I have gradually and unintentionally turned into a relationship adviser since I posted my two recent posts:

1. 6 Reasons That Keep Nigerian Ladies Above 30yrs From Marrying. Please Avoid Them! [url] (https://www.nairaland.com/2130732/6-reasons-keep-nigerian-ladies)[/url]

2. 7 Tips To Help Nigerian Men Understand, Date And Enjoy A Lady Above 30!! (https://www.nairaland.com/2138577/7-tips-nigerian-men-understand).

None of the rejoinders have been as irritating as the one I had few days ago offline with a sista based at Lagos. I guess she's not yet married and still feels on-top of the world. The summary was that she defined a man who loves her as a 'man who supports her with money and gift' and described women who date men who don't give them money as 'Cheap'. because in her little mind a man values his woman through cash and gifts. What a wasted brain! She practically called me 'Cheap', when I mounted my defense. I laughed within me because both financially, socially, educationally, career-wise, even by physical endowment she is not a match. Fore Haven's sake I paid for my car from my savings; no man bought it for me and I am proud of that, while she's still looking for job.

There are some young sisters you speak to sometime the way they talk, even as a lady I won't marry them if I was man or allow someone I love to marry them.

MY Defense: I am not cheap because I date for love, you are cheap because you have a negotiable price.

1. No Man Will Like To Marry A Prostitute: Some men may like patronizing prostitutes but I am yet to meet a single man who will knowingly choose a prostitute as a wife, no matter how long he slept with her or how good she's in bed. Even you, will you allow your brother to marry a prostitute? So why make yourself look like one? What's the difference between a prostitute who sleeps with men for money, and a graduate who dates only men who will give her money and gifts? - A prostitute asks for money before 'it', the graduate expects money after 'it'. Both are in the same profession...Period!

2. A Cheap Lady Defined: A cheap lady is not a lady who accepts cheap gifts, rather it's a lady whose 'value' is quite low. A cheap lady is a lady any man who can afford her price can have her; with money and gifts you can get her. She's a commodity, and lacks dignity. It doesn't matter how big, how pretty, how highly placed, lavishly dressed, or how educated she is, if she has a price (even if it's $1mil) she's a commodity. A man who can afford $1mil can buy her for her dog. Unfortunately, this is what most Naija ladies describe as a 'big girl'. but that's actually the definition of a 'cheap girl' . The tough girl selling pure water on the street, resisting and rejecting men who want to buy her with money, may look shabby, yet has dignity.

3. Money And Gifts Dont Mean A Man values You Please can we all get beyond this obscene belief that a man who loves u is the man who gives u money and buys you gift? That's so Needy! I don't hear this from my colleagues from poorer, African countries. I hear it more from my naija sistas. Are you telling me a married man who keeps u as a mistress and pays you for the service you perform on him and goes home to cuddle his wife, loves you bc he buys you gift? So does it mean a woman can no longer be in love with a hard-working man with a modest income? SMH!

4. Why Depend On A Man?: Why would I depend on a man or look for a man who will take care of my needs like a baby when I went to the same school, spent the same number of years got the same degree, and did NYSC as him? Why shouldn't I compete with my male colleagues and make my own money? If I have my own money then I don't have to necessarily wait to marry a man who's rich. I can marry just any man I am compatible with. With his income and mine we can live a life of our dream. I married a man I earn more than. He respects me knowing that I didn't marry him because of his money. If the tables turn tomorrow and he begins to earn more than I do & tries to lord it over me I have basis to remind him how we started. Please sista get beyond this overtly cheap needy spirit. You are going to end up as a 'paid slave'.

Sista, I am whom I am with all glory to God and thanks to my immaculate mother Mary as my role model. I can guess you are hanging out with wrong people, and may regret the choices you made today because you are young and naive. Nigeria is not the poorest country in the world.

May God in His infinite blessings redirect the paths of all derailing sisters in Nigeria. Direct my own paths too oh Lord and don't let me be wasted! Nigeria will rise again!

How dose this help me woo my crush
I never tell her sha
My other acct was baned by one mofo mod

The gods are to be invited here. Humans should stay off, I repeat again. HUMANS SHOULD STAY OFF..

BeeBeeOoh:
The gods are to be invited here. Humans should stay off, I repeat again. HUMANS SHOULD STAY OFF..

why the gods? The lady didn't sound like a priestess neither am I a priestess.

I just feel it's one of those needy ladies from villa hustling to catch up with her colleagues who believe that wearing a blue dress made in Vietnam with a matching blue shoe with blue bag is the definition of class and 'big girl' . Aabeg! a big girl weighs about 160lbs, and classy girl is always on top of her class (na brain o, no be body dey give person class).....

Educate some of these brainless bimbos here.
Keep it up.

iykedare:
Educate some of these brainless bimbos here.
Keep it up.

I really didn't mean to bash or judge anyone though. I am simply on a mission to prove people wrong that all Nigerian ladies are bad, materialistic, unappreciative and will fall for money. There are millions of Nigerian ladies out there who are very decent, hardworking, and can't fall for money. However the attention-craving, low-value commodities with price tags make everyone look bad. They may be in the minority and often girls from very poor backgrounds who want to erase poverty from their lineage at all cost, but in a wrong way. Surprisingly not a whole lot of girls raised in wealthy, and decent middle class families have this fake 'Big girl' mentality, yet they have it all.

Its very rare to see a woman to think and talk like this, all i'll say is your Husband is lucky to have you OP!

good one dear

Joel3:
good one dear

^^^^Thanks. Hope u change your mindset too about Nigerian ladies. we are not all wasted!

Woged2005:


^^^^Thanks. Hope u change your mindset too about Nigerian ladies. we are not all wasted!

