By Mayo Bayo www.tlkdrum.com

Akpors or Akpos has the case might be is a Nigerian character who has become very synonymous with comic,cleverness, mischief and foolishness.In most of the jokes that are about akpors, you would usually find the joke centered round a young man who either gets into trouble for making certain comments, or does a very foolish thing that puts him in trouble, whatever form the jokes take, you would always get to laugh yourself off. Here are Top 10 Hilarious Akpors Jokes on the Internet that will make you laugh your yourself off.Don't forget



1[b].An illiterate Father(akpos) with his Educated[/b]


An illiterate Father(akpos) with his Educated son went on a camping trip. They set up their tent and fell asleep.
Some hours later, Akpos wakes his Son up and asks " Look up to the sky and tell me what you see?" son: "I see millions of stars."
Akpos: "What does that tell you son?
Son: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of Galaxies & Planets."
Akpos slaps Son hard and says, "You idiot! Pesin don thief our Tent(meaning,Someone has stolen our tent)

Moral:It’s one thing to be educated,it’s another thing to have common sense



2.Barrister Akpors and the Village Farmer



Barrister Akpors who's gone to the village for Xmas celebration went hunting in a nearby village.

He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As Barrister Akpors climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing.

He responded,

"I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I'm going in to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied,

"This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

Arrogant Akpors said,

"I am one of the best trial attorneys in this country, and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything!"

The old farmer smiled and said,

"Apparently, you don't know how we do things here. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three-Kick Rule."

Barrister Akpors asked,

"What is the three-Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied,

"Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

Barrister Akpors quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old farmer.

He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly walked up to him.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into Akpor's groin and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick nearly wiped Akpors' nose off his face.

Barrister Akpors was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

He eventually summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said,

"Okay, you old farmer, now it's my turn."

The farmer smiled and said,

"Now, I give up. You can have the duck."



Moral: No matter how well educated you are, RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!



3.Akpor's and his teacher



Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a woman. Class what do we learn from this?

Akpos: We should stop wasting time in studies and find that WOMAN.

4.Akpos and the Cannibals



Akpos, Musa and Rukewe were lost in a forest and captured by cannibals. The king of d cannibals told them they had a chance to live if only they could pass a testl. The 1st step was to go deep into d forest n get 10 pieces of d same kind of fruits.
The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits. Rukewe came back and said to the king,
"I brought 10 apples", the king explained the trial to him, 'you have to snif the fruits up into your butt without any expression on your face or you will be killed. The 1st apple went in, but on the 2nd one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
Akpos the smart guy arrived and showed the king ten (10) berries. When d king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy,
1,2,3,4 ,5,6,7,8 nd on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed.
Rukewe n Akpos met in heaven. The rukewe asked, "why did you laugh?", you almost got away with the trial", Akpos replied,"I couldn't help it, I saw the Oga Musa coming with pineapples

5.At the bus stop



Akpos got to School late on Monday Morning and his teacher asked; Teacher: Why did u come late to skool?.
Akpos: One man lost 1000 naira note at the Bus Stop.
Teacher: ohhh...I see..were you helping him to look for the money?. Akpos: No!!.. I DEY CRAZE...Na me stand on top d money since!(meaning am I mad?,I was the one standing on the money)

6.Akpos in a Brothel



Akpos knocked on the gate of a brothel in a red light district. The madam opened the brothel door to see a young man called Akpos. His clothes were all tattered and he looked needy.??
can I help you?” the madam asked.??
I want Onome,” Akpos replied.??
Young Man, Onome is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else…”??
No, I must see Onome.” Akpos replied. Just then Onome appeared and announced to Akpos that she charges N50,000 per visit.??
Akpos never blinked and reached into his pocket and handed her fifty pieces of N1,000 notes. The two went up to a room for an hour whereupon Akpos calmly left.
The next night he appeared again demanding Onome.
Onome explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts. it was still N50,000. Again Akpos took out the money, the two went up to the room and he calmly left an hour later
When Akpos showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again he handed Onome the money and up to the room they went.

At the end of the hour Onome questioned Akpos: “No one has ever used my services three nights in a row… where are you from?”??
Akpos replied, “I am from Warri.” “Really?” replied Onome, “I have a brother who lives there and does business.”??
Yes; I know,” Akpos replied. “He gave me N150,000 to give to you.



7.Akpos walks into a barber shop



Akpos walks into a barber shop,and asked,"can I get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." Akpos left. A few days later Akpos stuck his head in the door again and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut, The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." Akpos left.

A week later akpos came into the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour only." The akpos left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey,Kufure, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut but then he doesn't ever come back. "

A little while later, he returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"

Kufure looked up, tears in his eyes and said,
"To your wife."

8.Akpors to Ekaitte

Akpors to Ekaitte: I can make u say 'I LOVE U'.

Ekaitte: No wayyy!!
Akpors: Bet?

Ekaitte: Yes.

Akpors: Ok start... Say blue?

Ekaitte: Blue.

Akpors: Say pink?

Ekaitte: Pink.

Akpors: Say love?

Ekaitte: Love.

Akpors: What's 1 1?

Ekaitte: 2

Akpors: Ur age?

Ekaitte : 22

Akpors: Hahahaha... I told you I could make you say 22!!

Ekaitte: No, you said you could make me say 'I LOVE U'

Akpors: Yes yes.. I just did.


9.Akpors and his Teacher

Teacher: Whoever answer my next question correctly can go home.

Upon hearing this, Akpos threw his bag outside through the window.

Teacher: Who threw the bag?

Akpos: Me, can I go home now?



10.A trip to Italy

A Ekaitte (akpor's wife) goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

... Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

Ekaittes : 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?'

Akpors: laughs and says: 'An Italian girl!!!'
The wife kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: 'So, honey, how was the trip?'
'Very good, thank you.' 'And, what happened to my present?'

'Which present?' She asked.
'The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!'
'Oh, that' she said 'Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for 9 months to see if it
is a girl !!!'

Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent!

Extra-Akpos and the White man
Black man Akpos and a white
man were seated on plane.

Akpos had a bunch of banana, while the
white man had a monkey.

Akpos wanted to go to the toilet, so he
said to the white man “Please watch over
my bananas, while I’m gone”.

He went, came back and found out that the
bananas were all gone. The white man
pointed at the monkey and said, ”your
brother the monkey ate all of them”.

Akpos smiled and said nothing. Minutes
later, the white man said, “Please hold my
monkey while I pee”.

He came back and met the monkey dead.

He asked Akpos what happened and he
replied, “This is a family matter, please stay
out of it!”

Extra-Akpos the Inspector

A woman reporting to the police: Sir, my husband went to by potatoes 5 days ago and he is not back up to now.
inspector Akpos: why not cook something else abi,or is it only potatoes you like to eat

if you didn't laugh all through this,then your problems are bigger than the jokes.My Brother you need a therapist.Source http://www.tlkdrum.com/top-10-akpors-jokes-that-will-crack-your-ribs/