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Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience - Food (3) - Nairaland

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Nigerian Guy Shows His Cooking Skills: Says "Forget About The Big Boy Things" / Some Funny Cooking Practices Done By People / Share Your Funny Cooking Mistakes Here.... (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by franugo(m): 6:47am On Mar 20, 2015
There are so many, don't know which one 2 write downundecidedcry0

well lemme start with the rice...when i's in 100l, my bro put a pot of rice on d gas n told me 2 take care of it n went out. Based on say me na supernovice, i didn't know dt rice was not meant 2 be turned/stirred.gringrin omo na fufu-rice pesin eat dt day o, my bro was so incensed cheesy

the first time i tried 2 make stew, that was in 200l after my bro n sis graduated d previous year, i over-salted d thingcry e con be like say na only salt dey the stewcry

There was another time i tried 2 make egusi peppersoup, but instead made something that tastes like sandcry i troway d thing sharparly sha...i tried 2 make d soup again, though this time the taste was better than sand, but worse than normal, but man of son still eat am with forced smilecheesy

all the oil rice that i have tried 2 prepare na wash, the thing dey annoy me like madttt, oil rice kwa naim dey mock me anyhow shockedcry

hopefully i go improve morecry

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Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by finestiyke(m): 6:50am On Mar 20, 2015
I remember one time like that, in the early 90s, an aunt of mine said she wanted to prepare a special delicacy for the Family.

She bought wheat seeds from the market and said she was gonna COOK wheat for us

Long and short of the story was that 4 hours after she began the cooking, and after filling the stove 2 different times with Kerosene, the Wheat appeared even stronger that it was before she even started cooking it.

Twas later in the day she realized that Wheat seeds are not cooked, but ground.

That was serious "Cooking Practicals"

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Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by pamcode(m): 6:51am On Mar 20, 2015
The two experiences came with Amala, the first one was my first attempt to prepare amala, after puring the yam flour into the hot water and stirring i noticed the amala was softer than normal, i tried putting more flour but no it was to no avail, my dad later trashed me that night, :;( cheesy i was pained cos i was thinking i no be girl now, my mum later told me it was because the water did not boil well b4 i poured the flour. The 2nd one would have beem diaster if not for my mum, i was not able to judge correctly the amount of flour needed for the water because the flour wasnt much, i finsh preparing to discover i could still see water shockedshocked , my mum had to pour custard to save d situation. winkcheesywink thanks mum

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Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by homesteady(m): 6:54am On Mar 20, 2015
lmao! funny stories! gringrin let me remember some of mine -

I know how to bake normal cakes, but I wanted to try sponge cake! After going through all the procedures. ................
When my cake came out, it was so stiff and dry gringrin it seems maybe because i forgot to put baking powder or maybe I put too much flour,
I quickly threw the cake away oh gringrin

My dad bought this already packaged Sliced irish potatoes, so I wanted to do experiment with it!
I decided to make jollof egg irish!
to cut the long story short, it tasted so awful, and the dust bin helped me to eat it!

1 Like

Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by homesteady(m): 6:55am On Mar 20, 2015
finestiyke:
I remember one time like that, in the early 90s, an aunt of mine said she wanted to prepare a special delicacy for the Family.

She bought wheat seeds from the market and said she was gonna COOK wheat for us

Long and short of the story was that 4 hours after she began the cooking, and after filling the stove 2 different times with Kerosene, the Wheat appeared even stronger that it was before she even started cooking it.

Twas later in the day she realized that Wheat seeds are not cooked, but ground.

That was serious "Cooking Practicals"

gringringrin
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by peterjero(m): 7:00am On Mar 20, 2015
AriDsexy:


Are u kidding me?

Perinwinkle inside stew...I'm not surprised this is coming from a guy.

And u even said bliss...hehehe.
Just give it a try, learn openness in cooking those intercontinental dishes were discovered just like this.
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by pbs4real(m): 7:00am On Mar 20, 2015
SisiNini:


I can imagine the embarrassment... Lol... Yes o, guys can eat anything (poison) and still pretend that all is well...

While in school, I prepared 'jollof' spaghetti and served my guy... Instead of him to say he doesn't like spaghetti, he kept eating and his facial expressions continued to change the more he ate the food... I asked him if he doesn't like d food, he said the food is delicious and super... Not until he started using bread to eat the spaghetti that I felt so sad... A while after eating, he vomitted the spag and the bread... #Lol...

Preparing custard in a cup always disgrace me... D tin will neva form unless I put it on a burner... Na so so river niger ooo... Not until my elder bro taught me...
cum mk i teach u.
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by pbs4real(m): 7:03am On Mar 20, 2015
candygosh:


When do I come visiting. I like pounded yam and eggs to bad. Shey u go send me ur addy on whatsapp.

