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God And Jesus Didn't Forbid Slavery In The Bible. But Why? / 5 Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) / I Don't Believe In The Bible But I Believe In God Does That Make Me Less A Xiatn (2) (3) (4)

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Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by frankg1(m): 10:38am On Apr 24, 2015
1. Sodom And Gomorrah Getting
Destroyed For Homosexuality

If you ask someone to point out a part of the
Bible where God specifically condemns
homosexuality, they're likely to refer you to
Genesis 19, the story of Sodom and
Gomorrah, the San Franciscos of the ancient
world. The popular story is that God
destroyed these two cities due to rampant
homosexuality (in fact, that's where the word
"sodomy" as we know it today comes from)
and sent two angels like a heavenly SEAL team
to extract Lot, the only non-gay citizen, and
his family before the wrath came down.
This is why, for instance, you'll hear
preachers today insist that hurricanes target
cities that hold Gay Pride parades:

The only problem is that there is absolutely
no reference in the Bible to anyone in Sodom
being gay, and even if they were, that's never
given as one of the reasons God wanted to
wipe the place out. If anything, the biggest
sin of the people of Sodom was that they
really hated foreigners.

In the story, God sends two angels in human
form into Sodom to visit Lot's house and
inform him that he might want to pack his
bags because some serious Old Testament shit
was scheduled to happen the next day. This
was because the people of Sodom were
"wicked" and their sins were "grievous" --
they didn't get more specific than that. But
when Lot's neighbors caught wind of the fact
that he had out-of-town visitors, they
gathered their torches and pitchforks and paid
him a visit, demanding to be given a chance to
give the foreigners some old-fashioned Sodom
hospitality (read: beating and raping them).

Now, it is true that the Sodom lynch mob
issues a clear rape threat against Lot's (male)
visitors. The quote from the King James Bible
is, "Bring them out unto us, that we may
know them." In Bible talk, "knowing"
someone doesn't exactly mean meeting them
over coffee. Many interpret this as evidence of
how crazy they all were about gay sex, that
the very fact that there were dudes in their
city who they hadn't sexed up yet drove them
to violent insanity.

But one rape threat against anyone doesn't
make someone gay so much as an asshole
(see: any prison) and that one line is the only
reference to any kind of sexual activity in the
whole story. When the Bible clarifies later
what Sodom had done to piss off God, it says
it was the fact that people of Sodom were
lazy, arrogant, and uncharitable. Here's the
quote from the King James version :
Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister
Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and
abundance of idleness was in her and in her
daughters, neither did she strengthen the
hand of the poor and needy. And they were
haughty, and committed abomination before
me: Therefore I took them away as I saw
good.

Whether or not he thought too many people
were doing it in the butt isn't given so much
as a footnote in the list of God's grievances.
But the only thing anyone remembers about
the sins of Sodom is that one guy who
shouted out that he wanted to pork some
angels -- to the point that this is how
"sodomy" wound up in modern language. So
here's a fun exercise: The next time your
Christian friend refuses to give money to a
poor person, say, "Hey, you just sodomized
that guy!"
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by Noloss(f): 10:44am On Apr 24, 2015
..
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by frankg1(m): 10:50am On Apr 24, 2015
P.S Ma posts are culled from cracked.com article of yesterday.

2. The Seven Deadly Sins

You probably learned the "seven deadly sins"
from the movie Se7en , even if you've never
set foot in a church. These are supposedly the
seven worst sins that you can commit:
gluttony, pride, lust, greed, wrath, sloth, and
envy. If you're flipping through your Bible
looking for them, you'd maybe expect to find
them right after the Ten Commandments (the
part where the Bible has all the rules listed,
right?). But flip all you want; they're not in
there. If somebody had just told that to Kevin
Spacey's character at the start, it would have
saved him months of work.
If you really think about it, these seven sins
seem awfully broad, almost like pretty much
any kind of wrongdoing that you can think of
falls into one category or another. And, in
fact, that's exactly the point -- the seven sins,
officially known as the cardinal sins, aren't a
list of rules taken from the Bible, like the Ten
Commandments. They were actually
formulated by the medieval Church as an easy
way to categorize all sins.

