The above extract from the lyrics of the 1966 hit song
“When a man loves a woman” written by Calvin Lewis and
Andrew Wright aptly sums up the kind of power a woman
often wields over a man. “What man can pretend to know
the riddle of a woman’s mind?” pondered Miguel de
Cervantes Saavedra , in the classic novel Don Quixote . Call
it love or obsession, it’s all about power and control. Who
has the power and who is in control? Will there ever be
peace on earth except there is peace between man and
woman? Man is destined to rule, but the balance of power is
constantly under negotiation.
It begins with an argument. The man says: “What a man
can do, a woman can’t do better.” But the woman replies:
“What a man can do, a woman can do better.” There have
always been arguments over the relevance of trying to
determine which the better sex is.
Admittedly, we live in a largely male-dominated world. The
world is man-made and made for man. Man rules. If you
are a man, the world is in your pocket. Being born male is
an advantage first more than any other factor. Man is king
because he is destined to rule and appointed to dominate.
A male-dominated society is one that benefits men in the
laws, education, academia, inheritance, religion, and
general day-to-day life. A man does not only have the
mandate, but the manifesto and manpower to manipulate
the woman and the world at large.
Even the female reproductive cycle and health is tied to the
male ideology. Girls going through puberty are said to be in
their “menarche”. Women who “menstruate” are seeing their
“menses”, and women at the end of their reproductive life,
are going through the “menopause”. All these words
comprise the key word “men”.
But while the man may have the world at his feet, the
woman has him firmly in her pocket. As mothers, don’t
women beget men and the entire world? Are women not the
reason the world exists in the first place? The debate rages.
Several comparative analyses of the sexual, political and
economic emancipation of women, show there is not much
difference between men and women in terms of talent,
motivation, successes and ambition. However, compared to
men, women are “naturally” at a disadvantage. But what
she lacks in physical strength and tenacity, a woman more
than makes up for psychologically, emotionally and
spiritually.
Nature is somehow unkind to women, particularly in the
area of reproductive health. It takes two to tango, but
society (this side of the world) tends to claim the child
“belongs” to the man, never mind that it is the woman that
gets pregnant and goes through labour to give birth. It is the
woman that breastfeeds, nurtures, and weans the child. It is
the woman who has to take time off for the sake of the
children while the man can be “excused” from such chores
because “he is a man”.
This notwithstanding, women are more territorial than men
when it comes to their families and offspring. True, a man
builds the house or pays rent for one, but it takes the touch,
presence and ambience a woman make it a home. A home
is incomplete without that feminine touch.
What or who is a woman? The answers are varied. “A
woman is a female human being that is made from a man
and specifically for the man,” noted Olabisi, a 45-year-old
mother and housewife. “I am a woman and I know how
much a woman complements and completes a man,” says
Romoke, 25-year-old medical doctor. In the view of
Oluwatoyin, 37, a single mother: “It is said that behind every
successful man, there is a woman, in other words, a man
needs a woman’s input in order to be successful. I don’t
know if it is the same thing the other way around.” Tola, 33,
puts it this way: “If we recall the story of creation in the
Bible ‘And the Lord said, it is not good for the man to be
alone, I will make him an help meet (Gen2 18, 19).’ So we
can see that man is incomplete without woman. Woman is
designed and customised for man and is actually the best
part of a man.”
In her own view, Felicia Okon, 37, sees every woman as “a
potential wife, mother, sister, aunt, niece and daughter.
Woman is the desire of man and is made to satisfy man.
Woman is shelter for man and is engineered to turn a house
into a home. Without woman, the purpose of creation would
be unfulfilled,” she asserts. But Akin Falade, a Lagos-based
legal consultant thinks it is illogical comparing a man to a
woman because they are biologically different and so
directly incomparable. “Men and women are created
differently and for different purposes and tasks. For
instance, in procreation, a man fathers a child, and a
woman is the mother.
“A man cannot be a “mother”, just as a woman cannot a
“father”. Each lacks the equipment and attitude to carry out
the role of the other which is well spelt out and cannot be
exchanged. So there would be no sense asking which is
better. Both sexes are important. Every woman is work in
progress, and not a finished product. There is no perfect
woman, just as every man is imperfect.”
Akin’s conviction is that it makes more sense to ask which
the “stronger” or “dominant” sex is. “Man and woman are
meant to complement and not rival each other, but everyone
knows that man is the stronger and dominant sex,” he
concludes.
The wise man knows it pays never underestimate the power
of a woman. And lest anyone forgets, hell hath no fury like
a woman scorned. Women are born to demand their share.
But has sexual equality ever existed? There is doubt about
this. When it comes to relationships, a man tends to be
motivated by what he sees while a woman is quite likely to
act on what she knows. While a man cares about his
woman’s appearance, her looks, her shape and her
structure, the woman is more concerned about her man’s
functionality, character, mindset and potential. In
relationships, men savour the moment, while women are
more disposed toward the long haul.
A sexual selection theory predicts endemic cooperation and
conflict between potential or actual sex partners. For the
male and female species, sexual encounters provoke games
of strategic decision-making. It’s actually a game of wits.
Humans, as large-brained mammals are in an eternal battle
for supremacy. This tug of war between the sexes is
generally suspected to be part of the evolutionary force that
propelled the emergence of human culture. The male
dominance/female submission patterns are gradually being
reversed. The modern woman has emerged and there is
evidence she is asserting gender relevance (not equality) by
getting men to be more assertive. A man can only be as
good as the woman determines. So the man is kept on his
toes. Women motivate men because they collectively
control the ultimate scarce resource: sex.
Whoever is saying women are not relevant needs to think
again. Women have a lot to bargain with – their nature and
their nurture. Man cannot function effectively without
woman because he is irrelevant without her. In the book of
creation, woman was created from man, so woman is a part
of man, and he is incomplete without her. Whether we admit
it or not, the gender balance of power is slowly but steadily
shifting.