This story is made up.


No Muslim Lady would consider a non Muslim an option in the first place.

Those dumb pple

Op, my final verdict on this issue is, go for the one that will make you a happy woman all your life, for that is the will of God for you. The God as I know Him and serve Him is not a task master that has no consideration for your feelings, future and happiness. Whatever suggestion that cares not or does not consider how you feel about your life is subjective and cruel and is definitely not of God. SHALLOM.

greatestluv4all:
Am 28yrs old.
The married muslim man is 35yrs with 4kids.
The non muslim man is 32yrs old.

My opinion, none are right for you...

Have you even spoken to the first wife to know whether she will be ok with it? If you become a second wife, obviously, you will be doted upon more as the new prize but how will you feel in the next couple of years when you because secondhand material because your polygamous husband found one nice younger babe to make a 3rd wife? If first wife is cool and you are also cool with another woman joining the harem in a few years time, you can go for it. Always try to consider the first wife in such situations.

For the second one, any man who gives you an ultimatum to change your beliefs is not for you.

my piece of advice
you must not leave Islam because its a condition for you to get married to your fiance
what if you get married to him and later your marriage do not work out ??
you don't also want to marry a married man
then wait for another Muslim brother that will not compel you to leave Islam and also may not take a second wife
but it may be difficult for you to find a brother that will promise you he won't take a second wife
in my own opinion I can't promise I won't take a second wife but I pray to Almighty Allah to provide my own wife(pious loving caring understanding matured responsible respectful...) for such that I won't even think of a second wife
for me I dont pray that I should marry a second wife

dear sister. . what of the so call non moslim sigle, married another woman after u got married with him.. u lost so many things.
now to my ans to ur question.. if you are really moslim and u believes in Allah, and articles of faith. . u don't consider been married with non moslim. its as simple as that

Edifyer:
Why don't you ask the christian guy to revert to Islam and then marry him that will be beneficial to both of you. I he truly loves you then he should not have issue reverting to Islam.

You want to turn the guy to a polygamist? Remember that the moment he turns a muslim he obtains the right for many wives. For your reminder the lady wants a one man one wife marriage.

HarkymTheOracle:
I'm a muslim but i suggest u Marry d christain.but u can also marry d muslim (if u love him mor).
U cn live wit a new religion easily bt u cant live wit polygamy easily..choice is urs.
Use ur brain & trust ur instinct.

No Muslim should ever advise a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim, you are pushing her to zina which leads to hell. Moreover, you are asking her to do shirk which is the gravest sin. You don't want to be responsible for that, do you?

greatestluv4all:
To my fellow muslim sister, your candid and honest opinion is required and even the brothers too.

I have two suitors, a muslim and a non muslim.

Both have asked for my hand in marriage and have met their respective families.

Here is the challenge

The muslim is married with kids and only willing to take me as his second wife.
We know every woman wants a man for her self alone.

The non muslim have told me I have to leave my religion, the parents even reiterated these on my last visit.

Both are gainfully employed and are serious about the proposal.

As a muslim sister, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?

Brothers, help a sister.

ihidina sirathal-mustakeem!
You need prayers!
'every woman want to keep a man to herself', as if those that are the only wife of their husband do not face challenges of marriage faced by those in polygamy from their husband too. Ask the christians to give you a verse in the bible that says a man should marry one wife or where jesus even married in his life time. If they cant give you one, then know that d idea of 'one man, one wife' is western.
I pity you cos even contemplate leaving islam because of marriage. What happens if your marriage crash tomorrow?
If you are loved in your man's family, they wont even consider your religion in the first place. Those that love you accept you for who you are and wont ask you to change before they can accept you.
Pray to God to give you the best and, not thinking about polygamy or monogamy.

Proffdada:
I can't save myself, I've got a Savior

so its not occure to u that its the ppl with a defined n devined God wit a devined way of worship re the1 needed here. For ur inf we are convinced set of ppl and not confuse abt our religion. But u knw what u ppl re leavin in a complete state of perpetual confusion. I wish u well by joinin the winin fold that ELITES ve just bn paradin

@ Sis Greatestluv4all, First of all the most important thing to consider is your Akhira (Life After Death). The present world leads you to your place in the Akhira, furthermore MARRIAGE completes half of one's DEEN. My advise for you is to stick closely to your deen (ISLAM).

greatestluv4all:
To my fellow muslim sister, your candid and honest opinion is required and even the brothers too.