Rather than a simple how-to guide dictated by
God, they were intended more as a kind of
Cliff's Notes for the Bible to make its 10-
billion-strong list of rules a little more
digestible for the general public, almost none
of whom owned an actual copy . Remember,
the idea of everyone actually having a copy of
the Bible only goes back a few hundred years
-- before that, books were painstakingly inked
out by hand, one at a time. They had to have
a way to boil things down, verbally.

So, the cardinal sins were first dictated in the
sixth century by Pope Gregory I, whose
intention was to come up with a short list of
basic sin elements, kind of like the Periodic
Table Of Pissing Off God. Then, as with a
whole bunch of stuff you wrongly assumed
came straight out of God's holy ink well, the
seven deadly sins made the transition from
obscure mythology to Bible canon when Dante
wrote his epic poem The Divine Comedy , best
known for its most popular and most metal
chapter, "Inferno." It divides Hell into seven
circles based on which of the seven deadly
sins the damned fell afoul of. Those seven
circles, of course, are also nowhere to be
found in the Bible.

P.S My posts are culled from cracked.com article of yesterday
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by Nobody: 10:51am On Apr 24, 2015
Fairy tale!
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by imbless: 10:51am On Apr 24, 2015
Guy read and understand the bible, men of sodom wanted to fu*ck the two angels butthole , and that made lot to tell them to take two of his virgin daughters, but they refused.
Is that not homosexual act.

2 Likes

Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by frankg1(m): 10:52am On Apr 24, 2015
3. Purgatory

Purgatory is supposed to be the place that
you go to if you're not wicked enough to
deserve Hell, but also not quite holy enough
to ascend to Heaven. It's kind of like an
airport boarding lounge on your way toward
salvation -- if God's not quite confident that
you're not packing a shoe-bomb full of sin,
then you need to get a full pat-down by the
TSA of righteousness before you board that
flight to eternal happiness.
In reality, purgatory isn't something that the
Bible literally describes; it's more something
that Catholic doctrine suggests must exist in
order to solve the problem of where people
go after they die if they haven't fulfilled the
entry requirements of either Heaven or Hell.
According to official Catholic doctrine, the
existence of purgatory was decided upon
during the Council Of Florence in 1431,
because the Bible didn't specify its terms
clearly enough.

But theologians soon discovered another
problem with scripture: Where do babies go
when they die before they have a chance to
be baptized? And what happened to the
righteous who lived and died before Jesus was
born?

Regular Catholic lore suggested that they went
straight to Hell without collecting $200, but
those who figured that God wouldn't be so
cruel conceived of the concept of limbo,
which, as distinct from purgatory, was the
temporary holding cell of souls for those who
deserved to go to Heaven but either died
before Jesus' crucifixion or were too dumb
(e.g. babies) to realize that they were born
into sin.
And given that the concepts of purgatory and
limbo were invented after the Bible was
written, they never entered into the popular
discourse until ... Dante wrote about them.
Shit, at this point we're willing to suggest that
Dante invented more of Christianity than Jesus
did.
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by frankg1(m): 10:55am On Apr 24, 2015
#2. The Prostitute Mary Magdalene

Mary Magdalene is one of the most famous
female characters in the Bible, yet only the
second-most famous Mary. She was Jesus'
only female disciple, overshadowed by 12
much more famous dudes. She was a
prostitute whom Jesus forgave, and she
proceeded to follow him around, washing his
feet and redeeming herself from a life of
sinful whoring. Some have speculated that she
was secretly Christ's favorite, leading to
conspiracy theories about the church covering
up the fact that they got married and had kids
(which obviously is what The Da Vinci Code is
about).
But, according to the Bible, basically none of
the above paragraph is true.

Sure, Mary Magdalene does appear in the
gospels as a disciple of Jesus, but that's about
it. She wasn't a prostitute and wasn't even the
only female in his entourage -- Luke Chapter
8 lists his disciples , which include Magdalene;
Joanna, wife of Chuza; and somebody named
Susanna. Jesus was actually pretty popular
with the ladies.

