Do you find yourself frequently apologizing for everything or feeling guilty for disappointing your family and friends—even though you’re happy with your decision?

Apologizing for something you’re not sorry for only brings you down, but when you stand up for what you believe in, it empowers you and reaffirms your values.

If you 're honest with yourself, then you know that not everyone in your life will agree with you or support you on every decision you make.

But Remember:
It’s not your job to make them feel better about it by apologizing; it’s your job to make sure you’re happy with yourself.

People will judge you. It’s inevitable. But that doesn’t mean you have to apologize for making a decision they don’t agree with.

Bringing yourself down by apologizing for things you aren’t sorry for only takes away a part of who you are. It’s worth making a point to be honest with others.

Start by not apologizing for these 20 things.

1. Your Past

Do you have a friend or family member who always brings up the same instance over and over? And it’s something that happened 10 years ago? Do they still use it to manipulate you?

Your past is just that. It’s your past.

Everyone makes foolish mistakes. We were all dumb teenagers once. But as long as it’s not part of who you are today and you’ve forgiven yourself for your mistakes, it shouldn’t be on your list of things to apologize for.

2. Your Sexual Preferences

Do you like girls or guys? Both? Do you enjoy having sex with multiple partners? Do you not like sex at all?

Your sexual preferences are your sexual preferences. Just like you would never apologize for liking the color green when your best friend likes the color blue, you shouldn’t have to say sorry for what you do and don’t like when it comes to sex.

Truth be told, no one else should care. It’s frankly none of their business. But unfortunately, people will care if your preferences don’t comply with mainstream ideas. As long as all of your actions are consensual, what you do in private should stay in private, but even if it does get out, you shouldn’t have to say sorry.

3. Standing Up for What You Believe In

Have people ever made you feel guilty for standing up for your values and beliefs? Unfortunately, our parents, friends, and even strangers are good at doing that if our beliefs don’t coincide with theirs.

But instead of taking a step back and apologizing for standing up for yourself, take this as an opportunity to stand up for yourself once again.

This type of assertiveness can empower you and boost your confidence.

4. Giving Your Honest Opinion

Let’s say your friend asks if her hair looks bad, insisting that you tell her what you honestly think. You say, yes, it does look bad. Only she gets mad and blows up in your face, saying that you’ve hurt her feelings.

Sound familiar?

Your first instinct is to probably console her, say you’re sorry, and tell her that it doesn’t look that bad. But you shouldn’t have to do that, especially when she has asked you to be honest.

Honesty has been linked to better health, says the American Psychological Association. You shouldn’t have to take back your opinions, nor should you apologize for them. It’s only in the best interest of your well-being.

5. Expressing Your Emotions

Has anyone called you a “baby” for crying or a crazy person for expressing your joy and excitement? Then what do you do? Apologize for sharing?

The situation is all too familiar.

But expressing your emotions is a healthy behavior, and it’s not something you should practice concealing. In fact, expressing your emotions—even in just a journal—has been shown to make you happier since it helps you cope with life better.

6. Deleting Friends on Facebook

Let’s be honest: Not all your Facebook friends are your true friends. Deleting people who harass you, are gossips, or are just plain annoying is an act for your own well-being.

Do you have to justify this action? No. Do you have to apologize for it? Definitely not.

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7. Spending Time with People Who Make You Happy

Do you have friends—or perhaps parents—who hate the people you hang out with? They don’t just tease you for your choice in friends or a significant other. They actually belittle you about it.

But it’s not their choice.

Does this person make you happy? Do you enjoy being around him or her?

You should never have to apologize for doing something that makes you happy, including hanging out with someone others might not approve of.

8. Forgiving Someone

Have you ever forgiven someone only for your friends to wonder why you did so? They still wanted to kick the perpetrator’s butt while you were content with letting the situation go.

Forgiveness is another one of those things that can improve your mental well-being, so it’s not worth apologizing for forgiving someone.

9. Being YOU

Are you kind of weird? Sometimes nerdy? Perhaps a bit too opinionated?

And do you like yourself for it?

Then that’s the only justification you need to continue being who you are. If other people can’t handle it, that’s their problem. You shouldn’t say sorry for preferences or actions that define who you are as a person—as long as you know you like that person.

10. Following Your Dreams

This is sadly one thing too many people apologize for. Do you dream about writing a best-seller? What about becoming a famous dancer? Or maybe you dream simply of having kids someday.

All of these dreams take preparation, but unfortunately no matter what dream you pursue, you’ll get scrutinized by someone.

Have you heard your parents criticize your career choice? Do your friends laugh at your efforts to pursue your talents?

Not once should the words “I’m sorry” come out of your lips. Instead, you should be saying, “I’m proud of myself for following my dreams.”

11. Converting to a New Faith

Changing religions can be a hugely stressful situation. You’re already battling the internal fight between which faith is right and wrong. On top of that, your family members, friends, and even members of your church are trying to talk you out of it.

You shouldn’t have to apologize for leaving the church. Standing up for your new beliefs while respecting the members of your old church can help you determine if you’re headed in the right direction. If you still feel good about it, then you know you’re making the right choice.

12. Being Sick

Whether you have a mild flu, cancer, or depression, never apologize for being sick. It’s not something you can control. You may not like the cards fate dealt you, but that doesn’t mean you have anything to apologize for.

