Skimming through the topic, most probably what flashes through your mind is “How is that possible”, Of course it is very possible if you know how to manipulate your ways, but get ready to succumb to one, more or all of the following conditions :

Get Ready To Spend : Since you are feeling somehow too huge to lift a pot and strike a matchbox, get ready to stroll into the abode of mama put and spray some cash to get some stuffs into your ever-worried belly. This is not an easy task though, imagine you eating three times with a purchasing power, calculating it at a rate of #200 per meal if you are not a glutton affiliate, summing up to #600 per day, invariably #4,200 per week and an aggressive aggregate of #16,800 in a month!! COME! Grab a seat and sit next to me, how much is Nigeria’s minimum wage??Leave that aside, how much does it cost to set up a pure water factory somewhere at the backyard of this street?? Imagine you saving that sum for a couple of months, my guy you are already a business man. Ruminate on that. Shoutouts to those guys that do the cooking, not all of you do not have the money to spend but it’s cool to plan your future right from time.

Get Ready To Beg : You know blue blood is not running through your vein and you don’t want that pot to leave a black spot on your skin?? Then let me give you some tactics on how to survive without doing the cooking,by begging. Go to Youtube and download a couple of Basketmouth comedy videos, cram as many as possible, this might take you days to do so. Wake up and scout the person that is cooking out, walk up to him and give him a friendly handshake while you shout ” My Surest Dude! How Your Night Na”, avoid the usage of pure English so it won’t sound like you are forming phonetics, do not leave the guy’s hand after the handshake though, keep shaking him like he just won golden boot and you are to present it to him, then sharply look around for a circumstance that will befit one of the jokes in your head, throw the joke in the air and laugh hysterically as you crack it, remember, laughter at times stimulates laughter… The condition is straight, if you are a dry comedian, you cracked it at the wrong time, or your joke doesn’t seem funny , then you need another means of getting food. Else, he laughs and probably other roommates join in the process, I must say “You don hammer!”, just sit back and wait for the food to get done, then echo the statement “Guy I dey chop o”, you have a 70% chance of eating part of the food. Just note that this tactics wont last you more than five times before they get to know the kind of human being you are.
But why should you go through the whole long process of If’s and Else’s like you are writing python syntax, just for something as simple as “Eating”, it will soil your dignity for sure and very soon they will start insulting you with the punchline, they might even compose personal anthem for you, depending on the category of roomies you have in your possession.
So, get off your high horse, head to the market, get some food stuffs and COOK!!!

Get A Rich Girlfriend : Laughter flows through my pen as I hold it tightly and script down this point. It has no guarantee, but just in case, it must be mentioned but no details. When a typical girl nowadays won’t follow you for a stroll if you don’t get her something like suya to mix her saliva, then you will need to offer her the heart of Mother Theresa before you make your own offer of “Cook For Me”. She will definitely have to love you, and if you are not loveable, then this option is not meant for you, scroll to the next. This will definitely affect your dignity as well and it will hardly last long as someone close to the girl will one day mention “This your boyfriend is broke sha o, na everytime e dey chop 4 here“. Oooops! That’s not the best idea, if you already have this mentality then clear it off your mind, it’s abusive.

Get Ready To Starve : Extracting what starving means, in case you don’t know, it means to suffer severely or die from hunger, to be undernourished, malnourished and to experience a concentrated feeling of near-death discomfort or weakness caused by lack of food, coupled with the desire to but nothing to eat. No simple British English can describe it comfortably, everything is huge and scary, for you to know that starving is not even a considerable option for a normal human being. You will see books and wont be unable to read as they will seem like uneatable chops, you will experience nights filled with nightmares, that’s when you will realize that all cats are gray in the dark, you will walk on the street and get shaky and dangling in the direction of the wind like a drunk monk, then you will know the effect of food on your stamina. But I think at that moment, nobody will tell you to get a pot before you do, even if there is no cooker, you might decide to place it under the hot sun, that’s when you will realize that food is the enhancer of human brain.

Conclusively, all points made but the fact remains the same and it’s obvious it’s not easy surviving without cooking on a Nigerian campus, it’s always better to do, it saves your spending and also reduce your dependency.

