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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Islam for Muslims / Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... (28410 Views)
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Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by greatestluv4all: 3:16am On Jun 18, 2015 |
To my fellow muslim sister, your candid and honest opinion is required and even the brothers too. I have two suitors, a muslim and a non muslim. Both have asked for my hand in marriage and have met their respective families. Here is the challenge The muslim is married with kids and only willing to take me as his second wife. We know every woman wants a man for her self alone. The non muslim have told me I have to leave my religion, the parents even reiterated these on my last visit. Both are gainfully employed and are serious about the proposal. As a muslim sister, if you are in my shoe, what will you do? Brothers, help a sister. 4 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Abduletudaye(m): 4:36am On Jun 18, 2015 |
greatestluv4all: *How old are you?? *Are you even ready for marriage?? Then again, if indeed you wanna get married, are yoh willing to be a second wife? Are you also willing to ditch your religion for love/marriage. If you can give answers to my own questions, then your results are as good as mine. It all has to do with you. If you know what you want, you would know what to do. Good luck. 66 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Abduletudaye(m): 4:59am On Jun 18, 2015 |
Proffdada: Get saved from what exactly 74 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Proffdada: 5:42am On Jun 18, 2015 |
Abduletudaye:eternal damnation 212 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by PassingShot(m): 7:00am On Jun 18, 2015 |
That we still get asked questions like this is unfortunate. Have you thought of what might eventually happen with your marriage with the non-Muslim later in life? The thought that you could even contemplate changing your religion for marriage is depressing really. May Allah keep you in Islam and make you steadfast. Uztadh in the house, please come and help. 82 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by cilifa: 7:33am On Jun 18, 2015 |
tbaba1234 Aminat508 maclatunji wiseboy jarus ibnSultaan amodu mukina2 Egbaguy asunmo12 qudirat |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by egbaguy: 8:45am On Jun 18, 2015 |
I really dnt know what to say......but sister,ditching islam cos of a man will b ur greatest undoing!!!! Inna dina indalahi islam(hope i wrote in correctly). What will u tell Allah on the day of judgement? I am sure other muslim brothers wnt mind dating u.....but ao old are u sef? 35 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by PhunsukhWangdu(m): 9:57am On Jun 18, 2015 |
My sis nothing is more valuable on the scale of preference than your Islaam and you can't afford to trade it oo: PassingShot: And concerning the married man, you should just seek Allaah's Counsel through the Istikhaarah. Have faith in it that you'll be guided by Allaah through it. Of course, if he's the right man for you, Allaah will bless you with him and if he's not Allaah will provide another Muslim man (maybe single this time) that will be better off IN SHAAALLAAH! 33 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Nobody: 9:59am On Jun 18, 2015 |
Salam sis greatestluv4all its painful that you are indeed thinking about leaving Islam for a man you have no certainty what will become of ur relationship tmrw , My advice Your either marry the Muslim with wife / you wait for another suitor remember we shall face God and give account of our actions. tanks for calling me cilifa 25 Likes |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Abduletudaye(m): 10:09am On Jun 18, 2015 |
Proffdada: Oh i see... 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by MarryMeee: 10:24am On Jun 18, 2015 |
Lol 2 Likes |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Ahmed4002(m): 10:25am On Jun 18, 2015 |
cc rawani MuhdG |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Nobody: 11:52am On Jun 18, 2015 |
You should marry the muslim and be his second wife. Than marry a non-muslim and change your religion. 5 Likes |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Nobody: 11:52am On Jun 18, 2015 |
14 Likes |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by greatestluv4all: 12:11pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Am 28yrs old. The married muslim man is 35yrs with 4kids. The non muslim man is 32yrs old. 5 Likes |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Rilwayne001: 12:18pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Proffdada:Really? Have you saved yourself from eternal damnation? 19 Likes |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Nobody: 5:53pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Like u said what would one do if one were in ur shoes. If twere me, I'd choose neither of them and just wait nd pray for someone else. Y, cos I can't leave my religion for someone and also cos Idont want to be a second wife. But if I really only have to make a choice,then I'd go for the married muslim. If u think it well and feel ull be able to cope as a second wife then u shud go ahead with d muslim man and don't tell him to divorce his wife first . Just maybe tell him to get u a houise somewhere else other than d one he shartes with d first wife. Whoever leaves something for Allah's sake will be rewarded with something better. *ps I don't see a same level choice in this God vs man. Definitely God first. 35 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Proffdada: 6:38pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Rilwayne001:I can't save myself, I've got a Savior 164 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Rilwayne001: 6:41pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Proffdada: So, what gave you the chutzpah that that savior has saved you? 24 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Proffdada: 8:54pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Rilwayne001:I've got tickets to heaven and paradise and I can choose where to spend my eternal vacation 104 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Rilwayne001: 9:03pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Proffdada: This is not the answer to my question, perhaps you should go back and check the question again. 27 Likes |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Proffdada: 10:20pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Rilwayne001:I didn't know that you are slow in comprehension , my bad. The question has been answered,to have tickets it means you have accepted you were a sinner and doomed but the Savior redeemed you from this eternal damnation by your belief in His death as a sacrifice for redemption 127 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by bashbabe2: 12:42am On Jun 19, 2015 |
