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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing (53083 Views)
Right Age To Get Married As A Guy! / I Made My Husband Impotent For Taking A Second Wife - Woman Confesses In Delta / Getting Married As An Undergraduate (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by bronzegoddess(f): 11:23pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
coogar:have u ever been alone? Like, had no one to go to, no one to talk to? Just ALONE. My question to the op tho, where was ur family when u were getting married to a muslim man who was already maRried? Sherina10 2 Likes |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by Memyselfu2009(m): 11:26pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
U re already Married.. the Bible advice 1 man one woman. To me your marriage is wrong using bible principle. But you are in it already since exactly is wrong with the wife. The man can not give u all want ur heart desire which is him. |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by lawalakib(m): 11:27pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
You seems not have studied the storyline yourself... he did all those for u without any personal interest and you still claim you don't want to be a second wife.. and some people are still telling you to be religious. No religion stop u from being a second wife. u know that! Or do you have any evidence for sticking to one wife or that says marry but one wife in the bible because he Jesus said he came to establish and Abraham, jacob, moses had more than one. And most youths would have had sex some couple of times before even getting married.. now he sponsored u without personal interest which many of the young guys u're looking for wouldn't do and his wife still accepted you.. omo! Ur luck choke sef.. many women dey find husband dem no see ooo... widows choke.. those with rape experience choke.and even men dey die more.. . na until u leave ur husband house u go know wetin b koko.. i hope then u go come write part 2 for us.. then say... I've learnt my lesson.... please advice me on how to go back.. 2 Likes |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by repogirl(f): 11:27pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
You married for money, he married for children...equation is balanced. Seriously, its up to you to decide whether you want to stay or leave. Think and decide before kids come your way. Seems you are not really ready to leave the comfortable life right now sha. 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by su24tech: 11:27pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
pls dear there something more here, 1) he make u understand that you are not presentable cos u are a Christian, one day u will b force to change to Islam, 2) the first wife has health issue how are u sure dat u not been use for spiritual cleanse, cos is not possible for the first wife to just accept another woman into her home, dear, this is well planned n well executed by the two of them cos they do not have issue nor reconciled they plan it cos they know u wouldn't want to be second wife, so pls get out immediately. My advice. Tnx 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by Sgtkoselupa: 11:28pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
Sorry you are an usurper! Please check out of that marriage. 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by Aarenasbaba(m): 11:30pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
Olorun a bayin yanju e ooooo God wl help you to settle it |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by femzysticks(m): 11:36pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
Welcome to your new religion 2 Likes
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Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by nextstep(m): 11:37pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
sherina10: If this is the case, then what's the problem. Is it an issue that in addition to being very caring and loving to you, that he also wants children? At least he didn't just want to have a side chick, but he wanted to make you wifey. If anybody should be feeling bad, it's the first wife, for you will come to take her place in his heart. If you love him as you've said, then stay in the marriage, since there's no talk of abuse. I really doubt that he see's you only as a second fiddle, baby making machine, so take it easy before you go and do something you'd later regret 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by Nobody: 11:40pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
sherina10: Look at the bright side. You're married You're not some random side chic but a respectable woman |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by talisman35(m): 11:42pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
you better stay with this man,you can talk things out, sit him down nd let him understand how you feel.do not see yourself as a baby factory,they ar nice to you what else do you want,just make sure you have your own bussines and finacial dependent,what i believe is that the man will still give u the all attention needed,just be nice 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by ozimec(m): 11:43pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
sherina10: My dear take my advice, for heaven sake, pls quit the marriage. You're sharing another woman's husband and that is adultery before God. 2 Likes |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by solzmuller(m): 11:47pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
hope they not gonna use u for rituals 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by menix(m): 11:49pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
The word "Women" should be used instead of "Confusion".... 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by odinkaru: 11:50pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
Why all the duck tales, were you blind to know you were going into a polygamos marriage ? 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by babanne(m): 11:57pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
Just listen to yourself. You agreed to marry him because of the comfort now you can't cope with sharing him with his real wife. Isn't that stupid. Don't you know you are actually a second fiddle to them. Now you claimed to be christian but I just discovered that you don't know anything about true Christianity. True christianity does not allow you to marry a non-believer not to talk of being a second wife of an unbeliever. In fact to Bible guidelines, you are an adulterer as you marry him I will advice that you break free from that immoral relationship and study the Bible with Jehovah's witnesses to know what God expect of you. 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by tamquezee(m): 11:57pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
I think u got urself into this because of ur situation then not really because of love. I will advice show more love to him and present ur case. From what u said, he did a lot for u so u too should show appreciation by sacrificing. Handle the situation with a lioness heart u will smile at last. |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by Nobody: 11:58pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
After reading your story, felt sober for you. i understand totally what u went thru and why u took d decisions u took. i am a man of reality and logic, i believe in what is real and what can be deduced. having said that, u are 23 now right, serving and LUCKILY for u, u have no children yet for him. my advice, quit d marriage, take it that ur mistake has paid for your the "comfort" and surport u got thru school. get a divorce now before its too late and start a new life, thank God age is still on your side and you hv a degree and probably some savings now. face the real life and struggle ur way now, u'll definately find d right man for u and d dream family u'v always wanted. he will always get someone else that will bring him children, even a muslim for that matter that understands and is happy to b a second wife. my dear b smart. 2 Likes |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by masseratti: 11:58pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
Why would MODS bring up a thread that is 2 years old. 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by cashdosh(m): 11:59pm On Dec 21, 2015 |
Oga Bello |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by KINGLARY: 12:00am On Dec 22, 2015 |
The problem u hv exists only in ur mind cos u r loved n provided for. It is ur thought and perception of the marriage situation that has brought this abstract problem upon u. U soon forgot that there are many woman like u who are even third or fourth wives bt happy in their marriage. Just make adjustment n work on ur mind lest u harm urself d more. Ur happines is prime. |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by KanwuliaJara: 12:00am On Dec 22, 2015 |
So? Now wey you done born JESUS, make we celebrate Christmas and BLACK FRIDAY efry yia abi? |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by Nobody: 12:01am On Dec 22, 2015 |
Goodluck |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by nephemmy(m): 12:04am On Dec 22, 2015 |
when the man was spending for u...u didn't tell us oo
did u invite me for ur wedding ni abeg
that ur own cross, carry it with joy and gladness
without regrets and laments..