Happy new month btw
u fit pound yam?if i cum visiting wetin u go do?i gues indomie
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by evea: 7:07am On Mar 20, 2015
candygosh:
I remember preparing moi moi once 4 my bf from home to take to him.

After gathering ingredients ( fish , crayfish, egg and all). I made a silly mistake. Didn't add groundnut oil to the blended mixture.
The moi moi came out good oh but u could still tell it had no oil. He just said pls stop saying you prepared moi moi it's ekuru. I wondered what that meant.

Funny I tried to warm it again and was so busy I forgot n d water dried and the plate started shrinking.
that's food 4 the Gods
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by debonairprinx(m): 7:09am On Mar 20, 2015
Moii moi has always been a disaster. Only once it came out fine.
When I was still in school, I peeled d beans n left and went to grind it. The mom was so busy n the dude did the grinding instead. When I got home the beans was so poor I could still see bean fragments in it. And the moi moi came out looking rough.
My roommate couldn't laugh. We just managed it cos of the tuna fish that was in it.
The shame was so much that day when the guys from d other room was laughing. One of the guys who was our close pal came and we offered it to him. He was about taking it out to eat in d room when we both shouted " tayo, abeg chop am 4 here" he just kept laughing but still ate it and said it was good. You know guys will eat anything .[/quote]

Not all guys ma'am.

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Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by mcfynest(m): 7:25am On Mar 20, 2015
SisiNini:


Hmmmmnnn... I'll try it one of these days... My issue is the colour of the snail...



paint it black then
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by Pororo(f): 7:40am On Mar 20, 2015
These stories made my day grin

Meanwhile, I've had so many episodes. My latest is bread making.
When u see recipes online with the pictures, you feel it will be so easy but its totally different when you do it yourself.
And so, I saw a simple bread recipe and I followed the recipe.
When bread finish- na unleavened "kongi" I made!
My husband laughed that day ehn, I wan kill myself.
He encouraged me to keep trying and finally, I made the perfect bread last month and we finished it all without any accompaniment. That was my ultimate reward!

2 Likes

Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by liljboy(m): 7:42am On Mar 20, 2015
lwkmd see comments na



my guy own was that he said he was so hungry that night that he didn't know when he poured detergent in place of salt inside the rice because he had them in the same type of container without labelling it....... come see as foam dey commot for the chow na..... funny part of it was that the guy talk say en later manage the rice chop joor cos it was already late in the night and per say na en last card en carry coordinate the chow LMAO

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Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by Luqso1(m): 7:56am On Mar 20, 2015
A day i wanted to prepare custard, i forgot i have to mix d powder with a little water at first b4 the hot water. The first reaction, i poured the water in the water like that, i knew already that wasn't how custard is like, 2 times i did the same. That day ehn, if u should see our waste basket. Not until i googled how to prepare custard with ma phone shapali shapali.
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by MrHighSea: 8:00am On Mar 20, 2015
candygosh:


Lol that day u just need to see the expressions and he was like. It's not bad 4 an ekuru tho!

My moi moi has always been a disaster. Only once it came out fine.
When I was still in school, I peeled d beans n left and went to grind it. The mom was so busy n the dude did the grinding instead. When I got home the beans was so poor I could still see bean fragments in it. And the moi moi came out looking rough.
My roommate couldn't laugh. We just managed it cos of the tuna fish that was in it.
The shame was so much that day when the guys from d other room was laughing. One of the guys who was our close pal came and we offered it to him. He was about taking it out to eat in d room when we both shouted " tayo, abeg chop am 4 here" he just kept laughing but still ate it and said it was good. You know guys will eat anything.
GUYZ WILL EAT ANYTHING, hshahahahahaha. Chai. I cnt kuk very well, hate kuking sef n goin to market, rada mek i go wash pit-toilet. Bt kuk anytin, it will b eatable.
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by liljboy(m): 8:01am On Mar 20, 2015
another one......


lol
e get one crack village girl... I mean VILL to the AGE (i no go talk the side sha lol). she come town o, she never cook noodle before , me I no know oooo. she cook the thing without the seasoning oooo, the thing was tasteless na so the girl go buy Maggi FOUR put inside..... who does that ?
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by SisiNini(f): 8:01am On Mar 20, 2015
pbs4real:
cum mk i teach u.

Bros, no worry...

Ahmeduana:

THE BEST WAY TO LEARN IS BY PAYING FOR ONES IGNORANCE, PERFECTION COME AT A PRICE.

You are right...

ethylene:

Pls is you Na simbi? U look like her!

Yes... Ali na u be that?
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by liljboy(m): 8:08am On Mar 20, 2015
kpofkpof:
In 1994 to be precise, my cousin and I were asked to prepare Rice n Beans combo for the whole house.

