pickabeau1:

Wow....was the person a male or female?

Male oh. What even got to me was he had a family.

I really stuck my neck out, my senior ogas had candidates but I begged and begged, only for him to go back to these same Ogas and try to paint me bad. They came back to me and started laughing at me asking me to see my so called brother oh and what he is saying about me. It was heartbreaking. All I was trying to do was to get him to learn the job as fast as possible so when they test him for confirmation he wont be found wanting he was more interested in social media and I becAme a witch.

It is well jare.

It has passed.

Going by such methink alot of people are having one funy tales or the other after helping somebody. It is well even in the well.

aisha2:


Male oh. What even got to me was he had a family.

I really stuck my neck out, my senior ogas had candidates but I begged and begged, only for him to go back to these same Ogas and try to paint me bad. They came back to me and started laughing at me asking me to see my so called brother oh and what he is saying about me. It was heartbreaking. All I was trying to do was to get him to learn the job as fast as possible so when they test him for confirmation he wont be found wanting he was more interested in social media and I becAme a witch.

It is well jare.

It has passed.

Strange....
A family man?
Just goes to show humans are unpredictable

pickabeau1:


Wow....was the person a male or female?

Oga pause it dia! you want to start a gender bashing war abi?
Abi is this an ongoing research?

Gboliwe:


Oga pause it dia! you want to start a gender bashing war abi?
Abi is this an ongoing research?

No.....no gender ish

The underlying assumption here was that females were more ungrateful
Her case shows it is not so


However I guess females r the greater culprit cos they r used to people doing things for them

pickabeau1:


No.....no gender ish

The underlying assumption here was that females were more ungrateful
Her case shows it is not so


However I guess females r the greater culprit cos they r used to people rowing things for them

Just imagine

Whether you want to help her again or not is up to you. You have to feel good about the decision you make in this situation. You are not obliged to help her but I would admire you if you did because I probably would not help her a second time.

I think the lady is very rude and lacks good manners. Her attitude and her lack of gratitude will get her into trouble in life.

[quote author=bellong post=28150378]Share the info with her not minding her ungratefulness after which you sign out completely out of her life.

One of the lessons to learn in life, never expect your good deeds to be appreciated by everyone you help. Infact, some will label you evil and plot evil against you for helping them. It shouldn't stop you from doing good. You will not be rewarded by them but by God.

Very true. And while we are at it, let us also remember that God does so much for us daily. How many times do we say thank you to him? Daily? Only on Sundays and Fridays? Some even wait for Christmas to do thanksgiving. Yet we are all appalled when the lady in question said she wanted to wait till her confirmation. God help us.

the best way to give, is to give without expecting anything in return, not even gratitude since its not everyone who will show that.

She told you clearly that you are not her God and her destiny is not in your hand so please let her be.
This type of person will even give you a kick in the butt if they had a chance.
We have all made our experiences in life and the biggest kicks are often from the people you help the most. Leaches that even penetrate your privacy and home and then turn around to spit at you.

The bible teaches us, do not take the food for the children and throw it to the swines...... You know the rest.
What maddens me about such people is not their ingratitude.
What maddens me is that the burn the bridges after crossing them, by so doing no one else has a chance to cross. If she was grateful you would have been encouraged to help others in the future.
please keep on helping where you can because out there are people worthy of help.
In 1994 my daughter at age 1 plus started chocking, I rushed her to the clinic, at that time I was living in VI, in Nigeria. While waiting for a doctor I saw a man slumped on the floor, his wife crying. I asked the nurse what was wrong and she said they did not have any money. They needed 10,000 Naira. I gave the wife the money with my address- told her to return it when her husband had recovered and worked to save the money. I never took their Identities or where they lived. / Months later the man , wife and kids came visiting all dressed up to return the money. As the left I gave the money to the little kids. I told the man that he had given me faith to believe in humans and I would always remember this gesture of appreciation. Yes he gave me something worth that money. Faith in mankind.
So please just keep helping, anything God gave us, we have to use to praise him.

Sorry I sounded so harsh, just had to remember some similar experiences that got me upset

People are different.

Some people appreciate things no matter how little these things are and some people just dont and think its their right.

