magictouch:

Hello my people, each time I have a heated argument with my husband he keeps demanding for our marriage Certificate, and I wonder what for.
if he wants a divorce cant he start the process without it, or if he needs it desperately cant he approach the church or court, there are copies there. So because of his demands, I decided to hide it. Please people that knows, kindly tell me how powerful the marriage certificate is, in the hands of a women during divorce process, does it protect the woman in anyway. Thank you.

amtheone:


Hmmmm. I don't think you should bother much about in whose hands the paper is. I think what you should be more concerned about is how you guys can live peacefully without this "heated argument".

If he needs the paper to be in his possession, then peacefully do so.

If I may ask, what is the cause of this argument and how old is your marriage?

You don't need to dream of divorce, dream of enjoying your marriage. I wish you the very best.

magictouch:


thanks for ur advice. marriage is to be enjoyed not endured. i have been enduring for almost 7yrs. just looking for the best possible way to end things cos of our 3 kids. so exhausted of the emotional turtoure and abuse. tired of him telling me to leave his house everyday.

amtheone:


I really dont know under what circumstances did you guys become husband and wife. If it was a normal procedure - dating and courtship before marriage, I believe that you must have known a little about his character.

For you to stay together and have 3 kids, I also believe that things were not this bad. I really also don't know to what extent you have gone to make it work.

You can if possible check the line when it became this bad - that is the last time you guys had a peaceful relation. There is always a line between the good and the bad. So, kindly check that line and see if there any thing you can to bring about peace in your home because you need peace in your marriage not because of your children but for your sake as well.

If you need to bring in people who you think can help make things better if you have not already done so, please go ahead and do. If your husband is physically about you, even though verbally abused is also deadly, let some people be awared of his lifestyle towards you. Please dont keep quiet.

Then, also be very sure that his frustration is not caused by you.

I will help you in my prayer.

magictouch:


Please do pray for me cos I need that the most. The more I pray the worst things become. seems God is not looking my way.

We have known for over ten yrs and got married after 4 yrs of courting. the situation is already affecting mu daughter of 5 yrs in that she knows exactly what is going on. The other day, she was watching TV and she saw a man mistreating his wife, she started saying this is how my daddy used to beat my mummy, I was shocked, dont want them to grow in such environment.
I really dont know who to tell cos he doesnt involve any relative in our lives. Thanks for your advice

magictouch:
@pavore, doesnt need it to process any document. talking is only when he wants to quarrel and never gives me audience. we live seperate lives even though we are under the same roof, and tired of living like that

MzJackBaueress:
madam, the marriage certificate belongs to the wedded wife and not the husband. It is rightly yours and not your husband. If a husband is demanding for the marriage certificate when the marriage is shaky,then he is unto something fishy. Make sure you don't give him the certificate. If possible,give it to someone trustworthy to keep for you.

MzJackBaueress:
madam, the marriage certificate belongs to the wedded wife and not the husband. It is rightly yours and not your husband. If a husband is demanding for the marriage certificate when the marriage is shaky,then he is unto something fishy. Make sure you don't give him the certificate. If possible,give it to someone trustworthy to keep for you.

Pavore9:
@magictouch, what if he needs it to process some documents. You two should sit and talk.

magictouch:


thanks for ur advice. marriage is to be enjoyed not endured. i have been enduring for almost 7yrs. just looking for the best possible way to end things cos of our 3 kids. so exhausted of the emotional turtoure and abuse. tired of him telling me to leave his house everyday.

mutter:
My advice is somewhat different.

As a back up- go to the court and make a certified / attested copy of the marriage certificate if you don`t have means of getting an original. It does not take time and does not cost much.

Then go into yourself, examine yourself about what role you have played till now. What could you have done to contribute to this condition. Be neutral and fair.

You can be in a condition for years but unless something else is done and a different approach is used, the condition does not change. If he tells you everyday to leave and hasn`t kicked you out it means there is something about you bothering him and that constantly yet he still cares for you.

Make an attempt to turn the marriage around. Wait for him to come home cook something special and really let him see you have been preparing his return in a special way.
When he has eaten and is in the right mood go down on your knees and present him with the certificate and tell him you are sorry if he is disappointed in you and you would like to return the certificate to him since he wanted it... Tell him you love him and you would want the marriage to work. Ask him to let you know where you have gone wrong. Make sure you are ready for this- meaning no going into defense but a humble apology without trying to justify yourself. Be patient and sincere about your apology and if you present it in a right manner he just might open up and soften up. Make the changes he wants work on them.
A man should not lay hands on a woman but provocation is an excuse even in law.
Anyone advising you here does not know the true situation of your marriage and neither do I . That is why you have to weigh and consider what might work for you.

Even in the best of marriage one should show appreciation- thank you for marrying me, thank you for sharing your life with me and thank you for loving me.
This should be done by wife and husband. So for anyone reading this post - try it out

Juzzybabe:

This isn't my thread o but u see that your "Thank you for marrying me" humm I still and will ever regret y I told my husband that. It made him feel he did me and my family a large favour by marrying me and he feels thats y i do say thanks for marrying me. He insults me and even my family and he reminds me that even me knows he did me and my family a favour thats y i thank him always.I wish i knew what it means to him.

magictouch:

Hello my people, each time I have a heated argument with my husband he keeps demanding for our marriage Certificate, and I wonder what for.
if he wants a divorce cant he start the process without it, or if he needs it desperately cant he approach the church or court, there are copies there. So because of his demands, I decided to hide it. Please people that knows, kindly tell me how powerful the marriage certificate is, in the hands of a women during divorce process, does it protect the woman in anyway. Thank you.

magictouch:
@pavore, doesnt need it to process any document. talking is only when he wants to quarrel and never gives me audience. we live seperate lives even though we are under the same roof, and tired of living like thtat