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My Polygamous Father; A Must read for Nigerian Youths - Politics - Nairaland

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My Polygamous Father; A Must read for Nigerian Youths by generaliy07(m): 8:20am On May 16, 2015
This is a long but interesting article, written by Idede Oseyande Osesky, Former SUG Secretary, Federal University of Technology, Akure.

Enjoy.

#MY POLYGAMOUS FATHER

I was born into a polygamous family and all my life I have fought through the hurdles of
polygamy.

From the unhealthy competition with my half
brothers and sisters, to the 'security consciousness' due to the fear of expecting
attacks from my step mothers.

We are Africans and we are polygamous from
inception. This made us famous as it provides us with the needed man power for our traditional business- FARMING, FISHING, AND HUNTING!

Now, everyone is giving me a frown because I
said my dad is polygamous. This is because the whites have told us polygamy is bad. I am sure it won't have been an issue if I was talking on this issue in the early 19th century.

Now back to our discussion. My father has not
always had problems with his polygamous
lifestyle. His family was peaceful and they toil the soil to earn a living.

Then there was an invasion! Some white
foreigners came and explore our lands. They then opened our eyes to some regions close to us.

My father, who was once a Bini, was now
christened 'NIGERIAN'. He was happy, he has
been exposed to an emerging new world! A world filled with possibilities, so he thought!

He danced and poured out palm wine, thanking the gods for their blessings and good health.

Little did he know that, his children will bear the brunt of that action!
Need I remind you that the white called it
Amalgamation! It was the birth of a new nation!

......love has been replaced with hate
And with hope for a better Nigeria we still wait.

CC:

Ishilove

Lalasticlala
Re: My Polygamous Father; A Must read for Nigerian Youths by generaliy07(m): 8:22am On May 16, 2015
#THE POLYGAMOUS NATIONALIST

The amalgamation opened my father's eyes to variety of women. He married from all the then known regions.

From the far northern region, to the Mid-eastern region, from the basin of chad to the Mid-western region, he married from all tribes. He was a national polygamist! He soon filled the land with his numerous children.

We were all left to ourselves. We tilled the soil with our various mothers, to earn a living; while our daddy gallivant around claiming a prosperous NATIONALIST.

He had no favourite child as many had accused him, he only reckon with those who have made huge achievements. As long as we bear his name NIGERIA, he was contented. This also made it impossible for us to learn a common language.

As children, we were all left to our mothers. Women as they are, took the opportunity, using us trade disputes with their fellow wives. At the height of these family fracas, my father came up with a new 'Unity Plan'. This was with the intention of making us see ourselves as brothers.

The wives were to take weekly turn in preparing the family meals. During this period the wife in charge controls all my father's resources.

This soon led to another phase of our striving. For a particular wife soon started getting more cooking weeks than others. Whether it was her art of seduction, or my father's love for her 'Okazi' soup, that I cannot tell. But, I do know that my step mother from mid eastern region, was acclaimed the favourite.

The benefits of being in charge of the kitchen, soon made the rivalry toug, and were this finally led us is a story for another day....
Re: My Polygamous Father; A Must read for Nigerian Youths by generaliy07(m): 8:25am On May 16, 2015
#THE BIRTH OF HATRED

'When my enemy is your enemy, then we have something in common'

This soon became the case of our house. My mother and the other wives saw my step mother from the east as a threat to their growth and existence. And as such she soon became the common enemy to all the wives of my father.

She was accused of;
- Greed and always wanting to be in charge
- Partial treatment, as her children are fed fat before giving crumbs to other members of the family
- Underhand lobbying as against the competence in her special 'okazi' soup that she claims to be the basis for her privileges.

During all these family feud in the house, my dad was indifferent about the situation. He kept saying, they are women and would soon get over it. Friends and neighbours saw the looming family war, even Lee Kuan Yew from far away Singapore. Yet my 'nationalist' Dad, didn't see any cause for alarm.

On this fateful week, my step mother as usual was in charge of the kitchen. She served her children and kinsmen, and sent messages to the rest of us, announcing the shortage of food.

"Enough is enough!" we all shouted! "Why would the food finish when it got to our turn?" The growing suspicion got to the high heavens, when news went round that Azikiwe, (that happened to be one of the eldest sons of my step mother) has eaten and another elder Ironsi, was having extra to spare.

"You are brothers!", my Dad screamed on top of his voice. But this time it was barely as loud as the cry of a toddler. To my angry brothers, it was mere whispers. Emotions took over and the whole family was thrown into a prolonged quarrel.

As the voices started coming down, one would thought things were getting settled, only for us to find my step mother from the east dead and her son.

**********************
Re: My Polygamous Father; A Must read for Nigerian Youths by generaliy07(m): 8:26am On May 16, 2015
#THE BIRTH OF HATRED

Who killed her? We could not tell. Revenge and vengeance was the order of the day. Attacks and reprisal attacks continued for some time. All of a sudden, one of my step brothers from the east, coordinated his siblings and demanded their inheritance from our father's wealth!

They were greeted with a great force from the rest of us. The response was summarised thus; "We tolerated your dominance, and ate your 'okazi' soup, despite the troubles it gave to our stomachs. Now you have to also taste from our 'tuwo shinkafa' or 'amala and ewedu'. This house is for our father and you can not go anywhere!".

This was not the response my step brothers expected, so they went headlong to fight for total separation.

'On that inglorious day in history
Which for a long time- would not be erased
A sad twist to our fate and story
From time to time would always be raised'

......now we are dealing with the scars from the past
Re: My Polygamous Father; A Must read for Nigerian Youths by generaliy07(m): 8:27am On May 16, 2015
#THE SCARS FROM THE PAST

#Scars from the Past....

