Igbo people, is this true about your culture?

'' am a Yoruba lady married to an igbo guy and we reside in the UK.

I recently lost and buried my father and my sister and i flew my mum to the UK to be with us so we can take care of her and she can rest for a little while while we sort out her new living arrangement back home without her husband of almost 50 yrs.


The plan was for her to spend a few weeks with my sister and her family, then come to mine and do the same before going back home.
Now my husband and in laws refused saying this is against their culture in igbo land that my mum can not sleep over in my home as it is against their tradition n culture for a widow to sleep over in her children's home until after at least 6 months.


This has caused so much bitterness and resentment in my heart towards my husband and his family as i feel i have been deprived of being there for my mum at the one time she needs me the most in her life. I am her closest daughter and this is a woman that has given all her life and never asked me for a favor or 1 kobo in her life.



My mum is Yoruba not igbo and we are all Christians too, supposed born again.
My igbo people conversant with igbo tradition and culture, are my emotions not in place? Am i overreacting? Is there really a culture like this? what exactly does it say? ''

http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2014/01/yoruba-wife-with-igbo-hubby-gets.html

if this is true of your culture, then this is the last card.
It is hard to believe that blind following of pagan traditions like these are still followed by even supposed christian igbos.
And this would just be another reason against marrying igbos besides their crazy pre-marital demands.

A repulsive superstition no doubt. I just hate it when people allow superstition to get them against their better judgement.

Otor ocha. Lemme write to them dearie

Lol, personally, I think Igbo chics are cool (the ones I know in real life, not the crazy ones on here) but it seems their culture is the only problem. It's just the same way I've got problems with the Yoruba excessive owanbe thing. But Yoruba chics on the other hand are emotional wrecks, with the biggest mouths ever.

If it were possible to have a cool headed Igbo chic, with Yoruba culture (without the excessive celebrations of everything) - that would be ideal. But the real world is the real world - and you can't keep dreaming.

2buff:
Igbo people, is this true about your culture?

http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2014/01/yoruba-wife-with-igbo-hubby-gets.html

if this is true of your culture, then this is the last card.
It is hard to believe that blind following of pagan traditions like these are still followed by even supposed christian igbos.
And this would just be another reason against marrying igbos besides their crazy pre-marital demands.

i doubt it's true & even if it is - it won't be a general practise and if it's a general practise, not all families would enmesh themselves in such archaic belief.

waiting for freecocoa to see this - she's my news correspondent in the eastern region.

ibos are traditionalists.
I have not seen any pure ibo Christian.

chiefinalowo:
ibos are traditionalists.
I have not seen any pure ibo Christian.

then you need to come out of your village. i have seen hundreds of igbo folks who are 100% pure christians.

coogar:


i doubt it's true & even if it is - it won't be a general practise and if it's a general practise, not all families would enmesh themselves in such archaic belief.

waiting for freecocoa to see this - she's my news correspondent in the eastern region.

What is wrong with this 2buff sef? He is starting to annoy me o, if he doesn't want to marry an igbo lady, then he shouldn't na. 2buff respect yourself.

Coogar, there are some traditions that many igbos still uphold just like any other tribe. I do know that a widow is supposed to mourn her dead hubby for a period of time, the duration of that time depends on different places/people and that was mainly in those days.

Nowadays, many families have moved on from such practices, it is no longer a must to do all those things, like I already said, it depends on the people involved.

freecocoa:
What is wrong with this 2buff sef? He is starting to annoy me o, if he doesn't want to marry an igbo lady, then he shouldn't na. 2buff respect yourself.

have you heard or read of this issue before?

freecocoa:
Coogar, there are some traditions that many igbos still uphold just like any other tribe. I do know that a widow is supposed to mourn her dead hubby for a period of time, the duration of that time depends on different places/people and that was mainly in those days.
Nowadays, many families have moved on from such practices, it is no longer a must to do all those things, like I already said, it depends on the people involved.

thanks for the heads up.....
i know i can always count on you for any info concerning alaigbo. i think you should find a mbaise woman for 2buff.

Maybe some exaggeration because I have heard of the long term or many months mourning thing.
Maybe they felt she didn't mourn her husband enough to go enjoy UK life...hence the exaggeration.

coogar:


have you heard or read of this issue before?



thanks for the heads up.....
i know i can always count on you for any info concerning alaigbo. i think you should find a mbaise woman for 2buff.

I haven't o, just saw it now.

That's what I'll do, he has this weird obsession with igbo chicks but won't admit.

freecocoa:
I haven't o, just saw it now.

That's what I'll do, he has this weird obsession with igbo chicks but won't admit.

he has been kissed by an igbo chic & he loves the sensation. however, the brideprice issue is getting him scared.

armyofone:
Maybe some exaggeration because I have heard of the long term or many months mourning thing.
Maybe they felt she didn't mourn her husband enough to go enjoy UK life...hence the exaggeration.

The said woman isn't even igbo so I don't see how they can say such, it would have been a different thing if she is igbo. The story is prolly a lie or her hubby doesn't want to spend money.

coogar:


he has been kissed by an igbo chic & he loves the sensation. however, the brideprice issue is getting him scared.