Basically, the myths surrounding Magdalene's
life came about when people started confusing
her with other people, on account of the fact
that there are just too damn many women in
the Bible named Mary. In fact, there are two
other characters who have been lumped in
with Magdalene just for sharing what was
probably the most popular woman's name of
the era -- Mary of Bethany, the sister of
Lazarus, who cooked Jesus dinner because it
seemed the polite thing to do after he
resurrected her brother, and a woman "who
lived a sinful life" who may or may not also
have been named Mary, and whom Jesus
forgives to the confusion of his apostles who
are aghast that he let her filthy mitts touch
him.
Both of the other Marys greet Jesus by
dumping perfume on his feet and wiping it off
with their hair, which was apparently just a
thing people did back then (nobody in the
story seems to think it's odd). But the
medieval Catholic Church, presumably
deciding that there were just way too many
characters in the Bible and that people were
likely to get confused by all these Marys,
made an official decree that all three women
were the same person. Just like future
generations might simplify history by
conflating Jennifer Lawrence and Jennifer
Aniston.

The church retracted the claim in 1969, but
because most people don't keep themselves
up to date on the minutiae of Catholic dogma,
the myth remains that Mary Magdalene is the
"sinful woman" who scrubbed Jesus' feet with
her hair. And even then, the Bible doesn't
specify that "sinful" means she was a
prostitute -- that much comes down to pure
gossip. Though it's telling that people
immediately made that leap.
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by tupem: 10:56am On Apr 24, 2015
undecided cracked up op!
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by frankg1(m): 11:04am On Apr 24, 2015
The last but definitley not the least..

Satan, The Lone Enemy Of God

This is where we hit maximum controversy
-- according to traditional Christian lore,
Satan was one of the first angels and
originally one of God's favorites, until he
rebelled and was cast down to Earth, where
he became not only the Prince Of Darkness
and mankind's primary antagonist but the
yin to God's yang and the guy everyone
blames when things go wrong. Everyone
who has attended even a single Sunday
school session knows about Satan's war
against everything that's good and his
ultimate war against God and Heaven, so
you assume he has a significant role in the
Bible.
Well ... yes and no. Like your Facebook
status with your on-again-off-again friend-
with-benefits, God's relationship with Satan
is complicated.

We've already talked about how Satan's
popular appearance as a goat-horned,
trident-wielding dude with red skin is just a
product of pop culture, but that only
scratches the surface. First of all, most of
the Bible's references to the critter we think
of as Satan are actually, probably, referring
to completely different entities.
For example, the snake in the Garden Of
Eden who convinced Eve to eat the
forbidden fruit was probably referring to an
actual talking snake rather than a shape-
shifting devil, as evidenced by God cursing
it to crawl on its belly for eternity. That
wasn't Satan; it was just a snake who
happened to be an asshole.

Then later in the Old Testament, the word
"Satan" is just used to mean "adversary" --
the way "antichrist" was used to refer to
anyone who hated Christians.
Strangest of all, in one of the very few times
that Satan actually appears with a speaking
role in the Bible, he's kind of God's adviser
on human relations. In the story of Job,
Satan is one of many angels who attend
when God holds court in his heavenly
kingdom. Job is God's favorite human due to
his righteousness, but Satan suggests that
maybe Job wouldn't be so righteous if God
took away his wealth and family, so God
decides he has a point and proceeds to do so.
That's right -- God gets advice from Satan,
decides it's a good idea, and follows through
with it.
Then, someone refers to Lucifer in another
book, commonly believed to be the Devil's
real name. That turned out to be a simple
misunderstanding -- the author of Isaiah 14
was taking the mickey out of a Babylonian
king by comparing him to the descent of the
planet Venus (it translates roughly to
"bright morning star"wink. Later translators got
mixed up and decided that this, too, was a
reference to a single demonic being behind
everything.

Finally, the character of Satan as the
general in a great battle against God comes
together in the Book Of Revelation, which
says this:
And the great dragon was cast out, that old
serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which
deceiveth the whole world: He was cast out
into the earth, and his angels were cast out
with him.
That's right: "The great dragon." After going
the whole book with no physical
description of Satan (no horns, no red
pajamas, no pitchfork), suddenly at the very
end they just mention in passing that, oh
yeah, he's a giant dragon. Holy shit, guys. It
seems like you kind of buried the lede there.