To cut the long story short, the beans was highly undercooked and strong that you would think u were eating rice and stone

When we realised this, we were now tasked with secretly separating the beans from the rice for every plate we dished

Everyone ate 'jollof rice' while my cousin and I tried eating d beans but couldn't and we went to bed hungry!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lwkmd I can only imagine the separation of goats from sheeps hahahaha. I dey enter kitchen wella joor, even tho my female folks still doubt it but within me I no say girl or my wife no go carry cooking do shakara for me
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by liljboy(m): 8:10am On Mar 20, 2015
ademega:
I remember trying out coconut rice for my friends back then on school just because we saw free coconut . I cooked the coconut water ,the chaft ,the water with the rice . at the end of the day we Were going to the toilet every five minutes before the school clinic came to our rescure . that was the end of ordinary coconut eating for my friends let alone with rice .
But I later leant it and I cook it for my family now every Sunday
lol my bro did same ooooo that guy can't cook faaaa damn I wonder how he cooks at school? well pikkin no fine en mama say na world best....... but come to think of it, the coconut rice make sense with the chaft ooooo
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by lordmario(m): 8:12am On Mar 20, 2015
Mine was the first day I cooked jollof rice which turned out to be jonnof nice....
Back then I just started catering work(with a frnd who is a pro) and I wanted to show my peeps at home that I can cook jollof rice very well. Well I sha pack all d ingredient as I see my padi do am for party, na so I pour pepper full am sha in short.... And the good part was the groundnut oil that settled at d base of the pot is enough to fry one cow... But am glad I did sha cos my grandma later taught me how to cook it very well

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Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by Cherrywhite(f): 8:21am On Mar 20, 2015
bmdflo:
mine its kinda funny shar, me and my friends about 5 of us managed to get 3 cups of beans after so many hustle and tussle with our neigbours, it was like our last supper, we all hope to eat, and look unto God 4 our next meal d following morning...beans was halve way done, PHCN perform their normal ritual this particular night, no lamp, so we resulted to lighting candle which was placed on an empty milk can, as I opened d pot of beans which was still on fire to stire and add little salt if need be, I held d tin holding the candle close to the pot to use d candle light, lo and behold, d candle fell into the beans miraculously, before I could say jesus....to late, the candle wick was already floating on the surface with the wax now acting as salt, I called my friends attention, trust guys now, if na this beans go kill us, make we kuku chop die go explain giv baba God y we die was there response, omo! Beans with candle wax sweet die, u can try it tooo.

God I can't stop laughing,wat a terrible xperience,u realy made my morning a laughter one.
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by kaboninc(m): 8:23am On Mar 20, 2015
Hilarious experiences.

Mine is usually common.

Beans no 'done', no salt or too much salt in meals, watery pap (that was then), just minor minor things.
Started cooking since Primary 3 and by Primary 5 I could prepare what the whole family would eat, though with some 'over' and 'under', yet still manageable.

All through my university years, I can count the number of days I eat out.

One thing I've learnt is that there are a thousand and one ways to prepare a meal.

Anyone here, to prepare okpa?
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by zeburudaya: 8:25am On Mar 20, 2015
When i am still was a bachelor in 1968, I prepare a rice with sugar and milk among the ingredients to impress my visiting girlfriend. In the conclusion ending, i ate alone and she was look me with contempt
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by liljboy(m): 8:27am On Mar 20, 2015
Lwkmd this one sha.......
me and my uncle came back late one day, you know as abuja dey be na..... na so we enter kitchen to prepare noodles, my uncle just dey download pepper to the server, I was like , UNC its too mush na, but en just bone...... well, na when en come dish the thing for tray, funny enough it was only two of us..... chai!!!!!! that day I ate the pepper for that whole year in one day, as we dey chop for air condition, na so SWEAT dey come out for my uncle head cos he use to have those kinda stone cold i-hate-hairs-on-my-head laugh no gree me that day, if you take one spoon , you go drink one glass of water.... funny enough we no later finish the thing na him still give me money I go buy all those whitish chalk-like medicine...... na so we shun prescription EN DRINK HALF OF THE BOTTLE, I FINISH THE OTHER....na for midnight we come dey visit the toilet one after the other.
#that night wasn't funny sha until now lwkmd

4 Likes

Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by liljboy(m): 8:31am On Mar 20, 2015
lordmario:
Mine was the first day I cooked jollof rice which turned out to be jonnof nice....
Back then I just started catering work(with a frnd who is a pro) and I wanted to show my peeps at home that I can cook jollof rice very well. Well I sha pack all d ingredient as I see my padi do am for party, na so I pour pepper full am sha in short.... And the good part was the groundnut oil that settled at d base of the pot is enough to fry one cow... But am glad I did sha cos my grandma later taught me how to cook it very well
hahahahahahahajahahahahajahshshshah
Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by Andrew3(m): 8:33am On Mar 20, 2015
Came back from the office and the only thing i felt like eating was 'Goat intestine Pepper soup' grin
With no one to prepare it for me, I said wetin, the breast dem dey use cook? Dived into the market
and bought some goat intestine. Washing took me more than an hour because I am never satisfied
after seen a washed part. I started cooking. Added salt, maggi, onions, then my trouble started.
I opened the cupboard and found two bottles of cooking oil, u know the color naa, I quickly opened
One and emptied quarter of it in my pepper-soup with was already boiling. I kept asking my friend
in the room if he perceiving any aromas and his answer was always no angry