Guess we'll have to talk to TEHN on his behalf to help him out with the funds.

coogar:


i doubt it's true & even if it is - it won't be a general practise and if it's a general practise, not all families would enmesh themselves in such archaic belief.

waiting for freecocoa to see this - she's my news correspondent in the eastern region.

As an igbo guy, I think you deserve a chilled bottle of Heineken. Common sense will tell that this can never be a general practice. I'm hearing this for the first time.

Please don't say is Igbo tradition,the man does not want the woman in his house for reasons best know to him,i have seen many occasions where after the burial the daughters take there mother along to stay with them.

Hearing this one for the first time oooo.

DukeNija:


As an igbo guy, I think you deserve a chilled bottle of Heineken. Common sense will tell that this can never be a general practice. I'm hearing this for the first time.

the truth is - it's easy for many of these semi-illiterates to type nonsense. many of them grew, lived, schooled and are now working in the same town. many of them have never travelled out of lagos - so don't blame them if they think all igbo people reside in one city & are all guided by the same tradition.

it's their lack of exposure, forgive them.

All of you running your mouth here, you had better go and ask your fathers and mothers if it's true first before you just respond out of your own emotional and ignorant state in an attempt to look/sound good.

There's also that thing about buying bones and burying. Sounds like some freaky nospheratu/necrosis/pagan type shiit to me.

SirShymex:
Lol, personally, I think Igbo chics are cool (the ones I know in real life, not the crazy ones on here) but it seems their culture is the only problem. It's just the same way I've got problems with the Yoruba excessive owanbe thing. But Yoruba chics on the other hand are emotional wrecks, with the biggest mouths ever.

If it were possible to have a cool headed Igbo chic, with Yoruba culture (without the excessive celebrations of everything) - that would be ideal. But the real world is the real world - and you can't keep dreaming.

You and me both

freecocoa:


I haven't o, just saw it now.

That's what I'll do, he has this weird obsession with igbo chicks but won't admit.

Babe, isn't the first thing to check first before wanting to respond?
No be fight, I said IS IT TRUE?

Believe it or not, that is the story of the Yoruba woman. So what are you really angry about? Her for going thru your people's wahala or me making a topic out of your people's wahala? Your annoyance makes no sense.


Abeg keep your mbaise girl. I never finish to build house for my own mama yet, talkless of for everyone in the girl village.

coogar:


he has been kissed by an igbo chic & he loves the sensation. however, the brideprice issue is getting him scared.

Na you be "chia-man ". I go marry ibo girl only if you come the wedding to spray 50 million naira.
deal?

2buff:


Babe, isn't the first thing to check first before wanting to respond?
No be fight, I said IS IT TRUE?

Believe it or not, that is the story of the Yoruba woman. So what are you really angry about? Her for going thru your people's wahala or me making a topic out of your people's wahala? Your annoyance makes no sense.


Abeg keep your mbaise girl. I never finish build house for my mama yet, talkless of for everyone in her village.

Wait o, I thought he was asking if I'd seen the story before he directed me here, not if I read it before replying cos I did read it before responding.

I'm annoyed at you for making conclusions based on stories by people who know nothing about igbo culture, this isn't the first time you've made slanderous remarks about my people, just read what you wrote and tell yourself you were only asking questions, you even went as far as saying our pre-marital demands are crazy, even when it's been explained to you that it all depends on family and not the entire igbo race. 2buff, tell us the truth, what is it with you and igbo people?

See you, you go collect the babe by fire by force o.

chiefinalowo:
ibos are traditionalists.
I have not seen any pure ibo Christian.

I disagree. I'm Ibo married to Yoruba. My father isn't a traditionist he's rather a moralist and he brought us all up that way. What matters most to my family is ur well being and happiness and not some culture. For the fact he gave out his only daughter to a Yoruba handsome Dude is a prove.
OP I think it's a family thingy neva eva heard of it.

Wendy80:

I disagree. I'm Ibo married to Yoruba. My father isn't a traditionist he's rather a moralist and he brought us all up that way. What matters most to my family is ur well being and happiness and not some culture. For the fact he gave out his only daughter to a Yoruba handsome Dude is a prove.
OP I think it's a family thingy neva eva heard of it.

I am a Yoruba man and one of my wives is ibo.
I know what I am talking about.
I have been around that axis for more than 20 years.

This is what happens in families where people shout TRADITION instead of using their brains.

chiefinalowo:


I am a Yoruba man and one of my wives is ibo.
I know what I am talking about.
I have been around that axis for more than 20 years.

U are speaking from d point of having an ibo wife while I speak as Ibo. Besides u don't generalize, that u saw one or two pple shd not make it all Ibos.

chiefinalowo:
ibos are traditionalists.
I have not seen any pure ibo Christian.

l am one! Regarding the topic, it should not be generalized as an lgbo thing, people do hide under "culture" for selfish reasons.

Wendy80:

U are speaking from d point of having an ibo wife while I speak as Ibo. Besides u don't generalize, that u saw one or two pple shd not make it all Ibos.

All right my In-law.

Pavore9:
l am one! Regarding the topic, it should not be generalized as an lgbo thing, people do hide under "culture" for selfish reasons.

thank you very much.
They used culture to deceive him cos I can't relate with any of these

chiefinalowo:
ibos are traditionalists.
I have not seen any pure ibo Christian.

Woah!

This is so rich.

Which village have you been staying all these years?