I have two suitors, a muslim and a non muslim.

Both have asked for my hand in marriage and have met their respective families.

Here is the challenge

The muslim is married with kids and only willing to take me as his second wife.
We know every woman wants a man for her self alone.

The non muslim have told me I have to leave my religion, the parents even reiterated these on my last visit.

Both are gainfully employed and are serious about the proposal.

As a muslim sister, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?

Brothers, help a sister.

If I shud understand what u av written properly d solution is kinda simple a little

1. The non-muslim doesn't love if he does he wouldn't av advice u against ur religion. Why shud u try to change d person u claimed to luv beliefs if nt bin selfish nd selfishness in a relationship doesn't make a marriage to last, marriage with him is already dead before arrival if only u can read in btw d lines. And how could u even think leaving ur religion for a worldly things don't you think of ur future as well as ur hereafter?

2. If u think u can't marry a married man then why don't you wait for God's time? As it's said God's time is the best... Marriage is not something u rush into because of desperation. There is a simple law for marriage 'if u rush in u rush out'.

3. I know why u ar desperate for marriage, is it because of ur age? Then if its because of ur age I will advice u to take tins easy nd let Allah be d driver to ur life. That's how God wish it to be if u can only let Allah take control of ur life the u won't regret bt if u think u ar good and u can't take care of it ursev the u ar OYO

There is a third option nd Allah will grant u ur heart desire
Maa salam

The creation of Religions can simply be likened with Languages as well... We should also question why there are different kinds of language just like religion. ...If Arabic language is to be the only one spoken and acceptable in heaven than every other languages as we are been told, then Allah does not love all tribes equally But to Allah all languages are acceptable so as all religion that preaches love, peace, faith, compassion and kindness to mankind.....You can fall in love with a Muslim whom is outside your cultural background/language/tradition and yet be comfortable, despite the fact that just only one thing is on the score sheet which is love, not because He is a Muslim for u are becoming a new citizen of an unknown culture, unknown custom, u start to interact with ppl of different mindset as well.....and now ur own family gradually becoming a stranger cos u now treading a different path u've established. Religion was created by men not Allah. Allah created Love and that is why we appreciate love in a strange land than religion.....Our religious leaders have failed in the aspect of being open minded about marriage....Where there is love there is Allah.
Getting married to the xtian is not a sin, but marrying a married man is fatal and might not be a sin as well. We Muslims are just repugnant to calling on the judgment day as if anyone outside Islam is left to be doomed. Just follow heart and let your mind be awakened, Marriage is made in heaven through love not religion.

Edifyer:
Why don't you ask the christian guy to revert to Islam and then marry him that will be beneficial to both of you. I he truly loves you then he should not have issue reverting to Islam.

May God bless you!!

focus7:
Op, my final verdict on this issue is, go for the one that will make you a happy woman all your life, for that is the will of God for you. The God as I know Him and serve Him is not a task master that has no consideration for your feelings, future and happiness. Whatever suggestion that cares not or does not consider how you feel about your life is subjective and cruel and is definitely not of God. SHALLOM.

I'm definitely sure if it's a Christian that post dis u will give an opposite ansa

greatestluv4all:
To my fellow muslim sister, your candid and honest opinion is required and even the brothers too.

I have two suitors, a muslim and a non muslim.

Both have asked for my hand in marriage and have met their respective families.

Here is the challenge

The muslim is married with kids and only willing to take me as his second wife.
We know every woman wants a man for her self alone.

The non muslim have told me I have to leave my religion, the parents even reiterated these on my last visit.

Both are gainfully employed and are serious about the proposal.

As a muslim sister, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?

Brothers, help a sister.

salam alayku. my sister
my advice is that pls Dont trade your deen for any man , we have so many unmarried youth out there who can engage u may Allah assist u

How about a third option; Find another suitor. Seriously, i don't understand why anyone would get stuck in this kind of situation.

