Having seen the confessions of a lot of people on this forum, I am tempted to share my little secret with you and hope that your words of advice or criticism will help me in making the right decision. My name is Adanna (Not real name please) and I am 30 years old. By the grace of God, I will be getting married in about six weeks from now to a very wonderful man whom I love so much and will do anything for. My husband to be, is a very loving and caring man whom I will say is any woman’s dream and I can’t wait to be called his wife. However, I am scared of the future, because of the circumstance of how I met him. I met my husband through his uncle who happens to be a very close friend or to put it in simple terms who was like a sugar daddy to me. Please don’t get it wrong here; I am not the kind of girl that runs after sugar daddies. It just happened that the uncle used to live on the same compound with my parents back in the days in Kaduna where we used to live. Then the uncle was a young bachelor and I was in the secondary school. My siblings and I and all other kids in the compound use to take video cassettes to the uncles flat to watch films. There was however, this particular day that I was there alone with the uncle and the unimaginable happened between us. I won’t say he took advantage of me because really and truly I have always liked him and used to dream about him as my knight in shining armor in my teenage mind. He on his part has always shown his likeness and preference for me of all the kids that used to gather in his flat. So we continued with our secret affair back then because nobody knew about it. But then, he was a lot older than me and always told me that what he was doing was wrong, however, he was transferred out of Kaduna and I didn’t see him again till years later. I was posted to Lagos for my youth service after graduating from school and that was when I ran into the uncle once again but then he was already married with three kids. So when he wanted us to start off the relationship once again, I bluntly refused and reminded him that he was married and besides back then, I was infatuated with love but now I am more matured. He respected my decision and we became great friends. So when his nephew who came back from abroad where he went to school, saw me with him and enquired about me from him, he told him that we were former neighbors and that I was a very good girl. That was how his nephew and I started dating. However, when the nephew proposed to me and told me that he wanted to marry me, I was initially scared and ran to him to tell him what his nephew was proposing. He gave me his blessing that I should go ahead and marry him and that our little secret was safe with him and that he was even happy that it was his nephew that was marrying me since he knew that I was a very good girl. Now the marriage preparations are in top gear but I am very scared, should the secret come out any day that I had slept with the uncle back then. Do you think I should go ahead with this marriage, or come clean before the marriage, or just let sleeping dogs lie, because I don’t want to bring shame and disgrace to myself or my family?


Source: http://confessionsnigeria.com/post/100/scared-of-the-future

To be honest I see no problem as long as u are not dating this uncle again, more over u where very young back then

I dont see where the problem is, she had the love affair with the uncle before he was married and before she knew about his nephew.
She should just look forward to her marriage, uncle is in the past.

If there was no problem - or at least potential problem - she wouldn't be asking for advice would she?

Marry this guy, and if his uncle blackmails you to sleep with him upon pain of exposure, what will you do? Remember he wanted to resume the affair when you met again - despite the fact that he was married with children. He who sins with you, will sin against you.

How are you sure that no one else knows about the affair? Go to your intended and tell him - which you should have done yourself when things got serious. And please makes sure you answer any questions truthfully and don't leave out anything that may be considered salient.

You will be liberated, and should you both proceed, totally confident in your husbands love and acceptance, on a platform of trust - the best foundation for your life together. If he truly loves you and wants a future with you, it's a small thing to get over - NOW. Afterwards it won't be so easy.

All the best


TV

Another Hints publication.
Well,is that a problem,hell No.
It was in the past,which we can't control.