SOURCE : http://www.eduregard.com.ng/surviving-without-cooking-on-a-nigerian-campus/

f*cking right

Cc: leitner, davidmascot, timmytimmy, deji01, davidbanner, na ur type dis one dey 4 ah swear

9blast:
f*cking right

Cc: leitner, davidmascot, timmytimmy, deji01, davidbanner, na ur type dis one dey 4 ah swear

Dem no dey cook?

EduRegard:
Dem no dey cook?

cooler ministry

9blast:
cooler ministry

Lol...d lucky ones

9blast:
f*cking right

Cc: leitner, davidmascot, timmytimmy, deji01, davidbanner, na ur type dis one dey 4 ah swear

Guy, no cooler ministry again oh. All the girls don wise up. Na new buka and/or garri/cornflakes.

Yesterday, Dejii01 gp scope one hausa man with hausa. We chop extra suya ehn. Make the guy add that point : Make friends with the mama put or restaurant owner

Let the mods do the needful.

Timmytimmy:


Guy, no cooler ministry again oh. All the girls don wise up. Na new buka and/or garri/cornflakes.

Yesterday, Dejii01 gp scope one hausa man with hausa. We chop extra suya ehn. Make the guy add that point : Make friends with the mama put or restaurant owner

Let the mods do the needful.

@bolded...sounds like OAU

Timmytimmy:


Guy, no cooler ministry again oh. All the girls don wise up. Na new buka and/or garri/cornflakes.

Yesterday, Dejii01 go scope one hausa man with hausa. We chop extra suya ehn. Make the guy add that point :Make friends with the mama put or restaurant owner

Let the mods do the needful.

All na packaging

@timmytimmy and deji01
Pls message me on watsapp 08180712474 I have some very important enquiry to makeabout OAU pls it is urgent. Or text me I will call u back even if my phone is off.

Pls kindly treat my comment below as it is urgent tanks.

dejii01:


All na packaging

So in the end, what you're saying is that it's not possible

Timmytimmy:


Guy, no cooler ministry again oh. All the girls don wise up. Na new buka and/or garri/cornflakes.

Yesterday, Dejii01 gp scope one hausa man with hausa. We chop extra suya ehn. Make the guy add that point : Make friends with the mama put or restaurant owner

Let the mods do the needful.

9blast:
f*cking right

Cc: leitner, davidmascot, timmytimmy, deji01, davidbanner, na ur type dis one dey 4 ah swear

lol. laughing in Yoruba hahahahahhaha... Are you in Awo ??

davidmascot:
lol. laughing in Yoruba hahahahahhaha... Are you in Awo ??

i dey faj

Always walk with spoon

Always walk with spoon in ur pocket

K

I just coincided wiv one option there. GET A RICH GIRLFRIEND

i hate begging in my Life

If you follow all these steps....then u are ready to be a pest except no 1 if u get your OWN money

Really?

Well, OP you try!




But some of us did it and don't think cooking really saves you money except na rice and oil levels.
Cooking only entrusts quality to you and flexibility of eating time.


MHO though

I remember my big dude back in school days....always visiting buka 10 and mama delta....

Until injury period (usually 2weeks before exam....na dis period bah deh finish for account and for house too ...I still don't know why)....injury period I see ma guy carry pot all the way from hall3 to hall4....



Nor b small thing o

Na so I take manage finish school, e no easy but that's the price for being lazy

get ready to suffer !!

by the time hungry bend ur neck u no go know when u go start cooking

Na no 2 sure pass. During my undergraduate days in Uniport, i used to have a hostel mate that always come visiting once the food is done. I no know whether the guy de use jazz. One day i and my roommie cooked our last 2 cups of rice only for this guy to show face immediately we brought down the food from the fire, na so we hide the pot under our bed waiting for the guy to leave, he stayed till midnight. He left and immediately we brought out the food, na so the guy come back say im forget him charger for our room, he caught us red handed. He join us chop the small rice.

Funny writeup

#teamiyaSekinatBuka

Uniuyo hostel comes to mind...


Tea in the morning

Mama Uduak in the afternoon...



Indomie with boiling ring at night