Continue doing what you can to get better, and when you encounter someone who’s fishing for an apology, don’t say you’re sorry; help them understand what you’re going through instead.

13. Leaving Someone When it’s For Your Own Good

Have you ever ditched a bad friend or left an abusive relationship? The person you left might criticize you, or your family and friends might say you were stupid for leaving.

Don’t say you’re sorry. It was for you own good, and there’s no reason to be sorry about that.

14. Your Income

Do people make fun of your low income? Even if you’re not pleased with your income, there is no reason to apologize. You work hard for your money, and you put a lot of effort into getting to where you are. Don’t let an apology about your income make you feel bad about where you’ve been and are going with your career.

On the other end of the spectrum, people might tease you for your high-paying job. There’s no reason to be sorry for being successful.

15. Not Knowing the Answer

Admitting that you don’t know the answer to something is empowering. It shows that you’re willing to learn, are open-minded, and are humble. Why apologize for that?

Instead of apologizing, treat the situation as an opportunity to learn.

16. Needing Some Time Alone

We all need some alone time. Unfortunately, most of us don’t get that alone time between screaming children and demanding bosses. If you need to take just 30 minutes for a bubble bath or even a week-long getaway, don’t let yourself feel guilty about it. Not only do you deserve it, but you need alone time every now and then to sort through your thoughts and to reduce stress.

17. Getting Something off Your Chest

We tend to carry thoughts around with us when we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings or start drama. Sometimes, however, certain things really need to be said, especially when the weight of hanging onto them is only stressing you to the max.

Say what you need to say, but don’t apologize for being honest and open to a healthy conversation.

18. Being Successful

It’s a sad truth that people can make us feel bad about our successes no matter how big or small. You might hear remarks like, “You could have done better,” even from the people closest to you.

Here’s the truth: a success is a success no matter how small, whether it’s hitting your goal weight or graduating from a doctorate program. Let these successes empower you, and never once feel sorry about them.

19. Asking for Help

For some reason, we tend to think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. It isn’t. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. It shows that you’re honestly willing to learn and to make a change.

Whether you’re looking for a tutor to help you understand your homework or you’re seeking a counselor to help you work through your depression, you should feel good about taking this step since it can build you into a better person.

20. Anything You Gave Your All To, Even if it Didn’t Work Out

If you’re passionate about anything, then you’ve likely put your all into something, whether it was a relationship or a career choice

Unfortunately, giving it all you’ve got doesn’t always turn out the way you planned. Your career may come to an early halt, or your relationship my not work out. As long as you did what you could to make it work, you shouldn’t apologize for the journey.


What things do you apologize for when you’re not actually sorry? please Share your ideas....

Femmysin.

Nice post even thought i did not read.

Just a "sorry" can give us peace in this world. Learn to say "am sorry" even if ua right to give peace a chance!!

Okay.

Nice write up. Will comment when I see it on front page.

Over confidence given..nice one.

for falling asleep. puuuliiiizzz, nature called and you answered, why be sorry about that

4,5,9 and 10 on point. I live my life with no reserved apology or allegiance to anyone!

Kpom

Passing by

Doing my things my own way...... Brb.

are you serious"forgiving someone"

Once when I was a teenager, I did something wrong. Fine, I did something wrong I admit but even after apologising to my whole family one of them still have that grudge and is always quick to refer to that past, but I'm like 'anybody can go to hell if you can't just forget the past'

I'm not sorry I didn't finish reading it. Damn too long.

Number 20...

i hate it....... i hate saying sorry, i dont know why! anything wrong with me? NO.

I agree with all, except the Sex part.

nice writeup

....tho i only read the mainpoints.

"Blessed are the peace makers, for they shall be called Sons of God"
Apologizing for anything, whether right or wrong, does not make u less a man, rather, it keeps you healthy. Soft word melts the bone.

i love this write-up.

so true, no reason to be fake.

just be yourself...................the world will be a better place for being yourself!

This is one of the best posts i have come across in nairaland.

There is so much negativity in this forum and this post is just a breath of fresh air. It is positive and accepting. It tells you to love yourself, live with no regrets and be happy.


Good job OP! More of this

for sharing ur honest opinion on nairaland.. even if nairalanders bash you frm your ansestors to your future generation ; D dnt apologize fr dat except you insulted sum1in d process ofcos.. Nice

HrtBrkSteve:
Just a "sorry" can give us peace in this world. Learn to say "am sorry" even if ua right to give peace a chance!!

Nope. Why apologize for being successful or for loving someone , or for choosing a different religion.? If you have a problems with my decisions, you can tell me but i dont have to apologize for it.

It is completely different from stepping on someone's toes and not saying sorry. Maybe you should re-read the post.

Never apologize for being dump. Thank me later

tolu4you:
i hate it....... i hate saying sorry, i dont know why! anything wrong with me? NO.

its not only u bro. Even me i hate to say sorry especially to my dad. But i may later realise that i fvcked up but to apologise na war. But that doesn't apply when it has to do with my career oo or my girl frnd. I don't know why its always my parents i feel shy to apologise at.

In case

No apology for being a programer

No apologies for not pickin ur calls, for not returnin ur calls, for not replyn ur texts, for not gvn a damn, for flirting, for being too handsome dat all d girls r tripn nd ur feelin jealous dat am nad noticin u. Loool.

..

Nice write up

Nice thread op. Win win or No deal. Am sorry, please these wordz are important.