I am not a great fan of the social media by
any means. I am shy, in fact, afraid of them.
For me, their disadvantage far outweighs
the merits. one must therefore be very
careful, especially if, like me, you don’t really
have a good knowledge of it.
Better safe than sorry is my watch word
concerning such matters. Until very recently,
when I hooked up on the WhatsApp, I only
could allow myself the luxury of the
Blackberry Messenger. For me, the Facebook
as well as several similar platforms were a
no go area.
I joined Facebook and Linkedin late last year
on the prompting of my son, who insisted
after the public presentation of my book,
Youth, Sex and Wellbeing, that they were my
best bets at promoting it. Even as I write, I
am yet to take any step in actualising that. I
can count the number of times I’ve visited
both platforms on my fingertips, I’m only
there when it’s absolutely necessary. I only
discovered in the last few days that I could
actually be more comfortable using the
Linkedin services, even as my fears of the
Facebook has so far been justified even on
the count of the hour.
On Thursday, October 23, after our
Vanguard Women’s Roundtable Conference
titled “The plight of women and children in
the face of emerging Terrorism, which way
forward?” Vanguard’s Administrative
Manager, Victor Gotebve informed me that
he had uploaded the pictures on his
Facebook page. So, I decided to check the
next day and thereafter, use the opportunity
to update some of the information on my
timeline too. The things I stumbled upon
that day and subsequent visits thereafter
have forced me to conclude that I am very
naive or indeed a novice of some of the
things happening around me.
The first headline that caught my attention
was a posting on the currently running Big
Brother game, directing one to click in to
watch clips of the shower session of three
of the housemates. My reaction was that we
have outsmarted Multichoice as usual. Then,
there was another link to watch a leaked
video of a Nigerian undergraduate girl while
strip dancing for her on-line lover. My
reaction to this was, “are people still doing
that kind of thing these days?” Then doubt
crawled in, the owner could be
misinforming people just to drive traffic to
the blog. Finally, out of curiosity, I decided to
confirm. Boy, was it for real? The face of the
young lady was not concealed in any way as
she danced her heart out for the pleasure of
whoever it was meant for before it hit the
internet, her jigida or bebedi, glistening
against the rays of light. Even as I pondered
over the rational for this lady’s action, yet
another link popped up on the same
person’s page. This time, it directed friends
to another link to see how a teenage boy
shagged his sugar mummy lover and then
posted it online. Yet another link came up
directing one to watch a school girl being
pumped by her lover. Incidentally, this was
quite dubious as it had no faces, only the
sex organs in use were visible. This girl also
had a set of jigida strings and a huge sense
of patriotism as they bore the green and
white colours of the Nigerian flag.
I logged back in on Sunday and the postings
continued. There was another of a young
lady who was being bumped doggy style
and screaming on the top of her lungs. I
wondered why since it was obvious that
she was not being raped. This video
however did not show the face of the guy
and I guessed it might have been secretly
recorded without the girl’s permission. Then
there were two other posting allegedly
leaked on the internet by the girls in the
pictures in a bid to up their clientele drive or
to simply flaunt their impressive gifts from
mother nature.
And finally, for the first time, I found the
courage to see the hideous video of the
torture of the two women in Ikotun area of
Lagos who were alleged of stealing ordinary
pepper. That marked my experience on
Facebook last week. I intend to visit more
often as a few other things also caught my
attention.
I tried to analyse the content of the various
links I viewed and several questions popped
up in my mind. Apart from the pictures and
videos purportedly posted by the owners, all
others showed only the faces of the women
and not the guys. This as I have said did not
seem right, unless, the men had edited
themselves out and then deliberately posted
the videos to hurt these poor girls. Should
this be the case, why if I may ask?
For any female, prostitute or otherwise, it
takes two to tango and you must have
arrived at that level of UnCloth through
some form of mutual agreement or
concession of sort. Even a prostitute does
not deserve to be secretly videoed and
posted on the internet for everyone to see.
That is wicked and definitely not part of the
bargain.
However, this appears to be going on every
day and no one seem capable of doing
anything about it. The girls too hardly ever
report until they are forced with no other
option but to do so.
Sometimes last year, a young, female,
undergraduate of a foremost Nigerian
University was lured into an apartment
somewhere on Lagos Island by a 300-level
undergraduate of the same University who
also happened to live in her neighbourhood.
