Salaam

"To Allah (Almighty God) we belong, and to Him is our return." (Holy Qur'an 2:156)

That what it says in the Quran.

It is of utmost importance that man should hold death dear and consider it an opportunity of meeting with his Almighty, and not hate it and consider it as evil, but should take lessons from it. He should ask forgiveness from Almighty for his sins and tame the rebellious self (Nafs). When the call of his Lord comes, he should welcome it with open arms accepting it to be a blessing from Almighty. He should be contented with the decree (Qadr) of Almighty. He should also rejoice that shortly he would be taken to the presence of Ahlul Bait [Household of Prophet] (pbut) and meet his deceased companions and other believer brothers. He should also not be disheartened by the delay in death but should consider it as an opportunity afforded by Almighty to him to repent. This delay would give him a chance to gather provisions useful for his journey to the other world, for the journey is tiresome and full of dangerous valleys and difficult paths.

The first are feelings that one experiences at the loss of a close relative or an intimate friend. The second are physical manifestations of such feelings aimed to show that one is in grief. As far as feelings are concerned, these are experienced by everyone and there is no harm in them. When the Prophet (peace be upon him) lost his son, Ibraheem, he was in tears. He is reported to have said: “The eye is tearful and the heart is saddened and we are in grief for losing you, Ibraheem.” This sums up the natural sadness one feels at the loss of a loved one. In the Hadiths the reader mentions, the Prophet is reported to have wept when Umamah, his granddaughter died in childhood. Saad ibn Ubadah asked him: “Do you weep, Messenger of God? Have you not ordered Zaynab (Umamah’s mother) not to?” He answered: “This is a feeling of compassion God has placed in His servants’ hearts. He bestows mercy on those of His servants that are compassionate.” This means that feelings of sorrow and sadness are perfectly acceptable, provided that grief is coupled with resignation and acceptance of God’s will.

Wailing and other physical and excessive manifestations of sorrow, such as tearing clothes, beating oneself, hitting one’s chest, etc. are strictly forbidden, because they are tantamount to protesting at God’s will. People who wail when they lose a close relative may shout: “To whom are you leaving us?” This is gross indeed. It is as if the deceased had a choice. Besides, how do we prove our faith in God if we were to protest at His action in causing the death of a relative? We should accept His will and pray to Him to bestow mercy on the deceased and to take care of those he left behind.

The Prophet made clear that all such physical manifestations of grief are prohibited. He explained that such actions are a cause of suffering to the deceased. Ibn Umar reports: “When Umar was stabbed, he was unconscious. People cried loud for him. When he came to, he said: “Are you not aware that the Prophet said: ‘A dead person is in torment as a result of wailing by those who are alive.’” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.) There are other authentic Hadiths stressing the same point. We need to explain here that these Hadiths do not mean that God will punish the deceased for his relatives’ wailing. To suggest this is incompatible with God’s justice, which makes everyone accountable only for his/her own deeds. What the Hadiths mean is that their relatives’ actions are shown to the deceased and he is hurt by them. The Prophet is quoted as saying: “Your deeds are shown to those of your relatives and kinsfolk who had died. If such deeds are good they are delighted, and if they are not, they pray to God, saying: ‘Please God, do not let them die until You have given them guidance as You had given us.’” (Related by Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi.)

There are numerous Hadiths that make absolutely clear that wailing and similar actions are forbidden. Umm Atiyyah, a lady companion of the Prophet, reports: “The Prophet asked us to pledge that we will never wail.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.) He also said: “Unless a wailing woman repents before she dies, she will have on the Day of Judgment an outfit made of tar and a dress that causes her skin to split.” (Related by Ahmad and Muslim.)

As muslims we know what we should and should not do, my question is ,how do you react to the news of the death of your loved one?

_{I saw the message Mukii, very sad}!

am still so shocked
its unbelievable

its hard to explain the feelings of d death of a loved one. Esp mother.

Mukina

Please I still cant get the gist. Please lets talk privately. I tried your phone number but it didnt go. May Allah forgive her and grant her Al-Janah Firdaus and to all Muslims. (Amin). We still need to talk before I post further.

Babs

you can go ahead and post, i'll send you a mail later

As muslims we know what we should and should not do, my question is ,how do you react to the news of the death of your loved one?

I think the analysis that preambled this question is explanatory enough.
As human beings, losing a beloved one, no matter how old the person is, is going to be touching and painful. More painful are deaths that are so sudden, like from autocrash or brief illness.

But one way of getting in control of one's reaction is to constantly remember that death can take any one anytime. This is no negative thinking, it's just a control over one's reaction. Also, having in mind that when one's time comes, nobody can stop it, could also go a long way in minimizing the tendency to overreact.
If that person is a Muslim, especially a good one, then by taking solace in the fact that he's al-jannah-bound, you can minimize your sadness and reaction. Also, remember Prophet Muhammad, the best of mankind and dearest to Allah, also experienced loss of beloved ones, then ask yourself, who am I?
Finally, remember teh concept of qadar, taht what will hit you will not hit you and what will hit you will not miss you.

Human beings that we are, we will surely feel so sad, but those measures could cushion the effect. Finally, please note that there is nothing wrong in weeping over the loss of a beloved one, what is bad is wailing, uttering offensive words, cursing etc. You need not wear an indifferent face, you can weep but within boundary.

May Allah forgive her amin. Don't forget sadaqatul jariya the rewards that reach the dead include a pious child praying for his/her parent

But wait ! Is this a new thread or an old one ? Sorry for asking is because i can't see date

Abuzola:

But wait ! Is this a new thread or an old one ? Sorry for asking is because i can't see date

No its not a new thread.