Ishilove:

The anti-spam bot is a robot, not a human being. It sometimes makes errors. When ever you're banned by the bot, mail the mods and you will be unbanned

Thank you Ishilove

AbdH:


No Muslim should ever advise a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim, you are pushing her to zina which leads to hell. Moreover, you are asking her to do shirk which is the gravest sin. You don't want to be responsible for that, do you?

she still have d right to make her own choices.
I only pointed out how i feel.
This religion stuff is tearing us apart more than it unites us.
We should learn to love ourselves regardless of religious beliefs...only then will we move forward.

AbdH:


No Muslim should ever advise a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim, you are pushing her to zina which leads to hell. Moreover, you are asking her to do shirk which is the gravest sin. You don't want to be responsible for that, do you?

she still have d right to make her own choices.
I only pointed out how i feel.
This religion stuff is tearing us apart more than it unites us.
We should learn to love ourselves regardless of religious beliefs...only then will we move forward..
Ramadan Kareem

aslamualaiqum, the peoblem here with muslim sistas... when sm1 srzly wants to marry them the word u would here frm them is: pls am nt yet ready for marriage now. on my own view @28 ure nt married ? (am.not.judging.u) back to ur question Allah Almighty says: “And the Jews will not be pleased with thee, nor will the Christians, till thou follow their creed. Say: Lo! The guidance of Allah (Himself) is Guidance. And if you should follow their desires after the knowledge which hath come unto thee, then wouldst thou have from Allah no protecting friend nor helper.” (Al-Baqarah 2: 120)
Given the fact that the husband is generally the head of the household, it's not far-fetched for a non-Muslim husband to prevent his Muslim wife from performing some Islamic rituals which may seem a nuisance to him, for example fasting, or even refraining from marital relations during the fast. As a result, he might force her to change her religion, and if she refuses, the situation may culminate in divorce. Allah the almighty knows best (sorry if i sound harsh)

What I would encourage you to do is sincerely reflect on your intentions of this marriage, research on your own, and consult as many scholarly opinions as possible. It seems from your line of questioning that he is open to converting. If he is open to learning about the religion I would encourage you to expose him to as much valuable information and experiences with Islam as possible to allow him the opportunity to make an educated decision regarding a conversion to avoid a blind conversion for the purpose of marriage.

greatestluv4all:
To my fellow muslim sister, your candid and honest opinion is required and even the brothers too.

I have two suitors, a muslim and a non muslim.

Both have asked for my hand in marriage and have met their respective families.

Here is the challenge

The muslim is married with kids and only willing to take me as his second wife.
We know every woman wants a man for her self alone.

The non muslim have told me I have to leave my religion, the parents even reiterated these on my last visit.

Both are gainfully employed and are serious about the proposal.

As a muslim sister, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?

Brothers, help a sister.

Toh either u satisfy ur religion for the other man
Or go with the other man with a wife already
If u can cope with a polygamous family
Its all ur choice
Or kuma wait another man
Maybe neither of them is the right man for u

Sallamun alaikum n Ramadan kareem. If u need peace and age is not against u, then i will suggest u look for someone else. None of d options will give u d peace u desire.

greatestluv4all:
To my fellow muslim sister, your candid and honest opinion is required and even the brothers too.

I have two suitors, a muslim and a non muslim.

Both have asked for my hand in marriage and have met their respective families.

Here is the challenge

The muslim is married with kids and only willing to take me as his second wife.
We know every woman wants a man for her self alone.

The non muslim have told me I have to leave my religion, the parents even reiterated these on my last visit.

Both are gainfully employed and are serious about the proposal.

As a muslim sister, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?

Brothers, help a sister.

