Alhaji Lai Muhammed, National Publicity
Secretary of the All Progressives Congress
(APC), got married to Alhaja Kudirat Adeoti
Muhammed some 35 years ago. Blessed with
four children and several grandchildren, the
couple shared their marital journey so far
with Kazeem Akintunde.
Where was the meeting point when the love
affair began?
We actually met during preparation towards
FESTAC 77. I was doing my Youth Service
with the organisers of FESTAC 77 and we
needed some School certificate holders as
protocol officers to work temporarily with us.
She was among those selected and from
there we started our relationship.
Was it love at first sight?
Alhaji Muhammed: For me yes. I liked her
immediately I set my eyes on her.
Madam: For me, I don’t think I had any
intention of looking for a boyfriend then but
along the line, we developed interest in each
other. I developed interest along the line
Was there any opposition then among your
parents?
Madam: From my own parents yes. I meant
so much to my mother and she wanted me
to marry an elderly person who will be able to
take good care of me. But fortunately, he
proved them wrong. He was able to take
good care of me when they were alive and
they were impressed.
When did you eventually became husband
and wife?
We got married in 1979. We met in 1976,
started working together in 1977 and we got
married in 1979 after about three years of
courtship.
How has it been since then?
Alhaji Muhammed. Let me first of all correct
the impression of the opposition from her
family. My father-in-law, from the day I met
him, gave me the go ahead; why, because
my first degree was in French and my father
in law spoke German and French fluently,
making it easy for me to buy him over, so to
say. The opposition like she said was from
her mother. Well, it was partly due to what
she said, we were very young but my late
mother-in-law also did not take kindly to her
daughter getting married to an Ara-Oke
(someone from the hinterland) but gradually,
my wife did most of the convincing and I am
happy that even though she did not stay with
us for a long period after we got married (she
died four years after),during the period that
she was still alive, after she made up her
mind for us to get married, my mother-in-
law became my pillar of support. I still
remember few years after we got married,
we wanted to buy a new car-that should be
around 1980/81; my wife and I were able to
put together about N4, 000 but the vehicle
cost about N6, 000. We went straight to my
mother-in-law and she gave us the balance.
I don’t even think we paid her back before
she died.
The car was a brand new 504 with Air-
condition. She used to cook for us when my
wife was working and she used to work late
and so my mother-in-law would cook for us.
There was a day my sister-in-law wanted to
take part of the stew; she insisted that the
stew was for Layi and that she could not
take from it. My father-in-law on the other
hand hit it off with me from day one. We have
been married for 35 years and it has been
beautiful. I have never regretted marrying
her and I will give you reasons. In 1982 I
came home one day and I told her that I
would be enrolling for a degree programme in
law; I told her that she should take good care
of the home front as I would be combining
my work with my studies and she
discharged the task creditably. Another time
when I was called to the bar and was still
new where I was working, I must have been
too outspoken and I felt the honourable thing
was to resign. I got home and told her that I
wanted to resign. I did not have any savings
then but told her that I would provide the
money for accommodation but that she
should not ask me for house allowance or
Children’s School fees until I had established
my own chamber. I actually asked her to give
me one year and it is to her credit that I
never knew how we ate throughout that
period. I thank God that within six months, I
was able to redeem what she had spent in
taking care of the home.
Furthermore, when I went into politics, I
started with Yomi Edu. We lost the primaries
before moving to AD and even at that she
gave her blessing. My wife has been very
supportive; we have gone through a lot
together. We have climbed to the top together
and also crashed together. When I was the
chief of staff in Lagos State, I was arguably
one of the most powerful people in the
cabinet and when I went to Kwara State to
run for governorship, she left everything to
be with me for a whole year during the
campaign. We lost the election. It was quite
tough, but she was there for me.
What was it like when you took her home to
your parents for the first time?
My parents were warm to her; they are very
broad-minded.
When the relationship was still very young,
what are those things you wanted to change
about your husband then?
Madam: He used to smoke and I told him I
don’t like it; he said that I should give him
some time and that he would eventually drop
the habit. At times he won’t smoke in my
presence but I could perceive the odour that
