I have a situation here, a family friend had twin boys out of wedlock for a man who promised her marriage. Shortly after she got pregnant the man revealed that he had another woman pregnant for him. He then insinuated that if she gives birth to boys he would still marry her. Lo and behold after giving birth to twin boys he comes to her with the other woman and tells her he will not marry her neither will he support her. The kicker is this friend of ours gave up her federal government appointment because the man was taking care of her (house, Car and food). Now she is in a big dilemma, no more support. I personally told my wife that she was heading for trouble the moment I got to know the situation surrounding the pregnancy however I feel for her and any helpful advice I can get here to pass on will be most appreciated.

ok . and advice u shall get...

eyah....thats a defination of one chance...


i dont think that silly guy can be force to do anything...she needs the help of friends an family and she needs to start working or something

shes the caused of her dilemma...she think say she don see rich man ko

Their relationship was not legalised, so on what basis will the man be compelled? She took a risk that backfired had the man married her now, this issue won't have risen.

Nigeria is not like west yet, even in west, some forms of legality will be there before such action can be taken.

Even legally married women don't resign their job, let alone baby mama, let her get a job and keep herself busy. For how long will she continue to wait and rely on a man in a foreign land.

I don't wanna blame her but I will a little. Why did she give up the federal appointment? Big risk.

Well you can contact a family lawyer on her behalf and see what he/she has to say. You never know what is allowed in the constitution until you try to make a case

Well the earlier she starts looking for another job the better , totally depending on a man is not ideal even when you're married to him not to talk of when you're just his baby mama.

sincerely there are 2 ways to this.
1. if she knows his family. report him and say ur mind. it could lead to some maintenance being paid.
2. if she is in lagos and some states she can sue him for maintenance in the family courts. am sure judges will put the child welfare when making the descision. with the judgement she can always go after him.
just thought also that she can always go to the directorate of social welfare in lagos.
any issues dont hesitate to call. 08093779782.

Let her go to social welfare office. If she is in lagos her chances are much better as its actually a crime in lagos and he will serve jail term if he doesn't pay up.
He will be charged based on his income to cover all babies expenses. However she must be willing to fight through not the one that he starts touching her throws the marriage carrot and she abandons the case only to come crying again. You can't imagine how irritating that is
Fashola signs law against abandonment of pregnant women.

On August 9, 2011 · In News

By Olasunkanmi Akoni
LAGOS — Governor Babatunde Fashola of Lagos State, yesterday, signed a bill into law, which allows for the prosecution and jailing of any man who impregnates and deserts any woman.

The bill presented to the governor by the state’s Commissioner of Justice and Attorney General, Mr. Ade Ipaye, at Government House, Ikeja, was among three other bills presented for the governor’s assent.

Other bills include amendments to provisions of the Emergency Management Agency, EMA, Law and the Administration of Criminal Justice.

Fashola, while assenting to the bills, said the various amendments to the laws were needed to tackle the problem of crime and delay in administration of justice in the state.

He said the enactment of the laws represented the commitment of the state government to building strong institutions, that could tackle crime and corruption, which had crippled the country.

He added that the country needed strong legislation to fight corruption and moral laxity.

Fashola explained that the Criminal Code Law, used in the state before now was enacted in 1914 by the colonial masters, saying that such laws and their provisions had since become obsolete and could not address challenges posed by present realities.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2011/08/fashola-signs-law-against-abandonment-of-pregnant-women/

@ aisha2 i1

Unfortunately she's not in Lagos. This thing played out between Abuja (where she was working and met the guy) and Calabar (where she gave birth and is currently residing). I have no idea if she's met his family. Usually situations like this the man has kept her from seeing his family but I will put that idea through.

Kudos to LSG and Fashola for enacting such laws.

cococandy:
I don't wanna blame her but I will a little. Why did she give up the federal appointment? Big risk.

Well you can contact a family lawyer on her behalf and see what he/she has to say. You never know what is allowed in the constitution until you try to make a case

It was the most absurd thing such a person could do. The man bought her a car and it was like a drug or charm. God help us.

I don't know any family Lawyers around me so I guess I have to ask around.

elantraceey:
Well the earlier she starts looking for another job the better , totally depending on a man is not ideal even when you're married to him not to talk of when you're just his baby mama.

Yes that would be the way forward eventually just that right now she's just devastated by the whole thing, someone that wasn't thinking straight before.

Reading some stories on NLD can be quite depressing.

So, a lady suffered, went to school and was one of the lucky lot to get a fed. Job. A man comes around, buys her a "car", bannngs her real good, and gives her some change and she dumps her job, gives up everything and becomes someone's pest and puppy?

I don't understand where we are heading to as a country, society with this mindset.

If she could leave her job for a man that even told her he has another woman or he would marry her only if she births boys(what rubbish!), then trust me going to social welfare is waste of time. Once the man goes back to dangle car keys, change of wardrobe and some cash, she will withdraw the case half way.

SMH

That man should not pay one dime! Foolish women everywhere! Some women decisions make me wanna grab a big cane and flog some sense into some supposed female adults! What nonsense! How can you abandon your job for an idiotic promise? You were enticed by a car to have kids for a man who doesn't give a hoot about you..Are you a child making machine? I don't care what anybody thinks but it is going to be very hard for me to respect some women! What stopped her from insisting the guy marries her first. Fools everywhere!

LordReed:
@ aisha2 i1
Unfortunately she's not in Lagos. This thing played out between Abuja (where she was working and met the guy) and Calabar (where she gave birth and is currently residing). I have no idea if she's met his family. Usually situations like this the man has kept her from seeing his family but I will put that idea through.
Kudos to LSG and Fashola for enacting such laws.

Well she can try social welfare. The law works but the problem is women like this who want a man at all cost and really dont care much about the kids, they are just bait to her. They waste state resources after wasting time and energy state resources she abandons the case half way and comes whinning months later.

Usually its better the woman decides she wants child support herself and in serious about getting it.
It is not a favor the man is doing its his responsibility, the state wont beg you, if you can afford it they force you because if they dont the child would likely end up in state custody so we take it seriously, its out women who don't take it serious

What can l say when some people will shout you down, yelling that they have right to pre-marital sex! Baby mama is no career! First and foremos, let the lady herself get engaged with something that will earn her income to support herself & the kids.