greatestluv4all: Asalamualaikum warahmatulah wabarakatu sis, this is a test for you from almighty Allah no doubt about that . My advice is do not sell your hereafter for this world. You might be a bit desperate to get married maybe because age is not on your side,forgive me if I'm wrong . I'm going to speak from experience now. I've always had non muslim suitors,two were husband materials and good people ,One didn't even mind being a muslim and the best one definitely wanted me to be a christian, but I couldn't process the thought of converting because I am convinced Islam is the right path. So I chose the one who said he would not mind, but i was skeptical later about his commitment and my fear was he might change is mind after the wedding. So I quit just all of a sudden and never looked back. Age is definitely not on my side as well and the thought of not finding anybody else scared me. BUT I trusted in Allah and Alhamdulillah just after 2months I started meeting very good muslim brothers and I had proposals too My advice is its not necessary you go into polygamy but what you shouldn't do is go with a non muslim . Please with patience and perseverance Almighty Allah will definitely reward you with something good. But nothing wrong with polygamy it's been sanctioned to prevent zina . Assess the man well, he's religiousness,character and compatibility, financial status, relationship with his wife and kids and if he is likely to be JUST between the Two wives. Most importantly make lots and lots of dua and supplicate.also do istikhaara on this married man and inshaAllah I believe almighty Allah will order your steps. 57 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by PhunsukhWangdu(m): 9:39am On Jun 19, 2015 |
greatestluv4all: With your age sis! Don't delay any further. I believe you know you can also marry brothers that are younger than you if peradventure the opportunity comes. 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Nobody: 10:06pm On Jun 19, 2015 |
Your case is exceptional |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by tit(f): 3:41am On Jun 20, 2015 |
these re not the only two choices you have. you can also wait for another suitor to come. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by AlBaqir(m): 1:53pm On Jun 20, 2015 |
First, must you marry any of those men? You can can get a rightful man with prayer and patience. "Allah does not place burden on any soul..." (Quran) Second, it is haram for a muslimah to marry a non- Muslim man. No doubt you will lose your iman ( faith and belief). In Islamic sharia, only a Muslim man can marry a non-muslim ( christian or jew only) even at this stage, he cannot force the woman to convert to Islam. She's free to practice her religion. But there's always the danger of the faith of their issues. Third, you have a choice to make. Can you cope being second wife? Absolutely its your choice and there is no reward whatsoever for being second wife. Its however full of unimaginable challenges. Lastly, Istikhara is of no use here. Those who keep on advising on Istikhara, though meant good for you, but do not understand the concept of al-Istikhara. While there are various type of Istikhara, in this case and similar issues, you are expected to use your God- given aql ( intellect) first to seek solution. If you can't find solution, then Islam enjoin you to consult people of wisdom and vast experience for advice. If yet, no solution, only then you can perform Istikhara. Note, istikhara is not a form of future- teller. I do not wish to go further on Istikhara not to derail this thread. wa salam alaikum. 29 Likes |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by zayhal(f): 8:48pm On Jun 20, 2015 |
Asalam alaykum, Op, in Islam, sincerity of purpose is very important. I'm sorry I won't be answering your question directly but shall just point out a thing or two. Did you actually accept the proposal of two men at the same time? Because I feel for you to have gone to the extent of visiting their homes, then you must appear serious to both of them. Do you think this is right? Aren't you playing games already? What I think you need to do now is take some time to evaluate/re-evaluate yourself. What are you values? What kind of life do you want for yourself? How is your relationship with Allah? Can you boldly say you're a sincere person; to yourself and your suitors? Just sit down and think. By the time you get the result of your own evaluation sheet, you'll have the answer to your questions. Ramadan mubarak to all. Ayinba Ifyalways Maclatunji Tbaba Zeezy Ameenat Mukina2 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by PhunsukhWangdu(m): 11:22pm On Jun 20, 2015 |
AlBaqir: O brother! No one says Istikhooroh is a future-teller.You can refer to my first post please. Or perhaps I should bring it down here: And concerning the married man, you should just seek Allaah's Counsel through the Istikhaarah. 2 Likes |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by orogodoganyin(m): 10:24pm On Jun 22, 2015 |
if i understand the OP's condition, she's 28 already nd she thinks time is running out on her. if i were in your shoes, the thought of marrying the xtian wudn't cross my mind. obviously 'cos there's bound to b a problem since i'd keep my religion. marrying the married man, i can't guarantee a problem free marriage either. this is not to say there aren't problem-free polygamous families, infact there's alot. i guess everybody has a role to play to bring peace. however, there's a third choice ur not considering. a lil bit of patient, nd u will have a better option. even widows marry unmarried men, so y not u? 28 is not too old for patience. may Allah reward u 4 ur patience faithfulness. 8 Likes |
Re: Leave Islam Or Accept Polygamy... by Ishilove: 10:36pm On Jun 22, 2015 |
greatestluv4all:Are they the only men in the world? Others will still come. Reject the two of them. That's my candid advice 3 Likes |
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