I have a wife of 2 years with a son,i recently suspected her of cheating and decided to make sure it was really true.I started communicating with her with a new phone,i acted like her Ex-boyfriend and asked and informed her that i have an xmas gift for her and we should meet up.

I (she thinks her EX) agreed via text message to meet up and i insisted a hotel,i promised to give her 80,000 as a gift but on her way i asked to bring a condom,she agreed with no hesitation at all.


To my amazement she came to the hotel,knocked the door and she met me and the confrontation started,the condom she brought was the same condom that we have at home(unopened)


Now i am at a loss as to what to do,is forgiveness an option here or do you think.


She swore she has never done this before and did not know what got over her

The same bible that says forgive 70*70 times is the same one that says adultery is the only reason for marriage dissolution.

I dont know, no body can make that decision for you, only YOU can. Because only you know the state of your relationship
and who your wife really is.

Your marriage may have a fighting chance. Even the God of heaven and earth will not make that decision for you - CHOOSE.

Or, find out what went wrong to make it condusive for her to cheat - are you emotionally unavailable, do you abuse her
emotionaly verbaly et al?

Ask her to make up her mind to work her butt off for the marriage or move on. Cheating makes for a dishonest person.

Lastly, in my opinion, when men get cheated on, they dont forgive, even if they take 20 years to dump your sweet buns.

But am serious, put your all in this and even higher a councellor.

nuff said.

Let's see what the dudes will have to say in regards to this.

Before that, OP get a STD test done before you make any decision. when you get the results, then weigh your options

I am all for wanting to make marriages work, but sometimes cheating consequences can be all too painful.

Sometimes you must make the choice between

1. STD
2. risking them cheating on you again
3. pregnancies

i dont know, do you guys think that these days jut as long as you got your children is enough?
can being a single parent be your safest worry free bet?

assuming the story is true - i say divorce her

whenever a person gets caught, it is often because he/she has been commiting so may times that he/she has gotten careless

a single phone call from an exboyfriend - and she immediately hits the hotel? she has to have been doing this for a looong time

as to swearing she has never done this before - no be naija - small time she will say na devil push me - while you're at it, better do a paternity test

Nope this is not a story it is what happened to me.See the amazing thing is ,i kept texting from the hotel room,"Did you bring the condoms " and she said at first that is your job,finally she text back and said i have it.

There may be a lot of made up stories here but this is what happened to me.

This is a woman that keeps telling me she will never cheat on me !!!

oyb:

assuming the story is true - i say divorce her

lol why na?

can't he just "report her to her parents"?

or maybe he should "check within himself to see what would make her cheat on him"

or "pray for the spirit of patience and forgiveness, after all tyhe next woman he meets might even be worse"

"the devil you know is better than the angel you don't"

blah blah yada yada


Oh my mistake, that's only when it's a guy that cheats

KarmaMod:

Oh my mistake, that's only when it's a guy that cheats

u know what they say. . . its a man's world. . 

oyb tin ba mu e.

oyb:

assuming the story is true - i say divorce her

whenever a person gets caught, it is often because he/she has been commiting so may times that he/she has gotten careless

a single phone call from an exboyfriend - and she immediately hits the hotel? she has to have been doing this for a looong time

as to swearing she has never done this before - no be naija - small time she will say na devil push me - while you're at it, better do a paternity test

In life when d hurdles get higher if u cant jump go under dont go back. I will advice u 2 4give her.

KarmaMod:

lol why na?

can't he just "report her to her parents"?

or maybe he should "check within himself to see what would make her cheat on him"

or "pray for the spirit of patience and forgiveness, after all tyhe next woman he meets might even be worse"

"the devil you know is better than the angel you don't"

blah blah yada yada


Oh my mistake, that's only when it's a guy that cheats

pele, next time come as a man.

don't have to come back as a man.

What i listed has nothing to do with me. Just feel bad for those that have to conform to such, however

If i were in ur shoes i'd Divorce her

Well I don't think there is any man/woman story about this. The kind of person who would sleep with an 'ex-boyfriend' whose identity she's not even sure of can kill you.

The decision is yours to make - that kind of blatant, unpressurized and needless cheating cannot be tolerated by me.

Well you can pray sha   Hope she repents and stops screwing around and take Karma's advice as well - your next chick may be even worse.  

For the sake of your kids, I'd say try to reconsider (PS do a DNA check to ensure they ARE your sons first and foremost)

debosky:

Well you can pray sha   Hope she repents and stops screwing around and take Karma's advice as well - your next chick may be even worse.  

I knew I could trust you jare

debo . . . put urself in his shoes. Now advice urself.

Advise myself? Na to pray now. Nothing wey god no fit do ^{Na to go collect my dowry from her papa}

debosky:

Advise myself? Na to pray now. Nothing wey god no fit do ^{Na to go collect my dowry from her papa}

and u dey tell the guy long story before?

benu soun, leave debo alone

The "devil you know is better" abi no be so, debo?

KarmaMod:

benu soun, leave debo alone

The "devil you know is better" abi no be so, debo?

Of course!

This one was just sleeping around, the next one fit be mammy water

KarmaMod:

benu soun, leave debo alone

The "devil you know is better" abi no be so, debo?

omo its better not to have a devil at all o.

davidylan:

omo its better not to have a devil at all o.

Like you'd tell that to a female.

debosky:

Of course!

This one was just sleeping around, the next one fit be mammy water

Thank you jare.

@Poster:do you think you can forgive and learn to trust her again?