What I do know is that only God can repay good deeds. Humans will be humans and if people relay on other people only, one will just continuously be dissapointed.

Please dont stop doing good. Your own children too may benefit from someone elses kindness one day.

2cato:
I will suggest you forget her and continue helping people. Some body came to my store to grind wheat and we aggreed on N150 after grinding it he gave me N100 and begged me that he is coming back to pay N50 only for him to return with the union member and i was finned N5000.

Now this is bad. And we wonder why people are getting mean these days,it's because of past experience. I can imagine how you felt

This reminds me of somethings that happened in my hostel during predegree,it part of the reason i will never lend money to anybody no matter how small.Imagine lending money to a person to help him and when it time for him to pay the money refuses to do so even though he has the money and still be claiming useless right.

This story may not be complete because according to the op; 'SHE SAID DURING HER NYSC, A GUY MADE SURE SHE HAD EVERYTHING SHE WANTED BUT NEVER FOR A SINGLE DAY ASKED FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN'. I honestly think the above is a clear indication that the op may have asked for 'something' in return . Maybe that's why the girl decided to blank him out completely.

But still, the girl was rude

soonest:

Now this is bad. And we wonder why people are getting mean these days,it's because of past experience. I can imagine how you felt

I think for grinding you have to stick within the set guidelines.


You can either grind for free on occasion or just collect the stipulated price, but you can't reduce it without consequences.


Lord have mercy sha.

The major problem I have with you telling her is that this type of information should be confidential and should only come from her boss, not from a colleague talkless of an outsider. If you tell her, she can easily use the information to blackmail her boss and your contact that told you. Hearing her appraisal from an outsider will certainly put her bosses in trouble.

In the interest of these ones, I would say you should keep mute about whatever you've heard.

I think you should just steer clear of anything that concerns her, she may be seeing you as her enemy already-getting news like this across to her can even result in more resentment. You've already confirmed her ungratefulness, another lesson isn't necessary. Remember once bitten, twice shy. Goodluck!

bigheart2013:


I have really thought of the bolded but didn't want to look childish and petty. She said a lot of nasty, unprintable things I can't post here. I was just being civil in describing her utterances on the phone. She's super ungrateful! She even tried to compare me with some men she claimed built houses for some female celebrities but don't go about singing their praises...also said during her NYSC, a guy made sure she had everything she wanted but never for a single day ask for anything in return....that she will respect that man forever....SMH! I felt like a piece of used up and dumped shit when she said that!

Listen to good counsel. Let her go. Do not call her. Accept that you did good for God's pleasure. Anything after that is vanity.
Let go

Kimoni:
The major problem I have with you telling her is that this type of information should be confidential and should only come from her boss, not from a colleague talkless of an outsider. If you tell her, she can easily use the information to blackmail her boss and your contact that told you. Hearing her appraisal from an outsider will certainly put her bosses in trouble.

In the interest of these ones, I would say you should keep mute about whatever you've heard.

True.... I agree with this.

Op, don't tell her in the interest of innocent parties not because she was ungrateful.

299:
This story may not be complete because according to the op; 'SHE SAID DURING HER NYSC, A GUY MADE SURE SHE HAD EVERYTHING SHE WANTED BUT NEVER FOR A SINGLE DAY ASKED FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN'. I honestly think the above is a clear indication that the op may have asked for 'something' in return . Maybe that's why the girl decided to blank him out completely.

I did not ask her for anything, and would never ask her for anything inappropriate. I mentioned she was once my neighbor meaning I knew her dates (bfs) and parents so well. What I didn't know was this other side of her. She was not the first person God has lifted up using me. Ordinarily I would not bother myself with someone like that. My frustration only underscores my shock. I always thought she was a well-mannered lady.

2cato:
excatly. But he begged me that he is coming back with the balance

Wow!!! It's all good though. I'm sure you will no longer trust any of your customers because they can be potential spies as well.

All the best!

bigheart2013:
".. When you show appreciation it is not about you. You are encouraging and motivating the person you showed appreciation to keep doing good to others. That way the society gets better.".. Someone once said saying ‘Thank you’ is what makes the United States a land of charity & benevolence.

