I always hear this statement and In a way it is one that I agree with.Being Friends with your spouse is one thing that sustains a marriage when the whole honeymoon phase passes

I just think phrases like 'if you have to invite your best friend to your wedding you are marrying the wrong person'(saw a meme with that on Instagram with zillions of likes ) is just beginning to take that cliche a bit too far.Of course you need to marry someone who is your friend but does that truly mean being married means you can't have other people who you hold dear?

I can't say I have a best friend per se and these days based on who I get to interact with the most yeah my husband could said to be my best friend.We talk alot, have similar interests, laugh together, make jokes tease and taunt each other etc etc.I guess life and family commitments has made it that way these days but I still have very dear friends (mostly female and 1 male me and hubby actually met through him) who are actually like my family. We don't get to see or talk as much as before(I am bad with keeping in touch but I try) but when we see its like we never lost touch.As at the time we got married I could say one in particular (we have been friends since we were children) and she had seen me through my best and worst times even more than my husband.Maybe not the case now years down the line but at the time on the friend scale preference she would have probably scored a few more points than hubby.

I know some people who actually have BFFs who are not their spouses but does that really mean they don't have happy marriages? Or what if you think your spouse is your best friend but they still have another friend who they can also bare their soul to? You know those friends who have been through everything together. Or what of spouses who try to break that best friend bond has with the other person forcefully?

I hear so many people say 'there are no real friends your children and your spouse are your friends' which could be true as indeed human beings can be terrible BUT can one really get all the social interaction one needs from just your spouse and children? I Know some people are ok with that but with some is that not too much of a burden to place on the spouse and even your children?

Your views are welcome everyone.

Ideally, I feel your spouse should be your best friend!

My hubby was my friend for a long period of time b4 we started dating and eventually got married. We are likes peas in a pod. My friend got married 6 months after she met her partner and they are now inseparable. U can get married to ur best friend(opposite sex) or develop friendship wen u get married.

If He/she won't be your best friend, who will?

HE is my best male friend but I have also two females as my best friends.

He has got a male best friend.

I can't replace his male best friend and I don't want to.

If Someone you see everyday can't be your best friend,I wonder who will?

Who's a best friend? The person you're happiest to be with. The person who knows you more than any other. The person you know more than any other. The person who's always got your back. The person you share your joys with first. The person that comforts your sorrows first. The person you tell your deepest darkest dankest thoughts too. And so on and so forth.



If this person ain't your spouse, you're in for a long thing.

They may not be your bestie before you get married but they had better be after you say I do or you just placed a bur in your marriage. A bur is that tiny imperfection on a smooth surface that irritates the snot out of you everytime you rub your hand over it. Sooner or later it begins to tear skin. You wouldn't want that in a marriage, will you?

for your own good, I say a very big YES. SOJJAS wii come and go but your spouse will should remain

how do you even court someone that isn't your best friend?? nor be boredom go "do us part" before the main wedding ke

No.

I mean, if you're married to and/or dating/marrying your best friend that's great whatever works, but I've personally always made a distinction between my best friends, and my S/O. Wonderful though they are, I wouldn't date any of my best friends (male among them anyway) anymore than I would tag my S/O as some sort of chief 'bestie', or whatnot, among them.

In my mind, he's his own separate category.

We're not "two peas in a pod" as an above user described it - the attraction and chemistry is def there, but we've divergent interests/hobbies/personalities (tho they're some core similarities that bind us).

My 'EX', RIP, was the same way with the added element of the wild, otherworldly attraction and captivation that is first love's domain.

Observation: I've seen best friends fall for each other only to fall to pieces, so I don't think being 'besties' is necessarily relationship-salvaging.

Advice: If your spouse/fiancé/bf/gf is indeed your "best friend", take care that they not be your only [best] friend.

EnlightenedSoul:
No.

I mean, if you're married to and/or dating/marrying your best friend that's great whatever works, but I've personally always made a distinction between my best friends, and my S/O. Wonderful though they are, I wouldn't date any of my best friends (male among them anyway) anymore than I would tag my S/O as some sort of chief 'bestie', or whatnot, among them.

In my mind, he's his own separate category.