he was still smoking but with time, he was
able to drop the habit.
Was there any period when you caught him
with another lady?
No, he has been very faithful to me
Alhaji, was there anything you wanted to
change about your wife then?
There was nothing I wanted to change about
her. Agreed, there is no way a woman won’t
be a woman but when you have a wife who
is supportive, hardworking and always there
for you, what else can I ask for? One area
we do disagree is the fact that my wife wants
us to put money aside for the rainy day while
I want us to spend it, believing that tomorrow
will take care of itself. In retrospect, I think
she has been right and I have been wrong. I
don’t think I can marry any other person in
my life. infact I would gladly marry my wife
all over again. I have been in public life since
when I was chief of staff, we hardly spent
more than three hours together in a day but
my children were just growing up then.
When you have a wife who is the one that
remembers the birthday of the kids and
school visiting days, you will regard yourself
as been lucky. She has also been able to pull
my extended family together. They can
easily reach her faster than me. Many even
abandoned me by going directly to her
because they believed they will get results
faster than coming through me, and she will
tell me my children cannot be doing well and
those of my siblings are not; there would be
no peace, there won’t be any love. It is
something that gives me a lot of joy.
Marriage from where I come from is not just
between two people or two families, it is
between clans.
How many kids do you have and did you plan
to have that number of children?
Madam: we have four and they all came as
planned.
Most marriages don’t last these days
because women don’t want to submit
themselves to their husbands again. What
would be your advice to those ladies?
To the best of my knowledge one has to be
very close to his or her God, to the extent
that one must have a one on one relationship
with God; then women should be able to
persevere and have enough patience in their
marital life. I believe a woman should get
something doing. I don’t believe in full-time
house wife.
Do you have a pet name for your husband?
Yes I use his middle name
And what is his middle name?
Atanda
What about you Alhaji?
I call her mummy. (Madam chips in) I call
him daddy and he calls me mummy but when
I need anything from him, I call him Atanda
with a little bit of his Oriki.
Alhaji, one thing about my wife that I like is
that she is very prayerful. While I am snoring
in bed, she is always praying. Also, since we
got married, we have had our ups and downs
but we have never contemplated been apart
for one day or that we would fight and we
would now spend a day away from each
other. One thing she doesn’t like is that my
children and I conspire a lot. We started
doing that when she turned 50. All our
children are outside the country and I
decided that the best way to surprise her
was to have all the kids at home for her
birthday without her knowledge. I called all
the kids to be at home for her birthday but
that she should not be aware. Since she was
in the habit of calling them every day, it was
decided that the kids should hide their
caller’s identity so that she won’t know
where they are calling from and that they
must be the first to call her every day in the
morning. On the day of the party, I brought
the children in and when it was time to cut
the birthday cake I asked her to make a
wish. What would you wish for as you turn 50
and she answered and said that “I would be
happy if my children are with me” and I
asked her to close her eyes and that by the
time she opens them she would see her
children. She did and I asked the kids to
come in. She almost fainted. She was very
happy but surprised saying ‘how could you
do this to me?’
Alhaja, Do you still cook for your husband?
He is not always at home, but whenever he
is, I cook for him.
He is on a special diet and I do prepare it.
Alhaji, when was the last time you took your
wife out?
That must have been a long time ago. Ok, but
we still went out yesterday now.
Not to party just the two of you going out to
relax and have fun?
That would be about 30 years ago. Up till
1997 we usually travelled out for vacation
but after 1997, the next time was 2007. I
think it is something you should understand
now. After 1997, I took up the chief of staff
appointment, and then we went to Kwara for
my gubernatorial campaign and now fully the
job of spokesperson for the party. You know
at times, I used to wake up thinking that
where was I? Am I in Lagos, Abuja or where?
I must say though, that she has been there
for me. I would have loved to spend more
quality time with her but even when I needed
her, she would be outside the country to
spend some time



http://leadership.ng/features/418861/i-would-marry-my-wife-all-over-again-lai-muhammed

Lie.....kai!...

Does his lie to his wife, children and grand children as he does to Nigerians? . His name Lai (Lie) is affecting him...is a pity