Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say “happy birthday and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning let alone hapy birthday. I thought well, that’s marriage but the kids-they will remember.

My kids came trampling down to break fats, ate their breakfast and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and left for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent. As I alkedinto my office, my secretary joanne said, “good morning boss and by the way appy birthday” I felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered.
I worked like a zombie until 1.00 p.m. when joanne knocked on my door and said “you know, its such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday. Why don’t we go out for lunch. Just you and me?
I said “thanks Joanne, that’s the best thing Ive heard all day.” So we went to lunch but not in a usual place. She took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a nice meal.
N our way back, Joanne said, “you know, iys such a beautiful day, we don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?”
“I suppose not. What do you have in mind”
“let’s go to my apartment. Its just around the corner.”
At her home she turned to me and said, “boss if you don’t mind, I’m gonna step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.
“o.k” I nervously replied.
After a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my wife, my kids and dozens of my friend and co-workers, all singing “happy birthday”

And I just sat there …
On the couch…
In my boxers!



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Two blondes meet in heaven. “how did you die?” the 1st one asks.
“oh, I died in a freezer” so how did you die?”
“well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came early from work, I looked over the house and try to look for the other woman cos I saw my husband was naked. When climbing the stairs, I slipped, broke my neck and died.
“oh gash! Maybe if you only looked in the freezer, we both might be alive by now!