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The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) - Literature - Nairaland

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Why Transgender Africans Turned Against Chimamanda Adichie / 1985.... 1987.... 2014--[a Crime Story] / Behind The Clouds By Ifeoma Okoye (2) (3) (4)

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The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 7:14am On May 10, 2015
all rigts reserved no part of this story should be used without the authors permission. copyright © 2015
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Iolite(f): 9:18am On May 10, 2015
Following. The title look's captivating.
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by drsolob2(m): 9:19am On May 10, 2015
Carry on man
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 1:17pm On May 10, 2015
tnx still typing
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 2:43pm On May 10, 2015
The police officers at a check point noticed a bike head light "who be that"?. I thought okada has been banned in this state,one of the officers said. Park well,come down. Remove your head gear. A female that looked as if she was in her late twenties was the face behind the head gear. "don't you know that they have banned bike in delta state". "No,i had no idea",she said."are you new in this place",the officer said."yeah i 'm new". We cant just let you go like that na. So find kola for us or we will book you,and you will follow us to the station. "okay let me check". She tapped her right pocket. But it didn't sound as if there was anything in it. So she put her hand in her left pocket of her trouser. The looks on her face changed."i knew i didn't leave it",she said. The officers smiled. She brought out a gun and pulled the trigger on the two officers,collected their guns and decapitated the two officers and kept them in a bag and zoomed of




--- to be continued---
follow and reply

9 Likes 3 Shares

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by craise(m): 12:10pm On May 11, 2015
I just came here to register my presence I wil come to read later..Akpobi ride on

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 12:54pm On May 11, 2015
skarlett please do you know where I can read that keeping up with .... diary please I've forgotten the remaining part of the title, and I've forgotten her username
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 6:19pm On May 12, 2015
m preparing to drop the next one

am i seeing follows here?

2 Likes

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Iolite(f): 7:31pm On May 12, 2015
akpobi:
m preparing to drop the next one


am i seeing follows here?

Impress us.

2 Likes

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 7:37pm On May 12, 2015
Otega was still in church when he received a call that there had just been a murder on deco road. Otega was an investigator. His looks changed immediately. "ah,ah not on sunday again" he said. He ended the call, and dialed mr keziah's number. Mr keziah picked the call . "what do you want", mr keziah said rudely. "i need you to go to deco road theres been a murder and make sure you come with a forensics team" mr keziah cut him off saying "i am indisposed", mr keziah then hanged the call ."keziah are you still there" . What !! "Did he just hang up on me". He said to himself. Although mr keziah and otega had been having a feud but otega described what keziah had done as "uncalled for. Otega took permission from the church elders and left . He drove off in his audi 80 that his dad gave him when he graduated. Otega was a bachelor,dark in complexion and had what seemed like a swollen cheek due to the fight between him and keziah ,an assistant investigator. Keziah had pummeled his face.

At the crime scene otega had felt like throwing up because of the gruesome way they were murdered. Otega turned to the other police and said "do you have their i.d's yet?". No, not yet the police officer replied. Then what the hell have you been doing since. You want to tell me that you have been staring at these corpses for over one hour?. "call the ambulance".must i do everything my self. "what of the forensics team?". "they haven't arrived"the officer replied. mr otega shouted "this is un believable". Am going to file a report . "sir please don't". The officer replied. "hold your peace, this a gross negligence of duty". How can i solve a case like this when, wait whats that smell. "Flies are already dancing round the corpse, its like they are decomposing". The officer said



---to be continued--

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 12:35pm On May 13, 2015
akpobi:
m preparing to drop the next one

am i seeing follows here?
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 7:31pm On May 14, 2015
I dy follow, follow
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by OMA4U(m): 2:19pm On May 15, 2015
akpobi:
A bike headlight was seen by the police officers at a check point "who be that"?. I thought okada has been banned in this state,one of the officers said. Park well,come down. Remove your head gear. A female that looked as if she was in her late twenties was the face behind the head gear. "don't you know that they have banned bike in delta state". "No,i had no idea",she said."are you new in this place",the officer said."yeah i am". We cant just let you go like that na. So find kola for us or we will book you,and you will follow us to the station. "okay let me check". She tapped her right pocket. But it didn't sound as if there was anything in it. So she put her hand in her left pocket of her trouser. The looks on her face changed."i knew i didn't leave it",she said. The officers smiled. She brought out a gun and pulled the trigger on the two officers,collected their guns and decapitated the two officers and kept them in a bag and zoomed of




--- to be continued---
follow and reply
This story is not well written. The opening sentence is poor. It could be better this way: The police officers at the checkpoint saw a bike headlight approaching.... My humble opinion, please.

12 Likes

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by OMA4U(m): 2:24pm On May 15, 2015
Let us know who Otega and Keziah were. Tell us our their past; their triumphs and failures.