Hahah first of all i really don't believe in bandwagons. And when people shows more like or interest on something the more I will hate that thing. you can called it jealous. I don't care.


I don't always agree with the majority and popular trends. And I really don't care what people think about me.? the more people hate me the more I am comfortable with it.

whoever insult me I will insult back, I never fail on that. when people tried to put what you says or your opinion down means they want to feel good about themselves.

Not forgetting that We have so many fake people here who only want people to liked them by their comment. They follow the trends so people sees them as good and sometimes they don't really have their own idea on anything to say but they will you just follow what people say and start commenting trash.

but the truth they are more worst in real life. I am not here for people to like me and I only speak my mind from the reality.

So asking me if I change should not be it. I Not a chameleon. I am the real me on nairaland.

But one truth is I am really a nice and quite guy in real world.

Joel3:



Hahah first of all i really don't believe in bandwagons. And when people shows more like or interest on something the more I will hate that thing. you can called it jealous. I don't care.


I don't always agree with the majority and popular trends. And I really don't care what people think about me.? the more people hate me the more I am comfortable with it.

whoever insult me I will insult back, I never fail on that. when people tried to put what you says or your opinion down means they want to feel good about themselves.

Not forgetting that We have so many fake people here who only want people to liked them by their comment. They follow the trends so people sees them as good and sometimes they don't really have their own idea on anything to say but they will you just follow what people say and start commenting trash.

but the truth they are more worst in real life. I am not here for people to like me and I only speak my mind from the reality.

So asking me if I change should not be it. I Not a chameleon. I am the real me on nairaland.

But one truth is I am really a nice and quite guy in real world.

Awwwwwww! I love your spirit, young man....you are such a charmer! But it's good to have more friends than enemies to surround yourself with positive energy than negative energy, to exude love than hate. So I suggest you do more things that will endear you to people than things that will make people hate you..

Woged2005:



Awwwwwww! I love your spirit, young man....you are such a charmer! But it's good to have more friends than enemies to surround yourself with positive energy than negative energy, to exude love than hate. So I suggest you do more things that will endear you to people than things that will make people hate you..

you are right. But too difficult to work on I am not extrovert.

This is nice

lilmax:
This is nice

Thanks bro

That young lady must have really gotten to you to become this fiery.

You know Op you should actually be organising ano online relationship class for the ladies here on NL they sure do need it!!! Nice job i've learnt a whole lot from it ......

striktlymi:
That young lady must have really gotten to you to become this fiery.

You have no idea how it feels.

I Soo relate with op in many instances. It's so irritating and nauseating to say the least.
And Not only new age girls, even we have 40year olds flaunting how they waited all their life for a man to sweep them off their feet to cater for their needs. championing couch warming skills.

And call hardworking independent woman cheap and unfortunate.

Go OP.. Let the big gehs kontinu, nobody will tell them to get a JOB when reality HITS!

Impressive, i just hope they will be open minded and not feel as if they are been judged, once again keep it up.

You are cheap when you do not give yourself selfrespect.

ivyy:
You are cheap when you do not give yourself selfrespect.

What does that mean?



OP is very correct..I once dated a lady who left because "she benefited nothing from me". Now how cheap is that?

What that simply means is that I would have ffked her silly if she got the little things she needed from me. That to me is very cheap.

Brandnew2:

What does that mean?



OP is very correct..I once dated a lady who left because "she benefited nothing from me". Now how cheap is that?

What that simply means is that I would have ffked her silly if she got the little things she needed from me. That to me is very cheap.

English is not that hard. Yes your x was cheap, she gave herself no selfworth with that statement she made coz now am sure she's lost every iota of respect you once had for her

ivyy:



English is not that hard. Yes your x was cheap, she gave herself no selfworth with that statement she made coz now am sure she's lost every iota of respect you once had for her

Technically speaking, she's not even my ex cuz dating someone doesn't exactly mean you had a relationship.

Or am I wrong?

Brandnew2:

Technically speaking, she's not even my ex cuz dating someone doesn't exactly mean you had a relationship.

Or am I wrong?

If you date someone I think you most def had some kind of relationship with the person that was not platonic.
So yes I think she can be classified as your x . Except ofcoz it was just that you took her out on a date

ivyy:


If you date someone I think you most def had some kind of relationship with the person that was not platonic.
So yes I think she can be classified as your x . Except ofcoz it was just that you took her out on a date

Actually, most of the relationships I've had were platonic.

Brandnew2:

Actually, most of the relationships I've had were platonic.

Lol okay

Gbam jide girl

Ewuro4:


You have no idea how it feels.

I Soo relate with op in many instances. It's so irritating and nauseating to say the least.
And Not only new age girls, even we have 40year olds flaunting how they waited all their life for a man to sweep them off their feet to cater for their needs. championing couch warming skills.

And call hardworking independent woman cheap and unfortunate.

Go OP.. Let the big gehs kontinu, nobody will tell them to get a JOB when reality HITS!

irunoko:
Gbam jide girl

Kuilye ?? wetin do Sambarry I no fit pronounce this moniker sef bad girl

Ewuro4:


Kuilye ?? wetin do Sambarry I no fit pronounce this moniker sef bad girl

one hediot or shediot moderator arrested sambarry oh that's why she use another Monica bet today na my release day. How you take knowsay na me gan sef

irunoko:
one hediot or shediot moderator arrested sambarry oh that's why she use another Monica bet today na my release day. How you take knowsay na me gan sef

Okay sounds good.
I know everybody's unique writing wella

Blablablabla!

irunoko:
Gbam jide girl

Irun obo!

Haaaa lobatan o

Ewuro4:

Okay sounds good.
I know everybody's unique writing wella