1. "You press men, you always say there are no
minerals in Kano. We have Coca-Cola, Fanta, Miranda and the newly invented Sprite." - Barkin Zuwo

2. "Foreign investors should ignore Boko Haram and invest in Nigeria." - GEJ

3. "I will water your school and fire your school." -Orji Uzoh Kalu

4. "Nigerians, don't panic. Terrorist attack is everywhere ... maybe it is our turn." - GEJ

5. "I founded this school for the masses and the school fees is 850,000 naira." - Atiku Abubakar

6. "Until I see someone eating out of the gutters before I believe there is poverty in Nigeria." - Umaru Dikko

7. "Telephone is not meant for the poor. " - David Mark

8. "The worth of a child born and bred in Nigeria cannot be compared to that in the United States."- Yakubu Gowon

9. "School is not meant for the poor, only for the rich." - Ikedi Ohakim

10. "At 50, Britain is still battling with King Arthur and the knights of the round table so Nigeria is not doing too badly." - Diezeani Allison- Madueke

11. "Even Jesus Christ cannot conduct a free and fair election in Nigeria." - Olusegun Obasanjo

12. "The corp members where destined to die, nobody can run away from destiny." - Mallam Isa Yaguda, Governor, Bauchi State

13. "On behalf of 20 million naira, I'll donate my family" - Dame Patience Jonathan

14. "We, the PDP did not win this election, I have gone to church to confess, I gave them money and they called the result." - Chris Uba

15. "I want to commend the doctors and nurses for responding to treatment." - Dame Patience Jonathan

16. "You must be very silly for saying I bleach my skin. Tell your Editors I said you're silly." - Alao Akala to Punch Reporter

17. "How will you tell me I don't have right to treasury of Oyo State Government. The government I installed?" - Pa Lamidi Adedibu (2010)

18. "We want to thank the President for bringing Facebook to Nigeria.” – Information Minister, Labaran Maku (2009)

19. “I will rather kill myself than commit suicide.” – Dame Patience Jonathan

Ok,
11 Got me cracking

Very funny, Atiku no well 850k schools for the masses?

no 11 is blasphemy, obasanjo is a clown!

pej taking the lead