We're not "two peas in a pod" as an above user described it - the attraction and chemistry is def there, but we've divergent interests/hobbies/personalities (tho they're some core similarities that bind us).

My 'EX', RIP, was the same way with the added element of the wild, otherworldly attraction and captivation that is first love's domain.

Observation: I've seen best friends fall for each other only to fall to pieces, so I don't think being 'besties' is necessarily relationship-salvaging.

Advice: If your spouse/fiancé/bf/gf is indeed your "best friend", take care that they not be your only [best] friend.

Interesting advice

Mine is.

bukatyne:


Interesting advice

Mine is.

Nah, in my eyes an S/O can't be a best friend talk less of being my only best friend. That's two separate roles in one, and too much time spent. I need time away with my best friends, friends, and family, etc. I also need breathing space for myself.

Different strokes, I guess.

I've also found that men can rarely revert to being "just friends" post-relationship. After having broken up with someone (it was hella short-lived btw) we fell into a friendship only to have him pining on the sly, and pulling stunts years later. Still not sure how I missed it, but I def learned my lesson, lol.

EnlightenedSoul:


I've also found that men can rarely revert to being "just friends" post-relationship. After having broken up with someone (it was hella short-lived btw) we fell into a friendship only to have him pining on the sly, and pulling stunts years later. Still not sure how I missed it, but I def learned my lesson, lol.

I think it's the other way round , I always maintain a friends only relationship with exes but in many occasions ( don't take it to mean I'm the serial heart breaker ) the ladies start to develop old feelings and want to take it further. I have always found it hard to reciprocate feelings of love to anyone I do not love anymore ( note the clause though ). This has helped me to maintain my stance as a one man one woman kinda guy , I also do not do one night stands or have sex on a first date.

neoapocalypse:

I think it's the other way round , I always maintain a friends only relationship with exes but in many occasions ( don't take it to mean I'm the serial heart breaker ) the ladies start to develop old feelings and want to take it further. I have always found it hard to reciprocate feelings of love to anyone I do not love anymore ( note the clause though ). This has helped me to maintain my stance as a one man one woman kinda guy , I also do not do one night stands or have sex on a first date.

Mmm, I'd say it's definitely usually the guy (at least from what I've seen and experienced), but whichever way 'round, it's no longer possible to be friends. There's nothing else for it. You have to let 'em go completely.

I don't believe in so-called "friend-zoning". The minute I get the feeling you want 'more', you get the boot. That's the way it should be, IMO. It just isn't worth it otherwise, and it's unfair and way too much drama.

EnlightenedSoul:
No.

I mean, if you're married to and/or dating/marrying your best friend that's great whatever works, but I've personally always made a distinction between my best friends, and my S/O. Wonderful though they are, I wouldn't date any of my best friends (male among them anyway) anymore than I would tag my S/O as some sort of chief 'bestie', or whatnot, among them.

In my mind, he's his own separate category.

We're not "two peas in a pod" as an above user described it - the attraction and chemistry is def there, but we've divergent interests/hobbies/personalities (tho they're some core similarities that bind us).

My 'EX', RIP, was the same way with the added element of the wild, otherworldly attraction and captivation that is first love's domain.

Observation: I've seen best friends fall for each other only to fall to pieces, so I don't think being 'besties' is necessarily relationship-salvaging.

Advice: [b]I[/b]f your spouse/fiancé/bf/gf is indeed your "best friend", take care that they not be your only [best] friend.

Just saw this.. I totally agree. I really do believe placing the 'only' friend tag on another human being is a really big ask spouse or not.

damiso:



Just saw this.. I totally agree. I really do believe placing the 'only' friend tag on another human being is a really big ask spouse or not.

*double

damiso:



Just saw this.. I totally agree. I really do believe placing a the 'only' friend tag on another human being is a really big ask spouse or not.

I feel that you're essentially dumping everything (or most everything) on just one person that way. It also leaves you too vulnerable, spouse or not. It's healthier to have a few more people who're there for you, and you're also there for.

Whose arm would you rather be caught resting on?
Whose shoulders would you rather cry on?
Your spouse or a friend?
Who should be your best friend?