Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,165,593 members, 7,861,829 topics. Date: Saturday, 15 June 2024 at 08:33 PM

The Northerner Finally Succeeded In Killing Me - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Northerner Finally Succeeded In Killing Me (531 Views)

‘My Wife Is Killing Me With Having Too Many Children, She Bears Them Like Rats’ / My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me / My Uncle's Wife Is Killing Me. (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply)

The Northerner Finally Succeeded In Killing Me by Eddygourdo(m): 8:51pm On May 12, 2015
I am a Christian not a born again I know. I don't gossip, covet my neighbour's wife, kill or steal. asides the occasional fornication and orijin I should make at least purgatory (if true). Why exactly the hosts of angels in heaven and demons in hell decided to make me sleep off till past nine in the am still baffles me. Sharp sharp I rub and shine, brush my mouth put on my coat and hurry off to my jalopy. 20 precious minutes gone with abuses, kicks, battery head check, pushing and swearing I gave up cos the car swore today must be it's day off. I leaped out of the gate and there he was. Beckoning on me, kai brada, where I dey go. Cough cough. Na pipty Naira cough cough, walahi puel Don cost cough cough, all the while I shrieked in disgust with the phlegm he kept spitting out. Tuberculosis and ebola can't be far from that man I thought anyway my phone has been ringing and I had told them earlier (I don dey near o) when I woke up. Anyho the journey began, I remembered I haven't said my morning prayers or sang to the Lord. Then I started singing . So melodiously. Cough cough, my brain no code, cough cough again, and then as I was rendering the chorus I tasted it, a salty lump passed through my mouth into my throat. Jesus, aboki spit inside my mouth, and I swallowed with a sonorous mma mma eh, rendition. Oh I collapsed. We tumbled, I screamed for my mother, I ate sand, I punched my stomach willing myself to vomit, people begged me I wept I cried, I chased the aboki to kill him and realised I must have ebola thanks to the worms digesting the disease lump. Wat did I do wrong, chinwe y did u pass the night, when u said oh God am coming jesus thought u meant it and punished me for closing ur mouth so my neighbours won't hail me as the exorcist. Am really sad, weeping and miserable. Abokina walahi I killed me
Re: The Northerner Finally Succeeded In Killing Me by Nobody: 9:10pm On May 12, 2015
See a doctor
Re: The Northerner Finally Succeeded In Killing Me by Dioxidane: 9:28pm On May 12, 2015
Wow!! Very interesting story undecided

(1) (Reply)

4 Tips To Spice Up Your Sex Life / My Wonderful Family / Is It Advisable To Use Starvation As A Form Of Punishment?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 10
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.