I just wanted to know how you as a muslim reacts to the death of a beloved.

Noetic i swear i will break ur head if you blaspheme in this section. You dey craze ? Somebody is sad and in grievance yet you want to compound it with nonsense. Take time. Jarus please delete this crazy man aspersion if he attempts next time

Abuzola:

Noetic i swear i will break ur head if you blaspheme in this section. You dey craze ? Somebody is sad and in grievance yet you want to compound it with nonsense. Take time. Jarus please delete this crazy man aspersion if he attempts next time

That would only happen in ur dreams. . . , just limit ur islamic madness to ur vicinity. . . . I am not ur average every day person.

Those with common sense will perceive that I asked a simple question. still awaiting answers though, .

I have large collection of hadiths that really explain Life after death. Death is the certainly a load on every one of us. Death is the most joyful thing for a believer, the likeness of it is like the baby who has been delivered, when he left the womb to the earth he cries for leaving it as times go on, he realized that the earth is better than living in the womb, when death overtake a believer he feels much better as if he has long been in jail then he was bail. There is hadith on this with me.

When an individual dies you cry for missing him permanently thats the vacuum.

@mukina how true is it that you recently lost your 'M' ?

Abu,
Yeah i did though not recently

May Allah forgive her and grant her jannatul firdaus. Kullu nafsin za'ikatul maut, this is what i tell people when they are worried. Insan meaning mankind means death i.e something that dies, we should all prepare for the journey. The Holy Prophet said 'if you know what is before you of the day of Resurrection you will laugh little and weep much'. Lahaula walakuwata illah billah. Hmmm Mauta - when Allah created Death it asked Allah permission to decry saying 'I AM DEATH, HE WHO BLESS THE CEMETRY, I SEPARATE LOVED COUPLES, I CAUSE GRIEVE AND PAIN IN HOUSES, I SEPARATE FATHER FROM SON, DAUGHTER FROM MOTHER, I SEPARATE LOVED ONES, NO MATTER YOU RUN TO THE HIGHEST PEAK MOUNTAIN GOD'S WILLING I WILL GRASP YOU,'.
Only our deeds will make us go through. You can also give sadaqah on behalf of the late. Death has its agony as well but i won't want to go into that. May Allah help us through. Amin ya zaljalali wal ikram

Have you ever thought of one day you will surely die, no one knows the day he will die nor the land he will die, Abu Darda said '3 things make me cry, one is a man who has suffer to assemble his asset for ages and then one day death takes him, 2ndly, an old man who is desperate to earn worldly things meanwhile death is knocking on his door, 3rd interrogation by munkar and Nakir'

When you die, the test is over, no more deeds to be done except sadaqatul jaariyah, imagine lowered in the grave and buried and you hear the footstep of ur accompany, ur chest beating rapidly coz you know the angels are coming for interrogation you will soon know ur faith, note* sadaqatul jaariyah does not change ur abode if u re an inhabitant of hell, subhanallah. Paradise or hell. This world is nothing but a deceit Quran 6:130, like Abu Hanifah said, 'if umar should come back alive and see what the muslim have turned to he will weep' not only him even the tabiun tabiun, the christian and jews have brought innovation that exempt man from ibadah. Wallayi we are lost. On that Day disbelievers will swear that they only spend half day on earth. May Almighty Allah guide us through amin

Allah/God giveth and he taketh.

Abuzola:

May Allah forgive her and grant her jannatul firdaus. Kullu nafsin za'ikatul maut, this is what i tell people when they are worried. Insan meaning mankind means death i.e something that dies, we should all prepare for the journey. The Holy Prophet said 'if you know what is before you of the day of Resurrection you will laugh little and weep much'. Lahaula walakuwata illah billah. Hmmm Mauta - when Allah created Death it asked Allah permission to decry saying 'I AM DEATH, HE WHO BLESS THE CEMETRY, I SEPARATE LOVED COUPLES, I CAUSE GRIEVE AND PAIN IN HOUSES, I SEPARATE FATHER FROM SON, DAUGHTER FROM MOTHER, I SEPARATE LOVED ONES, NO MATTER YOU RUN TO THE HIGHEST PEAK MOUNTAIN GOD'S WILLING I WILL GRASP YOU,'.
Only our deeds will make us go through. You can also give sadaqah on behalf of the late. Death has its agony as well but i won't want to go into that. May Allah help us through. Amin ya zaljalali wal ikram

Just seeing this now.
amin amin amin na'la

Abuzola:

Have you ever thought of one day you will surely die, no one knows the day he will die nor the land he will die, Abu Darda said '3 things make me cry, one is a man who has suffer to assemble his asset for ages and then one day death takes him, 2ndly, an old man who is desperate to earn worldly things meanwhile death is knocking on his door, 3rd interrogation by munkar and Nakir'

When you die, the test is over, no more deeds to be done except sadaqatul jaariyah, imagine lowered in the grave and buried and you hear the footstep of your accompany, your chest beating rapidly coz you know the angels are coming for interrogation you will soon know your faith, note* sadaqatul jaariyah does not change your abode if u re an inhabitant of hell, subhanallah. Paradise or hell. This world is nothing but a deceit Quran 6:130, like Abu Hanifah said, 'if umar should come back alive and see what the muslim have turned to he will weep' not only him even the tabiun tabiun, the christian and jews have brought innovation that exempt man from ibadah. Wallayi we are lost. On that Day disbelievers will swear that they only spend half day on earth. May Almighty Allah guide us through amin

Amin , . .

Ehyaaaaa! am so sorry!

nd i av learnt a lot from this.