Saw this on a Facebook page & felt I should share because someone else might be in the same predicament.
''Hello and welcome to today’s episode of If It Were
you on facebook. Today’s story is very thought
provoking and I would like you to read and tell us
what you will do if it were you:
Sir, please help me because I am at the verge of
leaving my home and if I do, it is certainly going
to be for a long while. I am an upwardly mobile
young executive (34 years) and I work as a senior
manager in a telecom company. My wife is 27 years
old and we have a 2 years old daughter and
everything is going well except for my wife. My
wife is seriously un-teachable and it is driving me
really crazy….the truth is I am very outgoing and
I love to be trendy and in tune with the times, and
I am always very comfortable with people who are
trendy and intelligent. My wife is intelligent but
certainly not trendy and I have tried to teach her
to up her game but all my efforts meet with
resistance. Her dress sense is worse than that of
my grandma in the village and she claims her
background has taught her to be modest. I almost
denied her that day she came to the office to see
me in “buba an iro” (native attire). All the young
ladies in my office I have been turning down their
indirect advance took a swipe at me and were
asking if she was my elder sister. Another
challenge I have now is that she has refuse to go
back for her B.Sc as we agreed (she has OND)
before our marriage and she insist on starting a
business which I don’t object, but I think she
should have a degree. Now she says it is business
or nothing. I have spoken to the mum and things
have not changed.

The man who had no shoes to wear thought his condition was worst until he met the man without legs. Of course some ppl don't know the value of what they've got until they've lost it. Guy i don't see any problem with your wife, you just lost interest in her because you've seen some other babes in the office like you said. Wait until you pick one of them then you will know they are worst than your wife. That woman you call your wife is the ideal woman, cherish her.

She is very head strong and you will need to take some drastic measures to curb her obstinacy.

I'm not saying you're totally right and she is totally wrong but I can imagine that she wasnt as trendy as Kim Kardashian when you met her and still you fell in love and considered her special enough to spend the rest of your life with.....so it's your cross.

On the other hand, there is nothing wrong in wanting your wife to be better and trendier. It's a mark of the quality of the husband when the wife is top notch so all in all i dont think you have done anything wrong wanting your wife to be trendy or have a degree.

If sshe hasnt listened to anybody you have spoken to you might want to try the mega silent treatment where you dont say more than good morning and good night. Anything she does wrong you ignore like it doesnt matter, she will come back to her senses when she sees that she doesnt have your attention. Afterall her unfashionable nature will make it harder for her to get someone else. You have more to win than she does.

Pele.

#Sai Buhari
#Sai Baba!

you knew about her dress sense and still went ahead, I don't get the complaint now..except you were pretending to be okay along!

I don't understand how people except others to change their spot to their own taste. you should have gone for a classier lady to avoid this story!

but communication is still the key, let your opinion known but don't force it.. don't give silent treatment, I don't get how that will help. take her to gatherings, hang out often in public places, commend the clothes you see on women in her presence and tell her such clothes will look better on her, go shopping together for clothes you'd love on her. you can help her up her game..
but lol@native wear to office that's funny!

and about the degree stuff, why don't you just let her live her life! .. what's the essence of having a bsc degree without using it?(according to the op). she's educated, isnt she? she wants to go into business and a degree isn't necessary to achieve that.. forcing her to get the degree will only amount to time waste,energy,money which could have been spent on whatever business she wants..at the end, the degree will be just a piece of paper abandoned in the wardrobe as she eventually drag back to her business!

but since na una agreement, dey there dey convince her for a degree she won't use eventually.. tsw!

why exactly do you think she needs a degree? if the reason is good enough to change her stance, it ought to have.

Afterall her unfashionable nature will
make it harder for her to get someone
else. You have more to win than she

lol this is hilarious smh

ucheheart:
The man who had no shoes to wear thought his condition was worst until he met the man without legs. Of course some ppl don't know the value of what they've got until they've lost it. Guy i don't see any problem with your wife, you just lost interest in her because you've seen some other babes in the office like you said. Wait until you pick one of them then you will know they are worst than your wife. That woman you call your wife is the ideal woman, cherish her.

smh! you don't see a problem because you are not in his shoes.. people have tastes you know..

how is she the ideal woman?

quivah:

smh! you don't see a problem because you are not in his shoes.. people have tastes you know..

how is she the ideal woman?

miss perfect, to hell with taste. If she dresses fine and start going out and other men start staring at her, the same husband will complain that she is cheating on him. What can you ever do to pls human beings? You are not a man so what do you know abt keeping a wife at home?

ucheheart:
miss perfect, to hell with taste. If she dresses fine and start going out and other men start steering at her, the same husband will complain that she is cheating on him. What can you ever do to pls human beings? You are not a man so what do you know abt keeping a wife at home?

