1st of all, this is an alternate moniker created specifically for this thread. I don’t have time for Nairaland’s holier than thou hypocrites to start bombarding me with stupid mentions. If I’ve learnt 1 thing about Nairaland over the years, it’s that it’s full of adolescents, teenagers and m.oronic adults. Would de-activate it once it has served its purpose. Also, if it’s in the wrong section, the MODs should please help me place it appropriately. I was torn between the romance and sexuality sections.

A couple days ago, someone created a thread about NYSC and its escapades and it got me reminiscing about my year of service. A lot happened but I’ll try and pen some of the more vivid ones down. I’m not a good story teller so I apologize in advance if the story doesn’t flow well and if it breeds confusion. It might also be pretty long so I’ll post it in parts. My 1st thread on Nairaland. Enjoy.

I was posted to Cross River state as a Batch C ‘otondo’. An average/below average looking dude in a strange land with enough forests. It was a little difficult to locate the Obubra camp, being my first visit to the state, but I was able to; besides I’ve seen states with worse roads and under-development. I entered camp at night and went through the usual process of registering and getting a bunk. I dropped my bag, and off to mammy I went.

A few days into camp, I’ve made friends. An Ibadan boy in my platoon was the first and he will stick with me till the end of service. Fun dude. We use to always make the ladies laugh in our platoon, although one particular girl nearly ruined the friendship early on. She was extremely pretty, dark skinned, smart too. Boys was scared of her because she embarrassed quite a few guys in camp just for talking to her because she was a no-nonsense type of person. She was usually on her own, always reading a novel. The first time we chatted was just normal and cool. I didn’t even know she was the girl most guys have complained about. I asked her about herself and where she was from, praised her beauty and told her to tell me about her book, she did and we later even hung out in mammy for lunch. Unknown to me, my friend fancies her and later brought up ish like ‘na the girl wey I tell you of be that. Why you come dey wan hijack my parol na?’ That was how I lost a potentially smart friend…sorry ‘fine, smart aasss friend’ .

Well as usual, there was always plenty girls to socialize with and since my clique now (we were about 6 now, 4 boys 2 girls) were usually always together and visits mammy a lot, you can imagine how others perceive us. 1 of us was a doctor (technically a dentist but he calls himself doctor), needless to say ; girls love doctors especially in camp so they flock around him. Even our 2 close female friends that’s always with us will bring their friends over. Before you know it, we’ve been acquainted with quite a lot of girls, that made it almost impossible to walk around camp without hearing someone calling your name from afar or extending a greeting to you as you walk by.

Oh yes, the sexx. Boy, there was a lot of it going down in camp. There were girls I knew of that multiple guys hit em. It took me 5 days before I had my 1st sexx. We bonded on my 2nd day in camp during registration. While waiting for our turn we just chatted a little while, and then got to hangout later. It became fairly regular as we will ping into the night while she will call me when going for breakfast or dinner so that we’ll go together. That was how she became a permanent member of our clique (the other girl belonged to 1 of my friends). On the 5th day, after dinner, we were at our favorite bar, cosy up, talking with our friends and sipping a few, later she gave me a look (not gonna describe it) and a signal that she wrote on her phone; So I excused ourselves from the pack and led her inside. I asked the owner of the shop for some privacy and that we weren’t gonna take long. He obliged and that was it. She gave head and we had a quickie. We had a couple more romps after that in camp. Mammy market became our go-to place for sexx. She was a really cool and crazy shawty. She contested for miss NYSC. She brought girls into our gathering. I had 2 other girls during my 3weeks stay. 1 was my platoon mate while the other was her friend. She didn’t mind because she was the one that told me that the girl liked me and that I shouldn’t dull. I’m not gonna lie, I became envious of my friends because they had many of the girls we knew through her while I had to form 1 kind thing so as not to blow things out of proportion.

Camp sexx was crazy, some people had theirs in stinky bathrooms and toilets. Others in the bush (na this one dey fear me pass). About 2 weeks into camps, guys were always looking forward to night time, so that shiit can go down. My guy had his girl on the football field at night. According to him, he wanted her to hold the goal post while he drives from behind, but her legs later wobbled and she got on all fours on the field. Crazy!!!

Funny enough, a lot of people were ignorant of all these going on. Some would even see us in the hostel and make fun of us for fooling around with girls even though we know that nothing will come out from it. We just played along and laugh with them too. “dem no dey tell blind man say rain dey fall’. Also, we didn’t partake in many camp’s activities. We dodged seminars, wasn’t interested in parade and march past etc. Just volunteer for Red Cross and you are good to go. While others are marching, receiving seminars, devotion etc, we will just stand or sit at one end, watching and waiting for someone to faint or injure, and since these are Nigerians, anything of such rarely happens. Nigerians are tough people.

Then came the much awaited ‘camp fire night’. Our soldier friends has already been telling us since that on that night, nobody will tell us ‘light out’ by 10pm, and that corps members can stay out as long as they want that night. They were even giving us advice that it is the night that corpers usually have sexx among themselves (because unknown to them, some of us were already having sexx before then). Well, the camp fire night came with so much excitement from me and my guys because each platoon was to organize a party with food, booze etc, and funny enough, none of us saw it. Only the girls did. They showed us pics of us in masks snapping together and doing some naughty ish (kissing, groping, clowning etc), but none of us guys saw the bonfire. We were already passed out by the time the bonfire was lit.

Some of you would be surprised that we smoked skunk in camp. Sometimes with the knowledge of soldiers. If they were with us drinking at mammy, we’ll take permission from them and go to the back of the shop or inside the shop, smoke a couple and come out. My roommate and later best bud brought s-k to camp (I’m not going to talk about the way he smuggled in the s-k).
All in all, it was a hell of an experience. We saw guys decamped for fighting. We saw married ladies who hid their marital status and engaged in camp sexx. A baby was delivered in camp etc. I made friends. We all said our goodbyes after getting our PPA destinations and a whole lot of us met in Calabar later. I might write about my experiences in Calabar on another thread later.
Thanks to all those that stayed till the end. And my humble apologies for any grammatical errors. #Peace