My girlfriend and I started dating 8 months ago, and I only recently met her father 2 weeks ago because he had been in Nigeria on business. Her mom loves me and we get along very well, and she even taught me how to make gbegiri and ewedu soup, but her father seems very cold and dismissive toward me, and he barely even acknowledges my presence when I greet him. My girlfriend told me that he doesn't have a good history with black Americans, because some of them robbed his convenience store many years ago. What can I do to make him see that I'm not a bad guy? I have a degree, a good job, and I come from a good family, so I don't see what the big deal is. I just don't think it's right to come into a man's house, knowing I'm dating his daughter, and not have any sort of report with him.

Please, if you guys have any suggestions on how to deal with this situation, I would appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

Dude exercise some patience and continue being nice, he may eventually come around.

Buy him something that he loves and bring up interesting conversations.

It's not like you can confront him, abi. Don't even think about going there.

take it slowly ur time will come

Exercise patience.Love conquers.
He's had a bad experience with black americans like you said so you won't expect him to warm up to you easily.
Keep greeting him whenever you meet him and try to have some conversations but don't force it.Just exchange few words and that's okay.You could buy a bottle of wine and give him.

Most importantly,keep being the good man that you say you are.Your ways will convince him.

Good fathers dont joke with their daughters.

The robbery is just an excuse, he knows that he cant judge a whole race based on one persons behavior.

You gilfriends dad is going through a phase of understanding that his baby daughter is grown up and another man will be looking after her.

He will come round

Just continue to be civil and friendly towards him, but most importantly treat his daughter right. That in the end will be the factor that will warm his heart towards you.

I repeat . . .Treat his daughter right.

all the best

Thank you all for the suggestions. Yeah, I sort of got the impression that confronting him would not be a wise option. I think I'll try the gift idea, and see how he responds.

Erm. . . . .

Nigerian women do not last long with African American males o.
I don't know ANY.

Her father has every reason to be concerned.
I would be.

But I would not interfere.
I will allow her a chance at happiness.
If you know anything about AFRICAN DADS and their daughters, it should not be surprising to you.
As long as the father does not accept you, YOU HAVE NO FUTURE WITH HIS DAUGHTER.

Please, say goodbye to her as fast as you can!

I thought you usually sing that nigerian men are for nigerian women and vice versa

KanwuliaJara:
Erm. . . . .

Nigerian women do not last long with African American males o.
I don't know ANY.

Her father has every reason to be concerned.
I would be.

But I would not interfere.
I will allow her a chance at happiness.
If you know anything about AFRICAN DADS and their daughters, it should not be surprising to you.
As long as the father does not accept you, YOU HAVE NO FUTURE WITH HIS DAUGHTER.

Please, say goodbye to her as fast as you can!

SAMBARRY:
I thought you usually sing that nigerian men are for nigerian women and vice versa

I did not change my views.
But anyone is free to "mis-adventure" or "para-adventure"!
Or "BONAventure" kpa-kpa!

Nigerian fathers are only interested in knowing about your intentions to marry their daughters, and not about you 'dating' their daughters.
No, he won't hold you to high esteem, until your intention to marry his daughter is clear.
I'm sure he's pissed you had the guts to come to his house without marriage on the agenda, lol.

KanwuliaJara:
Erm. . . . .
Nigerian women do not last long with African American males o.
I don't know ANY.
Her father has every reason to be concerned.
I would be.
But I would not interfere.
I will allow her a chance at happiness.
If you know anything about AFRICAN DADS and their daughters, it should not be surprising to you.
As long as the father does not accept you, YOU HAVE NO FUTURE WITH HIS DAUGHTER.
Please, say goodbye to her as fast as you can!

This combination is rare. You are even more likely to see Nigerian women with a White man than a Nigerian woman and African american.
The only AA male and naija female combination I know, the naija woman father is not alive.

KanwuliaJara:


I did not change my views.
But anyone is free to "mis-adventure" or "para-adventure"!
Or "BONAventure" kpa-kpa!

Stillfire:


This combination is rare. You are even more likely to see Nigerian women with a White man than a Nigerian woman and African american.
The only AA male and naija female combination I know, the naija woman father is not alive.

Jim iyke and his half aa and half Jamaican girlfriend nko?


they were together for a while before the 2 use beating to quench themselves before they seperated



they even fit each other. 2 aggressive and hot tempered partners. Relationship in paradise

Stillfire:


This combination is rare. You are even more likely to see Nigerian women with a White man than a Nigerian woman and African american.
The only AA male and naija female combination I know, the naija woman father is not alive.