got my own shit too 1 Like |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by samuelson06(m): 12:07am On Dec 22, 2015 |
lawalakib: What are you even saying? BTW, this topic was created 1 year ago so save yourself some strength. OP may not even be on NL again. |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by IDnoble1: 12:15am On Dec 22, 2015 |
sherina10:Why do you real care about how\what people look or think about you (concerning a decision you made for yourself), when your way is good. Are those people your creator? And Its the same set of people that you want to satisfy that will still mock you when you take the step you are contemplating on and it does not work out well. Or it may be that you yourself are fed up due to some reasons and now trying to make points from what does not really matter. |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by Fanirandele: 12:15am On Dec 22, 2015 |
ziddy: leave your religion because of man/woman, never |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by jomoh: 12:21am On Dec 22, 2015 |
sherina10: I don't advice women either online or offline cos they make you look stupid in the end with their eventual decision which would be very different(actually not bad) and very illogical(but very annoying). But let me make an exception to it with you. At least I will care less or know whatever you decided on. Now to the advise. You simply have no business in the marriage for the following reasons. 1. You're not ready for marriage cos you're not prepared mentally. It was only a way out of the financial mess you were 2. Your complaint about the stigma and him not keeping things at your place are typical of polygamous family. He will always see his first wife's place as his main house. He will even prefer to share more secrets with his first wife so no way out. 3. You also complained of him not bringing his friends because you don't cover your head. Its obvious you never discussed religion before you got married. I would've advised you start using scarf at the least(which some christians too do) but the fact is that he will still come up with another thing. Except you're ready to change your religion which I don't think you want. 4. You want his attention to a larger extent than he is giving but he can't help it cos he has another wife. All the above are the problems I could read into your write up. The simplest solution I think that is available to you is to get out of the marriage now that you're still very young and can still attract suitors. I hate to see anyone get divorced but there seem to be no way out for you. It is even better for you now that you're yet to have a baby for him. You have to accept that the marriage was a mistake you made of which you were too young to understand the things involved. If you choose to go ahead with it, its your decision but remember the moment you give birth, you're never getting out again The fact is that the guy has tried, really really tried to be fair to you from the very first day. So it is absolutely no fault of his because you were the unprepared participant. Even at that, there are some things in polygamy that no human being can solve. No matter how religious that man his, he can never satisfy two women at the same time. He might satisfy their material and physical needs but the emotional needs can never balance and this is where most people go wrong against God's preaching. The basic requirement for any man to marry more than one wife is ability to provide absolute equity in everything amongst the wives but which man born of a woman can provide ordinary equity in everything let alone absolute equity. I'm a muslim so I understand what marrying a second, third or fourth wife means but I will never advocate for it cos I know the caveat that is after 6 is far beyond 7. Salam. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by preciousMI1(f): 12:23am On Dec 22, 2015 |
sherina10: ok... your story sounds like nollywood script i watched recently... oya fastfoward to my advise... but before then rewind to your story summary... did you consider somethings 1.that the comfort he was giving you was temporary? 2. that the said guy was even a STAUNCH MUSLIM and you Christian and according to this story you had a way u were raised and because polygamy is a taboo to ur Christian faith yet you ventured into it... this summaries how DAFT u are. 3. you feel ashamed of being a second wife seriously were you pushed? did you find out late?? no, @21 I made d choice of hubby am married to and you knew the man u were abt to marry was married and u jumped into it... it was fun, right? enjoy it. AND PLEASE WEAR AN HIJAB STEADILY next time when you are in Rome you behave like the Romans.... 4. to think you said you had no family again except for ur sis n hubby is the height of exaggeration. as a Christian did you report to a clergy man... don't you have friends or IS YOU AN ISLAND 5. Summarily you said d marriage is doing fine as there's peace at home. You better hang in there darling for d same of those kids you hurriedly brought to this world. ALL I'LL ADVISE YOU IS TO BE A SCRIPT WRITER AND ABOVE ALL LIE RESPONSIBLY |
Re: Married As A Second Wife For Child-Bearing by prebest4: 12:53am On Dec 22, 2015 |
Is against the bible pls u are not His wife because u can't be,go and look for ur husband, because if u die along the line u will go to hail |
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