This might sound obscene to some people, as i do not intend to hurt anyone feelings but i seriously need help. I dont know if i can continue this or not. But i would be short and straight, and i hope you guys can help me. Please

-
I married my wife 2 years ago and we were very young. Our parents kind of forced us into it. My dad said i must marry her so that he can cement his friendship and contract with her father. Her own Mum told her she must marry me so that the family business would continue and the name stands since its a joint venture. So, technically, our parents used us both for business! I was only 23 she was just 19 approaching 20. She was 20 the Sunday after our wedding. That is not really the problem here, the problem is I enjoy seeing my wife in pain! It turns me on when she cries or she is sad. It makes me feel closer to her.

And as a result of this, Sometimes i deliberately do things to hurt her feelings. I scold her at every opportunity! I pick a fault in her every action. I complain about everything. I even condemn whatever she does just so she can feel bad and possibly cry. That is my intention. It has become like a drug and i'm an addict. I cannot stay without it.

In fact, sex is not what i want even when we have sex i am aggressive and mean so she can feel excessive pain. It suppose to bother me but it doesn't, it makes me feel happy.

Long story short, I think i am not normal or maybe its a fetish i don;t know but whatever this is, my wife is at the receiving end of it and she is receiving the bad side. Please mature persons, i need your advice. Divorce is impossible, our parents would disown us. so that is why she is still around and i am not surprised she did not file for divorce or report my wicked actions. She is just "Swallowing It" because her father might just disown her or cut her off from his expenses. And same applies to me, i am starting to love her and i dont want to keep on hurting her and i was thinking of ending the marriage so she finds someone better but my mum said she must not hear it and i know my dad wont find it funny. So its impossible to separate from each other and its somehow impossible for the pain she is going through to stop because I am the pain, and i want to fix this.

Thank You all.

You actually need help.

Hmmm i have read the whole stuff and OP, i think i can reproduce what you are going through. Normally i would make a trash comment and port to the next thread but from what you wrote, i can see some sincerity and willingness to solve the issue. So i would help you

First, Your wife! She is young(She is 22 now) , her emotions are heightened up and this is a big deal for her considering where she is coming from(Her Family). I presume she does everything you want, when you misbehave she would still be the one to apologize and i can also sense that she is in love with you. Trust me, she is a girl, her father is not a problem! Do you think she does not have another bank account where the boys are sending her money? (Another set of "toasters", so if she wants out, she would get out! I have dealt with cases like this during my days. She loves you man, and you are taking advantage of it because it turns you on.. So follow these steps and see how it turns out:

- Communicate with her: Confess your crimes and tell her how it turns you on. Confess you do it intentionally. And observe her response(Dont be surprised she knows already) If you dont fix it, in the future, she might be using the hurt/pain to get things from you because "It brings you closer to her"
- Consult a marriage Counselor or Therapist: You need some counseling! You need to know that she is your wife and not an object of pleasure!
- Start feeling her pain: Make her pain your pain! When you start feeling her pain, you wont be the pain anymore.
- Find another way to please yourself: Yup, it can be a video game(You are a young dude), poker, or a friday night out with your wife every week.
- Make her the boss when it comes to sex: You do it her way! Not your way! At least for now *wink*
- Find out what turns her on: Its time she is the one turning on not you! You have had enough. Because all that is turning on in her is her pain.
- Be closer: Watch movies together, go on weekend time out, attend church programs together.. make her feel loved.

So Op, when you have tried it for about 3 - 6 months you would re-wire out of the idea that you should hurt her first.

Hope i helped

You can update me on the situation and i would be happy to help. Send me a mail, i will give you a call!
hmmm

Since you know where your problem lies, you can change yourself. From your writeup your an educated person else I would have thought otherwise. So help yourself and don't wait for people's opinions.

Wow. Speechless.

Spiritual problem.... Read Bible... Pray to oluwa to cast away that spirit in you.



Discuss this with your wife too

I cant read thiz but frm d subject, i think u shud b bundled to yaba left

OP you're completely normal.. But you really need to put your emotions in-check for the sake of humanity!

I had an ex who enjoyed forceful sex, she enjoyed it so much that she always asks me to act like I wanna rape her! LOL!! Anyway, she found Jesus so she's cool now... Just put your feelings in check bro.
Even if banana is your fav fruit, you don't always have to eat it.

Op this is romance section,most of the peeps here are not married,family section would av been better,all you will see here are funny comments.




That awkward moment when someone who hasnt been in a situation in this case married start giving advice to a married man on how to solve his marital issues.



Op you need to see a psychologist.

thats absurd




why not visit Ifa for cleansing??

what the fvck!

Ur a sadist, OP, the pain of others are ur pleasure...

No sorries,U r very stupid,
i dnt knw hw old u r ryt nw bt hw long will u remain a boy?wen will u man up n face ur worse fears?
I pity d poor lady,
its obvious this is d result of parents forcing their children into marriage wen dey r nt mentally ready and above all they dont luv each other.
Too bad.

Daily12:
This might sound obscene to some people, as i do not intend to hurt anyone feelings but i seriously need help. I dont know if i can continue this or not. But i would be short and straight, and i hope you guys can help me. Please

-
I married my wife 2 years ago and we were very young. Our parents kind of forced us into it. My dad said i must marry her so that he can cement his friendship and contract with her father. Her own Mum told her she must marry me so that the family business would continue and the name stands since its a joint venture. So, technically, our parents used us both for business! I was only 23 she was just 19 approaching 20. She was 20 the Sunday after our wedding. That is not really the problem here, the problem is I enjoy seeing my wife in pain! It turns me on when she cries or she is sad. It makes me feel closer to her.