You say rare?
I have NEVER seen that o!
E nor dey happen!
For GOOOOOOOOOD reasons!

Unless na for "CARD"!
Even then. . . . Na HAYWIRE!
I cannot attempt to TRY it o!
The utmost regret in life!

From frying pan to HELL FAYA!!!!
Na GANJA una go chop for breakfast, lunch and dinner 365 days pah-ya ke!

Muchechecheche

Like you already know Jim and his girlfriend relationship was like

KanwuliaJara:


You say rare?
I have NEVER seen that o!
E nor dey happen!
For GOOOOOOOOOD reasons!

Unless na for "CARD"!
Even then. . . . Na HAYWIRE!
I cannot attempt to TRY it o!
The utmost regret in life!

From frying pan to HELL FAYA!!!!
Na GANJA una go chop for breakfast, lunch and dinner 365 days pah-ya ke!

Muchechecheche

Stillfire:
Nigerian fathers are only interested in knowing about your intentions to marry their daughters, and not about you 'dating' their daughters.
No, he won't hold you to high esteem, until your intention to marry his daughter is clear.
I'm sure he's pissed you had the guts to come to his house without marriage on the agenda, lol.

ROFL @ your last sentence. You speak the truth

Just be patient..be yourself too. Don't try to impress him.

SAMBARRY:
Like you already know Jim and his girlfriend relationship was like

Yep!


AKATASTROPHIC!

Stillfire:
Nigerian fathers are only interested in knowing about your intentions to marry their daughters, and not about you 'dating' their daughters.
No, he won't hold you to high esteem, until your intention to marry his daughter is clear.
I'm sure he's pissed you had the guts to come to his house without marriage on the agenda, lol.

yaaa! you have a point. I remember when i was growing up, my sister husbands never came to the house while dey were still dating...the only time they came was when they have stated their intention to marry my sisters. so you may be right.

Stillfire:
Nigerian fathers are only interested in knowing about your intentions to marry their daughters, and not about you 'dating' their daughters.
No, he won't hold you to high esteem, until your intention to marry his daughter is clear.
I'm sure he's pissed you had the guts to come to his house without marriage on the agenda, lol.

Hmm, I never really thought about it that way...In the Afro-American culture, meeting the parents of the person you are dating is considered normal, just as long as it's a serious relationship and not a fling. I have every intention of marrying this woman, but I also see no reason to rush into such a large, and life altering decision. I wonder if it would be best to avoid visiting her at her house until I'm prepared to make a proposal.

Most fathers are cautious of young men and their daughters

How old is the girl and how old are you?

if both of you are matured and you look responsible enough to get married he would turn around

How many fathers immediately warm up to their son in law? It takes time

KanwuliaJara:


Yep!


AKATASTROPHIC!

the effect of weed did wonders on the 2 of them well

Just have good intentions and not out to play long term boyfriend and girlfriend thing, eat or chop clean mouth and walk away. No play thing...your seriousness with the relationship will win him.

ChrisF:
My girlfriend and I started dating 8 months ago, and I only recently met her father 2 weeks ago because he had been in Nigeria on business. Her mom loves me and we get along very well, and she even taught me how to make gbegiri and ewedu soup, but her father seems very cold and dismissive toward me, and he barely even acknowledges my presence when I greet him. My girlfriend told me that he doesn't have a good history with black Americans, because some of them robbed his convenience store many years ago. What can I do to make him see that I'm not a bad guy? I have a degree, a good job, and I come from a good family, so I don't see what the big deal is. I just don't think it's right to come into a man's house, knowing I'm dating his daughter, and not have any sort of report with him.

Please, if you guys have any suggestions on how to deal with this situation, I would appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

Maybe he is expecting you to lay down flat when you see him and you insist on standing on your two feet

I suspect this is a cooked up story! I doubt if an American who is educated like the OP claims would right "report" instead of "rapport"

Babymama1:

Maybe he is expecting you to lay down flat when you see him and you insist on standing on your two feet

lol as in Yoruba way of greeting.

raumdeuter:
Most fathers are cautious of young men and their daughters

How old is the girl and how old are you?

if both of you are matured and you look responsible enough to get married he would turn around

How many fathers immediately warm up to their son in law? It takes time

I am 25, she is 24. You have a point, I didn't expect him to warm up to me immediately, but I also didn't expect the "cold shoulder" I have been getting.

jcmaiah:
I suspect this is a cooked up story! I doubt if an American who is educated like the OP claims would right "report" instead of "rapport"

That's messed up lol, my degree is in mechanical engineering, and everybody knows engineers can't spell