She was acquainted with the guy and
though she’d refused his love request, they
had maintained a cordial relationship. As
soon as she stepped into the apartment,
he’d pounced on her, tore off her clothes,
beaten her blue and black, then violently
raped her? As if this was not enough, he
brought out his phone and took
photographs of her naked body. He kept her
locked up till the following day and raped
her several times through the night. Before
he allowed her out, he’d threatened to post
her pictures on the internet, should she tell
anyone what had transpired between them.
To him, it was the only way to negotiate her
silence.
Frightened beyond words, the young lady
could only tell her mother that she was
involved in an accident on her way home
and fell off a moving bus which tore her
clothes and left her with several cuts and
bruises. Naturally, they had cared for her
and everything seemed alright until a couple
of days later.
An older relative had called asking to speak
with the girl and if she was alright. Initially,
she had told the guy that she was until he
dropped the bombshell, why had she posted
her naked photographs on the internet! The
young girl thereafter confessed all that had
happened to her and took her parents to
the guy’s apartment.
In his confession at the Police Station, this
guy disclosed that it was his friends who
posted the pictures and not him. He had
only narrated his “great achievement” to
them and showed them the “trophies”, he
never knew they would post them on the
internet. The other guys were subsequently
rounded up.
If one may ask, what was this girl’s offence
that she should be dehumanised in such a
manner? Is it now a crime to turn down a
love request? There are many women who
find it very difficult and painful to even
engage in mutually consenting intercourse,
not to think of going through the horror of
being raped, then being videoed. A real case
of adding salt on injury.
But same cannot be said for people who
wilfully take selfies of their naked bodies
and sexual activities, then post same on the
internet for strangers to ogle at. If these
videos were shot by the owners of the blogs
or websites they were viewed on, then one
can understand the commercial gain to be
made in that instance. It is no secret that the
sex industry is a multi billion Naira spinning
trade across the world, Nigeria inclusive.
However, what is to gain for the ordinary
individuals who shoot self staring porn
videos or snap naked selfies and post them
on these blogs and websites? As one of the
links said, the “Ashawo” Port Harcourt babe
desired to max on clientele. Even if it is
intended to lure men, must their faces be
shot with the pictures? What will happen
when age and use begin to take its toll on
the body and the face has become known
as that of the notorious wench? Hmm!
Everyone, especially those in long distance
relationships know how difficult it is
managing a relationship were the lovers
hardly see each other physically. One of the
common ways such lovers use to engage
each other’s attention is by exchanging
selfies of sexual parts, especially by the
female.
Selfies are photographs or videos taken of
one’s self by one’s self. An innovation
apparently made possible with the coming
of camera phones with front cameras which
enable users to take photographs or shoot
videos of themselves without the help of
another. Depending on preference of the
owner or user, two or more people can
feature in a selfie. Another advantage of the
front camera is that you no longer have to
strain the eyes through a pin hole to find a
good angle for your photographs, the wide
screen of the phone allows you unlimited
space to perfect whatever you want to do
on the camera.
This DIY technology in photography has
however taken sexual acts and perhaps
pervasion to a new dimension. Many people
indiscriminately take pictures of themselves
in various states of UnCloth or sexual acts
without thinking of the likely implications
should they fall into wrong hands. The story
of Anita Hogan’s published nude
photographs still rings fresh in my memory.
She had given her laptop in which the
photographs were saved to a technician for
repair. What about the story of a senior
manager with one of the telecommunication
giants and a married, female junior worker
whose naked photographs graced the social
media about four or so years ago? The duo
had left home telling their respective
partners they were attending a seminar in
Badagry area of Lagos State. It took a lost
memory card for the world to discover the
kind of seminar they had attended.
The fear of internet hackers should be the
beginning of wisdom for all internet users
as information you push out there could be
used against you at anytime.
Above all, the implications of this trend with
regards to even legitimate relationships and
sexual affairs are grave. The average lady,
married or single needs to show great
caution in terms of the kind of relationship
she keeps and those she decides to share
her body with. As with any relationship, you
can only know your mind, you cannot know
your partner’s. You can only love someone,
you cannot determine if or how much the
person will love you in return. If you must
take pictures of your private parts, do so
without your face showing. If you visit a
lover and there is need for you to UnCloth,
shine your eyes well, you never can tell. A
guy once told me he records his extra
marital affairs to help increase his sex drive
with a wife who no longer turns him on.
And should a partner start insisting on a
certain sexual position or direction, it’s your
body too, you can always take a walk!
Do have a wonderful week!



Source: Vanguardngr.com