I thought as much , insecurity!that's the only reason you spewed that rubbish in your first post!
so , she can't cheat as unfashionable as she is?

its 'staring', how them go dey steer person ..no be moto!

I don't know how to keep a woman at home but I know about 'individual taste'.. the husband in the op wants his wife to change... to his taste.. your woman can go about in wrapper, but guess what that's your woman!!

don't judge others based on her style! that's rubbish!

Mr weak man!

ideal woman indeed, insecurity at its peak!

quivah:



I thought as much , insecurity!that's the only reason you spewed that rubbish in your first post!
so , she can't cheat as unfashionable as she is?

its 'staring', how them go dey steer person ..no be moto!

I don't know how to keep a woman at home but I know about 'individual taste'.. the husband in the op wants his wife to change... to his taste.. your woman can go about in wrapper, but guess what that's your woman!!

don't judge others based on her style! that's rubbish!

Mr weak man!

ideal woman indeed, insecurity at its peak!

rubish! It's the likes of you that deceive men to drive their wives so you will go into their homes. Husband snatcher with low self efficacy. Nonsense! Your parents didn't teach you manners, even on public forums you can't control your fugly stinking manners. Shediot.

ucheheart:
rubish! It's the likes of you that deceive men to drive their wives so you will go into their homes. Husband snatcher with low self efficacy. Nonsense! Your parents didn't teach you manners, even on public forums you can't control your fugly stinking manners. Shediot.

going by your stance, you started the loud mouth..should I say your mum failed woefully in her primary duty? raising a shameless low lifer? fvcktard! the joke is on you

mumu grade one. you need to deal with two problems in your life-

-insecurity
-bad mouth..
you shouldn't be raising another set of nuisances in the society..

Kip praying for her. She will b a better person

quivah:



going by your stance, you started the loud mouth..should I say your mum failed woefully in her primary duty? raising a shameless low lifer? fvcktard! the joke is on you

mumu grade one. you need to deal with two problems in your life-

-insecurity
-bad mouth..
you shouldn't be raising another set of nuisances in the society..

bi.tch i never spoke on your post so why did you pick on me and how did i start it? Even the op didn't reply my comment, are you his mouth piece? Now you are insulting my mum, you are not gonna like me by the time i am done with you. You better mind your business or you will even regret commenting on this post. Ewu furu ohia.

ucheheart:
bi.tch i never spoke on your post so why did you pick on me and how did i start it? Even the op didn't reply my comment, are you his mouth piece? Now you are insulting my mum, [b]you are not gonna like me by the time i am done with you. [/b]You better mind your business or you will even regret commenting on this post. Ewu furu ohia.

now its just getting funny!
@emboldened .. lmao! errm dude, is there anyone who really like you in the real world?! your insecurity is enough to make the devil hate you
and errm so e fit pain you if another person make a comment about your mum but you dey feel fly insulting other people's parents.. hahaha!!

no, I won't mind my business .. i actually want you to make me regret this please... huhahahah! low life feeling fly!

since you asked some questions.. leme answer.
I quoted your post asking what an ideal woman is..is that too much too ask?
now I'm a b.itch your mum really failed at parenting.. Shame on her!

quivah:



now its just getting funny!
@emboldened .. lmao! errm dude, is there anyone who really like you in the real world?! your insecurity is enough to make the devil hate you
and errm so e fit pain you if another person make a comment about your mum but you dey feel fly insulting other people's parents.. hahaha!!

no, I won't mind my business .. i actually want you to make me regret this please... huhahahah! low life feeling fly!

since you asked some questions.. leme answer.
I quoted your post asking what an ideal woman is..is that too much too ask?
now I'm a b.itch your mum really failed at parenting.. Shame on her!

unfortunately you are the one that has a low life and every one is running away from you because of your filthy life even your family members avoid you. Hence, you want me to keep you busy on nairaland. Ndo oh! I furu ohia. Loser!

The man should fast and pray. Before he knows it like a speed of light, she will change.

Pls after driving u, try and drive her too.