ConfessionsNgr:
Having seen the confessions of a lot of people on this forum, I am tempted to share my little secret with you and hope that your words of advice or criticism will help me in making the right decision. My name is Adanna (Not real name please) and I am 30 years old. By the grace of God, I will be getting married in about six weeks from now to a very wonderful man whom I love so much and will do anything for. My husband to be, is a very loving and caring man whom I will say is any woman’s dream and I can’t wait to be called his wife. However, I am scared of the future, because of the circumstance of how I met him. I met my husband through his uncle who happens to be a very close friend or to put it in simple terms who was like a sugar daddy to me. Please don’t get it wrong here; I am not the kind of girl that runs after sugar daddies. It just happened that the uncle used to live on the same compound with my parents back in the days in Kaduna where we used to live. Then the uncle was a young bachelor and I was in the secondary school. My siblings and I and all other kids in the compound use to take video cassettes to the uncles flat to watch films. There was however, this particular day that I was there alone with the uncle and the unimaginable happened between us. I won’t say he took advantage of me because really and truly I have always liked him and used to dream about him as my knight in shining armor in my teenage mind. He on his part has always shown his likeness and preference for me of all the kids that used to gather in his flat. So we continued with our secret affair back then because nobody knew about it. But then, he was a lot older than me and always told me that what he was doing was wrong, however, he was transferred out of Kaduna and I didn’t see him again till years later. I was posted to Lagos for my youth service after graduating from school and that was when I ran into the uncle once again but then he was already married with three kids. So when he wanted us to start off the relationship once again, I bluntly refused and reminded him that he was married and besides back then, I was infatuated with love but now I am more matured. He respected my decision and we became great friends. So when his nephew who came back from abroad where he went to school, saw me with him and enquired about me from him, he told him that we were former neighbors and that I was a very good girl. That was how his nephew and I started dating. However, when the nephew proposed to me and told me that he wanted to marry me, I was initially scared and ran to him to tell him what his nephew was proposing. He gave me his blessing that I should go ahead and marry him and that our little secret was safe with him and that he was even happy that it was his nephew that was marrying me since he knew that I was a very good girl. Now the marriage preparations are in top gear but I am very scared, should the secret come out any day that I had slept with the uncle back then. Do you think I should go ahead with this marriage, or come clean before the marriage, or just let sleeping dogs lie, because I don’t want to bring shame and disgrace to myself or my family?


Source: http://confessionsnigeria.com/post/100/scared-of-the-future

Number one, this "uncle took advantage of you"
Number two you should have come clean from the beginning. Coming clean now would be doing the right thing at the wrong time.
Number three, a man who took advantage of you as a teenager will not hesitate to use the fact that you had sex with him as a weapon of blackmail to get you into bed with him. Thread very carefully.

In my own humble opinion ooo, the truth really sets free. It may be painful though, but @ least you have no skeletons to hide.
No one would be able to use it to hang a noose over your head.
It's better you tell your fiance now than for him to find out when he is husband.

My humble opinion oooo.

I think you should tell your husband to be. The anxiety will be too much for you, If you were the kind of woman who didn't think the past is a big deal then it's ok to keep your secrets but you are not that kind of woman which is why you feel scared. Telling your husband what happened is for your own peace of mind and well being.

Tell your fiance the truth
But before you do, ask him for his forgiveness, tell him that you are sorry for not telling him earlier that you were scared of what would happen but you could not keep it from him...that you love him so much and wouldn't want to hide anything from him that could destroy the marriage in the future.
Pour your heart to him then tell him everything as it was.
My opinion though

I tink d mistake u made was that u didn't tell d innocent guy from d beginning of d relationship, u shouldn't ave waited till now,now it's too late to tell him since d wedding preparation is in progress

teeboo:
I tink d mistake u made was that u didn't tell d innocent guy from d beginning of d relationship, u shouldn't ave waited till now,now it's too late to tell him since d wedding preparation is in progress

Its not too late...she can tell him still

According to end time evil marriage counsellors babyosisi or babymama1 or any other names she goes by keep your mouth shut! That is the kind of evil advice she gives. As for me, my stand is very simple. Be totally open so that you go into the marriage without fear of anything.

And we are answering to a a publication in a paper?
Mschtwwww!

dinachi:
According to end time evil marriage counsellors babyosisi or babymama1 or any other names she goes by keep your mouth shut! That is the kind of evil advice she gives. As for me, my stand is very simple. Be totally open so that you go into the marriage without fear of anything.

You can't resist mentioning me can you?