N.B culled from cracled.com
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by madmadu(m): 11:04am On Apr 24, 2015
Oga, either u'r gay and trying 2 defend ur sexuality, or u jst rili ava lot of tym on ur hands
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by frankg1(m): 11:14am On Apr 24, 2015
madmadu:
Oga, either u'r gay and trying 2 defend ur sexuality, or u jst rili ava lot of tym on ur hands


So? Are u a beta human dan a gay man?
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by Nobody: 11:29am On Apr 24, 2015
go on...
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by Henrypraise41(m): 11:53am On Apr 24, 2015
As long as im comcern, you are talking nya nya mpu, thats out of point.
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by Henrypraise41(m): 11:54am On Apr 24, 2015
Henrypraise41:
As long as im concern, you are talking nya nya mpu, thats out of point.
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by frankg1(m): 12:55pm On Apr 24, 2015
Henrypraise41:
As long as im comcern, you are talking nya nya mpu, thats out of point.

As long as ayam concerned ur opinion isnt needed. Ignorant nigerian. Let ur pastors b deceiving u
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by motherlode: 1:42pm On Apr 24, 2015
frankg1:
1. Sodom And Gomorrah Getting
Destroyed For Homosexuality

If you ask someone to point out a part of the
Bible where God specifically condemns
homosexuality, they're likely to refer you to
Genesis 19, the story of Sodom and
Gomorrah, the San Franciscos of the ancient
world. The popular story is that God
destroyed these two cities due to rampant
homosexuality (in fact, that's where the word
"sodomy" as we know it today comes from)
and sent two angels like a heavenly SEAL team
to extract Lot, the only non-gay citizen, and
his family before the wrath came down.
This is why, for instance, you'll hear
preachers today insist that hurricanes target
cities that hold Gay Pride parades:

The only problem is that there is absolutely
no reference in the Bible to anyone in Sodom
being gay, and even if they were, that's never
given as one of the reasons God wanted to
wipe the place out. If anything, the biggest
sin of the people of Sodom was that they
really hated foreigners.

In the story, God sends two angels in human
form into Sodom to visit Lot's house and
inform him that he might want to pack his
bags because some serious Old Testament shit
was scheduled to happen the next day. This
was because the people of Sodom were
"wicked" and their sins were "grievous" --
they didn't get more specific than that. But
when Lot's neighbors caught wind of the fact
that he had out-of-town visitors, they
gathered their torches and pitchforks and paid
him a visit, demanding to be given a chance to
give the foreigners some old-fashioned Sodom
hospitality (read: beating and raping them).

Now, it is true that the Sodom lynch mob
issues a clear rape threat against Lot's (male)
visitors. The quote from the King James Bible
is, "Bring them out unto us, that we may
know them." In Bible talk, "knowing"
someone doesn't exactly mean meeting them
over coffee. Many interpret this as evidence of
how crazy they all were about gay sex, that
the very fact that there were dudes in their
city who they hadn't sexed up yet drove them
to violent insanity.

But one rape threat against anyone doesn't
make someone gay so much as an asshole
(see: any prison) and that one line is the only
reference to any kind of sexual activity in the
whole story. When the Bible clarifies later
what Sodom had done to piss off God, it says
it was the fact that people of Sodom were
lazy, arrogant, and uncharitable. Here's the
quote from the King James version :
Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister
Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and
abundance of idleness was in her and in her
daughters, neither did she strengthen the
hand of the poor and needy. And they were
haughty, and committed abomination before
me: Therefore I took them away as I saw
good.

Whether or not he thought too many people
were doing it in the butt isn't given so much
as a footnote in the list of God's grievances.
But the only thing anyone remembers about
the sins of Sodom is that one guy who
shouted out that he wanted to pork some
angels -- to the point that this is how
"sodomy" wound up in modern language. So
here's a fun exercise: The next time your
Christian friend refuses to give money to a
poor person, say, "Hey, you just sodomized
that guy!"
your case is more than a sorry case, you need extra-ordinary deliverance!
In the beginning when God created Adam, he created eve (a female) to be his companion and not a male simply because he was the master planner who never advocated for a male and male or female and female relationship and as you have in your write up @ the bolded, committing an abomination is the same thing as going against the will of God by being involved in a gay or lesbian relationship!
If God wanted a man to man, he would not have created Eve out of Adam and also if God wanted lesbianism he would not have created Adam in the first place. Please use your head, or what is it for? undecided
Repent of your evil ways for the kingdom of God is @hand.
Re: Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (but Aren't) by madmadu(m): 11:19pm On Apr 25, 2015
frankg1:



So? Are u a beta human dan a gay man?
Neva said I was.

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