In the first place this is a very disgraceful question to ask, because any islamic girl at 15 could answer this question. Even if you are curious why not ask your mother first and hear her reply cos I believe she will be very disappointed in you. I've been reading a lot of comment and non of my fellow brothers and sisters have made the most important point here!!! Is your Father alive? Your father must do his own research of the men who approached you then grant you his blessings before he gives out your hand in marriage that's the proper way of islam tho Allah know best.
What I conclude from your situation is that you are not strong in islamic knowledge... Please it is not advisable for any muslimah to visit am Man!
My advice to you is that having such a thought at this Holy month is very bad and you need to wake up mid night, peRform some few raka'ats and ask Allah for forgiveness... Ramadan kareem!

HarkymTheOracle:


she still have d right to make her own choices.
I only pointed out how i feel.
This religion stuff is tearing us apart more than it unites us.
We should learn to love ourselves regardless of religious beliefs...only then will we move forward..
Ramadan Kareem

Allahu akram. Even if you want to love people of another faith, it should not be at the expense of Jannah.

AbdH:

Allahu akram. Even if you want to love people of another faith, it should not be at the expense of Jannah.

ok.sorry..

But i still stand on my opinion.
Its left to her to make the final choice.

OgeniBravo:

"I didn't know that you are slow in comprehension...." Your lack of respect for people shows that you are far from being safe and you are in serious need of help!

it's not an insult, I only said the truth which set me free

ISLAM AND CHRISTIANITY are simila.It baffles me wen my muslim and christian folks critizin eachoda.So are u guyz telling me dat just coz sm1 is a muslim,he his guarantee JANAAN,MY sister pls follow your heart.I wld never advice u 2 marry a married man under any circumstance.But come 2 think of it, u are d architect of ur own predicament.Y are u dating 2 men? Are u trying 2 eat ur cake and ave it?.PLs u really need 2 get ur act 2geda.MaY d Almigty God guide and lead u.Remaim Bless!!!

Idino siratal mustakheem.This is a trial to test your iman.And there's no obedience to mere creature in gross disobedience to creator(Allah)...It clearly stated in the Quran that a muslim should marry his/her fellow muslim and dis believer should marry is fellow dis-believer

My advice to you is that don't marry any man at the expense of your religion.

AlBaqir:
First, must you marry any of those men? You can can get a rightful man with prayer and patience.
"Allah does not place burden on any soul..." (Quran)

Second, it is haram for a muslimah to marry a non- Muslim man. No doubt you will lose your iman ( faith and belief). In Islamic sharia, only a Muslim man can marry a non-muslim ( christian or jew only) even at this stage, he cannot force the woman to convert to Islam. She's free to practice her religion. But there's always the danger of the faith of their issues.

Third, you have a choice to make. Can you cope being second wife? Absolutely its your choice and there is no reward whatsoever for being second wife. Its however full of unimaginable challenges.

Lastly, Istikhara is of no use here. Those who keep on advising on Istikhara, though meant good for you, but do not understand the concept of al-Istikhara.

While there are various type of Istikhara, in this case and similar issues, you are expected to use your God- given aql ( intellect) first to seek solution. If you can't find solution, then Islam enjoin you to consult people of wisdom and vast experience for advice. If yet, no solution, only then you can perform Istikhara.

Note, istikhara is not a form of future- teller. I do not wish to go further on Istikhara not to derail this thread.

wa salam alaikum.

First time I see u making sense

intergral:
In the first place this is a very disgraceful question to ask, because any islamic girl at 15 could answer this question. Even if you are curious why not ask your mother first and hear her reply cos I believe she will be very disappointed in you. I've been reading a lot of comment and non of my fellow brothers and sisters have made the most important point here!!! Is your Father alive? Your father must do his own research of the men who approached you then grant you his blessings before he gives out your hand in marriage that's the proper way of islam tho Allah know best.
What I conclude from your situation is that you are not strong in islamic knowledge... Please it is not advisable for any muslimah to visit am Man!
My advice to you is that having such a thought at this Holy month is very bad and you need to wake up mid night, peRform some few raka'ats and ask Allah for forgiveness... Ramadan kareem!

1000000000000000 likes! Jazakumullah khaeran my brother!

It's so unfortunate such is coming from a muslim sister! That shows the type of muslim sisters we have especially in the south west. May Allah(SWT) assist her to get the right husband that will be beneficial to her both in this world and in the hereafter (Amin).