And as a result of this, Sometimes i deliberately do things to hurt her feelings. I scold her at every opportunity! I pick a fault in her every action. I complain about everything. I even condemn whatever she does just so she can feel bad and possibly cry. That is my intention. It has become like a drug and i'm an addict. I cannot stay without it.

In fact, sex is not what i want even when we have sex i am aggressive and mean so she can feel excessive pain. It suppose to bother me but it doesn't, it makes me feel happy.

Long story short, I think i am not normal or maybe its a fetish i don;t know but whatever this is, my wife is at the receiving end of it and she is receiving the bad side. Please mature persons, i need your advice. Divorce is impossible, our parents would disown us. so that is why she is still around and i am not surprised she did not file for divorce or report my wicked actions. She is just "Swallowing It" because her father might just disown her or cut her off from his expenses. And same applies to me, i am starting to love her and i dont want to keep on hurting her and i was thinking of ending the marriage so she finds someone better but my mum said she must not hear it and i know my dad wont find it funny. So its impossible to separate from each other and its somehow impossible for the pain she is going through to stop because I am the pain, and i want to fix this.

Thank You all.

Do you get turned on just seeing your wife in pain, or you are also turned on when you see other women get hurt sad, or in pain?

KashyBaby:
Ur a sadist, OP, the pain of others are ur pleasure...

Its not the pain of others. Its only her own

B D S M.....its fetish! You need to consult a sex therapist. Some people are like that. I've met someone who gets turn on by having his ass whipped,bitten...anything painful sha before he can have an erection. Same with some girls.

Decker:


Do you get turned on just seeing your wife in pain, or you are also turned on when you see other women get hurt sad, or in pain?

Just her but i smile when i see young women in pain

You are sadistic...

The good news is...you can find help!!!

u need Jesus

Daily12:


Just her but i smile when i see young women in pain

You smile....hmmm.
People only smile at things they are excited about or things they are happy seeing. Do you feel excited when you see women get hurt? Does a part of you enjoy it? Is it also sexual? Be sincere to yourself.

Did you feel this way prior to marrying your wife or was it after getting married to her that you started feeling this way?

Can you remember what it was that triggered this desire to see your wife get hurt, this sexual excitement from seeing her in pain? When did all this start?

Moment kids are getting married..

This reminds me of fifty shades of Grey


Nigerians will say tz spiritual, tz not. He is d type that's into BD$M (bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism), all those involved in it get aroused by inflicting pain on their partners.

Jolllyjoy:
Op this is romance section,most of the peeps here are not married,family section would av been better,all you will see here are funny comments.




That awkward moment when someone who hasnt been in a situation in this case married start giving advice to a married man on how to solve his marital issues.



Op you need to see a psychologist.

mtcheew

funny Love Story....




psycho.............

Na so one yeye man talk say he purposely beat his wife so she could cry resting her head on his chest... How on earth is that romantic


End time Men!

sadist things

Daily12:
This might sound obscene to some people, as i do not intend to hurt anyone feelings but i seriously need help. I dont know if i can continue this or not. But i would be short and straight, and i hope you guys can help me. Please

-
I married my wife 2 years ago and we were very young. Our parents kind of forced us into it. My dad said i must marry her so that he can cement his friendship and contract with her father. Her own Mum told her she must marry me so that the family business would continue and the name stands since its a joint venture. So, technically, our parents used us both for business! I was only 23 she was just 19 approaching 20. She was 20 the Sunday after our wedding. That is not really the problem here, the problem is I enjoy seeing my wife in pain! It turns me on when she cries or she is sad. It makes me feel closer to her.

And as a result of this, Sometimes i deliberately do things to hurt her feelings. I scold her at every opportunity! I pick a fault in her every action. I complain about everything. I even condemn whatever she does just so she can feel bad and possibly cry. That is my intention. It has become like a drug and i'm an addict. I cannot stay without it.

In fact, sex is not what i want even when we have sex i am aggressive and mean so she can feel excessive pain. It suppose to bother me but it doesn't, it makes me feel happy.

Long story short, I think i am not normal or maybe its a fetish i don;t know but whatever this is, my wife is at the receiving end of it and she is receiving the bad side. Please mature persons, i need your advice. Divorce is impossible, our parents would disown us. so that is why she is still around and i am not surprised she did not file for divorce or report my wicked actions. She is just "Swallowing It" because her father might just disown her or cut her off from his expenses. And same applies to me, i am starting to love her and i dont want to keep on hurting her and i was thinking of ending the marriage so she finds someone better but my mum said she must not hear it and i know my dad wont find it funny. So its impossible to separate from each other and its somehow impossible for the pain she is going through to stop because I am the pain, and i want to fix this.

Thank You all.

Since you know what you are doing is inhuman but you keep on doing it.... I will call you wicked and heartless. You don't need a psychologist.... Just change for better!

Decker:


You smile....hmmm.
People only smile at things they are excited about or things they are happy seeing. Do you feel excited when you see women get hurt? Does a part of you enjoy it? Is it also sexual? Be sincere to yourself.

Did you feel this way prior to marrying your wife or was it after getting married to her that you started feeling this way?

Can you remember what it was that triggered this desire to see your wife get hurt, this sexual excitement from seeing her in pain? When did all this start?

Actually it's my wife and that is what gives me concern not other women. And I did not feel this way prior to the marriage. I have worked with women I did not feel this way.

I don't get excited seeing other women hurt but I'm happy and pleased seeing my wife hurt.