I hope you find it useful.
A man, an avid gardener, saw a small butterfly
laying few eggs in one of the pots in his garden.
Since that day he looked at the egg with ever
growing curiosity and eagerness. The egg started
to move and shake a little. He was exited to see
a new life coming up right in front of his eyes.
He spent hours watching the egg now. The egg
started to expand and develop cracks.. A tiny
head and antennae started to come out ever so
slowly. The man's excitement knew no bounds.
He got his magnifying glasses and sat to watch
the life and body of a pupa coming out. He saw
the struggle of the tender pupa and couldn't
resist his urge to "HELP".
He went and got a tender forceps to help the
egg break, a nip here, a nip there to help the
struggling life and the pupa was out. The man
was ecstatic! He waited now each day for the
pupa to grow and fly like a beautiful butterfly,
but alas that never happened. The larvae pupa
had an oversized head and kept crawling along
in the pot for the full 4 weeks and died!
Depressed the man went to his botanist friend
and asked the reason. His friend told him the
struggle to break out of the egg helps the larvae
to send blood to its wings and the head push
helps the head to remain small so that the
tender wings can support it through its 4 week
life cycle. In his eagerness to help, the man
destroyed a beautiful life!
Struggles help all of us, that's why a wee bit of
effort goes a long way to develop our strength
to face life's difficulties! As parents, we
sometimes go too far trying to help and protect
our kids from life's harsh realities and
disappointments. We don't want our kids to
struggle like we did.
Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Dan Kindlon says that
over-protected children are more likely to
struggle in relationships and with challenges.
We are sending our kids the message that they
are not capable of helping themselves. To quote
clinical psychologist, Dr. Wendy Moral: "It is
our job to prepare our children for the road
and not prepare the road for our children"
Very insightful and real. I feel all parents need
to read this in the interest of our children and
our country. Our lifestyles these days and mode
of living may not be preparing these children to
be tough mentally and emotionally.
Most modern Nigerian parents may be setting
the younger generation up for relationship
failure. I once had a discussion with a parent
who sees it as absurd that her daughter should
be playing 10-10 ( I believe you know what that
is). Children should be allowed to grow like
children and not be over protected. The life of
Michael Jackson is a lesson in how a child
should not grow. Some of us have indulged
children to live a life that they may find difficult
to maintain when they become independent.