A young lady from the Eastern part of Nigeria who used to be my neighbor at Lagos approached me several months ago at Lagos and complained she’s wasting away since graduation 2 years ago because she couldn’t get a good job. I gave her most of my Aptitude test preparatory and GMAT books and encouraged her to study and pass bank aptitude tests, then call me. She did pass. I called all my friends and begged them to push her in. Suddenly, I didn’t hear from her any longer for over Four months. I later ran into her friend who told me she got hired as a full staff in one of the old-generation banks in Lagos through one of the contacts I gave her. The lady was even begging me to please help her too. I was a bit shocked and called her, she picked the call and was a bit cold ‘professional’ on the phone. She promised to call back when she was free from work. She never did. Almost a week later she sent a few line text that she forgot to call back. She’s been very busy and comes back late. I replied that I only wanted to know how she’s doing and if she got the job. She replied with one line “Yes, thanks a lot for your help by the way”.

I shared this story with one of my friends who helped her. He said that makes a big difference between helping a Nigerian man and a Nigerian woman. The men will always remember who got them there and even call you 'my Oga' forever, while the young ladies will always feel entitled that you did it because they were beautiful. I suspect the man told her I wasn’t too pleased with her. She called me last week and blew hot and cold ranting saying Nobody is God, her glory goes to God not to men, that if it’s not the will of God it would not happen…bla, bla, bla, that she was planning to call and thank me specially after her confirmation…we exchanged words and she later de-friended me on Facebook.
Anyway, I just heard through a very reliable Manager that a senior manager said she may not be confirmed if she doesn’t start doing certain things right in the next few months. I have not shared this confidential information with her and don’t feel like, yet my conscience tells me to inform her.

Mister, stop stalking the damn lady! If you "assist" her once again and she cant even remember your names the next time you see her, what will you do? You will put up a billboard to let everyone know how ungrateful she was? In Yoruba palance, whoever fails to acknowledge an earlier gratitude shouldn't expect another one. A beg erase the lady from your mind, she is not worth your time.

Dapo4u:


Mister, stop stalking the damn lady! If you "assist" her once again and she cant even remember your names the next time you see her, what will you do? You will put up a billboard to let everyone know how ungrateful she was? In Yoruba palance, whoever fails to acknowledge an earlier gratitude shouldn't expect another one. A beg erase the lady from your mind, she is not worth your time.

am aint looking 4 fight but it seems u av comprehension problem... Person wey b im neighbor... Read again, assimilate, understand b4 u spout anything next tym cos wat u wrote above might b an insult to a sincere gentleman integrity.

mutter:


In 1994 my daughter at age 1 plus started chocking, I rushed her to the clinic, at that time I was living in VI, in Nigeria. While waiting for a doctor I saw a man slumped on the floor, his wife crying. I asked the nurse what was wrong and she said they did not have any money. They needed 10,000 Naira. I gave the wife the money with my address- told her to return it when her husband had recovered and worked to save the money. I never took their Identities or where they lived. / Months later the man , wife and kids came visiting all dressed up to return the money. As the left I gave the money to the little kids. I told the man that he had given me faith to believe in humans and I would always remember this gesture of appreciation. Yes he gave me something worth that money. Faith in mankind.
So please just keep helping, anything God gave us, we have to use to praise him.

Wow! Quite motivating and reinforcing. I bless God for people like the above.

Some people think I care much about appreciation or 'thank you' from the lady. Honestly that will not add or remove from my height. I did not lose any money on her so I really didn't lose anything. Rather it's that 'burning bridge' part for other people who may need help. Please whenever you are ungrateful note that you are burning the bridge for people coming behind you.

Mutaino7:
am aint looking 4 fight but it seems u av comprehension problem... Person wey b im neighbor... Read again, assimilate, understand b4 u spout anything next tym cos wat u wrote above might b an insult to a sincere gentleman integrity.

@ Mutaino7, sorry you misinterpreted my comment as an insult, no pun intended though. I read OP's story between the lines, and he appears to me as someone matured and with a good character. Definitely, OP was shocked by the young lady's discreditable lack of good character and verbal altercation; I will be shocked too. So, thinking of calling such a lady to assist/ or inform her of what someone said about 'confirmation of job status' is unnecessary and it appears to me as "stalking?"