On another news...
I keep asking this cogent question...Is it that there is no better person than Buhari in APC? May God help Nigeria as a nation. #APC awakening #Bunchofcriminals

Sophyrocks:
The man should fast and pray. Before he knows it like a speed of light, she will change.

like APC

Get the keys from her!

Op you can deduce from this thread that when your wife becomes more educated and trendy, she may also tend to speak like a ***** in the name of giving an opinion.

@op, can u try and take her out (surprise outing) and make her shop for nice wears? Or if u know her size, u could buy these things for her and in a loving way, whenever u guys want to go out together, ask that she puts on a particular dress(like name the colour, bla bla) . don't forget to tell her how good she looks in them.

U could set her up in a business and have her go for part time degree .

Op, if you are all about the trends and such why don't you just personally take her out for hair, nails and clothes shopping. Buy her what you think you want to see her in. There are so many ways you could convince her without the need for hostility or giving her an ultimatum like someone suggested, "if you don't follow trend, I won't talk to you." The woman is not a child and should be treated like an adult. You can suggest to her to do part-time for her BSc and have a business if she can handle it but sometimes, some people are just good at certain things and you cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do. If she is business orientated, let her follow her dreams and if she fails, you can always say, "I told you so."

If I were you, I did buy her the stuff, get her hair done, makeup and always compliment her, telling her how it makes her look sexy etc etc. Better still you could constantly compliment her when she is in her iro and buba and go on on with a "but, it would be nice, this and that." Wean her off the village girl things slowly.


Personally, I don't get what is wrong with iro and buba, there are so many trendy styles you can suggest for her to sew them in if that is what she prefers to western style and fabric.

Anyways, what do I know.

Zikkie:
@op, can u try and take her out (surprise outing) and make her shop for nice wears? Or if u know her size, u could buy these things for her and in a loving way, whenever u guys want to go out together, ask that she puts on a particular dress(like name the colour, bla bla) . don't forget to tell her how good she looks in them.

U could set her up in a business and have her go for part time degree .

Lol, I honestly did not realise we typed the same thing. Didn't even see it.

My husband just bought me loads of new clothes, should I be worried?

ucheheart:
miss perfect, to hell with taste. If she dresses fine and start going out and other men start staring at her, the same husband will complain that she is cheating on him. What can you ever do to pls human beings? You are not a man so what do you know abt keeping a wife at home?

erm I get your point but I believe a woman knows more about keeping a wife at home than anyone else, she as the woman becomes a wife therefore, she is the only person inside her head that knows what exactly will keep her at home instead of roaming the streets. The man can only guess.... just saying

It's like asking what does she know about cramps.

Unless, of course you meant husband then only God can answer that question.

kandiikane:


Lol, I honestly did not realise we typed the same thing. Didn't even see it.

Hahahahaaa! That's true o! Just that yours is more elaborate than mine.
@op, pls u don't have a problem. It is well with your home

Doesn't make any sense to me. The husband was well aware of all the things he complained about. He agreed when she said she wanted to do business. All of a sudden, he wants her to get a BA. He met her when she wasn't "trendy" but married her like that. Now, she is not good enough to be by his side.


Don't go into a marriage thinking you'll change your spouse. What you see now is what you'll get after. It is possible for people to change etc but don't bank on it.

i see serious trouble ahead if nothing changes, and by this I mean the woman at least listening to her husband.
it is easy to blame the OP for demanding that his wife "upgrades" herself, but the OP should be commended for trying to inspire his wife to upgrade.
yes, he married her in her "modesty", but i can bet my 2 cents that he expected some "growing up changes" in her later. nothing in life is static. in fact the whole universe is moving! where i pity the OP most is that his wife refuses to even go back to school to obtain an undergrad degree. if she were smart, she would have obtained that degree and later start a business. most graduates these days end up in business anyway.
so why is she so stiff?
is she afraid that she fail in academics and not get the degree?
in that case she should explain her fears humbly to her husband, and if he loves her enough he will waive it for her and move on.
i guess my point is that the man seems to be more open to communicating his expectations of his wife than the wife is willing to even contemplate.
with all these female wolves seeking husbands to snatch, the woman may wake up divorced one of these days!
one of the most important lessons to keep in mind for a successful marriage is to always find out what your spouse is passionate about and to do it! the woman seems to merely want to do business, while the man seems passionate about her going back to school (i guess hopefully for her to learn modern "swag" ). still my 2 cents. if she cannot do school, she should at least do personal makeover. this is 21st century!

the woman may wake up one of these days to see that her husband has married a lawyer.