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Despair - Poems For Review - Nairaland

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Despair by Nobody: 7:22am On Mar 19, 2015

I woke up from my slumber
To the harsh hand of hunger
I couldn't help but ponder
Why life is really an asunder
I just hope God will perform wonder

Clutching my stomach in pain
I couldn't even make use of my brain
I don't know if I was still sane
If only God could make food rain
Heaven and Earth must attest to my vain
And query God for making me lame

My eyes had grown tired of shedding tears
I wish I could talk my mouth
I wish I could hear with my ears
I wish I could express my anger and let out a shout
And get a notion from the look in humans eyes
I want to be referred to as human.





I need your critics.....

Cc. Ishilove, humbledbygrace


Laykorn, jigsawkillah, larrysun, theorbiters, darkrebel666, dre11, joseph1832, mizmycoli, mznelly, dimple192

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:05am On Mar 19, 2015
Um......you didn't even title the poem.

The poem is centered on......hunger?

1 Like

Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:25am On Mar 19, 2015
MzNelly:
Um......you didn't even title the poem.

The poem is centered on......hunger?
I'm no poet, just a writer..... can you help with the title?
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:29am On Mar 19, 2015
D1ck:
I'm no poet, just a writer..... can you help with the title?

What message are you trying to pass across?
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:33am On Mar 19, 2015
MzNelly:


What message are you trying to pass across?
The poverty life of the disabled..... partially deaf, dumb and lame peeps
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:41am On Mar 19, 2015
D1ck:
The poverty life of the disabled..... partially deaf, dumb and lame peeps

The poem doesn't hit it

Poetry ain't your forte
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:43am On Mar 19, 2015
MzNelly:


The poem doesn't hit it

Poetry ain't your forte
Well this is my second..... I'm still a learner!


So what topic do you think best fit this
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:44am On Mar 19, 2015
D1ck:
Well this is my second..... I'm still a learner!


So what topic do you think best fit this

I dunno

Confusion
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:48am On Mar 19, 2015
MzNelly:


I dunno

Confusion
I guess I'm gonna wait till the biguns arrive.....

Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:51am On Mar 19, 2015
D1ck:
I guess I'm gonna wait till the biguns arrive.....

I feel I should reveal my real identity to you, because I really hate the name you tagged me as..... shud I?
you're not gonna reveal it cos I'm gonna modify it asap

Sure; go on
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:52am On Mar 19, 2015
MzNelly:


Sure; go on
D1ck
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:53am On Mar 19, 2015
D1ck:
eli

shocked shocked shocked
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:55am On Mar 19, 2015
...
Re: Despair by Nobody: 8:59am On Mar 19, 2015
Lol
Re: Despair by JigsawKillah(m): 3:55pm On Mar 19, 2015
D1ck:

I woke up from my slumber
To the harsh hand of hunger
I couldn't help but ponder
Why life is really an asunder
I just hope God will perform wonder

Clutching my stomach in pain
I couldn't even make use of my brain
I don't know if I was still sane
If only God could make food rain
Heaven and Earth must attest to my vain
And query God for making me lame

My eyes had grown tired of shedding tears
I wish I could talk my mouth
I wish I could hear with my ears
I wish I could express my anger and let out a shout
And get a notion from the look in humans eyes
I want to be referred to as human.











Untitled! grin
it says you're hungry and helpless and angry that you're disabled
the title should be up to you, something that can connect with what you're saying
Re: Despair by Nobody: 4:27pm On Mar 19, 2015
Title: Emancipation or Emancipated
My 1p
Re: Despair by Nobody: 11:38am On Mar 20, 2015
Dimples192:
Title: Emancipation or Emancipated
My 1p
Done
Re: Despair by joseph1832(m): 1:40pm On Mar 22, 2015
D1ck:
Done
I just saw this and didn't even know I got a mention.

I read your poem and I must say you did quite well for a learner. However I don't agree with the title of the poem.

'Despair' should be the title of the poem not emancipation or emancipated!
Re: Despair by joseph1832(m): 1:44pm On Mar 22, 2015
JigsawKillah:




Untitled! grin
it says you're hungry and helpless and angry that you're disabled
the title should be up to you, something that can connect with what you're saying
Hunger, pain, anger, tears, hopelessness, anguish = Despair. That should be the title. However d1ck still hold the aces in deciding the title.
Re: Despair by Nobody: 2:01pm On Mar 22, 2015
joseph1832:
I just saw this and didn't even know I got a mention.

I read your poem and I must say you did quite well for a learner. However I don't agree with the title of the poem.

'Despair' should be the title of the poem not emancipation or emancipated!
Thanks bro, Done.

1 Like

Re: Despair by Nobody: 12:24pm On Apr 01, 2015
cool MzNelly
Re: Despair by Nobody: 1:08pm On Apr 01, 2015
D1ck:
cool MzNelly

Lol, yeah
Re: Despair by Nobody: 1:10pm On Apr 01, 2015
MzNelly:


Lol, yeah
Mirexxx is looking for my trouble on your thread, should I attend to her or ignore her.... While you're deciding could you pls drop that ERM... digits smiley
Re: Despair by mirexxx(f): 1:11pm On Apr 01, 2015
D1ck:
Mirexxx is looking for my trouble on your thread, should I attend to her or ignore her.... While you're deciding could you pls drop that ERM... digits smiley
quit mentioning me butt!hole! undecided
Re: Despair by Nobody: 1:21pm On Apr 01, 2015
D1ck:
Mirexxx is looking for my trouble on your thread, should I attend to her or ignore her.... While you're deciding could you pls drop that ERM... digits smiley

Do what you want

I no dey lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: Despair by Nobody: 1:22pm On Apr 01, 2015
D1ck edit that post
Re: Despair by Nobody: 1:28pm On Apr 01, 2015
MzNelly:
Dck

tongue tongue
gotcha8)

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