Most people love and appreciate their parents.
We don't doubt that. The problem is, parents
can't tell this unless you show it by the way you
treat them. Sometimes adult children can bring
heartache to their parents without realizing what
they're doing. We've boiled it down to five main
ways this happens. If you are a parent of adult
children, you may recognize some of these. If
you're the adult child, you may be in for an
awakening. As parents age, their physical needs
may change but their need for your love never
does. Check to see if you're doing any of these.
1. You don't call them much
Time just flits by, and you realize it's been a
month since you last called your parents to
check on them or to share what's happening in
your life. You may be thinking, well, they can call
me anytime they want. There's no question;
parents need to call their children, as well.
Here's the thing, they don't know your schedule,
and they don't want to interrupt you at the
wrong time. Or they don't want to trouble you
with their problems. And yet, they want you to
care. You need to take the initiative and call
them, at least some of the time. Even just a
short call to see how they are feeling. Ask them
what they did that day then share what you are
doing. Be sure to include some good news. Too
often, the only news shared is the bad. Being in
on at least part of your life will bring them more
happiness than you can imagine. If they lay on a
lot of unwanted advice, just say, "Thanks, Dad, I
appreciate your concern. I was just thinking
about you and wanted to know how you're
doing." Don't forget to say, "I love you." That's
music to their hearts.
2. You ask them for money
Some kids only call when they need money.
Don't do that. In fact, don't ask them for money
at all. You're an adult and capable of providing
for yourself and family. Your parents have
worked hard for what they have, and they
deserve to keep it for their needs. As their lives
wind down they have no idea what expenses lie
ahead. They need that retirement nest egg for
the unknown. It's comforting to them to have
that security. We know some children who've
bled their parents dry, and then when the day
came and the parents needed the money to live
on it was gone. That's not fair. Don't ask your
parents for money. If you owe them for some
you've already "borrowed," pay it back as soon
as you can. Lovingly help them protect what's
theirs. They need to be able to enjoy it in their
later years.
3. You forget their birthdays
Parents love to be remembered on their special
day. It doesn't have to be a fancy celebration,
just a remembrance. You know how you feel
when you receive a gift from them. They aren't
much different. They like it, too. Find out the
things they enjoy. A young couple we know gives
their parents a gift card to their favorite
restaurant, and they thoroughly enjoy it. If you
don't have the money for a gift, you surely have
the money for a card. Receiving a card in the
mail from an out-of-town child brightens any
parent's day. A phone call is great, too. If you
live nearby, drop by with a hug and good wishes.
Let them know you're thinking of them, and wish
them a happy birthday. You might even add, "I'm
sure glad you were born. I love you, Mom." Some
children invite the family over to celebrate a
special birthday. Turning 70 is a lot more fun
when you're surrounded by those you love.
4. You don't offer them your help
You may be thinking, hey, I told Dad to let me
know if there's anything I can do for him, but he
hasn't told me of anything. He's probably
hesitating because he thinks you're too busy, or
he's afraid you didn't really mean it. How about
suggesting something to him? Look around and
see the needs. Older people are advised to stay
off ladders because their balance is impaired,
and it's too risky. How about offering to come
over, climb that ladder and clean out their rain
gutters. A friend's son recently did that for his
parents, and they were extremely grateful for the
help. A little help from you will go a long way in
helping your parents feel loved.
5. You don't include them in your family
events
They don't need to be included in everything but
for the main events, invite them. They want to
be part of special occasions, such as holiday
dinners, a baptism, a concert your child is in,
weddings or a vacation. Let them enjoy being
with you and your family when it fits. Sometimes
just an invitation to Sunday dinner at your house
will brighten their day. If they invite you and your
family over for dinner, accept the invitation and
show up.
Is this what you want?
Look at how you are treating your parents and
ask yourself if this is the way you want your
children to treat you when they're grown. They
are learning how by watching the way you treat
your parents. It's a lesson they won't forget. If
you're not measuring up, it's not too late. You
can make a change this very day. Begin by
picking up the phone and calling your parents
right now.

OP kindly edit your write up

Too clustered