Finally I left the kitchen and went back to check and my whole pot was filled with foan. I thought
maybe I didn't wash it well. I went back to the room only to come out and see my longer throat friend
to take a full plate of the pepper soup explaining how hungry he is and patience is not one of his virtues.
In a few minutes he called and asked me if I washed with soup and I said no, he said there is a soapy smell.
I rushed into the kitchen, brought out my oil and behold, It was a dish washer angry I brought it out and called
my friend, what is this omo see heavy vomit as my answer. grin grin grin grin

6 Likes

Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by nifeseun(f): 8:38am On Mar 20, 2015
:-XLucky me, started cooking at d age of 8, and no matter how bad the food his my family eats it like that and tell me were av made the mistake, then all my errors could be over looked, but won't 4get the mistake made as an adult, it was during xmas and was expecting visitors, normally i make solid food but that day i wanted to try fried rice lipsrsealed

Ehhhh! Was so embarrased dat day, was almost through with the cooking, then remembered av not added maggi, onga maggi just came out then, i just picked the stew flavor and added it to my fried ricesad my fried rice changed color from green to red. Yepa! And there was no time again, i served it like dat o.. Some1 asked ;Nife, what's the name of this rice o cos Ʊ women can try diff kinds of food, i. Just smiled and ans red fried rice...

5 Likes

Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by apholaryn: 8:40am On Mar 20, 2015
liljboy:
Lwkmd this one sha.......
me and my uncle came back late one day, you know as abuja dey be na..... na so we enter kitchen to prepare noodles, my uncle just dey download pepper to the server, I was like , UNC its too mush na, but en just bone...... well, na when en come dish the thing for tray, funny enough it was only two of us..... chai!!!!!! that day I ate the pepper for that whole year in one day, as we dey chop for air condition, na so SWEAT dey come out for my uncle head cos he use to have those kinda stone cold i-hate-hairs-on-my-head laugh no gree me that day, if you take one spoon , you go drink one glass of water.... funny enough we no later finish the thing na him still give me money I go buy all those whitish chalk-like medicine...... na so we shun prescription EN DRINK HALF OF THE BOTTLE, I FINISH THE OTHER....na for midnight we come dey visit the toilet one after the other.
#that night wasn't funny sha until now lwkmd

Indomie #30..atata gigun(ground pepper) #1,005

3 Likes

Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by bbulldog(m): 8:40am On Mar 20, 2015
zeburudaya:
When i am still was a bachelor in 1968, I prepare a rice with sugar and milk among the ingredients to impress my visiting girlfriend. In the conclusion ending, i ate alone and she was look me with contempt
your cooking skills is a bad as your English

3 Likes

Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by indomitable234: 8:44am On Mar 20, 2015
Remembered when I prepared stew,held aa candle to check the stew on the fire Omo naso the candle fall inside ooo,menh I had to serve my dad the stew like dat

1 Like

Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by Missmossy(f): 8:53am On Mar 20, 2015
So many funny posts here,mine was with the fish pepper soup i made for my dad when i was a bit strong grin

2 Likes

Re: Funny Cooking Blunders; Share Your Experience by Nobody: 8:53am On Mar 20, 2015
BeeBeeOoh:
I can't remember over-peppering/salting a food before. But, will always say a very big "Thanks Goes To Mumsie For Making Me Not To Depend On Any Woman To Prepare a Delicasy for me.. It's fun going into d kitchen to cook & it's lovely girls them saying, "You Are A Good Cook after tasting ur cookings. E dey tOtOri body aswear.. smiley smiley

Same here BeeBee, while younger, mum would always tell me to go to the kitchen while my younger sister watches tv. (in my mind, I was like..."what nonsense!" ). Along the line, I got to prepare any kind of meal to the extent of experimenting my own meal style. I remember being ordered by my mum to pound garlic for the first time in my life, that day was a living hell. what is this ? I asked myself; The smell was nasty. Today, I can almost not do without Garlic to the extent that mum even complains. Any time I come from school on holidays, I cook for the house and I could always see the sense of accomplishment in my parents facial expression anytime they eat my food. As man dey grow, Mum would say "Son, you don't cook for me again , you seem to be lazy nowadays." and I say "Mum, am a man you know"
Truly, thanks to her. I taste some ladies food, close my eyes and swallow it like a bitter pill

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