LWKMD,... ; no offense to his supporters.

Asiwaju: Alarm don blow o. They just called me
from INEC that our party would be disqualified if
you refuse as usual, to submit your basic
certificates. They said you did not submit any
certificate in all your past attempts. Five-star
Army General without basic education, where is
your First School Leaving Certificate?

Fayemi: Asiwaju waiti jare. Don't Go Ballistic yet
o. Let us hear from the horse's mouth o.

Tinubu: Dr. Fayemi, bobo yi olo primary school o.

Buhari: Walahi talahi, I do not have any. That is
why am here to beg you to help me quench this
scandal with ease like you quenched your chicago/
toronto scandal. But you should know am not
Ojukwu who joined military with Oxford University
degree. During our time, education was not
compulsory.

Fayemi: Ha ha ha. Two halfwits. Awon Olodo Meji.
Like Toronto like Military. Birds of the same
feather flock together. What am I even doing in
their midst?

Asiwaju: You should have told us that in the
military, primary education is not compulsory.

Buhari: Are you saying I must have FSLC to know
how to handle AK-47and pull the trigger? I am a
combatant and I can destroy the enemies with or
without primary school education. For example,
those our boys in Sambissa, the Bokos (I do not
want Fayemi to hear), do you think they have
primary education? Are they not performing
better than a PhD?

Tinubu: You are deviating. To start with, the
Sambissa issue is a top secret between me and you.
Let us not go there in public. How do we solve this
problem? Should we bring in Oby Ezekwesili and
that hungry boy, Dino, to make some noise again.

Fayemi: Please count me out o. I still have my
N50Million bed and mattresses scandal to settle
with Fayose. I am not ready to go to jail yet.
Both of you are supporter of APC. You know how to beat
the system. So deal with it.

Buhari: You see why we can not trust people like
Fayose? First you gave me Okadigbo, where is he
now? He left without me. Then Bakare, he could
not even step down for someone else when we
asked him to. Now again it is Osinbajo. Where is
Osinbajo? Is this problem not affecting him as my
running mate as well?

Tinubu: I am here for myself and Osinbajo. How
many times would I need to remind you that
Osinbajo is in this election as proxy? He is
standing in for me in the election assuming we
are allowed to contest.

Buhari: Ok. We can send a message to Shekau to
increase tempo and then release a tape that no
one should be disqualified because of Western
Education in any Nigerian election.

Tinubu: Yes, yes. That is a good move. If it does
not work I will # VoteJonathan o and also tell my
people to # VoteGEJ2015 . I can dump any
candidate at anytime. Ask Ribadu what I did to
him in the last presidential election.

Fayemi: In view of this invincible certificate, I
have already decided to # StandWithJonathan

Buhari: But can't we super-impose my name on
one of the very many certificates of Osinbajo?
After all, what is he my deputy for if he cannot
help me out in difficult situations like this.

Tinubu: I say No to that. The moment we do that
Obasanjo will start again. It could even end up in
the new book he is writing. You must produce your
certificates. Gowon, IBB, Obasanjo, Danjuma,
AbdulSalam, and couple of your other colleagues
are all still alive. How do we convince them that
you returned back to school without their
knowledge, couple of years ago?

Fayemi: There is no way you could have gone back
to primary school after being a Head of state and
it would remain a secret up till now.

Buhari: But I am born-to-rule and not born-to-
attend-school. To rule this estate called Nigeria is
my right and the right of my people. You people
can continue to go to school. I wish you goodluck.

What a good way to start the sunday. Buhari has fail. Gej all the way.