'Wounds heal, but it leaves its scars
It reminds you of the night like the stars
For someone once betrayed, by a back thrust
Would ensure no one is behind him at all cost".

A good number of Nigerians today, are either too young during the civil war, or were not born by then. Very few individuals living today, have first hand information of what transpired as at that time. I took keen interest during the interview of 'GOWON', at his 80th birthday celebration last year. I saw nothing but regrets. There was a thousand ways, the issue would have been addressed. But enough of blame trade!

Now my brothers from the east are still feeling marginalised. I have experienced their anger anytime they are been told, [without sugar coating it] that they can never rule this country again!

Now let's see it from both sides; you can't tell us to give you a slot to cook the family meals, while you are still telling the tales of your mother's death with so much hate.

You can't keep nursing the scars from the past, and expect the rest of us to trust you with our two eyes closed. The skepticism with which we analyse your your national political ambition is because of these scars of the past you keep reopening.

I am tempted to align with Rochas Okorochas open letter to the Ndigbos, the country is going through another socio-political phase, and it will be in the best interest for you to align with openness and singleness of heart.

On the other hand, my brothers and sisters from other regions should learn to be patient with our eastern brother. No one gets over his mother's murder easily. We cannot continue fueling these age long hatred of our mothers.

It was not our desire for our father to be polygamous, but it is our duty to live peacefully with our step brothers. After all, whether the boundaries are independent or not, we will still be neighbours and bilateral relationship will be practised!

*************
Re: My Polygamous Father; A Must read for Nigerian Youths by generaliy07(m): 8:29am On May 16, 2015
#TRADITION OF ETHNIC INTEREST

It is always easy addressing issues from the Judge's seat. This is why, blame trade seems to be the best conscience cleansing mechanism for an average Nigerian leader.

Over time, the intellectuals have always been pointing fingers to the illiterates as the bane of the country's ethnic intolerance and violence. But in reality, the intellectuals and opinion moulders are the root cause.

Permit me to run through some government establishments, which I term 'Development in line with ethnic interest'. I will be giving examples from Edo and Ondo states.

-Bendel state university (Ambrose Ali University) was established during the regime of Prof Ambrose Ali of the defunct Bendel state

- Adekunle Ajasin University (Akungba Akoko, Ondo state). Established during the regime of Pa Ajasin as governor of Ondo state

- Ondo state university of science and technology (Okitipupa, Ondo state), established during the regime of Olusegun Agagu

-Edo state polytechnic (Usen, Edo state), was established during the regime of Lucky Igbinedion. Same regime saw him relocate the state NYSC permanent orientation camp from Abudu to Okada.

I don't know much about the land mass distribution of Bayelsa state, but I am undoubtedly sure that, the location of the new federal university in otuoke is because the sitting president is from that place.

All the schools mentioned above, were established in the home towns of either the father or mother of the administrator in charge. This is the same old tradition of feeding your children first when you are in charge of the kitchen.

This same cancer that ate our family love while my father was around, is the same very cancer my elder brothers have been nursing and grooming all these years!

*************************
Re: My Polygamous Father; A Must read for Nigerian Youths by generaliy07(m): 8:30am On May 16, 2015
You can not be talking about violence free elections, or elections not been a 'do or die' affair, while you take the mandate of the people to appease your clan and cronies. Definitely, the other clans would desperately want to get the mandate, when the opportunity arises, if for nothing else but to get their share of our collective wealth.

So what then is the way forward?
Re: My Polygamous Father; A Must read for Nigerian Youths by generaliy07(m): 8:33am On May 16, 2015
CC:
Lalasticlala
Ikenna351.
OAM4J.
Afam4eva
Re: My Polygamous Father; A Must read for Nigerian Youths by generaliy07(m): 8:35am On May 16, 2015
#THE GENERATION OF PROGRESSIVES

History has proven that every generation has a collective task to achieve. The success of this task distinguishes a generation from another.

Ours for example, had a generation that fought foreign invasion, another tried to manage the loss of the previous generation in creating a diplomatic understanding with the invaders, since they couldn't chase them back.

The next generation had a better equipment (thanks to education and exposures), and they utilised it in fighting for total separation from the invaders. It was celebrated and tagged 'Independence/ Freedom'.

This same generation had been struggling to get a road map for our sustenance and development. In this regard, some have accepted defeat, branding themselves 'the generation that failed'.

Now the onus is gradually falling on us, and we are privileged in so many aspects.

Firstly, our generation is experiencing a smooth transition of democratic government. Unlike our predecessors, that have to combat military tyranny, thereby wasting time and energy they would have spent on inventions and development.

Secondly, We are the generation with the Internet Explorer. Unlike other generations that had to go through piles of books for research purposes. With just a click and a good network, the world is on your footstool.

Thirdly, we are in a generation that has evolved in the time when the world has come to the realisation of social dependence on each other. A time when bilateral relationship is a necessity and not out of charity. Therefore, raising the tolerance and respect for people of other climes and regions.

Last but not the least, is the social media feat. This has completely globalised the world. Making gossip and information exchange alot easier. This has made supervision, inspection and cordialliness very much simpler!

With all these privileges and many more, what justification can we give to history and posterity for us to fail?


~Idede Oseyande Osesky is a Former secretary, SUG, Federal University of Technology, Akure

52DA68E9
Re: My Polygamous Father; A Must read for Nigerian Youths by generaliy07(m): 8:40am On May 16, 2015
May we in this generation not fail individually and collectively in playing our role towards building this great Nation.

Wishing every Nairalander a fulfilling weekend.

Long live Nairalanders

Long live Nairaland

Long Live Nigeria


Thanks for reading.

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