The end part of the first post is poor too. Create suspense and make your story great. You have got a nice plot. Develop it well. Thank you.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by timpaker(m): 2:38pm On May 15, 2015
akpobi:
Otega was still in church when he received a call that there had just been a murder on deco road. Otega was an investigator. His looks changed immediately. "ah,ah not on sunday again" he said. He ended the call, and dialed mr keziah's number. Mr keziah picked the call . "what do you want", mr keziah said rudely. "i need you to go to deco road theres been a murder and make sure you come with a forensics team" mr keziah cut him off saying "i am indisposed", mr keziah then hanged the call ."keziah are you still there" . What !! "Did he just hang up on me". He said to himself. Although mr keziah and otega had been having a feud but otega described what keziah had done as "uncalled for. Otega took permission from the church elders and left . He drove off in his audi 80 that his dad gave him when he graduated. Otega was a bachelor,dark in complexion and had what seemed like a swollen cheek due to the fight between him and keziah ,an assistant investigator. Keziah had pummeled his face.

At the crime scene otega had felt like throwing up because of the gruesome way they were murdered. Otega turned to the other police and said "do you have their i.d's yet?". No, not yet the police officer replied. Then what the hell have you been doing since. You want to tell me that you have been staring at these corpses for over one hour?. "call the ambulance".must i do everything my self. "what of the forensics team?". "they haven't arrived"the officer replied. mr otega shouted "this is un believable". Am going to file a report . "sir please don't". The officer replied. "hold your peace, this a gross negligence of duty". How can i solve a case like this when, wait whats that smell. "Flies are already dancing round the corpse, its like they are decomposing". The officer said



---to be continued--

I am interested in your story. Please for the sake your readers kindly paragraph your lines well.
Secondly, edit the "Am" to "I'm", "theres" to "there has" and all names are to begin with a capital letter (so is a new sentence)

Generally, you did great and I am following...
#MoreUpdatesPlease cool

19 Likes

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 6:27am On May 16, 2015
OMA4U:
This story is not well written. The opening sentence is poor. It could be better this way: The police officers at the checkpoint saw a bike headlight approaching.... My humble opinion, please.



tanks. it has been modified
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 8:49pm On May 16, 2015
OMA4U:
Let us know who Otega and Keziah were. Tell us our their past; their triumphs and failures.

The end part of the first post is poor too. Create suspense and make your story great. You have got a nice plot. Develop it well. Thank you.






noticed + tnx
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by drtwist: 8:33am On May 17, 2015
area write your story no mind all this *correcting fluid*, them no know say although our primary and secondary school na pidgin english teachers take teach us english and still we dey write exam with english dey pass.

But try take correction shall I dey with you from sedico road

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 12:23pm On May 18, 2015
daevfeelvu
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 7:07am On May 19, 2015
professorbea:
daevfeelvu


tanks oo

1 Like

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 2:59pm On May 20, 2015
drtwist:
area write your story no mind all this *correcting fluid*, them no know say although our primary and secondary school na pidgin english teachers take teach us english still we dey right exam with english.
But try take correction shall I dey with you from sedico road



noticed

1 Like

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 9:04am On May 26, 2015
finally 400 views
tanks for the views and follows m going to drop the rest later this week
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 3:57pm On Jun 22, 2015
guys am sorry for the hold up on the updates. Am writing major exams
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Kitme(f): 4:41pm On Jun 22, 2015
akpobi:
finally 400 views

tanks for the views and follows
m going to drop the rest later this week
Are you after the views or churning out well-written story?

3 Likes

Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 8:44pm On Jun 23, 2015
Kitme:
Are you after the views or churning out well-written story? Things to work on -->Your description! -->Your spacing and punctuation! -->Your diction, not bad, but it needs to be upped. -->and regular updates to attract more views!
Peace!

noticed
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 7:29pm On Aug 21, 2015
going to be adding more posts every saturday sorry for the delay
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by Nobody: 3:40pm On Aug 28, 2015
*Back at the office*
Mr otega was taking his coffee when some police officers were dragging a man that seemed like he was in his mid thirties.
"I didn't do it",he said. 'Tell that to the judge next week',the officer replied. Mr otega quickly got up like he had an idea. He took his blazers from the arm of the chair,with the cup of coffee in his hand and was heading towards the door when an officer stopped him. "where are you going to?" it's like i have a lead on this case,he replied."well that can wait cause we need you at the board room"
A man looking well built walked towards us,wearing a black suit that seemed new obviously because the label was hanging on the breast pocket of the suit. He was black in complexion and had a staunch of dry gin hovering round him. He had a hoarse voice "i am mr wallace chinelu, i am going to be in charge of the investigation " he said.
"but we have a lead on this case" otega replied. "Yes,of course you have a lead. So as sixteen homocide cases that you aren't done with investigating. What i just said dates back to 2007. I've had enough of this discussion with you."handover the files "
he said."i will have to see your i.d",mr otega replied.
Mr Wallace immediately brought out his i.d card. Otega scrutinised it and gave it back. "So what am i going to do now",otega said. " what were you doing before?,It seemed like you were on your way out","yes'', '' i wanted to revisit the crime scene"
Mr otega drove off almost as if nothing had happened. He dove to the crime scene.
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by money121(m): 11:56pm On Aug 28, 2015
nice one
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by mcdokwe(m): 11:56pm On Aug 28, 2015
ff
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by bqlekan(m): 11:56pm On Aug 28, 2015
Following
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by RealAdewole(m): 11:57pm On Aug 28, 2015
ok
Re: The Day The Clouds Turned Red (crime Story) by adesegun121(m): 11:57pm On Aug 28, 2015
shocked shocked shocked shocked

1 Like

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