor end with Mber nah!
October: Wetin kon end am?
Sammy Hoe: Na BER, no be MBER.
October: (playfully) Sammy nor vex me o. Nor even tok that yarn for wia omo IBO dey.
Sammy Hoe:I fit tok am anywhere, Na OBER end your name no be MBER.
October: Na MBER, no be OBER(calling Omo IBO). Come o Omo Ibo make you helep us clear dis matter one time!!!
Omo Ibo: (screams from afar) I dey come o!!!(Omo IBO arrives). I hail o bros Octomber, why you dey call me nah?
(everyone laughs)
October(laughing): I call you say make u kon help us confirm something ni o.
Omo Ibo: (eager) Wetin be that o!
October: Nor worry again, you don confirm am already.
Omo Ibo: Shoooow!!! Broda Octomber, Na like dis you wan dey take me do yeye in front of dis new month ( points to November).
October: Sorry, but sincerely you don confirm the thing already. You fit dey go now.
(everyone laughs).
Omo Ibo: (leaving the scene, soliloquizing) Walahi, dat Octomber get wahala die. Thank God say November don come. Very soon now, December go come, we go celebrate Xmas. New year go follow am for Jenuwari, Febuwari go follow am...
October:So, Sammy you see your life(pokes Sammy funnily)
Sammy Hoe: Oga go Sidon jare. You don expire joor. As a matter of fact, na only Omo IBO recognise you as Octomber.
October: I don expire abi?(he snaps his finger) We go meet next year nah.
Sammy Hoe: (slightly afraid) Na true o! For independent day abi?
October: Sure nah!!(October exited)
November: Now back to present Sammy...
Sammy Hoe: Wait first...(Looking towards October's direction).
November: Sammie!! Face me and forget about the past jare!!!
Sammy Hoe: Come o...you sure say October nor go waylay me next year like this. I fear im threat o.
November: (laughing) October be the most friendly person for this naija since 1960 wey naija become independent. So, that is why naija dey celebrate am first day im dey show face every year.
Sammy Hoe: October 1?
November: Exactly! Sammy let's leave talk talk alone for now make we begin do wetin we go do in the next 30 days jooor. You know say we must cover the syllabus o.
Sammy Hoe: How we go start now?
November: Let's start with our manual or user guide.
Sammy Hoe: Wetin be that?
November: Bible...abi you don forget am?
Sammy Hoe: (sighs)
November: Na so u do last month wey you nearly regret am. You wan do same with me? After you go say How you wish you can go to the past to make right something wrong. If you nor start your month with the word of God how you nor go regret? Oya...afara...go bring your bible now now, else wetin happen for 1921 go repeat hinsef.
Sammy Hoe: Wetin?
November: leave that one for another time...nor be my mouth you go hear am(bringing out pankere). Oya...Sammy...run go bring your bible or chop cane.
(Sammy Hoe fled to bring his bible)
November: Now let's get more serious. No more pidgin again. Speak pure English...now open to the book of Genesis chapter 1 vs 1...begin read am...
(Sammy Hoe reads and didn't want to stop).
Sammy Hoe: (After 1 hour)Kai! ( looks round but didn't see November) this word of God sweet die.
November: Tru tok, but I tok say no more yarning broken English. U just yarn am again.
Sammy Hoe: Which one you dey yarn?
November: ha! Na true o(smiling)
Sammy Hoe: Hmm...I like your happy face o. Happy November. Happy New Month!

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Re: My Conversations With The "Mber" Months: A New Month Short Story by Leebliss13(m): 1:08pm On Nov 10, 2014
Re: My Conversations With The "Mber" Months: A New Month Short Story by Nobody: 1:58am On Nov 12, 2014
How far my real friend? Are you on EBIAG?
Re: My Conversations With The "Mber" Months: A New Month Short Story by Nobody: 5:16am On Nov 12, 2014
[code=Click here] (www.ebiag.com)[/code]

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